Reassurance Needed About Late Talker

A friend of mine had a preemie about 8 yrs ago. Anyway, she was told not to expect her daughter to hit mile stones on time. They told her to get a feel for when to expect mile stones off of when her due date was supposed to be. Does that make sense? basically if the child is born 2 months early to expect the milestone 2 months later than babies carried to term.
Also I want to let you know that I know a boy that hardly talked the first 5 yrs of his life. Now he is 12 and speaks perfectly.

-- WHEW, Barbara - you have 3 babies under 3 --- hmmm --- I'm sending some magic dust for your energy --- and your patience. One of the possibilities is that your little quiet guy is a late talker - my family had one, also ( other children - the 'baby' didn't talk until he was nearly 5 - my poor great aunt was frantic - but he broke out in sentences--- who knew??/) --- You are getting all the support for him---- but having done special ed, preschool for decades I do know that sometimes the one weak link in the chain is support for you--- you have a HUGE job which you are doing beautifully--- try really hard to read something that makes you laugh- or go to a movie by yourself- or - do you have family in the area to provide respite??? for YOU??????

Blessings, dear heart--
J.- aka - Old Mom ( are you in the Seattle area?? - my program doesn't show me - if you are-- the EEU is the BEST place ---

Many children are late talkers, especially those who are right brain thinkers, artists, dancers, etc. You might also try swimming--it helps with right, left, right, left coordination which is supposed to help with brain organization.

When talking comes out, it will come out in full sentences. That was the way with my son. I think my son's first words were "boo dah dah" which meant "pass the milk please" Notice the please. I was the only one who figured out what he meant. (good mom) He turned out to be highly gifted. That was somewhere after two. By four he was talking fully descriptive sentences and telling stories.

When he was 23 months we went to Hawaii and saw a huge cave. He did not talk yet. But obviously the vocabulary was developing, because at 5 he told me all about it. I would keep pouring the experiences and words into him, experiences and words at the same time if you can. And then let nature do it's work.

Hi Barbara - BREATH - It is and will be OK!!! It is very tough as a mom to see our kids struggle or lag behind the "typical" kid. My youngest started speech therapy when he was about 18 or 19 months old. He is now 6yrs old. We can understand him lots better but he still has tough time with some words, sounds, phrases, sentences, etc. With him we are leaning toward auditory processing issues with a little bit of motor planning problems. We have been to a pediatric neurologist in addition to other specialist (had ear surgery too). One thing is we have to "wait" until he is a little "older" to confirm where he actually falls with his development. But he overall is doing wonderful, he is the sweetest kid. No matter what we have to sit back and realize that our kids are going to develop the way are. Early intervention & services are great (and often needed) but we need know that no matter what, they will be OK, they are a gift from God and they will grow to be the best they can be. So don't stress about it (been there, done that - I moved on). Yes, I still want my son to get what he needs to help him be successful but I am doing much better just "going with the flow of life". God Bless

I have 2 boys(4 1/2, 30 months) and both of them have been late talkers. With the oldest we did all the tests, speech therapy, etc. but one day it just clicked (about 30 months) and he started trying words. Now with #2, he is just getting it. My opinion is that they have both been too busy to talk. The speech therapist also told us that babies who get their needs met right away often have no need to talk also. (not always true, but made me feel better in that waiting time) We did sign language with both boys, but the older one never used it, so it didn't help. The younger one has used it, and gets his wants fixed alot easier. The best advice we learned from speech is to make them look at you when you're talking, hold items by your mouth when you say them (eg. spoon- then they see and hear the word), and using alot of easy words (M,P,B's are easiest) Hope this helps. We heard lots of well meaning people saying things that worried us too, but also lots of success stories. Hope this helps.

Hi Barbara,
I know how you feel. I have boy girl twins who where also 10 weeks early. They are three now and talking just fine. My son was late to start and his story sounds much like your son's. My daughter took off with speech and is still ahead of her brother but he's doing just fine. We did two years of developmental check ups but never any ST. I think so much of his delay has to do with his personality. He is much more laid back than his sister and seems to quietly take it all in. Where she still babbles and chats incessantly he is still more soft spoken and choosy about his words. I think of him as the strong silent type. But if it helps at all he is just where he needs to be speech wise after quite a delay. He really didn't start "communicating" until well into his second year and much closer to three. Keep us posted.

N.

Barbara,
My son too was a late talker. He was put into speech therapy at 22 months because of this. I didn't think he needed to be there, but because you want to do everything possible for your child, we went. He could completely understand everything we told him, "go get your shoes" "brush your teeth", etc. I went for 5 weeks and realized it wasn't helping. He was opening up to the therapist and so she thought he was "improving" when actually he was just becoming comfortable around her. When he hit about 29-30 months, he just turned it on. He spoke clearer than any other kids at his day care. (his father and I are both in our 40s and we never talked "baby talk" to him). He will be 4 in December and is a non-stop talker. He is great at pronouncing words that we'll say to him for the first time. And I think more so with twins, that if your other son is talking up a storm, that might be more reason for this guy not to. He might not feel he needs to say as much if his brother is doing all the talking. I didn't worry when my son was late and I don't think you should either. During his therapy a "more seasoned" counselor observed our son. The first one wanted to identify some kind of "autism" within him. The more educated one said that he was just too young to do that. Kids can catch up in no time. I would just keep talking to him, make sure he understands you, and see if he isn't relying on his brother to make up for him. Good luck and hang in there. Pretty soon you'll be posting the "how to make them stop asking 1,000 questions an hour". Just kidding, but that's how it feels sometimes now :o)
P.S. Our son is an only child and wasn't exposed to any other kids until he was about 18 months old so I think that affected him too. Who knows? ;o)

it will take your premies YEARS to catch up, so be patient.

My MIL says my husband was still babbling his own language at age 3. Found out in 2nd grade that he's dyslexic. After much tutoring, you'd never know it! In fact, he's a bookworm and does very well in the computer industry!

Don't worry. You're getting some great support and doing a wonderful job!! God equipped you with special abilities when he gave you your special kids! :)

My daughter was small for gestational age, didn't walk until almost 19mos, was delayed in eating solids (poor mouth muscle development), and didn't talk until >2.5. She was diagnosed with autism. We started speech therapy at about 16mos and it took a LONG time before we seemed to make much progress. Like your situation, she showed big progress in comprehension, but little progress in speech production. And the biggest frustration was when she did speak, she used the same 2 or 3 words to mean everything she did say and grunted and gestured to do most of her communicating. "Down" meant down, up, come, go, bring, take, etc. And "Dis" (aka this) was used to represent any noun. I knew she was past the worst of it when she started talking during playing by herself (wanting to use language for her own purposes). The regular therapy sessions that we reinforced at home and daycare made all the difference and by age 3 she was merely "delayed" in her development. By kindergarten she was still having speech issues, but she was speaking and performing at grade level. Today she's 15 and has an excellent vocabulary. Hang in there.

My middle child was/is dyspraxic. He had slow fine and gross motor skill delays, coupled with ear infections that made talking really difficult as he never heard a word the same way twice during the infections. Chris had his own communication system between himself and his older sister. Headbanging, pinching and crying were ways of expressing fear and anger. Missplacing him in a store, he got away and hid in the clothing rack, one time prompted a lockdown of Fred Meyer because he couldn't tell me where he was. Not knowing where he hurt when he was sick he was frightening. At age 22 months he said his first really word "Baby" when we were at a sibling class prior to the birth of his younger brother. Speech therapy at Scottish Rite Center for Childhood Language Disorders, now known as Kid Speak, was a God send. I can't say enough about his therapist Jacki Brown at their Seattle location. They are all over the state of Washington and Oregon. There is no cost for their services, pay what you can. It's part of the Shriner's organization. (We designate our United Way contributions to go there and our employer as one time matched those direct contributions.) When he was diagnosed at Childrens they told us that he would always have problems, wouldn't be really talking well until he was 15-16 yrs old and would be in speech therapy with them 2 times a week until then. I found Kid Speak. He graduated when he was 4 yrs old from their program, they gave me little boy. My Dad said for someone who didn't talk, this kid had been injected with a phonograph needle. He continued to receive some services at school, OT/PT, and is disorganized like his father. His intelligence was never a question, he just was challenged to express or show what he knows, either thru speech when younger or through writing because his penmanship sucked. He graduated from high school, played the sax, had AP French. Played football, took up distance running and track. Has ran 4 marathons by the time he was 20, finishing in the top 5 for his age group. He has graduated from community college with honors, having taken Arabic and is a photojournalism major now at Western Wa. University with a 3.6 gpa to date. He's quite articulate. Computers make his 'written words' easier to read. Persistence. Being his advocate for whatever it is that he needs. Early intervention you have down pat, we started at 18 months. Enjoy each moment with your kids. Give them their family time, but take time with each of them individually. The one on one is important. Best wishes for all of you!!!

I actually know a lot of twins who one of the pair didn't talk to the rest of us until they were 2-4. "Talked" (twin speak...not necessarily verbal) just fine to their twin, just not with US.

My singleton only had a handful of words until 2ish (communicated brilliantly, just didn't use words). Then he taught himself to read, playing on starfall.com, and was reading by 3. Oy. A toddler reading is a terror btw. Great, lets give a person wit noooooo impulse control the ability to read instructions and warning labels. I'm amazed I managed not to have a nervous breakdown.

Same token, certain developmental things CAN run in families. The biggest comfort you can probably gain IS from your brother. You sons share genes with him, after all. The late talking may very well be just that.

Barbara,

Maybe have his ears checked for ear infection. My son was also a late talker, and we were at the point where I was getting pressure from all sides to get him into speech therapy. I never did. He's six now and talks just fine. We have video of him reading Brown Bear, and either his ears are stuffed with cotton or his mouth is. Watching, and listening to those videos now his words are barely understandable and terribly garbled.

He had a couple ear infections that we caught (sudden high fever, rupture) but we don't know how many we knew nothing about. He never tugged on his ears or whined or showed any of the typical signs/symptoms of an ear infection.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

BTW I took him out of daycare at 3 1/2 when his sister was born and just worked with him on pronunciation one on one. I guess it worked cause now he never stops talking and anyone can understand him.

Hi Barbara,
I have twins, B/G, who are now just 27 mos old and a 7mos old (girl) so I know you have your hands full already and worried about this also.

I know alot of twins locally and I can tell you that twins have their own talk sometimes and therefore, talk later than singletons. I am no expert but I listen to other peoples stories and have found this to be true. My kids know a little sign language and talk at home quite a bit but go between talking in "twin" talk to one another and then talking to us in "normal" speech. I think these "milestones" vary between kids and with twins, it varies even more.

I know it is easy to get caught up in all the opinions from the medical community as well as friends but if your gut is telling you they are healthy and happy and talking just a little, I would not worry. I know singletons who really didn't talk until about 3 yrs old so I would not sweat it.

I wish you the best.

Hi Barbara,

I don't have twins myself, but my best friend does and her girls are a lot like that. I was recently asking her about it, and she said that the one who talks more tends to do the talking for the other twin. Is this happening with your boys maybe? Typically with twins, especially with talking, one of them does more than the other, and it doesn't mean they're "more advanced" or anything like that, I think it's just the other twin doesn't get as much opportunity as the one who maybe does more of the talking.

Hope this helps - good luck!

C.

My son was a late talker. At age three (he was not a premie), he spoke very little, and what he did say was for the most part unintelligible. He attended developmental preschool for this reason. We had a great program and when your twins turn 3, I hope you will consider this option.You would have a hard time believing now that he ever had speech issues. He is now 11 years old. We do still have trouble with expressive language- but now that means written work.

You are doing the right thing, keep up the therapy.

Raising children is the hardest thing I have ever done. They each have their challenges - some of the challenges are most visible then others. Everything is going to be OK with your boys, but you will also grow and expand your definition of what OK is. Enjoy them, keeping working on current challenges, and try (I know its hard), not to worry about what their future challenges might be.