Recovery Advice

Hi, I am also having surgery in a few weeks to repair damage from the birth of my last baby (I have an 8 year old and a 14 month old). I am dealing with this by arranging for plenty of help. In addition to my husband (a SAHD), my sister-in-law is flying in to help for the first couple of weeks. My husband is great, but he gets tired and I want to make sure there is someone who could give him breaks and could pick up, hold, carry, and otherwise take care of the baby while I won't be allowed to. This also gives me another woman in the house who can relate to my recovery.... We also have friends who will be coming by and helping as needed (like taking our older child to her after-school activities), plus I have a trusted babysitter on stand-by. It's still a couple of weeks out, but I'm confident that getting plenty of good help is key to both your (our?) recovery and the well-being of the kids. Good luck!!!

J.,

I stayed home for 17 years with our girls. This is what i found kept me sane thru my hospital stays and other illnesses.

1. Learn to eat healthy - if you want a faster recovery, don't eat/drink the following: soy products (that includes most fast food hamburgers)- soy messes with your hormones and slows the healing process. The same goes for diet pop. Switch from orange juice to organic apple juice and drink lots of chamomile and peppermint tea.

2. Talk to your friends and family ahead of time so that they can help with the wash and cooking. You may want to freeze meals ahead of time. If you think you can get up to make Mac and cheese the first few days you are home, you can't. It will take too much out of you. Save your strength for your babies.

3. Plan ahead - you will have to stay in bed the first couple of days. Bring fun things into your room so that you can cuddle your kids without exerting yourself.

4. Learn to meditate - All meditation is breathing and relaxing. You can download guided meditations that will help you imagine a quick and easy surgery. They also help when you are stressed - meditation can help you relax.

5. Since i don't know where you live, i don't know what alternative health practitioners are in your area. I know i worked with a woman who uses Healing Touch. That helped me focus before, during and after. My doctor was amazed at how fast my recovery time was. And, that was me.

A.

Hi J.,
I had 10 or so surgeries, starting when mine were 1 & 3, and the only thing that helped me was I had to have help. Do you have friends or family that could keep your kids for a little while, or stay with you, so you can have a chance to heal? I was extremely fortunate, and did. People from my church brought over meals and helped with cleaning. It was such a blessing. It's hard to ask for help, but it is necessary, especially in this circumstance. My husband is a paramedic, so I was a single mom most of the time. He helped when he could, but good friends were what saved me. I know it was all hard on my kids, but they are 15 & 17 now, are well adjusted and doing just fine. Hope this helps!
Blessings,
M. W.
PS I just read another post of another mom who had a spinal. Some of the hardest part of recovery is getting the general anesthesia out of your system. Her post reminded me that I had an epidural for one of my surgeries and my recovery was WAY faster. If this is an option for you, my advise is to go for it. Good Luck!

I had to have a D and C in January. I have 6 children ranging in ages from 12 to now 3 months. (actually our youngest children are the same age) For my recovering was a little easier because I had a spinal for the surgery, but I still had help. I think that is the key, find someone to come into your home and help with the kids and housework. You have to be a little flexible with the things that get done and those that don't...and if they don't get done the exact way you would then you have to learn to let that go too, because at least it was done. I found that if I would sit in one spot and let the children come to me I could still be with them, but not have to stress myself too much. But the big key is the help, ask your mom, mother in law, friend someone to come and help you. This is probably the only way that you are going to have a chance to recover and not have more problems. It also might seem like you are neglecting the children in a way, but it is only for a short time, in the long run they won't remember and you'll be a better mom for it. Good luck.

take care of yourself first...if that means hiring a house cleaner for a while or having a friend over to help you out with that kind of stuff...choose to look at a list of things that you could hire out or get help with.. learn to ask for help.. you can return the favor Im sure 10 times over at a later date..to another mother or neighbor...nanny L.

Call in for help. Never be afaid to ask for help. Even someone doing the dishes or getting groceries is a help. I had surgery with 3 small kids. I got crafts together ( precut paper,all supplies needed in a zip bag), get meals in the freezer or stock up on the easy stuff. Get a couple of new toys to pull out when things are getting rough. Get the newest movie and some books to share on the couch. You may even have to get them out of the house a few hours here and there, so line up help with that.

Good luck and happy healing!

Jennifer,
I've never had surgery after having kids, but here are a few suggestions: Make some meals to put in your freezer and/or ask your church if some people can bring meals over for you. Also, ask mom, mom-in-law, sisters, friends, etc., or, if you are financially able, a nanny to help out for a little bit.

I hope this helps a little, and that you recover quickly! God bless!

M.

I had to have surgery when my son was about 18 months old. I am single mom on top of that. The best advice is to get someone to help you out. I was able to stay with my parents for a couple of days until I was recovered enough to take care of myself and my son. I had another surgery later on and a friend stayed with me for the day while I recovered from the anesthesia. Also, you need to remember to follow your doctors advice for your recovery for the full amount of time, even though you will still feel the need to cut short your recovery time so that you can care for your kids the way you did before surgery. If you don't follow the doctors instructions, you may have to go in for more surgery or be put on more severe restrictions. Your kids will be fine and won't hold it against you that you took care of yourself during your recovery time. They are young enough that they won't remember this 6 months from now (for your two year old). My son is now five and has no idea that I had surgery and had to let my parents care for him for a day or so.

I don't know if you have this resource, but I was lucky to have my mom & sister nearby. I had surgery when my daughter was 3 months old and I wasn't able to pick her up for 7 days. My hubby would put her in bed with me before he left in the am, my mom would come by a little later and then she and my sister took turns staying with us during the day. Whatever your resources, use them! Better to treat yourself kindly for a fast recovery than trying to be "super-woman" and prolonging your time out of commission. Good luck!

I had my wisdom teeth out when DS was 17 months old. My in-laws all told me it was no big deal, that they had theirs out and were out doing whatever a few hours later.
They didn't tell me that their wisdom teeth were already out and were just pulled!
All 4 of mine were below the gum and facing straight forward. The surgeon said he'd never had as hard of a time getting anyone's teeth out. He said he had to climb up on the chair and pull with his whole body. And then there was some nerve damage.
I was miserable. I slept a lot, which is the best way to recover. The only thing for it was to have MIL take care of both of us.
We went to her house in the morning and my husband picked us up after work for 3 days, I think. I may have even spent the night.

I also had a c-section with my 2nd son. The older was 2, and I absolutely could not handle him. He was missing Mommy, so I let him climb on my bed for a few minutes. He didn't understand why he couldn't jump on me, and kicked me several times in the incision. I couldn't wait until someone came to rescue me!

I just don't think that you should try to go it on your own unless there is absolutely no one who can help you! Appeal to family, to friends, to church members. Even if someone can only come over for an hour to play with your kids and let you rest. Even if you end up with 20 people coming in for just an hour each. Find help!

I haven't had surgery but I did severely break my wrist when my baby was 6 weeks old. I also have 3 other children. My advice would be first to accept any help offered. I had someone come every morning just to get everyone dressed and fix my hair. Then I usually had someone here to clean and help out most of the day (I am lucky my mom lives close and is retired). So I tried to let other people do the work and I tried to rest and spend time with my kids reading or watching TV or playing board games. It was tricky to take care of the baby but I continued to nurse him and hold him as much as possible. Good luck, I hope all goes well.

J., good luck with the surgery. I needed surgery when my boys were 1 and 4 yr old. I was not able to lift the 1 yr old due to restrictions after the surgery. This was very difficult as I therefore could not change diapers, get him ready for bed, get him into the high chair, pull him into my lap to read books, etc. My older boy just didn't understand why I couldn't run and play with him either. So, I needed help. Help with the kids and help with me! Depending on your surgery, you may need help as well. Find out from your doctor details of what you will/won't be able to do and for how long. Then ask for help for the things you won't be able to do. Your SO, friends, neighbors, etc. will be happy to help -- they just will need to know what you will need/want help with. I was lucky in that my parents were able to come visit for about a week after my surgery to help with me and the kids (especially as my DH worked evenings), and then I asked a neighbor to help with bedtimes after my parents went back home.

J.

Hi J.! I had gall bladder surgery when my girls were 3 weeks old. I had my first attack the night before my parents were going to leave. We flew my dad back and my mom stayed 2 weeks longer. I had to wait to have my surgery done because my gall bladder was very infected and I had to be on IV antibiotics. Then I had a four day hospital stay. It wasn't easy - especially being home afterwards. My husband made many trips to and from the hospital for my milk and I had a very good friend who donated some breastmilk to me. My girls were not even at their due date yet and I just wasn't comfortable using formula so we worked hard to make it all work. Ask for help and accept all the help that is offered! I've never had surgery before but I'm guessing it isn't much different from a mom who is recovering from a c-section (except that your baby won't be sleeping quite as much as a newborn which makes it a little harder). Getting up and down was difficult as was positioning for breastfeeding. If you are breastfeeding, please know that they can be careful with all the meds they give you so your milk won't be interrupted. I knew my milk was good but I mixed it with my friend's milk so that they weren't getting a full dose of whatever medication got into my milk and so that if the taste was different, it wouldn't throw them off. I also had a four year old son at the time. Your older little one may need some easy to clean up activities! Good luck to you and I'm wishing for many people near you to be good to you and volunteer!!! -J.

The best way to recover from any surgery is to have help. Significant others are good, siblings are good. Parents and really good friends are good. I would highly recommend getting one of the above to hang out with you all day and help with the "heavy lifting" when it comes to the kids. You can read to them, watch PBS kids with them, play video games with them (or for them) but you can't really get down and play, lift and carry, or sometimes even prepare food for them. My vote is for another set of hands and legs!

Get help. I've had two C-sections, one of which got infected. Remember to rest like the doctor recommends. I do better if I don't take the pain meds since if I'm feeling good I tend to do what I feel like -- too much. Your kids can still crawl into your lap, or be placed there, to snuggle as much as you want, so they should feel loved. I read and snuggled a lot. Do cook ahead or get frozen meals. GL. I hope it all goes well.

Dear Jennifer, three times i have had to undergo surgery while my kids were real little, two of those times i was away from family or friends, so i had no help, i have been a single mom for ten years, so the best advice i can give you is to start getting prepared now, double every meal you make over the next few weeks and freeze it. soups freeze real well. and easy to heat up.

also stock up on sprite and juices for when your tummy is feeling yucky, quite common after surgery, soda crackers too. easy things that you like and that are mild on a belly. often pain meds need to be taken with some little bit of food or you could experience alot of vomiting. so it is really helpful to have those things on hand cause when it hits there is no time for a run to the store no matter how close. also even though your child is only two tell him that mom is going to have surgery and that you wont feel your best and tell him he gets to be your helper, he can get you tissues, bring you some crackers, make him feel like he is helping you to get better, and have some of his favorite books and videos at your bedside, there will be times you might feel like reading to him and times when you dont, but you will have them there if you feel up to it. also give him some crayons and ask him to make get well mommy pictures, you will get tons of them. kids love to take care of their mommy's. just gotta get prepared and creattive about ways to keep them occupied.
you will do great. Blessings and all the best, D.