Rotten Kids

Quite often they are just oblivious.
Young kids are so "in their own heads" they just don't notice a lot. I think most children are still taught basic good manners, and the older they get, the more aware they are, and the better they are at using them :)

Well, I think you're probably right not many kids are forced to be polite now a-days.

But I will tell you this, my oldest is so shy the reason she wouldn't say thank you is because she would be afraid of you. Not giving her or any others an excuse but just letting you know how it is. I get on her about it all the time.

I am so grateful this year because my daughter's 2nd grade teacher is BIG on manners. Even though I thought I was doing a good job, I'm amazed at how much more my daughter uses them at home. Amazing. I asked my friend if she had noticed from her daughter and she didn't even notice. So I guess it depends on the kid.

Probably a bit of both--but you'll never know for certain, so I'd just give them all the benefit of the doubt that they forgot.

I think parents don't teach them. My kids will grab a door for someone when I forget my manners.

What hurts me though, is when one of my kids holds a door for someone and that person just hurumphs them. Aww thanks, now I get to explain to them why you were being mean when they were being nice. Then again I usually go with grumpy old men so I may not be any better. :-/

I think parents do so much for their kids today that kids think of adults as being there to serve them. Why would you appreciate having the door held open for you if you've never had to open it for yourself!

Many children feel entitled. I've worked for many years handing out Santa Bags are my community's Santa Day (free event where kids get to see Santa) handing out treat bags to each child. Many children grab the bag (or their parents will) with this attitude of entitlement. And many children will say thank you or their parents will correct them if they don't. It's the "entitled" ones who irritate me. No one owes you anything. I think its what you've been taught and what your expectations are. With that expectation, they will never appreciate anything.

Well first of all forgetting to say thank you doesn't make them rotten kids. Children, esp. younger children, just needs lots of reminders. They sometimes forget. Or as one poster said they could have shyness issues, I know I did when I was younger. Regardless, I don't think I'd go as far as to question their upbringing or view them as rotten.

Honestly, as many adults as I've held the door open for thru the years - they don't always say thank you either! And that even goes for the senior adult population!

Imo, I think parents are not teaching them to be polite forcefully enough. Sure they may tell them a million times to be polite, but it takes enforcement, and I always see parents "Letting" their kids not answer, interrupt, barge in front of people.

When my kids tried that stuff, they got clear explanations of WHAT they were doing and what would happen if they did it again. Even if I was unable to enforce then and there (in public), I DID do it after he fact as many times as it took and now they are all polite. They also have to ANSWER my husband and I respectfully, not just ignore. I know most of my friends do not do that. They call it kids being kids and make light of it and call it normal. It's a SAD trend. I can't count how many compliments we've had, and they almost make me sad, because it shouldn't be a big deal when a child uses commons manners. I always had to!

Once a ride operator at our local amusement park came up to me almost in tears to compliment my son (then three) because while she had been explaining his belt and to "hang on" he said, "Yes ma'am" and "thank you". She said she's worked in that park for seven years and had NEVER had a child call her ma'am.

Manners make people feel good. it's really sad people don't demand it from kids anymore. My kids get a lot out of being known as respectful and nice. It makes them feel good too. The only excuse to dodge the task is that it's difficult to teach.

Sure, that happens.
I work at my kids' school, and I see things like this all the time.
So what do I do?
I tell the kids, to say please and thank you. I "remind" them.
The Teachers do too.
And when kids DO say please and thank you, I always compliment them and I say it in a voice in which others can hear. Then, what happens next is... ALL the other kids, will start to say it too... because they want to be complimented. Too.

Based on the manners (or lack, thereof) of adults nowadays, it doesn't surprise me one bit, that kids have taken on the same habits.

"Kids being kids" means that, naturally, they are selfish / ego-centric. They are not naturally inclined to take in and consider everyone and everything else around them. This translates to rudeness in situations like what you're describing.

So, who's at fault? Well, based on this truth, social behaviors are learned, not the product of innate empathy and consideration. So yes, parents are at fault. Whether it's because they themselves have little consideration, they are not paying attention to their kids interactions with others, or that's just "not the hill they want to die on" when wrangling youngsters all day, I do not know, but it's a problem.

Some of these kids may eventually pick up on better manners as they observe their more polite peers, but many won't. This will cause problems for them in the future with teachers, employers, even in their personal relationships. Manners matter. They speak volumes about the kind of person you are. Thank you for your efforts in instilling them in your kids!

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maybe your daughter is 'rude' when you are not around. you won't know unless you're told. most kids are shy around strangers, adults other than their family members so i can see a lot of kids not saying thank you. also, remember, if they know you, to them you are A PARENT, and i bet your daughter doesn't say thank you mommy every time you open a door for her. it's a given. also, school doors are heavy, young children can't open them on their own. so i think you're being too critical of children in general

Well count me as one of THOSE parents that don't teach a lot of politeness. Where I am from being polite is just not a priority value, so I never learned politeness in American terms.
Many of my fellow landsmen and women are considered rude in the US - it's a stereotype that is somewhat fitting (take a guess where I may be from...). I do say thanks... but rarely please or excuse me - having grown up in a different culture it's just not automatic for me.
I guess thinking about it it's one of the things I hope she picks up from DH or school - since honestly, on my priority list of things I want her to know...it's nowhere near the top.
Terrible - maybe... but since I am not bothered by "rudeness" I can't say that I care.

when I do things for other children, and they don't thank me, I still smile and say "you're welcome"... kind of reminds them...

Some forget...but these days, most are not taught to be polite.

Next time one passes you when you're holding the door say "You're welcome!"

When they look at you, say nicely, "It's polite to say 'thank you' when someone holds the door for you. I thought maybe I didn't hear you."

Then you've made the point to one child, and hopefully they'll remember next time (embarrassment usually makes our memories work better).

We can't fix em all...but sometimes it does take a village to raise a child.

I just think you should model it for them, regardless of why they don't do it. After they've gone through the door, you loudly say "Thank you!" to them, and make them repeat it.

Well depending on the age they are not allowed to talk to strangers. Maybe at their school the people who work there and hold the door open do not want them talking? But I do not think not saying thank you woul make them rotten either.

I'm big into manners and even did a little sign language with my daighters before they could speak. Please and thank you were two of our biggies -even then!

I have one who does it all on her own/ alll the time and her twin -not so much! I need to remind her a lot more! We're also big into eye contact at our house. It's just pathetic how many young teens can't look an adult in the eye when speaking to them.

Everyone forgets to be polite sometimes but for the most part it's the parents fault when kids are rude. It takes a lot of reminding when kids are little to instill manners, once it's set you can pretty much trust they'll stick with it, mine certainly have.

As my children get older I have more and more opportunity to see how different parenting "styles" have played out. I assure you, ya get what ya give in the area of manners. The families I know who instilled good manners at and early age have children with good manners. The ones who didn't have rude kids. At this moment I cannot think of a single exception in our social circle.

It's kind of sad because when those kids become adults they will be missing a very important social skill that will harm their chances of being successful adults.

I think children learn by example in addition to being told . If they have parents who use "please" and "thank you," then they are receiving a lot of reinforcement for it. That said, kids are not rotten kids for not knowing otherwise or for overlooking it.

I am a stickler with manners for my kids and when they were younger they always said please, thank you, and excuse me. If I am there they still do it, and sometimes the 9 year old needs reminding and I will make her go back and say thank you etc, however I have noticed that when I am not around she does not do it.

When I have asked her she just says she forgets, but I have instilled it in them so I am not sure why she would forget. Even my 2 year old is better at it than the older one. I get frustrated with her sometimes over it as I am big on using manners.

From what I've seen, this generation does not have the manner from
generations before.
It seems there's a sense of entitlement.
It all belongs as home.

My son says please and thank you.
He has since age 2.
My SD was never taught to say please & thank you.

It's the parents' responsibility.

I think, as a nation, we should get back to that.

I'm glad they are to hear a poster say that she teaches that in her
preschool.

I think that opening a doopr at school is not something kids think of being polite about. Assuming it's an elementary school, teachers often hold doors open for their whole class, or it's a job assigned to a particular kid. Given the task of getting 300 kids in one set of doors when the morning bell rings, someone often holds the door for kids--or it's propped open--and honestly, with the bustle and hubbub, I doubt kids notice. I suppose it's rude, but I also don't think it's a sleight or indication that their parents didn't teach them; I bet they say thank you when the birthday kid gives them a treat.

With my son, it would definitely be shyness that would deter him from speaking to you. It is something we are working on all the time. I think that politeness could depend on many things and it is not a good idea to generalize. One of the reasons we actually chose my son's school was that we were so impressed with the students as we toured. We heard excuse me, please, thank you and saw actual eye contact!

I think children learn by example. If they have parents who use "please" and "thank you" then they learn to model their behavior.

I think many children do not see their parents being polite and therefore no one ever teaches them to it. Have you noticed how rude people have become? Our society has lost many of the pleasantries that I remember as a child. So many people are too busy, too hurried, and too wrapped up in themselves.

Here is a person I know who is doing this as a job to teach kids polite manners and saying thank you. He's written some kids books but also speaks in schools to promote saying 'thank you'. It's a lost thing anymore to say thank you. Kids aren't rotten but they have not been taught these days. His program is called 'power of please'.
http://www.pittstate.edu/press-media/detail.dot?id=30988