Reasonable Rate

Updated on April 15, 2009
J.S. asks from Kenilworth, NJ
4 answers

So here is my situation, for the past 5 years my girls' paternal grandmother has been providing child care for my girls. I have been paying her for her services. Her son and I are no longer together and even when we were, he didn't contribute towards anything really. My oldest is in kindergarten all day and goes to her grandmother's for a couple of hours until I pick her and her sister up. My youngest goes to Pre-k for two hours, 3 days a week. The remaining time is at her grandmothers.
Their grandmother is retired, has her husband's income, pension, and retirement coming into her household as well as the child care money. My company will be reducing all employee salaries the end of this month and I've been struggling paying for the necessities for the girls and myself. What would a reasonable rate be to pay their grandmother until I finally am able to put the girls into another child care facility? She is getting paid $800 a month (yes, I know crazy!)and heaven help me if I tell her she's not getting paid her full amount on time. I am tired of feeling obiligated to her!
Thank you for your insight!

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So What Happened?

Well, unfortunately their grandmother was not very understanding. Needless to say I got into a verbal argument with her AND her husband. For some reason they were talking about having me pay less money in child care back in December but never brought it up to me. Supposingly all the money I was giving was going for the girls' food and medicine (for when they had colds) for the month. $800 worth! Anyway, the girls are now going to another place where they are more active. I know they're going to miss seeing their grandparents on a daily basis but they'll adjust. Let's just hope that their grandparent's actually make an effort to see the girls more than they see their other set of grandkids!
Thank you all for your advice!

More Answers

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M.L.

answers from New York on

J.,
Right now you are paying her $800 a month and your children arent there "full-time"? Honestly that is alot!! My daughter is at the babysitter's from 7:30 in the morning til 5:30-6:00 at night and I pay $120 a week...AND she feeds her all of her meals...this amount was what the sitter told us she charged, as there are many times I feel that she should be getting more than that...but she is older and I know this is exta income for her....you can always tell her that you have looked around and found there are cheaper places out there...also explain to her that you wont be able to pay her that large amount due to pay cuts at your job....she should understand, as your money is not her only source of income!!
Meg

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B.P.

answers from New York on

I think you should have a frank discussion with your former MIL and tell her your concerns. See what she has to say. Do you think she will be understanding? I pay my babysitter 8 dollars an hour for my one son. I am not sure how many hours she takes care of your children so I don't think I can give you any monetary number that would be appropriate.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

I would give her half, tell her that your ex will be providing the other half...tell him that too...and don't back down. I watch my friend's kids (9month and 20 months)from 9-230 M-F and that's what I make (of course cash off the books)most of the women I know charge 125 for a child under 2, but it's cheaper once they're potty trained and in school!!! I'd check out your school's before/after care or the YMCA (they charge by income and some include childcare in that price...others don't)I also know some kindercare's bus to and from school although I think they're rather steep in the price department! Good luck!!!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

That's a lot of money she is making. I know you feel secure since she is your former MIL. Look elsewhere.. also sit down and tell her they are cutting your salary and you can only give her say 450 but make sure you have looked at other things too.. if she says no way.. then tell her you have found someplace else for the kids to go.. thank her for everything.. tell her that you hope she will still see your children from time to time.. and go with the new place if the price is right and the care is very good. Remember that kids get sick.. and hopefully your MIL will be there for you when they are sick and you can pay her for that.. but let her know that you cannot afford this price any longer. good luck

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