SAHM Advice PLEEEASE

You wean him off playing with you and tell him to play by himself. You will go NUTS playing things a 2 yr old wants you to play all day. And if he doesn't know how to entertain himself, you'll still be playing with him when he's 8 (and 10).

Yes, sounds pretty normal to me. I did have a semi-routine schedule cause I think it helped us both. I just did my laundry, making beds etc while he "helped" me. Yes, it took FOREVER but he learned, we played, we laughed and the days flew by. I think that schedule would help you. He was bathed before dinner so he could have time with his Daddy after dinner. Whatever works for you guys...

I'm a SAHM. You DON'T constantly interact with them, honestly. Give him some space and opportunity to entertain himself. Speaking of playing, are play dates at your house an option?

This is what I do: I have four kids, a house that ALWAYS could use some fixing up, and a painting hobby... with normal chores and all else I do (Girl Scouts, volunteering at school, and I also babysit other kids at my house sometimes), I'm ALWAYS busy. Laundry is never ending with all the kids, cleaning is never ending, cooking is never ending. Then I've got all the extras that I do. I'm definitely always doing SOMETHING and I'm never bored. Sometimes I get cabin fever, but that is when we go out to the playground or library or something.

My kids are 3, 4, 7 and 8. The two older ones are in school during school time and I've got the other two at home with me. They ALL have "helped' with chores since before they turned two. Around 2yo I teach them. My oldest could identify EVERY letter and number by the time she was 1 1/2. That is what I did in my spare time is teach her. You'd be amazed at what they can learn at that age. She could read before she was 4- because she was my first and I had that time. She started learning to play the guitar at age 4. Enjoy the time you have with just one and use it wisely. There's plenty to do. There's plenty they can help with, learn and there's plenty of useful projects and endeavors you can get into with them being there, observing or lending a hand. Little part time jobs at home, a hobby, a learning experience- keep engaged not just with the 2 year old but with your own mind.

Right now I'm starting to make hand-made Christmas gifts for our family and friends. ...and it's always special when there is a kid's touch to it, too:)

i remember those days! i used to grab a book/magazine, set my son up with something to do and i'd read. the first couple of tries... i maybe got through a paragraph but after awhile he learned to play by himself a little bit better. i'd also do this while i was folding clothes, cleaning, etc. i really tried hard not to "entertain" him all the time. i'd also nap when he did. that helped to recharge my batteries... and now... i miss that snug time. but i totally remember feeling bonkers and i would catch myself watching the clock and trying to calculate when my husband would be home so he could play with our son. i'd feel so guilty about that!

I never played with my kids non stop. He needs down time and alone time too. Grab a hobby YOU L., painting, photography, reading, watching movies, writing WHATEVER, and do it! My days are something a little like this:
Get up, get kids breakfast, play with them, get day started, throw on some PBS shows, then let them "join me" (or not) while I so chores while listening to MY MUSIC or NEWS, then do something with them, errands, whatever, make lunch, put them in nap or in front of toys or video and do MY OWN THING for a while...go into my studio and paint for an hour or two .etc. You don't have to do baby stuff all day long. You can talk on the phone and do your adult stuff.

I bring my kids to adult things I want to do, art shows, political meetings, all errands, etc. Being a sahm mom to three kids has been the first time in my life I've had "time" to pursue painting and get into shows. It's not easy to structure the time, but you can! When I was working full time and had no kids, I couldn't do anything for myself. Now I have kids, and they see me doing stuff for myself while also caring for them.

Let your little guy see from his earliest days his momma is well rounded, interested in things, and busy. He'll be proud to be part of it and doesn't need to always be center of attention. My 2 year old (youngest) has caught onto the fact that momma ALWAYS watches her news at night and her Meet the Press Sundays-she dances to the theme music! Every evening, the kids play and dance while I read Time Magazine for a bit in "my" chair while they "leave me alone" (and climb all over me at times.) They know they need to be quiet when I'm on the phone etc.

We sort of take turns-a piano lesson for them, a little time on the phone for me, some school work with them, some studio time for me....it's a balancing act. It's easier now that they have each other to play with, but I did the same when I had only one, and then two with only one napping...it's about scheduling everything you want to do and keeping yourself on track.

I know you said you can't go out contstantly, but what about joining a MOPS group or something to get y'all out of the house occasionally. Maybe do an in-home playgroup. I do that with some friends, we alternate homes, meet at the park or even someplace for lunch. We try for once a week. Libraries offer story time and a lot of them will have free activities associated with it, Barnes and Noble does story time as well.

And yes, other moms feel like this! You're completely normal. Just do your best to get breaks when you can and you don't have to play with him 24/7. It's good to let him sit and play by himself while you do something that needs to be done or take 15 minutes for yourself.

M.:

I am a SAHM - I have also been a WFHM - I NEVER played with my kids 8 hours a day. I had a house to clean, meals to prepare and other stuff to do.

At 2, he can play by himself while you prepare dinner or do the laundry.

I play with them - I still play Nerf Wars with them (they are 9 and 11) but I am not with them constantly. I think you have set your expectations too high! You are a GREAT mom!!! It's OKAY to need some time to get stuff done.

Have you tried library story time?
Have you tried a Mommy Group?

There are some theaters that cater to SAHMs and offer a matinee film where you can bring the babies! No one is expecting quiet during the movie - they are all mom's and dad's needing a break!

Let him play with himself while you do a load of laundry or prepare a meal. It's OKAY!!!

You are a GREAT mom!!! Don't be so hard on yourself!

I have a great recipe (great b/c it's fun and easy) for doggie treats. My son, even at age 2, loved using the cookie cutters (some were from playdough) and pounding the dough balls and making a little mess. Then giving the treats to our dog after baked was fun too. PM me if you want the recipe. It has flour, hot water, oatmeal, and peanut butter.

PLAYGROUND! I am NOT a home-body and so I try to go to the playground at least once a week.

LIBRARY! We go to the library once or twice a week to get out of the house. We'll rent movies and get books and sometimes try to stay for story-time. We get learning videos in addition to entertainment. Signing Time is fun - you can practice sign language and learn together. I have learned so much with these kid videos.

My 3.5 yr old actually plays very well on his own. I guess all kids are different, but encourage him to have some alone time to play by himself, plus time with you. I think both are beneficial.

PLAYDATES! Introduce yourself to other moms at the library or the grocery store. See if they'd like to meet you at the playground next week. It's worth asking and exhanging numbers. They may be just as bonkers at home and want to get a break and actually talk to an adult during the day.

Teach him how to play by himself ... he is old enough to learn this. Start him off, show him what you expect him to do ie: play cars - help him set up a "town" with cardboard homes/stores etc or set up a race track and show him how he is to play then get up, go do something where he is in your sights and you can correct him when he gets crazy or starts playing "wrong" ie throws or is putting in his mouth. Something that my son loved was when I would fill the bath tub with a can of cheap shaving cream and washable finger paints. He got to paint the tub and tile with shaving cream/finger paints I go to clean the sink, toilet, mirrors, organize the cabnits, fold towels etc; then give him a shower and rinse off the shower/tub. He likes the detachable head on the gentle setting everything gets clean and he has fun! Oh and he loved to "help" with the floors, I would attach towels to his knees and hands and put floor cleaner on the kitchen and we would have a race to clean the floor - he got a small area in the center while I did the rest - worked out VERY well. Not all the games are cleaning but many can be and many can be fun.

Find a Meet Up playgroup or other kid-friendly things to do. Go out and pick up leaves. Look at rocks. Go to a local nature center or park or library. I try to get out at least once a week to a Meet Up or kid-friendly event.

I also agree that he can play independently while you are in the room. My DD will "cook" with play dough while I do dishes or make dinner. She's in the room while I sort laundry and I ask her whose socks they might be? Really big socks? Probably her brother. Really little? Hers. Etc. I get her involved so I can get things done, but I also schedule time out of the house. I am also a WAHM, so having time to myself is crucial. It doesn't need to be long but I also don't want her to watch Dora all day, either.

Play dates!

They keep you sane.

We always played at the local fast food place with a play place. I fed the kids before we left and then got a coffee and let them go. It was so easy and always met some other mom that was in the same place I was. Also libraries all have a story time once a week. L. those story times!

CRAFTS!!! :) They are the best.

Pipe cleaners are cheap and are awesome to play with and create.
Painting
Coloring
Sticky back foam animals

Also, baking cookies an using cookies cutters

All messy, but kids L. it :)

Play groups, story time, play area the local mall. All free & all good ways for you to get a little bit of a break.

Also, don't feel bad for giving him some space. He needs to learn how to play independently & you need to give yourself a break. You don't HAVE to do kid stuff all day, every day. The independent play is just as important as one on one play is.

It's unrealistic to expect a mom to "play" with her kid(s) 8 hours+ per day. Engage him in something--go do something around the house & check on him every 10-15 mins. That's more efficient. Good luck!

Who said you had to play with him 24/7. Who said he doesn't need his space as well to explore, learn and become his own little independent person. Structure your day where you have a little bit of everything packed in. I admit I do not stay at home, however, for the times I have been off and stayed with my son (same age) as yours, I've found "other" things to do to keep both of us occupied. What I have found is that if you have a routine and stick to it, it can work (Ex: wake up, breakfast, play time, mommy work while he entertains himself) and then he naps again, go to a park/outside, cook dinner, etc) You can't let the entire day be focused on your son..as long as he is fed, changed, occupied and sleeps, comforted, etc he should be fine

Do things that you like to do also. I'll read or sew in his room while my toddler plays with his toys.

Hi M. L! I go crazy if I stay at home all the time. That is just my personality. My 2 year old and I go to our local environmental center kid's program on Monday mornings. They read the kid a story on a theme (like rain or bears or trees). They have the kids do a craft. Then we take a tiny hike on a trail if the weather is nice. On Wednesdays we go to my friend's house (or she comes here) and my friend and I take turns running. She has a little boy about the same age as my daughter so we take turns watching the kids. One Thur mornings we go to the library toddler/preschool music time. We skip story time after that...in the summer we walk over to the farmer's market afterwards. On Friday mornings we sometimes to go to the pool. Other days we go to the park or to a family meeting place in town where mom's can chat while all the kids play with toys. Then after our morning activity we come home for lunch (sometimes it's a bit too early for lunch and we just play a bit or I clean up a bit) and then after lunch it is naptime. After nap my older son get's home from school. For me, going to all these mostly free toddler activities around town is a sanity saver. I get to chat with other stay at home parents while my daughter plays and I don't have to entertain her or get that cabin fever feeling. :) Sometimes I will even invite over 2-4 other moms and their kids for a morning play date. I'll make coffee and muffins. In the summers I get together with about 3-4 other moms and their kids and we go for a morning hike once every other week. We pick a different trail each time. I L. doing this and my daughter just loves it! Besides the things I mentioned...there is a free toddler music class once a week. There is a free toddler craft class once a week. Both of these are at that family meeting center. There is mom/toddler yoga once a week...but this is a class you have to pay for. The library has another music and movement program on a 2nd day. There are mom/toddler swim classes. We will have to try this out one day. There are mom/toddler gymnastics classes. There is mom/toddler rock climbing time at the YMCA (the kids play while mom's take turns climbing). These are the things you have to pay for so I have not done many of them. I have dropped in and tried the gymnastics class which was really fun. There is a group of moms who meet and take turns watching kids while the other moms run and there is another group of moms who do this same thing with swimming at the pool. Anyone can join. Whew! There's a lot going on! I hope you can find fun things going on in your community.

Yes!
I am a SAHM of 4 kids and they do have each other so I don't have to try and entertain them all day long.
But, I do crave conversation or fellowship from other adults.
The times we live in atleast where I am at there isn't any sense of community anymore.
Everyone is too busy and you have to schedule play dates.

There is a lot of libraries that have free programs like reading to kids and such.
The YMCA also has a lot of programs so may try to see what some of the programs are in the area.
For me I don't do those things because it is too difficult with so many kids but sounds like you have just the one so getting him out with other kids may help.

I'm not sure what your definition of "going out constantly" is, but how often do you get out of the house? Are there parks, friends' houses, music or tumbling classes that you could go to with him? Or could you invite some of your friends over to your house for a play date? If cost is the issue, there are several free meetups and child-oriented activities available in many communities.

When my oldest was that age, we definitely tried to schedule at least one out of the house play date every day. Ideally, we would have two. For me, it was just nice to have the change of scenery and also to be able to meet other moms. For him, he made so many friends his age, started to learn how to play nicely with others, and just burned off some energy. It made the days go by faster for us both for sure.

My kids played with toys by themselves and wandered in every now and then to play with me. They had their toys in their room and they would play in there.

I quit my job after my second child was born. I understand your feelings and I had many of the same feelings..(however my kids were 18 months apart so I didnt have as much time to play as I spent so much time caring for the 2 babies..)

I didnt play with my kids full time. I let them play together as much as they were able to. I tried to find cheap fun things to do almost every day.. Staying home all day drove me bonkers.. but if we got up and got dressed and then went someplace for even 1 hour.. I felt good and the day seemed to go better.. (( breakfast, little outing back in time for lunch.. nap.. daddy comes home after nap.. I made it through the day)) Look for library story times.. at your local library or any other city nearby. FREE and educational. find a playgroup. some are run by school districts, some are moms club international. look in the parks and recreation brochure for age appropriate classes -(they will all be mom and tot at this age) if the weather is decent.. go outside .. take a walk,, to the park around the block.. to the post office .. With one child the grocery store is a fun outing ... just try to get out of the house daily and see if that helps everyones mood..

I feel ya! I was right there, too. Perhaps it is time to start working on his "playing by himself" skills. Seriously. It takes work on your part, and sometimes just can't be accomplished until a little more time goes by... but if you make a certified effort and work at it, you can make some progress. Maybe up to 10 minutes of uninterrupted time! ;)

One thing I learned with my little guy, was that if I spent time doing the "normal" things I needed to do, that often he would want to help or join me. Gotta vacuum the floor, right? Let's pick up ALLLL the toys and put them in baskets and set them on the sofa, so we can vacuum!!! (make it a game). Pretend to chase him with the vacuum like it's going to suck him up inside it, lol.
Or with laundry... see who can gather the biggest pile of dirty clothes into laundry room.. or who can be fastest getting "their" dirty things to the laundry room (him bringing his, and you bringing yours and dad's)... Then let him help you sort it. ALL white things go in THIS pile. All dark things (blue/black, etc) go in THIS pile... you want to drop these pants into the washer?? Let him press the start button. :)

He won't really be helping you, but he'll be learning, and YOU'LL be getting something "accomplished"....
This time will go by pretty quickly, though I know it seems like it will drag on forever right now. I have to go track down my 13 year old and 10 yr old nowadays. They just disappear..... ummm Helllllooooooo!! Anybody hear me?? I need help bringing in the groceries!!!