Recomendations on Anti Depressant

I too have a very strong willed 3 year old daughter, and I have found that Lexapro has helped me deal with the stress. Also, have you read Dr. James Dobsons Strong Willed Child books? Those have helped me too. Good luck!

Get some Shaklee Stress Relief! OH MY GAWD...it works wonders with me and my 8 year old ADHD'er!

http://www.wellnessiseasy.com and type in Stress Relief!

T. :)

I take Lexapro & it works wonders. I have a very strong 7 year old, so I may have some idea of what you're going through. The problem I've found though, is that often doctors tend to give samples of whatever new drug has come out, instead of just upping the dosage of something that works. I went off my Lexapro and onto 6 different kinds before I finally decided to go to a therapist to get the dosage of what had always worked to begin with. Good luck!

hello K.,
I can identify in some ways. I am a custodial grandmother of six and seven year old boys - one of whom is EXTREMELY intense...and am also menopausal (just turned 53 today). I felt so bad for the yelling that I would find myself doing. My GYN gave me a prescription for Lexapro for a year and it was a huge help. It just took the edge off my emotions where I was able to respond to the boys (and everything else) instead of reacting. I felt more calm and able to cope with all of the things that life would give me dady to day. It didn't impair my functioning in any way and it is worth a try for you.
bonniebeth

Hi K.,

My thoughts first went to your son. I'd check into counseling for him because I was thinking he may have oppositional defiant disorder(ODD). I am NOT an expert in this area but it was just my first thought. A trained counselor would know for sure and if he is ODD; and if he doesn't have it that is great but at the same time you could talk with a trained professional who could help you in dealing with your strong willed child. Also, the counselor would be able to suggest a medication for you or help in others ways that you may not need the meds. Seeking help from a counselor could be a win - win situation all around.

Best of luck!

I was reading some suggestions below and someone mentioned to ask him why he does what he does. My son is ADHD and prior to his diagnosis we would repeatedly ask him that very question. He would look right at us, many a time teary eyed, and just say "I don't know". Since then we have found out from his counselor not to ask that question because with true AD/HD children they honestly don't know. They are so impulsive that they don't know why they do what they do. This may be the fact with strong willed or ODD children too. That I can't say for sure but just thought I'd share that with you.

I take cymbalta and it seems to take the edge off a little. I too am an older mom (46) with two grown children and a 10 year old and 4 year old, and am also going through menapause and I am a single mom again. It is tuff and trying.But they really do grow up fast, of course you and I will be in a nursing home before the last one leaves home. Ha!

after me daughter was born (she's almost 3 now) i was put on effexor. it seemed to really help me. i was on something before that was different...lexapro....but the effexors started working much quicker and i noticed a change in my mood and became more tolerant with my kids alot sooner. i highly recommend effexor to anybody!

Don't know if I have any advice for you. I was on Wellbutrin and about 4 other kinds. The last one was Cymbalta. That was the worst one ever. That one did me in. I will not take anti-depressant again because of the withdrew I went thought with Cymbalta. At the same time I don't look down on any one who want to take anti-depressant. I have been there and know they help. Now that I am drug free. I feel so much better. I try to stay busy. I go to the gym at least 4 to 5 times a week. That help with the depressing for me, and I took up knitting. You sound like you need to find any outlet for your son and for you. Maybe put him on something.. (just kidding)

I know I am not much help.. You sound like you have a lot on your plate. Good luck.

K.,

I take Zoloft, not for depression, but for anxiety. I have a three year old and a 16 month old---I totally understand what you are going through. I took it for about 4 months when I returned to work after my first. I have been back on it now for about 4 months---I don't want to skip a dose. I am a much happier, less stress-ful person!

I suffer from anxiety and take effexor. You also might talk with your doctor about a hormone replacement. If you are starting menopause, it can make you go off and feel stressed out all of the time. Good luck...
G. F.

Ask your doctor is Xanax 1 mg will help you.

Sometimes our bodies get immune to what they are used to getting, therefore it no longer works for us.

Time outs and yelling he is probably used to. Take away something that matters to him, games, TV time. Give him something to read or have him write so many times what he won't do or try something different. Ask him to tell you why he does what he do.

You may want to have him checked out. He may have
a hyperactivity disorder and with school about to start, you want his attention span to increase.

Hope this helps.

Been there, done that.

I am your age with children and found myself in the same situation several years ago at 43. Doctor prescribed Celexa for me and it has worked great. I realize everyones body is different but I have been taking this for several years now with no problems.

I have tried all sorts of antidepressants for depression and migrain syndrome. The last one was what you were taking. I am now taking the homeopathic approach and it is working great. I take vitamin B complex liquid that I get from a good health food store. Whole Foods also carries it if you should have one in your area. I now take vitamin A,B,C,D and E religiously and feel better than I have in years. There is a book by Dr. Christian Northrup I use and I also use books written by Dr. Memmot Oz. I am not sure on the spelling of these names but, I'm close. Hope this helps.

Judy D

Get off the Wellbutrin and don't replace it with any other drug. Your feelings are there for a reason. As uncomfortable as they might be, they help to motivate and direct your response to issues that need dealing with.

As for books, check out Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey. She gives incredible insights and tips for most major discipline issues and general approach for the rest.

Good luck!
L.

Yep. Instead of taking strong drugs that will make you sleepy, try a diet change. Try a water soluable vitamin supplement with all of the B vitamins. Also go to the grocery store and get bakers, bitter sweet chocolate. Eat a peice or two a day.

Also add black berry leaf tea to help with the mental pause..it'll help with the stress of the change.

Also add a comprehensive adaptogen (not my word, look at it in wiki or google) preperation like Ionix Supreme, or Mona Vie or check with a pharmacist. Little things like this may seem weird or expensive, but how much more expensive is Xanex?
or Cymbalta, or any of these other drugs..yuch.

BTW, are you having problems with weight gain right now?
Luck to you,
R.

Well I was on antidepressants for along time too until I got a new psychiatrist. After our first meeting and her reviewing my chart we agreed that my "depression" stemmed from anxiety. There is an anti-anxiety med on the market call Buspiron (sp?). I am on it now and it is remarkable. No side affects to speak of and I slowly weaned off the antidepressant and am doing so much better. Talk to your doc about that option.

I don't know much for the anti-depressant thing, but, on the not murdering strong-willed children, I am working on becoming an expert ;) My girl, who is also six, is headstrong, determined, independently-minded, and full of her own opinions. These are traits I admire in adults, but DANG! it's hard to raise a child with those things. I don't want to, figuratively speaking, beat it out of her, but it can get SOOOOOOOO frustrating to try and parent someone like that (well, like me, I guess LOL).

There are two books that have really helped are "You Can't Make Me (but I Can be Persuaded) by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias and "How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen so Your Kids Will Talk" by authors I can't remember right now. I loved the first one, since it helped me understand myself as well as my daughter, and the second I loved because it's a workbook in addition to a readable book. It has real scenarios to think through, work through and look at, not to mention having several techniques to try and to learn to adapt to your own children.

One thing that works better with my daughter is, instead of giving direct commands, give general directions. For example, instead of "A, brush your teeth" I'll say, "A, it's time to brush teeth." It gives the illusion of her having a choice. When told to do something, she sets her jaw and flatly refuses. However, when there's something that "should" be done, she's more likely to do it. It's not foolproof, but it's something that sometimes helps.

I've also found, with all three of my kids that, the worse they get, the more attention they need. So I try to find ways to give myself a break that also give the children my attention. I'll announce an evening off, order pizza and watch a movie. Or I'll pick a book I like, and we'll read together for an hour or two. Sometimes, I'll just plop on the couch with one of them and just let them rattle at me. It's a chance for me to remind myself NOT to feel guilty for "not doing anything." Because, really, what's more important than nurturing the next generation, especially when it's someone we love so much.

The other option, of course, is putting an ad on ebay for "animatronic, talking dolls." LOL Just kidding, of course, but it does remind me not to take the stress too seriously. It's SO FREAKIN' TOUGH to parent some days. Everyone goes through it, and those that say they don't are either drinking too much of plastic.

Hang in there. These days are stressful, but they'll pass. Reaching out for help shows just how much of a good mom you are. You're doing it right. Promise :)

This really works with strong willed children:

Give them choices (as many as you can!)

Example: If you child asks for a drink...you say:
Would you like the red cup or the blue one?
Would you like juice or milk?
Would you like a lid or a straw?
Would you like to drink it in the kitchen or the dining room?

The key is to give one choice after another, each having 2 choices (either of which you are happy with). The reason this works is that strong willed children need to feel in control of themselves and when they are being told what to do, they rebel because they want to have the say. By giving them choices they feel more in control. Now at first, they may try to choose something that wasn't included in your question....you HAVE to choose for them (one of the items you presented in your question). They will quickly learn that in order to have control, they must choose...they will get tired of having you choose for them real quick (in fact they already don't like it!).

This method works with discipline too...
When they do something to receive discipline, you say:

That behaviour is not acceptable in our home (church, car, etc.) would you like to have your 5 minute time out in the dining room chair or on your bed? If they refuse to choose, then you add 5 minutes to the time out and repeat the question, you keep adding until they choose. They will quickly learn that you are going to keep adding time and that they better choose quick (don't allow them to choose 10 minutes if you have already moved to 15 minutes though). This will teach them that they next time they should choose much earlier so that the time is different. You could even present that they have time out or a spanking (or extra chore or anything else that is acceptable discipline in your family).

I hope you find as much success in this method as I did. My daughter who was strong willed is deaf and is now 17 and a wonderful young lady. This method made all the difference in my sanity when she was young.

Good luck!

You are starting out in the right direction by seeing your doctor. I am currently on Wellbutrin myself and haven't had any problems. Depending how long you have been on the medication, it may not be as effective. Before I was put on Wellbutrin, I was on Effexor. I liked effexor but switched because of the side effects (sex drive was gone). It might be something you want to consider. Tell you doctor your delimna and I am sure he or she will be able to guide you in the right direction. Good luck to you!

K.
My son has been on Wellbutrin for several years and it works great for one side of the brain and he takes zoloft for the other side. The combination works great. Depression comes in many forms, rather it be through anger or stress. One leads to the other. There are many good antidepressants. Let your doctor recommend another one if you feel like Wellbutrin is not working.

Put some strong discipline and consequences in place for your son. Apply the consequences and be firm. Let him know that you are the boss, not him. I have a strong willed grandson, I am 60, and he knows who the boss is and who makes the decisions.

Good Luck
Give lots of love, have patience, and be the BOSS
S. Miller

I also went through menopause at the age of 50.. I simply stopped and never had another period. No side effects. No mood swings, no hot flashes, etc. I have never taken any pills for the lack of anything that may be missing during the change. I am greatful for my health and just say Thank You, Lord.

I read most of your responses & they all seem right on & informative. The only thing I want to say is-the lady who wrote about giving choices. Which cup, what punishment, where at etc.. In my opinion, I think that's what wrong w/alot of kids these days. This upcoming generation think they should be respected n all..for what? being born? I'm glad that worked for her but not for me. My 8yr old is smart, athletic, & sweet but he doesn't get to choose how he's punished. We talk often about life being full of choices & how making the right one would put an end to all the yelling, spankings, etc. It's his choice whether we have a 'good' day or a 'bad day! It's hard being consistent in this but when I say it-you do it-if you think it's dumb/hard whatever-you keep it to yourself. I expect yes ma'ams & not ifs, ands or buts. Sometimes I'll give him a chance or two to think about how he's acting but then I'm done. Once children realize you mean what you say-things change. `point-how many kids do we know that respond the first time w/a male(Daddy/Grandad/Step)? I know ALOT! I think it's because the kids know they don't get 2-3 chances. That's how I figured out that was the best way for us. I raised my 8yr old by myself for 7yrs & two yrs ago-when I remarried it was to an Army guy so now my 1yr old is w/just me more than us. bottom line-stay tough-even when you're exhausted-don't give in! Good luck & may God bless you richly! ~L. C. keep us posted..

Hi K.,
I already responded and prayed for you, but I wanted to come back and see how you were doing. Things improving? Feeling better? Where exactly do you live in the De Kalb area? We're in Lydia and my home # is ###-###-#### if you want to call and talk.
Blessings
Grami

Hi K.,

I highly recommend Relacore. Yes, I know it's a "diet" pill but it's herbal, all natural, no caffeine, No Ephedra and REALLY helps with depression and stress.

I started taking it for weight loss but continued to take it for the stress relief.

I've taken the day-time and the night-time formulas with great success. I sleep better and feel like I have more control over my life since I stared taking Relacore.

You can get it at Wal-Mart for around $20.00

M. :)
http://www.enidmg.com

You are not alone! Motherhood can be so stressful, and it certainly takes a toll on us! I have been on a combination of Zoloft and Amitriptyline and for me it works very well. Be careful when switching antidepressants and work with your doctor. You may need to be weaned off of the Wellbutrin, there can be withdrawl symptoms if you just stop taking it. Talk therapy has also helped me - whether it be a therapist or a really good group of girlfriends (who are also moms) - I use both! Good Luck with everything and hang in there, somehow you will make it through - we women always do :o)

Perhaps you don't need an anti-depressant but a counselor to talk to? It seems like everyone is taking some kind of depressant medicine these days. I really think they are over-prescribed.

Generally, when dealing with kids who are tough to handle, you need to focus on positive praise. Instead of harping on everything they do wrong, which is what they want, like you said, ignore the negative as much as you can, but really really praise the positive. You can even make a sticker chart and give stickers for doing what they are told without arguing. After so many stickers (start small and increase the amount) your child gets a treat (like picking a movie rental or going out to a favorite restaurant, etc.). I hope this helps a little.

K., I suggest that you get on a natural hormone. I have learned alot about the side effects of prescriptions and why we need to lean more towards natural remedies. The company that I own we do have a natural hormone if you want to check out my website at www.successfromtheheart.myarbonne.com it is called Prolief. You can click on the the product page and read some of the symptoms. Also, Dr John Lee has a great book and website regarding menopause and the symptoms. He suggests that we are low in progesterone and should use a natural cream. IF you have any questions feel free to call or email me. K. ###-###-#### ____@____.com

I have taken Zoloft for a while now. It helped me have patience with my kids. I would get very stressed out with my 2 kids and all the other stresses I had. It helped alot

Spank his bare butt? That just might be what he needs. When my 10 year old acts up I take away all electronics. It's working great so far.

C.

p.s. ask your doctor for Xanax.

Try Zoloft and read John Rosemond books. Good luck! I have a strong-willed 5 year old daughter, so I'm about to refresh myself on Rosemond's tactics! I also agree with the advice to exercise. If you can afford it, join a gym that has child care and use it 1-2 hours on most days. It will give you a break from your child and make you feel better.