rPlease Help : Nicu/nursery Experience

I'd make a point to visit the NICU a few times prior to delivery and get a rapport going with some of the staff so they will be in the know and then recognize you when that time comes.

When my son was born, he had to be in the NICU.
I was able to go & be with him to breastfeed him, hold him etc.
They encouraged it all.
The NICU was on a separate floor.
I would be taken down in a wheelchair by a nurse or by my hubby.
In the NICU is where I would stay w/him until my husband came to stay w/him if I needed to go back to my room to rest. They allowed 1 person at a time to be w/the baby. I would sit outside when his grandparents came to visit him.
I was able to hold him, breastfeed him & have skin-on-skin contact.
His incubated crib was warm & cozy.
I received such care & support from those nurses.
They were amazing, helpful & encouraging.
I don't know that my baby & I have felt quite that cared for since leaving the hospital. :)
I have nothing but wonderful things to say about my experience & those wonderful nurses.
My husband or I would take turns spending all day w/him.
When I was finally released to go home (I had to leave him there for a week.....I was so sad but it turned out to be just fine), we came every day for that week & spent all day at the hospital to be w/my baby!
You will most likely have to wait to co-sleep until your baby comes home from the hospital.
You will be given a little bit of time together after the birth before they take her gently in a nice, warm incubated bed.
They made sure I knew how to breastfeed, swaddle, care for my baby (even making me take a mandatory 3 hour class before being able to be released from the hospital which I thought was great).
I felt comfortable. I did, however, have a hard time leaving him there to go home but as I said we came back imediately the next morning as soon as we were allowed to and spent all day w/my newborn.
I stayed in the hospital for 2 1/2 days before being released.
He is now 3 and is happy & healthy.
I attribute a large portion of this to their care.
Much love sent your way to you & your baby!

NICUs are handled differently. The two best in our area (considered best by healthcare peeps) are Children's & Evergreen (the overflow hospital for Childrens), and I've spent a bunch of time in both. Working at Evergreen, and as a parent of an older kid (PICU, and then medically complex wing...but, of course, made friends with NICU parents, so I was up there a lot. Over 6 months, one gets pretty familiar with the place!).

Both NICUs encourage breastmilk when possible (although neither breastfeeding nor breastmilk is always possible... milk doesn't always come in when parents are stressed or the baby's early, and many infants are on NG tubes).

Both encourage a LOT of skin on skin contact.

Both are staffed with volunteers to make sure that babies without parents present get a lot of touch and affection (pre-nursing students, mostly... it's a rigorous process to be accepted into, volunteering in a nicu).

Neither have 'in room' sleeping... because the NICUs are open floorplan... so that the nurses have eyes on the infants 24/7 and are never more than a few feet away.

I'm not sure about Evergreen, but Childrens has ICU Parent Sleep Rooms just outside the NICU /PICU (also parent laundry, parent break rooms, parent showers, etc. Really, you never HAVE to go home, and many parents from long distances just live in the hospital for a few weeks to over a year. Granted, after the baby is stable enough to leave the NICU, the single and double rooms all have parent beds along the walls, and showers in the room) so you're sleeping 1 foot away.

Both have parent chairs (rocker types) next to the isolettes.

Both train parents to do the majority of the care needed (trach care, NG feedings, breathing treatments, etc.). Parents aren't expected to do these things INSTEAD of the nurses, but they are allowed and encouraged to.

The NICU, more than any other dept, shoes parents out. Not because they don't want them there... but because nervous parents often don't SLEEP. Long term parents take on that role to free up nurses (of getting parents to go get food, go shower, go sleep), but don't be surprised if you're occasionally told to go take care of yourself. Sleep deprived screaming parents in a NICU is a scary thing. That kind of explosion can really hurt infants (causing BP to spike, some crash... others go into breathing attacks)... so when you're asked to go sleep DO GO SLEEP. Or at least lay down with your eyes shut if you feel you can't. The nurses get really good at recognizing the early signs of a parent about to snap, so the screaming tantrums of scared/angry/no-sleep-parents rarely happens... but if a parent doesn't leave when asked... security will come to protect the safety of their own and other's babies by bodily escorting the parent out. And they won't be allowed to return for a period of usually no less than 8 hours, and sometimes 24 hours. I think this is a good thing to know... both to see how seriously infant's emotional and physical well being protected... as well as a heads up. ((Oh. And almost EVERYONE is told to 'go take a break' in a NICU/ PICU/ Children's Hospital from time to time!!! They're kind about it, because they're used to us AND most of the nurses are parents as well. They understand freaked out parents!!! So they're really, really nice about it.))

ALSO... as I'm sure you know... you may have to drop a few ideals / ideas. In the NICU, baby care is individual. They won't swaddle a child who hates swaddling. The won't put a baby on it's back if it's a baby who is prone to aspirating (babies in NICUs sleep every which way, depending on the health needs of that baby. Little monkeys!). They won't exclusively breastfeed if there isn't a suckle reflex (but you and they will be working on getting that reflex going as soon as possible). They will often supplement, because NICU babies don't often have the "wiggle room" to lose a little weight while milk production starts and stablized (but they'll get them transferred onto breastmilk... and there are *great* hospital grade pumps. Sometimes, too, donor milk is a possibility. Depends on your baby and their needs). BUT THEN YOUR BABY STABLIZES, AND YOU GET TO START MEETING GOALS/ DOING THINGS THE WAY YOU LIKE BEST AND YOU GO HOME.

As I've mentioned way up top, though, NICUs are handled differently. I would strongly suggest that you arrange a visit to the NICU... to go see what they're like.

Everyone understands and respects where you are coming from as far as everything you want to do for your baby, but the more flexible you are the better you will handle this situation and any other situation that comes with having kids. Don't make this about your baby's emotional health right now, and don't make it about yours either. If you get stressed out about this now, then your body may react aka your milk may stop or you could develop high blood pressure and then you would REALLY have something that will keep you from the baby.

My first daughter was taken to the NICU after she was born. It was completely unexpected. The delivery was fine, no indicators in labor, but she came out and wouldn't breathe. NICU was called and suddenly a swarm of doctors was taking care of her. I was too overwhelmed to be upset. Basically she had too much fluid in her lungs which they had to suction out and help her breath for awhile. The NICU staff was fantastic. My hubby went with our little girl and stayed with her until I could come up. She was breathing on her own later that day, but was in the NICU for a few days for monitoring..as it was such a surprise to everyone, and the Drs wanted to make sure she was okay.
The NICU staff was very supportive of breastfeeding and would call me when I needed to come up. they would set me up in a chair, calling for lactation nurses to come help since it was my first time. Really, they do as much as possible while keeping their medical issues the number one priority. I never felt it was cold or unfeeling. The Nurse I worked with were the most caring for Mom and Baby. No one wants to be there, but in my experience the staff that works there is amazing. I felt like we had so much support and like someone else said - we were so cared for. No, she was not in my room she was in the NICU her entire stay. But she was where she needed to be and I or my hubby was with her just about the whole time. My little girl is now 4 years old and you would never know she had such a dramatic start to her life.

My son was in the NICU for 35 days after he was born. And like another poster mentioned you won't be able to hold them, I didn't for the first 7 days. And the baby won't be able to stay in the room with you. The hardest is leaving the hospital, but you have to remind yourself it's the best for the baby. As far as breastfeeding depending on the issues you might have to pump at first. That's what i did for my son. As for the bonding I had the same fear about my son but i can promise you he's attached at my hip and always have been, just make sure to spend as much time in the NICU as you can. Oh and ASK QUESTIONS! Even if it seems like a dumb one ask anyways, and you can get the direct number to the NICU so when your home you can call anytime and check on your little one. This helped soooo much during my sons stay. Good Luck with your baby and family. You can message me if you want to talk further :)

Greg was born 6 weeks premature. Our NICU staff was WONDERFUL - they encouraged the kangaroo hold and encouraged me/us to be in there ANY time AFTER we slept. They would get him out of the incubator and set me up in my rocking chair, put a curtain around us and let us be. They would ensure all of his wires were in tact.

He was in the NICU as a precautionary measure. We knew he was going to be early - my due date was 10 May. I went into labor 28 Jan and again on 14 Feb. I was on bed rest until the day he was born. I had been given the steroid shots to help develop his lungs. He had a high bilirubin (liver function) count so he was under the lights.

The NICU staff is, in my opinion, different than the normal nursery staff. You will see they handle the babies with kid gloves but firmly - the first time one picked up my son - I almost flipped a nut! They TEACH you how to handle the baby.

When Nicky was born it was a whole 'nother ball of wax. His first APGAR score was a 2. He was purple. It took them a good 2 minutes to get him to cry - he stopped breathing in front of me - flat lined - I normally don't panic - but I freaked - my son - all of 6 hours old flat lined in front of me the nurses pulled me out of the NICU and LOCKED THE DOOR!! They worked on him - got him back and we were not allowed to hold him for 24 hours. He was stuck in the incubator with tubes sticking out all over his little body and oxygen mask on his face. The doctor told us he was 50/50 - he had pneumonia and a lot of pulmonary issues. We were told he would be there for AT LEAST 6 weeks. We called our Priest and church...he came and said a blessing over Nicky. Our church started a prayer chain. Within 48 hours he was off the ventilator, at 72 hours he was breathing on his own, at day 9 they released him. the power of prayer baby, the power of prayer. The doctors were surprised....

Any way the NICU nurses will be there to help you. They will encourage you, depending upon what is wrong with your child, to hold her, breast feed her. You will be in a room with other parents caring for their infant as well. You will NOT be allowed to co-sleep in the NICU. Our NICU wanted us to get our rest as well. Sleep is SOOOO important.

Well you haven't told us what she is going through. But I can tell you that babies that are sick can't have the holding and touching you want to do. Often times when they are being held and touched their oxegyn drops way down. You have to stand back and let them stabelize her first and foremost. They want to hand her over to you. But not until she is okay. You simply have to brace yourself for this.

my daughter was in the nicu for a week and i breast fed her. just request that they call you when she needs to be fed. i also pumped for when i went home before she was disscharged. the staff should handle your needs. so as long as she isnt in the nicu till she is disscharged she should be in your room :)

I think every NICU has very different rules. Although like someone suggested, you may not be able to 'tour' the facility, but you can certainly call and request information on their policies.

My middle son was a 26 week preemie, 1lb 11oz. We chose the same hospital the first child was born in even though they had a very small, relatively new NICU, and the big city cutting edge hospital was the same distance away.

They were wonderful. They encouraged nursing, they worked with every individual family. They were very accomodating to families and siblings. Perhaps since they were so small (there were no more then 6 or 7 babies there for the 3 1/2 months we were there). It was also a Catholic hospital, and I liked it that 'God lives there'.

We became very close to the staff and the other families. There was counceling available. The lactation specialist was paramount in my ability to nurse (my husband called her the 'breast police').

17 1/2 years later, said preemie has accepted an academic scholarship to his 1st pick school, and has no long term effects (except he is only 5ft 5in). And frankly, I am just so impressed that he's ALIVE, anything he does beyond that is OK BY ME!

We have visited the NICU often, sent them pix and letters of Daniel's progress. I just don't know how I would've gotten through it without so many loving, patient, caring medical professionals!

So bring your questions to the NICUs you have available.

Best to you and your new addition!

:)

I would visit the NICU, see how things are done there, make an appointment to speak with a nurse-supervisor there, etc. Your OB/GYN will not be in charge of your baby in the NICU. The OB is your doctor. Your baby will have his/her own doctor. I'd look into pediatric specialists who are affiliated with the NICU there and start interviewing them to find someone who will be compatible with your desires and your style and have them listed on your chart as the baby's doctor. Good luck

My oldest daughter was in the NICU. The staff encouraged breast feeding, skin on skin, etc.

At our facility, they had furnished "family" rooms in which mom and dad can nap in, watch TV, eat, recoup, etc. The rooms were located within the NICU. Obviously the babies couldn't enter those rooms.

Our daughter started out in a heat bed and then was moved to the regular bassinet. When she was in the heat bed we were not able to hold her but we could touch her. With the regular bassinets, they had rocking chairs located next to all the babies. We rocked our daughter frequently as did the nurses. They also sometimes put her in a baby swing (which she loved and she still love to swing). She was fed only breast milk (breast fed and pumping) for the entire duration of her stay in the NICU and no one tried to suggest we do otherwise, in fact, they were thrilled.

We were asked to step into the family rooms when any of the babies were in distress. They don't need freaked out parents getting in the way.

Two visitors were allowed at a time and were restricted to mother and father and grandparents of the baby. No children under the age of 12.

There may be times when they tell you no, you can't do that or no, we won't do that. They aren't doing this for any reason other than it is what is best for your baby.

We were required to pass an infant emergency care/CPR class prior to taking our daughter home.

I hope all goes well for you.

Oh...I had a high-risk pregnancy with my second and had to deliver at a facility with a NICU because they thought she might have to be admitted based on my risk factors. She was totally fine and did not need to go to the NICU. We took her home two days post delivery.

My son ended up in the NICU for a week for a doublephneumothorax a spontaneous hole that collapsed his lung). Anyway, they put him in an oxygen tent and he was better within 24 hours. I wasn't able to hold him for a day or so, but our NICU experience was GREAT considering all that happened. It was our first pregnancy and they were so helpful and courteous to us. They showed my husband and I how to care for my son and allowed us to be there with him as often as we wanted. While I wouldn't wish for anyone's child to be in the NICU, I am so thankful for those talented nurses and the technology we have today to care for these special babies. Just remember the nurses/doctors have your child's best interest at heart, work with them as much as possible and everything will be just fine. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!
HTH,
A.

Call your local La Leche League leader or go to a meeting to find other mom's with similair philosophies who've done the NICU thing in your area? (AND it'll help you line up support people before you need them!)

http://www.llli.org/webus.html

Call the NICU and tell them you're a high risk pregnancy and ask to take a tour NOW

Contact the hospital you're delivering at with your questions as they can best answer them.

A dear friend of mine had complications with her pregnancy and her daughter was born many weeks premature. In her situation there wasn't an NICU nursery at the hospital she delivered at and they helicoptered her baby to another hospital. She had an emergency c-section and called me right before they took her to the OR and begged me to go to the hospital the baby would be taken to and to give her as much physical contact as I could until she was released (it turned out to be 4 days) from the hospital and could see her on her own. I went and spent as much time as I could with her, touching her, talking to her, and feeding her (formula at first) as did her grandmother. Once my friend was released she then went to the hospital and did the same as we had, continued to pump her breastmilk and successfully bonded with her daughter. It certainly wasn't how my friend had envisioned having her baby, but it was what needed to be done and both mother (a widow) and child came through just fine.

Best wishes and blessings for your delivery.

My sister's son was 7 weeks early. She wasn't able to room with him because he had breathing issues and needed to be in the NICU. She visited him every day. When she was able to hold him, they did kangaroo care. It was really really hard to have him away from her and not be able to hold him at first due to the wires and such, but he wasn't in a cold room. He was warm under the lights and she could rest her hand on him and talk to him. She also pumped and has been able to nurse, although he does take some bottles (when he was really having trouble or when she is at work). I would try to focus on what you CAN do and not what you can't. If you know that the NICU is a possibility, would it be better to talk to the nurse there and get some more information about what to expect? What you can bring your baby? (My nephew had his own blanket from home and a friend brought their son his first stuffed toy.) Etc. When my sister was too sick to visit (she had pre-e so bad she was minutes away from the ICU herself), her husband visited and spent time with their son. He never went a day without one of his parents. Remember, if she's in the NICU, there's a reason. In my nephew's case, he was too tiny to remember to breathe and needed help. Those few weeks in the NICU were necessary so they could have him home for all the years that are to come.

By the way, my nephew is so bonded to his parents. His early weeks didn't keep them from forming a bond.

Are you have the c-section for your health or that of baby's? It is hard to answer your question because of the ambiguity in it. That being said, I run a cesarean support group for women who had traumatic c-sections. Many of us also had our babies taken to NICU and didn't see them for quite some time afterwards. Here are some things to consider:

1. Is a c-section needed for the baby or for you? If not, then know that a natural birth is the best and quickest path to your being able to get to the NICU in the first place. It is normal for women who have a natural birth to be up and walking in an hour or two...

2. If c-section is necessary, then consult with your OB on what is the best route to take for anesthesia. There are pros and cons to everything - but your goal is to be mobile enough to get to NICU. Ask your hospital what their policy is...can you go to NICU in a wheelchair or will they insist that you be under your own power (either a walker or walking unassisted). This varies a lot and will really influence how soon you can get to your baby.

3. Will the hospital you are at have all of the needed facilties for your baby? If there should be any need to have baby transfer, you will likely not be able to transfer as well after a c-section. That means 2-3 days where you are in one hospital and your baby in another. As I've seen with some of my moms, that causes a lot of traumatic stress not only for mom, but also for fathers and other family members. I've had mothers whose babies were airlifted to hospitals up to 5+ hours away from mom.

4. Find a pediatric specialist with privledges at the hospital so that you can have a relationship ahead of time and get a better idea about what to expect. In many cases, a doctor can waive the standard "hospital" procedures to accomodate your wishes as long as there is no danger in doing so. We work with an OB and pediatrician team at a local hospital that allow c-section babies to nurse on the operating table, covered by warm blankets, skin to skin with mom - as long as both are otherwise well. This happens while mom is sewed back up. Babies are not ever removed from mom and stay with mom through OR, recovery room and move to post-partum room together. This is not standard at the hospital but something that we've worked on through the years.

Hope this helps. Always remember that you or dad have to consent to any care your child receives. You also have the right to demand that a parent is there with child for most procedures (including washing, weighing, shots, etc.) Babies are typically cared for better when a parent is supervising!

Hope this helps. C.

My middle son (3 years old) was born with a complex congenital heart defect. We knew about it before he was born. The Children's Hospital in our area did not deliver babies at the time (they do now). He was transported via ambulance 2 hours after birth. My husband went to the Children's Hospital and my mom stayed with me at the hospital where I delivered (3 miles away). I had to have a c-section with him, so my hospital stay was 5 days. Every day my husband would come pick me up and take me to see our son. I could stay about 2 hours each day. My husband stayed with our son around the clock. My mom stayed with me and my MIL stayed with our oldest. I pumped all the time. The hospital gladly stored my milk. Our was intubated and on IV nutrition. He had open heart surgery at 11 days old. We were able to hold him a couple times a day before surgery. After surgery, he was on life support and his chest was still open for 9 days or so...so we could not hold him. We still talked to him and touched him. We were at his side 24/7. Once we were able to hold him, we did it as much as possible. In our NICU, there was one nurse for every patient. So, if we weren't holding him, our nurse could hold him. He was in the NICU/PICU for 30 days. Once he started eating, it was through a NG tube. I was able to pump and put my milk in the tube.

He is almost 4 and I feel just as close to him as my two other boys. We definitely had an opportunity to bond. Although he had to go through some rough times, he also had both of his parents at his side 24/7 for 30 days (we would sleep, shower, and eat in shifts). Sometimes what we "hope" for and what we actually get can be different, but just as wonderful!

P.S. Someone mentioned a NICU tour. We were given one! And, don't worry about a cold bassinet--our little guy only wore a diaper for 30 days...he was in a heated little bed.

My youngest was in NICU for 5 days after birth. He actually had to be transferred to an attached childrens hospital because the NICU at my delivering hospital was full. I was welcome to come at any time - EXCEPT if they were admitting a new baby or had to do a procedure. Then the NICU was not open. They encouraged breastfeeding very strongly but know that there are time you will not be able to breastfeed. Just pump and take it to them. They will use your milk to bottle feed. You will not be able to room with her. You need to call and talk to the hospital. They may very well be able to give you a tour and answer any questions. At ours, there was 1 nurse for 2 babies. So the children got lots of attention and care. They don't just leave the babies in isolettes and not comforted. Depending on your childs issues - they may or may not be able to pick her up. We could pick up and hold my son. As a matter of fact, the nurses were always holding him since he didn't have to have all the lines the other babies had. It will be ok - just know that your daughter is getting the care she needs.

First, I don't know if they will give you a tour of the NICU like someone suggested (each hospital may have different rules so some may), but generally they are protective of the babies so not just anyone can come in/out of the NICU. They are also very protective of the privacy for the families. We were allowed 2 people in at a time, so my husband and I could be there together. Or when my mom and bff came, they could come in with me or Jeremy, one at a time. That was good, I thought.
I had only a few hours warning that my son would go into NICU. My water spontaneously broke and when I went to the hospital that was planned, they told me that they didn't have a NICU, but my son being born 6 weeks early was going to have to be helicoptered to another hospital downtown while I stayed at a separate hospital. I seriously came out of that bed in one leap and started taking my gown off immediately---I was NOT going to be separated (as in 20 minutes away) from my baby. They told me to lay down and they'd try to figure it out. They ended up taking me by ambulance to the hospital with a NICU, and a different doctor was there for delivery. She ended up being someone that I trusted implicitly though, which is strange--I liked her more than my "real" OBGYN. I was in "distress" though I didn't know it, she was very calming. They explained that NICU staff would be on hand, in the delivery room, waiting to take him. I was upset, but seriously, you have to put aside your feelings and realize that your baby's heartbeat, temperature, and breathing are infinitely more important than your feelings as a mother. When he was born, I literally held my breath, and wouldn't breath until he did. It took almost a minute, which felt like 10. They cleared his throat and when he made his first cry I fell back and breathed too. They put him on my chest for just a moment so I could say hi, and then took him to the other side of the room to get him cared for and whisked away to the NICU.
I rested and stayed with my husband for about 5 minutes, then we didn't know what to do, so I went to shower. Jeremy had brought a swimsuit so he could get in and help me, and he did. The nurses were a little freaked out when they came in and I was dressing into a clean gown, said I wasn't supposed to do that because I could have fallen, but I had my husband to help me and I had not had any drugs or epidural, so I was fine. They brought me to my new room, and as soon as we put our stuff in the room, we were able to go see our baby in NICU. We could only touch him with our fingers (there were cords and wires everywhere). We talked to him and stroked his belly, face, and...wherever there wasn't a monitor of some kind (they were all over). I've since been in plenty of nurseries, had another child under "normal" circumstances, etc.....the NICU is seriously, seriously totally different. They are so....GOOD. Patient and understanding to the fact that I'm all over the place emotionally (I was scared, happy, sad, concerned, upset, then happy, sad, scared again in a space of 3 minutes). The bassinets are not cold at all--they are geared to babies who can't control their own body temperatures. They are under heat lamps, in heated little cribs. Volunteers did little touches like personalize their crib, give us handmade blankets, little pumpkin suits since Halloween was in a couple weeks, etc. They taught us everything they were doing and why at first. I stayed the full week insurance allows at the hospital so I was close. They strongly encouraged I pump (NICU babies can't really nurse for a myriad of reasons), were very supportive of that. I remember I was worried that it wasn't "enough" at first but they said I was doing great and it was "liquid gold". When I was discharged from the hospital, they let me stay in a little "room" off the side of the NICU with a little cot, TV, and bathroom so I could pump and all that during the day. I had to wait 1 day before I could actually hold him, and they set me up in the rocking chair and put him on my bare chest and covered him up with the robe to keep him warm. It was probably only a few minutes, I can't remember accurately. When I did have to leave, I was there all day anyway and at night I'd get up every 2 hours (with my cellphone alarm to wake me) so I could pump and stay used to the schedule. I'd call the nurse in the night and they'd tell me his vitals, or if he'd just eaten, or if he was awake, whatever. We couldn't chat long obviously because they have babies to tend to, but they'd give me the quick run down in about 1 minute and I would feel ok until the next feeding. 4am was the last time I called, because after 6am I'd be sending my husband to work and getting ready for my day at the hospital. Once he was home and a little bigger, and stronger, we ended up breastfeeding and all was well.
We did other things to bond. When I was pregnant there was this one song that he liked A LOT. I swore he was dancing a very specific rhythm to that one song. Jeremy didn't believe me so I said "FEEL!" and had him put his hand on my belly while we played one song (nothing), then a different song (nothing), then that song, and boom-boom-boom there's his dancing! So, I would sing that song to him and sure enough, his little legs would kick to that same rhythm that I recognized (even Jeremy was in awe at that--he recognized it from feeling it on his hand). We would pray over him, sing quietly, talk to him about "anything", keep one hand on him (or at least on his hand). They gave us a lovey to wear inside my gown to get my scent and would let him have that. And as he improved, he was able to lay on us (he liked my husband better because he's naturally very warm to touch). He was in NICU 14 days. Then I got to spend a night in a room that last night to make sure I could go the whole night without help. (I did fine, but it was a safety thing where they just wanted to be close and let us have a "practice night", and I was fine with that since I was alone at the time--everyone was out of town when they called and said he could go home).
He's awesome now. You would never know he was a preemie, or any of that other stuff by looking or talking to him. He's smart, confident, athletic, funny, and we've all bonded just fine. Do know that your NICU staff are very competent, they are not babysitters or regular nurses. And they have a real heart for babies. They know what is good for babies (it is not a mere new
"movement" that says it's important to have physical touch, breastmilk; the medical community recognizes this too). They are the ones that taught me to swaddle, to pump (he was too little, not strong enough, couldn't breath steadily enough, etc for nursing in the NICU). I ended up just pumping even at home. It meant I had to be up every hour and 30 minutes instead of 2 hours (because I pumped then fed instead of just feeding) but that's ok. I was just happy he was home safe and sound. But I STILL think about those nurses and seriously give thanks for them. An awesome group in there. With my other son, he scored the highest APGAR test the hospital was able to give, he was in amazing health, he stayed with me and breastfed. But different children, with different situations. I would suggest that it is good to have ideas and goals on what you'd like to happen but when it comes down to it, you need to be willing to put aside your ideas if the safety or health of your baby requires it. I'm very sure you know that already, but it'd be good to be prepared for that. I had all kinds of ideas in my head, I'm very much the planner and had everything (EVERYTHING) planned out. But for my first son, it just didn't happen. Those things go by the wayside to save his life; I was slightly upset since I had no warning and felt like things were out of my control (because they were). As someone else mentioned---you have the rest of his/her life to build emotional health. But physical is first and foremost right now. My second son, we got to follow my birthplan, and that was great. But I don't regret, in hindsight, anything that happened with my first son---the staff really did know what they were doing, and they did awesome. And I learned so much while I was there.

I also want to beg to differ with someone who insinuated that a baby doesn't get as much care if the parent isn't present. There was a little baby that was to the left of my son in NICU....adorable but tiny baby, with so much hair! Her family NEVER came in. (I was there from 7am to 9pm. My husband was there from 7pm to 10pm. Everyday. And while I was still "in" hospital, I would come in, in the middle of the night a few times....that baby never had any family except once in the 2 weeks I was there). We're supposed to mind our business and stuff. They had a little curtain pulled up between us. But I witnessed the nurses taking turns holding and loving on that baby, talking to her and resting their hands on her back before reswaddling her, more than just the technical stuff like changing a diaper or whatever, but also actually loving on her. It helped me know my son was in good hands when I was gone.

no matter what you want, the hospital staff will put your child's needs before that of anyone else. This is the reality of your situation, & you need to embrace that fact. It is an all important aspect of parenting - especially when dealing with special needs children, whether it be medical or other. You have to learn to trust in others.

My last child was my first child to come home with me. With 9 years between 1st & last....it was a long hard wait!

My oldest son was in the NICU for 5 days before coming home. He was 3 days old before we were allowed to hold him. 3 days before we were allowed to feed him. He was not breastfed, by my choice. The 3 days were medically necessary, because he was not stabilizing on his breathing when removed from the incubator. My needs/desires came after his medical needs, as it should be!

My daughter lived her short life in the NICU. In the 19 days of her life, I held her far too little. Each moment is a treasure of a memory. Each stroke of her arm, foot, leg...is special. I know that I was doing the best that all of us could do for her, & that is what is ultimately the best mother's sacrifice. I am a Peace with our time there.

& then we have our youngest! He came home with us at the 48 hour mark. On that 2 hour drive home, I was a mess & joyous....all at the same time. Finally, 9 years later, I had a newborn at home! But here's the kicker: as with many things in life, Murphy's Law kicked in! He was an independent baby from the start & did not like being held, swaddled, etc. He was totally content on his own....the brat child! :)

My wish for you: a safe & happy delivery. A staff which will provide for your child's every need.....before that of anyone else. And a rapid & speedy stay in the NICU....& then a joyous time at home. Peace to you.

Be assertive, be aware. Know your infant's issues as soon as you are able, insist on breastfeeding (if she is able to suckle) and pumping if not. Try to ensure they don't give her a rigid feeding schedule, newborns only need that if they are extremely emaciated or has issues with GI. Be polite, assertive and friendly with Nursing staff. If you get on their good side, they will reward you. Try to advocate baby rooming in with you if her diagnosis allows it. Personally, I'd ADAMANTLY refuse the Hep B vaccination and eye gel - unless you know you have Hep B or gonorrhea or syphilis... then you should have baby get them. The Hep B vaccine is not necessary and has shown to have very bad side effects with infant that are not perfectly healthy, and even with those who are.

I don't know if you have a lot options in terms of hospitals and where you can deliver at....but my first was in the NICU for 5 days and all I wished for was to be able to stay with him the whole time. Granted they said I could come at any time--but they did have a certain time frame where no visitors were allowed (this was generally a shift change with a lot of medical info being discussed so they asked no parents to be in the room). We were never asked to leave, but were told if any baby were to go into distress everyone would be asked to leave.

Every time I walked in someone whether the nurse or volunteer was hold/rocking him. They are the ones who helped me with all my nursing difficulties & in the grand schemes it was a really great experience (well as good as it could be without him being home with me).

with my 2nd pregnancy, I researched the hospitals around my local area to find one that would give me a more private one on one experience, just in case he needed NICU care too. A big chain hospital had just put in a brand new NICU wing that had private rooms--awesome. They also had a family sleep suite to use before transitioning home. this allowed the family to stay overnight care for the baby overnight, and the nurses/doctors are just on standby to relieve anxiety or help out if need be. I can only imagine how this would help alleviate so much anxiety when some babies still have to go home with oxygen/medication or monitoring of some type. I had no idea there were hospitals/NICU's set up like this. Thankfully my 2nd son didn't need the NICU--but I was happy to know it was there just in case, and thought I'd share just in case there is one like it in you area too.

the hospital tour and nursing staff will help you out a lot, wishing you and the LO all the best.

ETA: PLEASE let your child get the Hep vaccine. IT IS NECESSARY. It can be picked up anywhere, hospitals, shopping carts, on counters and sinks. It can live close to a year on surfaces. Please do not put your childs health at risk from the terror tactics of those who like children to be sick with un necessary diseases.

it is hard to respond without knowing what types of issues your baby has/will have and the reason for going to the NICU. I have three sons, a 3 1/2 year old and 19 month old twins. all were in the NICU for various reasons. My oldest was admitted when he was 5 days old and I was admitted to a different hospital 2 days later for blood clots and I did not get to see him for 6 days. We are very very close and had no issues with bonding once I was released and able to make visits to the hospital to see him. With my twins, I had a scheduled c-section so of course with the spinal block they dont let you go to the nursery until you are able to walk. one of my twins stopped breathing several times just after being born and was transported to the childrens hospital when he was just 3 hours old. i was not able to hold him at all before he left. the transport team came and had him in the transport incubator and brought him into my room to say goodbye. i was holding his tiny hand for about 5 seconds when he stopped breathing again and they had to take him. it was near blizzard weather out and I was frantic. But our childrens hospital is amazing here. as soon as he arrived on the unit his nurse called me to let me know he was there safe and that she would call me back with an update as soon as he was settled and they knew more. less than an hour later she called with a detailed explination of everything. every day I was still in the hospital his nurses would call throughout the day with updates. even though my husband was there and giving me info they still made sure to keep me in the loop. my other lil twin was taken down the next day for rapid breathing and feeding issues. I at least was able to hold him a few times and give him a bottle. (due to all of my boys being born with cleft lip and palate and the fact that i have never produced so much as even a drop of colostrum, i had to bottle feed my boys. just in case anyone wonders or thinks i am a terrible mother).
I worried so much about bonding but all of my boys are very healthy today, happy and energetic, 100% on line with development and we are very close and bonded. Please dont worry, just relax and make it through the rest of your term and love that little baby with all of your heart. You are still a wonderful mother if you arent able to keep her with you 100% of the time, it will not scar her or have any negative outcomes.