Retired Senior with ADD? Who Can't Get Anything Done

I agree with some of the other posts. Write things down. Create a schedule, that you have posted in a specific location. Each morning, 9:00 - 9:30, clean kitchen, MWF 9:30 - 10:00 vacuum. MW 11:00 - 11:15 sort mail. Remember to schedule a few things each day, and throughout the week depending on how often they need to be done.

It may seem simple, or silly, but it works. You've worked for many years, and each day of those years were planned. MTWHF - 8 - 5: go to work. Now you are retired and have no plan.

Also, label things, and store things in clear containers. This will help you remember where things go, and see where things are.
Good luck.
M.

Hi, B., Why not call an expert? "The Organizer" can help! Bonnie Blas: ###-###-####. Good luck! :) N. B.

The advice already given is absolutely on the mark! I would just add a suggestion learned from years of packing and moving as a military and airline wife: if you haven't used an item in the last year, and it isn't a valuable collector's item, or doesn't have sentimental value, GET RID OF IT. Put it in a pile for trash, donation, or yard sale, and then be sure to follow through, per the advice from the other ladies. This system has worked for me through 25 moves since 1980. Get that son to help you focus, and to shift those piles around!

I am ADD with an added bonus Bipolar. I take meds. for the Bipolar and it helps for my ADD to an extent. What I can suggest for you and it has helped me. Start with one project at a time. For example: Clean your kitchen. Don't do anything else until that is done, then move on to laundry.ect. Take your time and eventually you will start seeing that you are completing tasks. Now as far as organizational skills. I am still having problems with that. I try so hard but still haven't mastered that one. It doesn't so much help when I have two small children. They mess up I clean up. It does work when you work on one task at a time and eventually you will have a routine. You can do it just set your mind to it. Good Luck
S.

Dear B.,
Try making a to do list, even of regular and menial tasks, at the beginning of your day! I know this sounds simple (and it is), but it really works!
There was a study done of college students who were followed over 20 years. It was discovered that 60-80% of those who wrote down their goals achieved them while only
3-6% of those who only merely thought out their goals in their heads did so!
Honestly, you can call any daily project a goal for that day!
Hope this helps!
J. F.

Dearest B. ~

I hired a professional organizer to come into my home and help me. I just couldn't get or keep anything neat/organized. I would start to clean up, but then get distracted, totally overwhelmed and just give up. I was ashamed to have anyone come into my cluttered, messy home. When this wonderful woman came, she was nonjudgemental and supportive. She was also very observant and intuitive, and gently suggested that I might have ADD (I'm 52 yrs. old). No one had ever said that to me, and when I started to think about it, all the pieces of my life started to come together. My daughter has ADD and it all makes sense now. I'm on the road to understanding and learning how to handle my disability.

Let me share two of the most important things this woman taught me about how to get my house cleaned up:

1.) Have someone with you when you tackle a project, even if they just sit there to keep you focused on the task. You can ask their opinion about what to keep or throw away, and take their advice or not. You can solicite their help or not, but if you start to stray away from what you're doing, their main purpose is to get you back on tract. Sometimes my daughter will just sit on the couch or bed and read/do homework. If I start to leave the room, she says, "Get back here Mom!" Or if I start to get too obsessed with one particular thing, she tells me to move along.(She loves being able to tell ME what to do, for once!) It really helps to keep me focused.

2.) Never leave the room you are working on until it's done. Because people with ADD are so easily distracted, if you leave the room, you might never come back! If you have things that need to be taken to other rooms, set those things aside in piles in a corner, and when the room is finally straight, then - and only then - take the other things out of the room.

It has worked miracles for me. I used to tackle a job and get so off tract and distacted, then never finish what I was originally doing. Now I can actually complete a job, even if it is only one room. ONE ROOM AT A TIME. Kind of like the motto,"One day at a time"!

I wish you the best and good luck! ~ K.

Hi B.! I am a Mary Kay consultant too (new to the business though). As far as organization, I would say Im pretty well organized, sometimes to the extreme. What I do find helpful though, and I do this about twice a year, is taking one weekend and going through an entire room and getting rid of things... this is pretty hard, but I normally hold whatever the thing is and ask myself.. have I used this AT ALL in the past year? Could it be better used by someone else? Do I have more than one of these? Then I pretty much make myself put it into a box to give away or take to Goodwill. I only do one room a weekend so that I can focus and really clean the clutter, once the clutter is gone, I put things in the closet or in bins (if it is stuff that is important to me but I dont use - such as baby pics and all)and stack it neatly in the closet. As far as papers - Im terribly about bills and filing, so I usually pick one day, usually after I de-clutter, and put all the bills spread out around me on the floor.. then I group by type... Discover, Visa, insurance, etc.. then i take each group and put them in order by date and put them in a file. While I am doing this I shred the older copies so that I dont have a ton of statements that i dont need to keep... so with Discover I might take out the previous year (or back a couple or whatever) and then replace them with the new. Any cards I have paid off , I put in a Paid Off folder. Like I said, I really only tackle one thing at a time otherwise I would get overwhelmed, sometimes I can only handle one closet because I accumulate so much stuff. I think my biggest tip for de-cluttering though is to give some stuff away that you are willing to part with - even to your own children! They might like something that is in the house and its always nice to keep stuff in the family. Oh! Knick knacks... love these... I rotate them... only so many get displayed on my shelf and the rest go back in their boxes for another season, and boxes are stacked neatly in the closet. Anyways, hope this helps!

I am a complete organization junkie. I come from a packrat/hoarding household and I crave order. Recently, I borrowed a book-on-CD (I have an hour commute) of "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh. He's the guy from the TLC show, "Clean Sweep".

I've got to say it has changed my life. I used to buy lots of organizing bins and shift clutter from room to room. The book helped me break some of my emotional ties with stuff, and I've been able to get rid of lots of "things" that were really weighing me down. The book on CD was great, because he repeats the same things over and over so it gets drummed into you. Plus there are no fancy systems. He doesn't even start with the stuff at all. I can't recommend it enough. It's changed the way I live. I'm bringing all the lessons to my husband and 10-year-old and we're working our way through it. Mostly I just feel lighter and happier about my house, and that's a great feeling!

Email me if you want more info.

Hi, I spent many years just as you are describing, working all
day and into the night not accomplishing very much. We have many children and it was obvious that quite a few of them had ADHD, some were severe, and they were diagnosed as such. They were sent to a child psychiatrist and were perscribed Adderall which was a tremendous help to them. Several of the others have ADD which was more difficult to diagnose because they are not over active. They just misplaced everything, could not get their work done, went from thing to thing, etc.. just like I did. They were diagnosed with ADD and then the doctor said that usually one of the parents has this as well. That is when I was diagnosed. We were perscribed Adderall as well. I can't express to you the difference it has made in our lives.
I use to drive myself "crazy" trying to stay on task and accomplish things. When I tried medication I could focus; when I needed to change gears and help/do something else, I could return to what I had been doing, etc... There are also Alternative Therapies, such as homeopathy, which we have not tried but I hear other people say has worked for them.
Another thing that really helped me was to dejunk. I read 'Clutter's Last Stand'. about 20 years ago. He recommended gathering things that were out of place into 3 trash bags and labeling them categories --- Need, Might Need, Get Rid Of. He recommended to give the items away in the Get Rid Of bag right away. Keep the Might Need bag for 3 weeks or so and if you did not need any of it to then give that away as well. In the Need Bag if you did not need any of the things in those bags re-evaluate the items and pull out only what you really needed. He also recommended to not look in the first two categories of bags; to just give them away. I did this and ever since have been de-junking which has really helped.
Since you have children and grand children, often some of them are struggling with the same thing. I grew up feeling stupid but knew I really was not. To focus was just such a struggle. If your grand children are in school and having trouble with this, it will make them feel so much better about themselves if they get help. There are also techniques to help those with ADD/ADHD. We have taken classes, been in groups and read books to help ourselves organize. If you have any questions feel free to email me back. S. B.

You need to set small goals to tackle each day and only worry about accomplishing that for the day. Anything else that gets done is a bonus. Try setting up a reward system for accomplishing the goal and maybe even set a timer so you know you will have to stay focused in order to get it done and reap the reward. The reward could just be as simple as taking a walk, reading one article you have been putting off due to time constraints, etc. Remember to set small goals and don't let the rest of your tasks that are looming get you down.
If your home has become to much to tackle on your own then you may need to contact a professional organizer to help you out. There are several listed on this site in the mom owned listing.
Good luck B.
M. W

Hi B.,

Get you an appointment book and schedule your work. Do one thing at at time.

Good luck. D.

Check out Flylady.com. She sounds like just what you need. She gives awesome free advice and tips that really work for learning to get organized and free from clutter. She has really helped me. one babystep at a time is the key! She (and all the other "flybabies") give you the encouragement to get there! I recommend her website highly.

B.,
I worked with a girl who has a side business of helping to organize your life. Her name is Frankie Conrad, licensed and insured, her number is ###-###-#### or ###-###-####. See what you think.
H. S

As mentioned by others, FLYLADY can help in so many ways - only it's www.flylady.net (not com) She can help with clutter problems and developing habits for getting things. Best of all, it's FREE. (She does sell some products to help support the cost of her website, but they are not necessary.)

I know this may sound silly, but one thing that really helps me is to make a list. You'll feel a better sense of accomplishment once you can check things off! I love it when I make a list on Friday, and by Sunday morning, everything is checked off. Then I feel like I can relax and do what I enjoy.

Have you considered hiring someone to come and organize your house? Think about the reasons that you have so much clutter...what is it that you have? CLothes? Shoes? Knick-knacks? Do you think donating a lot of it would help? If you haven't used it in a year, throw it away! Or, recycle it. I think once you see piles of bags of things to donate/recycle/throw away, you'll feel another huge sense of accomplishment.

Good luck!

Hi Ms. B.! This is N.. I have so struggled with this same thing all my life! I even come from a disorganized/cluttered home. LOL My mom sometimes says it's just in my genes. But I have found a way to make it all work. AND WORK GOOD! All you have to have is a computer (obviously you can get to one) and create (if you do not already have one) a yahoo email account which is FREE.
Go to www.flylady.com and click on the get started button. (I don't remember what it says but you'll find it.) THIS SITE WAS MADE JUST FOR LADIES LIKE YOU AND ME! At first it may seem/feel weird but TRUST me it works!
I know that with your Mary Kay business and family living with you it can feel so overwhelming at times. But don't worry, there is no house that FlyLady can't help get cleaned! LOL
I'm doing it right now too. So if you'd like, email me anytime at ____@____.com and we can encourage each other.

Once I got into the decluttering stage, it really, really makes a ton of difference that you can see!

Let's talk soon, okay?!

N. =) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 7 & 2yrs old, married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs!

The humor part of my reply is this......... You are a retired Government Employee....... YOU ARE IN RETIREMENT........ Does it really matter if you have ADD or not? I know what having ADD does........ I have (Carlos Mencena moment here) Dee Dee Dee on top of Dee Dee Dee........>Crowd roars with laughter<

Serious moment here...... Take a little at a time, each task, organize your day in some sort of calendar. This calendar can be bought or made. Assign each day to no more than three tasks. That way you do not feel overwhelmed. Then ask your son and grandson to give you a hand in accomplishing these goals. That way they are also participating in your goals. Make sure that your son gives you the encouragement you need too. Once you have completed at least %80 of your goals for the week, take the weekend off or get out of the house. Or, you may even enjoy learning new things. I LOVE playing Sims 2. I have heard about it for years but, never played it. Now I am hooked. THAT is what I reward myself with.

Unfortunately, there is nothing more I can share with you with my own personal experience. But, I do hear your frustration in what is going on.

I hope this has helped in at least a small portion.

This is my first time on this site. From what I see, nobody has responded to your message...if somebody has, forgive me if I repeat what they say.

First of all, let me tell you that I was diagnosed with ADD about a year and a half ago...so I know where you are coming from...

I really hope that you have tried medication to treat the ADD, if not, you are spinning your wheels.

Medication is not the easy solution...there are side effects, emotional rollercoasters, ones that work for awhile then stop, there are ones that don't work, etc...but, once you find what works for you, you might find that the effects can be nothing short of a miracle...but it takes time.

My house is slowly becoming organized (what a thrill). I can look at a cluttered book shelf or closet and not feel daunted by the task. I can feel a sense of accomplishment by spending a half an hour in my basement and bam, I have a pile of garbage to toss, I placed all the craft paint in one container, the tape in another, the fabric in another. Packing takes me a 10th of the time it used to. I don't constantly lose my keys and credit cards, I'm recognizing my limitations. I'm feeling a lot more intelligent and in control.

Last night, as I was going through all the stuff in my garage and thinking what a shame it was that I wasn't diagnosed earilier. All the angst I could have spared myself and my husband had I known.

The good news is that now I do know, now I'm on medication, and now all that junk is being organized or tossed without the huge cloud of anxiety.

Good luck, B.!
And remember, being unorganized does not make you a bad person. It just makes you an unorganized person...and in the scope of things, that's not so aweful.

Jenn

flylady.com is your friend.
:) khairete
S.