Refuses to Let Nanny Feed Her

Hi J.,

Your daughter is very smart: she figured there is a change coming in her life. You are going back to work, and she does not like it!
What does the nanny say? Is she confident? Does she have such experiences? Can she reassure you she will handle it? If she does - let her take charge. Go to work, and the nanny will take care of your child. Of course your child need to be consoled. She is sad you are not going to be with her in the same way she is used to. She can not say it, so she acts it. I am sure it is hard on you as well, and that you need a way to express your feelings, too. This is all a normal part of separation when going back to work.
It is also possible your nanny is young and inexperienced, and cannot reassure you. You need to decide if you can train her, or you need another nanny.

You are going to be ok!

D. Orr
daliacoachesparents.com

YIKES! She has trained you all! I suggest that no one pull out a bottle until you and dad have left the building. Tell the nanny to be firm but not yell, if she refuses the bottle have the nanny go back to doing something else. After a while she will realize she is NOT the boss any more. =) Ah...just wait until she is a teen and wants to wear make-up, what a joy! LOL!

Hello J.: As a mother of 5, and right now a very tired Grandmother of several sweethearts, I want to promise you that your child won't starve-- just do all that is possible to make you a worried heap of nerves.
My daughter, was a Nanny to several families over the years. She says that what happens is that once the child figures it is real you are gone and the only one left is the Nanny the child will eat, cuddle, and sing-- until they hear you pull up and then they will yell the house down so tha t you will feel bad. good luck,NanaG

I was freaked out by the same thing and I found that a hungry baby will eat eventually and a few days into work and her being home with the nanny she will do it... so don't worry too much she won't starve herself for long... also she might nurse more at night at first, or take an extra bottle or whatever

I'm with Helen on this one. Why on earth would your baby take a bottle from someone else when she can cry and carry on and you will come feed her? You are her preferred caregiver and she would rather you not leave her for a second, thank you very much! You're going to have to leave the building and stay gone if you want this bottle thing to work. I found that it helped to have the nanny stand near the front door and wave goodbye to me - she let my daughter see that I was getting into the car and driving away. When my daughter realized that mommy had really left, she had no problems taking the bottle from our nanny after a little initial fussing. If your nanny is a good nanny, she'll work it out once you're gone.

When my daughter was 10 weeks old, I was rushed to the hospital. She went 12 hours before she relented and took a bottle. The next day, I was still gone, but she had no trouble eating from the bottle after that. She did not starve. Leave the house completely for a couple of hours (or all day) she will eat when she is the first to give up, not you.

Two other suggestions I would try is to have the nanny and your Mom feed her in a different location or even see if she can start feeding her standing then once she starts eating then sit down. Breaking the onset of signals could help. My daughter was always breastfed until we got closer to our wedding date and we needed her to take a bottle. She did skip a feeding and maybe went longer than just that one but I held firm and would just put her down or we would do something else. Focusing solely on that won't help if she's being that stubborn. The other thing I would suggest is not to hold her in the breastfeeding position. They know what the real deal is and if they're not getting it then they'll let you know! =) Just try different things and don't give up. She will also sense the frustration.
Best Wishes!