Relationships - Louisville,KY

You feel betrayed because you have been betrayed. I H. he is worth the heartache and effort. What he is feeling is chemical-and it doesn't last. All the best.

Dear God, Are you two a praying husband and wife? How long have you been married? Have you told him what your needs are? Have you asked him what his needs are? Have you asked him does he love his family enough to try and keep trying? Are you willing to do the same? Have you told him you love him still? Do you?

People can be so foolish and selfish....I don't blame you for feeling betrayed and hurt. Do you suppose he's feeling neglected or some of his own feelings that he has not expressed?

If he or you can not feel for each other at this time....please ask yourselves, what are you both willing to do for your boys?

Prayers and blessings to your family.

I would feel betrayed too.

:(( Protect your assets. See a lawyer without telling him.
You do not have to decide anything, but you have to look at for YOU because he is not. Start hiding money in a seperate account or a bank box.

He MUST cut off ALL contact with the woman or he can't work on the marriage. No exceptions. No excuses.

I could not say it better then Toni V :). Such wonderful advice!!

I COMPLETELY agree with Toni V!
It also reminds me of "Fireproof" Have you seen that movie? Great movie. If you have not seen it maybe the two of you should watch it. It is a Christian movie. Very touching and moving. There is also a book the two of you can look at "The Love Dare" its the book that the husband's Father gives to him in the movie. Its great, really helps you reconnect.
Best of luck to you and your family!

two words GET OUT run as fast as u can,u and ur boys do not deserve this,i to was in a bad marriage,and stayed to long it isnt healthy for the kids they absorb all the pain u r felling,its better to just kick him to the curb,there r good men out there i found one and he treats me like gold, its sounds like the counseling isnt working frankly i would not even waste time on that,once they cheat thats pretty much crosses all the lines i feel counseling is just an excuse for them to justify there cheating making u feel well im going to counseling doesnt this prove im sorry,dont fall for it once a cheater always a cheater good luck ......................................

Have you tried counseling? I agree with Toni V.'s questions. I suggest that a counselor will help both of you learn how to express your needs and feelings.

Of course you're hurt and defensive. Sounds like he's putting the blame on you. At the least, you feel that he's not putting your needs as high as his. I suggest that you need a counselor to help you both cut through the pain and deal with your feelings so that you can move forward.

You have to do what is in your heart! Me personally it is tuff raising kids alone, but you need to talk to a lawyer and be serious about leaving him and see how long he loves that other woman..not long when he finds out he will loose 1/2 of everything he owns and only gets to see his kids every other weekend! You deserve much better...they say God wont give us more than we can handle, but sometimes you wonder how much you can take...take care of number 1 - you!!

Check out this website: www.survivinginfidelity.com
There are some amazing people there & a ton of really helpful information & advice on how to deal with being a betrayed spouse. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck.

ETA--one of the best things I've learned there is that BOTH spouses are 50% responsible for the marital issues, but the ' wayward spouse' is 100% responsible for the affair. Do not accept ANY blame for his wrong-doing.

I would bring up in counseling that you feel you are taking 2 steps forward and 10 back, that he always puts his needs first, that you feel betrayed...these are all justifiable problems to be sorted out and hopefully your therapist can shed some light on constructive ways to do this.

{HUGS}