Reward Chart

I have never used a rewards chart - or rewards at all for that matter. It seems that they would be counter productive to the long term goal of having the child develop internal motivation for completing a task. I didn't want DS to learn the alphabet to get a sticker - I wanted him to learn it because learning is fun and he loves learning. He was sooo happy when he could do the whole alphabet - the satisfaction he had was worth so much more than a sticker or a toy.

No matter what, kids get desensitized to reward charts over time.
Then you have to mix things up or come up with other approaches.
And the bottom line is, consistency per what you want from them. And keeping parental 'expectations' age-appropriate... per what you are expecting from them.
You need to keep things, in line with their age and development.
If you 'expect' things that are more for an older child, then the child will not be able to fully ever, "attain" what you are expecting them to do.
Part of the success of reward charts, is that, the child CAN 'attain' the itemized items on it. Otherwise, if they never can attain it or accomplish it, it is self-defeating.
Whatever method you use, should encourage the child toward the 'goal'... and then they are proud of it. You giving verbal praise etc.

Also, it needs to incorporate the concepts of them 'working' toward a 'goal.
Here is a good article, although for older kids, but as an additional source of information for a parent:
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/

Just use 'incentives' that would work for your child. And keeping things age-appropriate.
A 3.5 year old for example, will NOT be able to clean an ENTIRE room. If you just tell the child "Clean your room..." It is a daunting thing for a young child. What exactly does "clean your room" constitute? A 3 year old, would not know all of that, like an adult. So, you can instead encourage him... to clean a certain section of the room or floor. And HELP him... along side him, so that he also 'learns' that behavior is also a 'team' effort, with the parent. And teaching him 'how' to help clean up. This also encourages the child.
Any child, needs examples. Of how to do something or not. So you Role-play with them and practice.
Also keeping in mind their communication ability as well.

I personally have not used reward charts.
But in a school classroom setting, Teachers do use it. With the class.
And in a school setting, per the Teacher, it gels the students.
But at home... often it is a whole different scenario. So other approaches need to be considered as well.

I like the thinking outside the box b/c my behavior management teacher always says that Reinforcement is always stronger than Punishment. Another mom stated that it's hard to give advice when we don't know what kind of behaviors you are trying to encourage. I think it can be very effective though. I did a sticker chart for my son on going poop and it was very helpful and of course eventually when the behavior became a regular thing we didn't have to reinforce it anymore. Good luck!

Hi Jane,

I know Super Nanny has some good reward charts that moms on here seem to be able to use effectively.

I never used a reward chart. They never seemed like that would be something that would work for my daughter and it always seemed like it would be way more work for ME to manage the chart and keep up with everything. So I just gave my daughter simple instructions, praised her if she did well, worked with her to correct any mistakes and made her feel like a valuable part of the family for doing her share. Her getting a gold star that eventually led to some toy that would just add clutter wasn't why I wanted her to pick up her room or brush her teeth or put away her dishes. I wanted her to do those things because in life we are responsible for ourselves and in a family we are responsible for helping. So the feeling of inclusiveness and doing a good job was the 'reward'. I'm a little weird about that stuff though - and probably not typical.

I'm not sure what all you are doing with the reward chart - are you talking about potty training, chores, pre-school homework????? that info might help mamas give you advice on what they have done.

Good Luck

I have found that reward charts work best if the goal is something measurable like clearing dishes. This is a YES or a NO. Be kind to sister is not measurable. Also, I would just pick one thing to work on and do a chart for that. Once the chart is full, chances are the child will clear her plate automatically because she "graduated" from that chart and got a reward and is now a very big girl doing that job and you are so proud of her for doing that every day without being reminded etc, etc, etc. Then you can move on to the chart for "listening to mommy the first time" chart - again, this is measurable. That chart might have to get more stickers because there are only 3 meals/day to clear plates, but a bazillion times per day to listen to mommy the first time. Another thing that might need to happen is consequences for NOT listening to mommy. These might be time outs, taking away a privilege, or something. But I would not take away the stickers from the chart. Good luck. it is a process!

They are as effective as you are diligent in following your own guidelines.

There is a free job chart on the Internet that you can set up that I liked. Think it's called my job chart. You can personalize the chores, change them over time, and set goals for rewards that you choose. I have a 4.5 yr old and a 3 yr old. Don't think my 3 yr old would have been motivated by this if his brother didn't provide a little competition. Yes, YOUR consistency is key. Also, I presented it to the boys as being grown up enough to EARN. The things they like when they want them. (ie. Can I watch tv? Well, do you have enough pts? No? Well what can you do to get more points?) hope this helps. :-)

A reward chart worked wonders for my son, but not so well for my daughter. In fact, my strong-willed daughter isn't motivated by much except herself. So, it depends on the individual child. I included general behaviors I wanted of my child...kind heart (sharing, being nice, etc.), gentle hands (which included all other body parts - no hitting, kicking, biting, etc.), nice words (no name calling or saying things like "your not my friend anymore"), and good behavior (following directions, no temper-tantrums, etc.). These 4 categories seemed to hit on all the character traits I wanted to instill in my children. And then they had a few chores they were responsible for...making bed, reading, & feeding pets...ot too many at this age.

maybe if you can make your child clean for a month you can take ur child somewhere very fun. and each week of acting good you could buy a toy for ur child.

we never did a reward chart - we did a chores list. my son is now 4 1/2, we did them at almost 3, and around 4. our problem was that mornings were a nightmare. so i made a 'list' (in pictures) of all the things we had to do each morning before we left for work/daycare. if he did all his "chores", he was allowed to watch tv, have a small snack (daycare provided breakfast), or play with toys.

The first time i drew, and the S. time i used clip art lol. i put pictures of a potty, clothes, and a toothbrush. i also used a fish the first time, because his job was to feed the fish, and this last time i did the dog because now that's his job. then i put check boxes out to the side of each picture. as he completed each task he got to mark the box. when they were all filled, the bottom had pictures of a TV, (toy) car, and some grapes (snack). he got to pick one.

when we did it at 3, i had to really get firm with him and many mornings he fought me tooth and nail (multiple timeouts, over and over). eventually he "got it" - i wasn't kidding, he DOES have to do these things every morning. i was surpised at how forcefully the kid could fight these simple tasks that i had always taken for granted "had" to be done. it was a hard battle.

around 4, he decided to act like a butt and challenge me on things again, so i started over with the chore list, and it didn't take but a couple of days that time before he was back with the program. it was really more a matter of enforcing the "no fun things until chores are done" rule, which i had started to slack a bit with. if i was more laid back and he got to watching tv or playing, before his "chores" were done, i found it was MUCH harder to get him to do them. much easier to hit the floor running when he gets out of bed, then when the "work" is done, reward him with his fun thing. that was his reward, when the work is done is time to play or whatever, i was never comfortable with buying him toys or giving him candy as a reward for things he should be doing anyway.

both times, it was really more of a tool to help him remember the things he needed to get done, rather than a "reward" chart. eventually he knew the list by heart and quit needing to mark it off, which he got bored with, anyway.

i think at 3 1/2 it's too early to expect them to go an entire day keeping a rewards chart in mind. "oh, better not have a tantrum, mom won't give me a star on my rewards chart!" is just too much to ask. kids are so minute-by-minute and here-and-now. long term things like that, to me don't seem to work so great. i really feel like the best way to teach good behavior is to A. model it, and B. correct correct correct - teaching them every moment, which is our job. yes, we have to repeat things 100 times. (or more!) kind of part of the parenting gig....but i hope you find something that works for you.