RSVP Question: - Mesa,AZ

This is one of my pet peeves. I think it's acceptable to send a "We're so excited the party is just a week away. We hope you can make it, please let us know so we can plan accordingly".

I would just phone the ones who haven't RSVP'd, but I would wait until the day of the deadline to make the calls.

Yes, it is perfectly ok to re-send evites. I have received evites, replied, & then I get reminders with my current response. People can have such busy schedules, & I know a lot of people who appreciate the reminders.

Yes, it's absolutely ok to send the reminders. (Anything could have happened - the first evite could have gone to bulk or spam, someone could have accidentally deleted the evite, or they could just be waiting or have forgotten.) Reminders are very helpful!

I hope you have a great party!

Absolutely sent another round.

People can be so rude!

The evite service I have used in the past allowed me to send a reminder message. If yours doesn't, I see nothing wrong with resending your invitation, just make sure it's not resent to those who have already RSVP'd.

Oh, has anyone told you they are or aren't coming verbally, but not through the evite? If so, update those on your list first, too.

Evite étiquette is still evolving so the rules are fuzzy. Some people re-send to give people a chance who might have missed the original, and sometimes people resend to include a list of who has already accepted (it depends on whether the original recipients already clicked to receive that info). Often seeing a list of who has already responded can motivate people, and sometimes seeing that friends are already going makes others get excited and sign up.

Otherwise, I think an RSVP deadline is the deadline - so no, you don't make phone calls before the deadline. Otherwise you have an earlier deadline than the one you wrote in the invitation. You have to give people a chance to do the right thing, which is to reply by the deadline. I remember getting a pushy phone call days before the deadline and I found it really rude. If she wanted an earlier deadline, she should have put that in the invitation, you know?

The problem with evites is that they are, by nature, more impersonal. The good thing is, of course, that they are easy to do, less expensive than printed invitations & stamps, and easy for others to see what's happening (and even what people have volunteered to bring). The bad thing is, they are easy to ignore when new emails come in on top of them, and also because recipients feel that tons of people are receiving them so what's the big deal if I don't respond.

Of course, 40 years ago, no one put in the RSVP and certainly not a date, because everyone just knew that this was good manners. You put in your phone number or address, and everyone knew that they had to respond in a timely manner. Anyone who failed to respond was removed from future lists (or an inquiry was made into their health and welfare because of course they wouldn't ignore you unless hospitalized), and anyone who just showed up was greeted with stunned silence and shock, followed by an awkward "Well, how lovely and surprising to see you. Won't you come in?" and a reshuffling of the places at the dinner table. That person never failed to respond again.

So I think you can resend now. Wait until a day after the deadline, and send an email (individual, not group) to those you think would most likely really want to come and say "I haven't heard from you and hope everything is okay. Let me know if you need anything." Let everyone else go and assume they are NOT coming. You cannot badger people. If they really don't care enough to reply, they aren't interested in your event and maybe not even in your company.

Or maybe they just have atrocious manners. In which case you get some extra food (maybe something that can live in the freezer and be popped out if you have a ton of extra visitors), and you greet them with bewildered surprise when they ring the doorbell, then recover and welcome them in. "Oh, my goodness! I am SO surprised to see you!" Then stop, while they fumble a response. Then you launch into your gracious hostess mode and say, "Well, come on in anyway. We'll rustle up some extra snacks and throw another cup of water in the soup! Hey honey, look who's here!!" Then you stop talking about the rsvp and be super hospitable. They won't do it again, at least not to you.

RSVPs seem to be an evolving social paradigm. once upon a time people naturally responded to an RSVP (the phrase itself is clear, after all), but that seems to have fallen by the wayside.
i get almost no response to my evites and individual emails, and my parties (which are few) are correspondingly squishy. i make tons of food, almost always hold potlucks, and it works out. if few people show up, there are fewer dishes, but i've made enough so that no one goes hungry even if the variety's not there. but usually way more people come than have RSVPed, and there's food galore.
it gets sticky when it's a more formal deal, like thanksgiving, where i'm providing everything AND need to know the number of seats. then i really need a head count, so i call the ones who don't respond by the deadline. it's a minor nuisance, but i'm pretty forgetful so i don't get resentful about it.
if you are okay with your guest list numbers being a little vague, just resend the RSVP on the day of the deadline. if you really need more accuracy, forget the evites and call.
khairete
S.

While I don't use evite (I usually call some directly or use email), I do generally send out a 'can you make it?' email or phone call around the time of the RSVP deadline. I figure that a lot of us are busy moms and don't assume that anyone is intentionally blowing me off-- we all just have a lot on our plates. So, after that second inquiry, I might call anyone I haven't heard from ("Hi, don't know if you got my email, so wanted to let you know that we're having...." ) and just check in. We always have enough extra food, etc and when it's not a kid-oriented thing, our friends are always up for potluck, so that helps.

You can ask any time you want. It's your party, and it's vital information. Go ahead and check with your guests who haven't responded. Remind them of the deadline. I believe that e-vite services provide a way to do this.

For some people you may want to be more direct. Call them on the phone. "Fran, I sent an e-vite to you about our party on the 14th, and I hope you're coming. I need to have a head count for the preparations. Will we see you here?"

Folks seem to be notorious about not responding to RSVPs. It's easy to forget an invitation (that's no excuse, though). It's easy for some people to miss an e-vite in their incoming e-mail, or even not know what it is. I've even heard some people say that they have a fear of commitment to events because something better might come up!

But that's not your problem. You just need to know how many guests you will have. Once you've checked, plan for just a few more in case of surprises.

Hope your party is great!

Why don't you call the person and speak them them voice to voice.

If they haven't responded to a written or emailed invitation then speak to the person.

People just do NOT respond to them. They get them, put them on the back burner, and forget.

you should call those you haven't heard from. Not everyone knows how to use evite, my mom included. So while many of your guests may have seen the invite, they might not know how to respond. My mom couldn't figure it out and needed me to text the hostess to RSVP. Some people are just not tech savvy, even though for most of us it is a no-brainer.

Resend. I personally hate evites. I think they're a little rude. I'm old fashioned in that taking the time to write a nice invite matters to me, and if I don't have the piece of paper on my desk to remind me, I will very likely forget it five minutes after I close my email.

There are a lot of complaints about people not sending an RSVP on this site, and yet, perhaps people don't recognize the correlation between using electronic invitations and the lack of responses.

I think that Evite will send a reminder a couple of days prior to the event. I contact directly any key people I want there. Otherwise, I do not babysit grown-ups who did not have the courtesy to let me know whether or not they will show up. I do not plan for extras.

For more formal events, I have place cards and an exact number of chairs and plates. I ask them not to be seated until everyone else is seated or I make a big deal (not dramatic, just "let me find you a seat") of putting together seating for them.

For more casual events, I make name tags or have a guest list and just hope that they feel a tinge of...something...when they don't find their names in the bunch.

I also don't mind vocalizing "Oh, I wasn't expecting you." It's one thing to forget and RSVP late or simply decide not to show up. I wouldn't even mind someone showing up and expecting to partake ONLY in the socializing (not food or drink or chair). However, a person who has not RSVPed and shows up like they should have been expected and just jumps in--and with no acknowledgment--will not be comfortable. I am a very gracious and accommodating hostess to my guests. A person who has not RSVPed after being requested to do so is NOT my guest.

Evites are nice but shouldn't be the primary way to invite people. I know my mother missed an evite to my nephews party, I missed an evite to a communion, and I've heard of others. Not everyone can look at the computer as frequently as others. I work in a job where it is virtually impossible and don't always catch up My thinking after watching my mother get completely out of joint on not being invited - when she was and I saw the invitations and assumed she was contacted, is that you call those on your list and say you are doing a head count. People are also often rude these days and wait til the last second to answer or not at all. And while I"m on my soap box I am tired of getting thank you texts for giving one hundred checks at a wedding and no handwritten thank yous. We need to all be reminded about our good old fashioned manners. Me included. Enjoy your party!

People are so bad about this. You obviously are putting a lot of money and effort into this and it would only be courteous to respond. If it were me, I would call each that didn't respond and ask them personally. I'm sure they'll apologize and hopefully they'll learn not to leave their next host "hanging".

It is perfectly fine to resend. Evites has a function so you can select a group (in this case people who have not responded) to resend with a message. It also looks to most people like an automatic function of the program, so I wouldn't worry about it being rude. You can also send a reminder to people who have responded yes and couch it as a little additional info (just a heads up that parking will be across the street, there is rain predicted, remember to bring your swim things, etc) so people don't see it as a reminder. have fun.

I still am baffled at people not rsvp'ing. But I wait until the day after of the deadline and then if I see them I just ask them in case their invite was lost or didn't have the opportunity to answer. Otherwise I send a little e-mail kindly asking since I understan things get busy and all. Not fr a birthday, but once I found out I used the wrong e-maill address so she was happy I followed up :) good luck

It is frustrating but a lot of people just don't respond. Pick up the phone and call some people if you want and send a reminder shortly before the party.
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Otherwise, just have plenty of food. I try to plan on buying extra of non perishables but often give extra away to guests I know are on a tight budget.

I think evites do have a way to send reminders to those who have not responded but always expect a few more than respond and you will not be stressed the day of the party.

Have a great party.

I wait until day of deadline and email each person. You can also see whether they viewed it. GL.