Returning to Work After Baby

I really feel for you--6 weeks is not long enough. I would have given up anything and everything, if necessary, to avoid leaving my baby at 6 weeks. I don't know why the United States cannot follow the lead of other countries when it comes to paid maternity leave. I was fortunate enough to stay home for 7 months. I have been back to work at a new job for 2 months and I think about my baby girl every second of the day when I am not with her, and even miss her when she goes to bed at night. But I have also grown to appreciate the break. At 9 months of age, she's high maintenance! I think I am a better mommy when I am with her because I get "adult" time at work. She doesn't seem to be offended by my choice--her face still lights up when I walk into the room! And I think a baby needs to learn to be comfortable around other people to have healthy normal social skills. I was worried that she would get too attached to the girls at her daycare, but I can see by her face and her reaction to me when I pick her up that there is no danger of that happening!

You need to get screened for Post-Partum Depression if you are literally can't stop crying and are having such a hard time. I had Post-Partum Depression and have known other people personally and professionally that have suffered with this. Don't walk. Run back to your OB doctor or your PCP, as I sense that you are not just missing time with your babies; it seems you are on the verge of despair. I am a Psychiatric Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has seen people end up in my facility because they did not know they were suffering from clinical depression.
Also what you are feeling is normal. It does get better. Please do not feel like you are doing something wrong. I noticed someone giving you advice implied that being a stay-at-home mom is superior to working. However, I could argue that is not the case. There are many reasons why you working and your babies being at daycare could be a good thing.
I believe that if you get your depression under control, your choices about working will become clearer. You will also stop being so hard on yourself. Good Luck! Know you are not alone in this. Many women struggle with these same issues.

This is something you need to remember, and always helps me when I am away from my 10 month old. "It takes a village to raise a child." You are very lucky to have a babysitter, I am assuming in your home or hers is where childcare takes place. This provides stability for the kids, instead of having them in daycare where caretakers change constantly. I just went back to school last week after being home with my little girl ever since she was born. I can say with complete certainty it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I cried in the bathroom between every class, and called to check on her 4 times! It's impossible not to feel guilty when you have to make this decision, but is it more important for the baby to have good health insurance and a steady household income? More than likely, yes! I tell myself when I start to cry from missing Ava that if I don't finish school, she will be held back from her dreams as well. Ou society really only seems to value what is best for business, unfortunately for doting new moms! I think that if you want to try to overcome these feelings you should take a little time for yourself and clear your head. Go and do something by yourself that you enjoy. That is what's best for you. When you are finished think about what is best for your family and live by that. I almost put my daughter in daycare earlier, but decided to make the most of my summer with her and stay home. You do not have that option, so you must make the best of you and baby's time when you can. At first it will be very hard, I am not looking forward to tomorrow because I will not be with mine. If you still don't feel better after a little time, I think you should reconsider and look at what else you can do to be with your kids, such as work from home.

I have been there. Hubby stayed at home with 2 year old and newborn while I had to back to work since I made the money and carried the benefits for our family. Is it right? No. Is it fair? Nope. I don't know how many times I wanted to scream I quit, but have to talk myself out of making foolish mistakes. It doesn't get any easier. If you need to vent - this is the best place to come to let out your frustrations.

I wish I could offer you some advice, but at the moment I am going through the same thing on a worse level. Imagine having to leave your beautiful 4 and 2 year old every Monday morning to travel out of state for work and being away from them for 3-4 days at a time. The job sucks, you want to cry everyday and you are already on anti-depression medication. You at least get to see your children everyday.

I understand where you are coming from. My daughter is now almost 3 months, and I returned to work after 7 weeks. I also provide the insurance for my family because my fiance is self employed. I know you have heard this a million times, but it does get easier. Coming back to work was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I am glad that I am back. It makes me enjoy and savor every moment I have with her, and realize how precious she really is. It also gives me something to look forward to every day when I am driving home. You are lucky you have a wonderful sitter, and just keep the goal that maybe someday you will be able to stay at home with your precious little girls.

I feel awful for you. It is miserable, you should not have to leave your baby right now. And, I hate to sound cliche, but your hormones are probably still totally out of whack! Does your job offer a longer maternity leave? IF you really are not ready, get your doctor to document that you are not ready to return to work yet. Go to Human resources and file for FMLA. This could give you up to 3 months I believe. And your job would still be held for you, you may have to pay more for your insurance, but if you do it this way they can't take anything away from you.
Remember, you always have options, and I wanted to cry just reading this!
Good Luck!

I am sorry to hear that you are in such despair about returning to work. I spent 3 years at home in the day time while working part time at night so that my child didn't have to go to childcare. We had little money but I would never change a thing. If there is any way you can afford to stay home then please try to quit your job. You can never get back the years that your child is little. My husband and I are both currently self employed and have to pay for health insurance out of pocket. THe coverage is not the greatest but that is because we chose an inexpensive, high deductible plan. It is only $250 a month for the three of us.
I pray that you will have the opportunity to spend your time at home with your babies. If there is any way it could work then it would be well worth it.

I'm sure it's hard. I have never had to leave a baby behind. But think of it this way, you are taking care of your child by getting the best care for her, and taking care of you family by working and providing the insurance that is needed. That's what you do. And you should be proud of that!

You are absolutely right, that is way too soon. But it also sounds like you may be dealing with a bit of post-partum depression. It's quite common, and nothing to feel ashamed of. The important thing is to get some help from people who have been there. And they might also have some good suggestions on what to do about your problem. Here is a great FREE resource:
Mother To Mother provides telephone support and encouragement to mothers (or mothers-to-be) who are depressed, free of charge. Their website addres is www.mothertomothersupport.org. This is from their website: "Telephone Support -- Free support by phone for women experiencing emotional difficulties during postpartum or pregnancy. Moms are paired with a trained phone volunteer that has experienced similar difficulties. Volunteers listen, encourage, and provide peer support. Volunteers are not trained counselors and therefore do not provide counseling or psychotherapy services. If you need additional help, a volunteer will provide resources. Please call ###-###-#### Ext. 4 for information on this service. *Please note that this is not a hotline number, but someone will return your call within 24 hours. All calls are confidential."

Hi M., I Know how you are feeling. I have a 4 month old little girl and i've delayed going back to work. I'm going back to work on monday and i don't know how i'm going to get through it. I need lots of encouragments too. She will be in the daycare that i'll be working at but i won't be able to see her. I was hoping to find a way to stay home with her but it didn't work out. We just can't make it without my income. I also know that it will get easier but I still don't know how i'm going to get over not being with her. I've been with her everyday for the past 4 months. I hope we can be a encouragement to each other.

A little about me:

Married 3 and a half years with my first child.