Really Nervous About Breastfeeding. Advice? Suggestions? Support?!

Here's a few thoughts:
A happy mom = a happy baby.
There's nothing wrong with trying something for the first time.
Formula is not poison.

The only important thing we need to remember is THAT a baby gets fed--not HOW the baby is fed.

Good luck!

I second Victoria. Even if you try and the baby gets that colustrum, it's better than nothing. It's at least worth a try. I only b/f Julia for 3 months, but I feel good that she got it at all considering I was an 18 year old still in highschool and working 10 hr. shifts at Waffle House. :)

Here is my opinion:
Give it a try. Assuming you will not go back to work the day after you deliver... probably a few weeks at home at least, right? So give it a try while you are home. If, after a few days or a week of giving it "a go" you decide it isn't something you are up to doing, then move on to bottles and formula.

You already said you want to try it, but are scared. So, why so scared? It isn't something that one you decide to try it you are COMMITTED to doing and can't change. It is actually very easy to switch from breast to bottle early on. The more difficult thing is to try going the other way! LOL

Don't stress yourself out over the "what ifs". What if it hurts? What if I don't do it right? What if I don't get enough sleep? What if ____.... Just give yourself the freedom to TRY IT and if you don't want to continue, then don't. The end.
And enjoy the new baby boy!

First - congratulations!

Easy solution - try it for two weeks, and if it doesnt work out, it doesnt work out. Lots of people try and for one of a hundred reasons decide that formula is the best option.

I say two weeks because the first week or so is REALLY hard. Your nipples will probably crack and bleed. Gross, I know, and no one tells you that. It HURT like crazy for a few days any time the baby latches on. On top of that, you are always scared the baby isnt getting enough to eat because you cant really tell. When your milk lets down, you have these weird tingly feelings that take a little while to get used to. Also, when your milk first comes in on day 2 or 3, you get engorged which makes your breasts feel like great big hard bruises. Thats no fun and very alarming, if you were not expecting it. If things get really bad, you get mastitis which makes you feel like you have the worst flu you have ever had in your life. Good news is that you have pain killers from giving birth - take those for breastfeeding. :)

After the first two weeks, things get better. You can pump and let daddy give a night time bottle while you sleep. When you DO get up, you dont have to mess around with fixing a formula bottle - just pop that baby on and doze in the chair. :) Its starts to feel nice to nurse your little baby, and see that sweet little face, mouth latched on, nursing contentedly away. Your husband gets jealous because you and baby are so happy breastfeeding.

When my children got a little older, I could nurse them laying down, which was GREAT! Just laying around on the couch, nursing the baby, watching TV while the husband does the dishes and feeds the other kids. Oh well, babies gotta eat, right?

I work full time and breastfed both of my children until they were at least one. I took a pump to work and pumped in a conference room three times a day. I pumped at home twice a day (my kids were big eaters). It was exhausting, but I was obsessed!

In lots of ways, I think its MORE convenient than formula because you never need to pack a bottle. Taking the big girls to soccer? No problem. Just sit in the car, or in a corner someplace, and discretely nurse. You may be self conscious, but REALLY, no one else cares. I had more people give me positive comments for breastfeeding that I can count, and never had anyone even look at me crosswise, let alone say anything, about the public breastfeeding.

One big motivation for me was the $$. How much does formula cost? @ $40/month? I have no idea because we did not spend one cent on formula. I'm so cheap (and poor) I was ultra committed to breastfeeding to save the money.

Try it - give it a few weeks. If it does not work out for you, your baby, and the rest of your family, switch to formula. If it does work out, great! If not - no problem. Your girls turned out great, right? :)

It's ok, breathe deeply :)

First, think of it this way - if you start breastfeeding and it's not working for you for ANY reason - the stress, the logistics, whatever - you can always stop. If you start on formula, you cannot change your mind. So go into it with the mindset of giving it a try. You have nothing to lose.

In terms of being on the go, I found breastfeeding easier than bottles. Nothing to keep cold, warm up, or prepare. If you are out and the baby gets hungry, all you need is you, the baby, and a layette blanket to throw over your shoulder for privacy.

Sleep - some babies sleep well early, and others don't. I had one of each and breastfed them both. I don't really think that is breastmilk/formula related. Also, FWIW, I did have my husband help with middle of the night feedings so I could get some sleep. My first baby got 1 bottle of formula a day (at the 2AM-ish time), and my second baby got a bottle of pumped breastmilk for the middle of the night feeding. So you CAN feed your baby breastmilk and still have Daddy participate in the joy of night feeding :)

Sensitive nipples - all I can say is that you do get used to it. If the baby has a good latch, it's not an issue. When you are in the hospital after the baby is born, ask for a consultation with the hospital lactation consultant to get you off on the right foot.

And since you work full-time, you'll want a Medela double electric pump and a hands-free pumping bra. I would just close my office door, get the pump going, and keep working on the computer while I pumped. If you don't have your own office, you'll have to ask your boss for a space to pump. Hopefully he/she will be accommodating.

Finally, evidence is pretty clear that breastmilk, even with the mom taking medications (assuming the meds have been ok'd by the doctor, as yours have), is still healthier than formula.

Just give it a try! Good luck!

talk with your pediatrician, ob, and the doc prescribing the meds. and then talk to the pharmacist. do this before you agonize anymore over this decision....

if you feel comfortable with the meds after those discussions, then please, please try breastfeeding. it is really hard the first few weeks but then it is soooooo easy. no bottle prep, no carting anything beyond some diapers. it is easy weightloss. it helps with the hormone/emotional thing.

your nipples will toughen up.

it will actually be easier to breastfeed than bottlefeed with active older ones - no prep is needed. just a spit rag, a small blankie for covering while latching on - and you're good to go!

know that breastfeeding is not always easy. quite frankly I HATED it for the first month. only my uber-competitiveness kept me going (all my friends did 2 months or more). that and my pediatrician telling me how much she hated it with her first! that said, I ended up pumping when I went back to work (swore that would never happen and did it with both). then I didn't wean either until 18 months (rather than 9-12 months old I thought would happen) because I really enjoyed it and the bonding.

as for the sleep thing....yes, you may wake more. but you maybe just got lucky with your older ones! my oldest flat out didn't sleep (and I don't think formula would have helped) until he was 14 or 15 months old. the second slept through the night the first time at 3 days old. different kids; different sleeping! but the beauty of breastfeeding is that you never really have to be fully awake. grab the kid, put him next to you - he'll latch on and you fall back asleep (this is at 2-3 months old and older). yes, you'll sleep on a towel for a few months, but so what?

breastfeeding may actually help with the post-partum depression.

if you decide to breastfeed, line up your support by 30 weeks. a doula/lactation consultant is needed that first week or two after birth. and you must get your partner and anyone else close (i.e., if your mom lives in the same town) on board. you will need their support and help.

good luck!

My thoughts:

See if there is a breastfeeding class available in your area, maybe through the hospital you deliver in. They will give you so much information and support and be able to answer you questions.

Good luck!

One of the best ways to answer your questions is to find your local La Leche League group and ask the leaders and members how they coped with the issues you're facing. There's no cost to attend as many meetings as you want, and nobody there will think your questions are silly or strange- they've probably had the same questions themselves. Plus it's a good way to connect with other new moms in your area.

Info for meetings in your area:

http://texaslll.org/group/arlington-grand-prairie

Personally, I find that BFing is much more practical than trying to manage more stuff- my youngest has nursed at plenty of sporting events and other activities for my older kids. I have so much to juggle that if I didn't have his food ready to go and always with us, he'd be in trouble!

Dear N.,

Overall, my recommendation is: Give it your all. If it doesn't work, okay -- it didn't work. But try to go into it with a positive attitude rather than sort of front-loading disaster.

To allay a few of your concerns:

For the vast majority of nursing moms, nipple pain is gone within the first two weeks. During those weeks, it really helps to put lanolin on your nipples (it's totally safe for the baby).

If the nipple pain gets bad, I also recommend meeting with a lactation consultant, going to a La Leche League meeting, and visiting the amazing website Kellymom.

On the emotional stuff, it's really important to remember: Breastfeeding releases oxytocin -- the "happy hormone." And oxytocin can blunt the effects of postpartum depression. I'm not saying it'll be all happiness & rainbows -- I do know a mom who's bipolar and had a pretty rough patch, postpartum, but breastfeeding is likely to make it better rather than worse.

On the sleep thing, I honestly wasn't tired at all with my son, because we co-slept. I mean, honestly. I fed him every time he woke up, and I got as much sleep as I always do. I know this isn't for everyone, but if you're not comfortable having the baby right there in the bed, a good option is the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. It's a bassinet that attaches directly to the parents' bed, so the baby is literally at arm's reach, but he's in his own enclosed space.

Finally, on the meds, I can't answer in clinical, medical terms, but are you taking them now? If so, your baby will just continue to get them -- only at a much, much lower dose -- after he's born. I also know that drug companies are very, very lawsuit-sensitive, and they test things pretty intensively before declaring them safe for nursing moms. However, there's nothing wrong with checking in with your doctor again, and saying "Are you really, absolutely, totally, completely sure this will be safe." You can also get a second opinion from a second doc.

Good luck, and please take a deep breath. It's great that you're going to try nursing this time. If it doesn't work, that's okay. You can say you tried.

What about just trying it for a few weeks? If it goes well try it for a few months?

I don't have any specific advice for you, other than to be very kind to yourself around this aspect of parenting. Breastfeeding can be a pleasure for some moms and a pressure or burden for others--- and you can be a great mom without nursing.

I encourage you to check out Andy Steiner's "Spilled Milk: Breastfeeding Adventures and Advice from Less-Than-Perfect Moms". I loved this book and thought it presented a well-rounded view of a sometimes-controversial topic.

Remember that natural doesn't always mean easy. You have valid concerns. But you caN make all of this work for you if you truly want to. I knew someone who said they couldn't breastfeed because she was "always on the go". This to me just says she wasn't raised to be comfortable with breastfeeding. With that being said, I had only my husband for support. No one really discouraged me, but it was up to me to make it work. I breastfed my first daughter for 7 months. She had to be put on formula because I got pregnant when she was 3 months old and lost my milk. The younger daughter is 7 months old and still nursing great. It takes a will and dedication. You can pump at work or if it's possible you could go nurse your baby every so many hours. Ask a lactation consultant about the Meds. If they say it's ok, then go for it. And yes your nipples with get used to it. I can't even feel my daughter sucking most times. I check to make sure she's on. It's the accidental hickeys you have to worry about, lol. (When baby misses the nipple and sucks on your skin. Ow.)

If you want to try it go for it. They say even a little helps. But if it gets too over welming don't worry. Formula is fine for the baby. As for your busy schedule just try to make sure you have something to cover up with if you are uncomfortable get a light receiving blanket that you can cover up with. I usually only covered up in public long enough to get them lached on then I would take the cover off. Especally with my youngest as he was born in the summer and hated be covered up. Do what is best for you!!

Good luck and God Bless!!

Something to consider... you can pump and bottle feed your breast milk.

Just another option for you, if actual baby to breast doesn't work out.
Try not to put too much stress on this. Whatever happens, baby will be just fine!

Hi N..First of all don't feel bad about not bfing your girls, I didn't bf my oldest for all the same exact reasons as you, I was 17. Would you be able to pump at work? if you can't pump, then honestly I think this would be a great obstacle b/c going so many hours without pumping or bfing will tremendously affect your supply, your body will think "the milk is just sitting there so I need to cut down on production" even if you feed straight from the breast from the time you get home, going all those hrs without feeding/pumping is bad. BUT then again there must be a way around it, women have been working and bfing forever! Your girls being active in sports shouldn't be a problem, you can always go bf in the car or heck, in public with a cover if you're ok with that! anytime i had to go somewhere, say to the mall, i would make sure to bf her one last time in the car and then the next time it was time to feed (2-3 hrs later) I would make sure my other kids had a snack(to keep them busy while i bf) and we would all sit in a fitting room, since i was allready there I would go ahead and change the babys diaper too, that way i knew i was good for another 2-3 hr stretch. I can honestly say that your nipples will toughen up alot, bfing shouldn't hurt, if it hurts then that mean you don't have a good latch. It is SO important to have a good latch from day 1 to avoid any pain. Trust me when I say that after a few weeks of bfing you wont feel a thing and it's smooth sailing from there. You are right, he will be waking up alot more than if you were formula feeding, what I did was I would nurse for the first feeding and my husband would bootle feed my pumped milk at the next feeding, that way we would both get to sleep for 6hr stretches, not what you're used to and you're also jeopardizing you milk supply going that long without pumping and feeding, but you gotta do what you gotta do.I had severe PPD also so I understand your concern, breastfeeding can very well be overwhelming, i can almost gurantee it will be, and that's when you have to make some choices, do I keep bfing and feel emotionally drained and worn out and be emotionally absent for my baby AND girls? or do I bottle feed my baby like MILLIONS of other moms do and keep my emotions in check. Please do not beat yourself up if you just can't bf. I know it's easier said then done because when DD4 was just 2 weeks old I developed a blister on my nipple that felt like fire was being put to my nipple, and I knew bfing was no longer an option and i felt like the worst mom in the world, i was so heartbroken, stressed out and just felt like i let myself and my baby down, especially since i successfully exclusively bf DD3 for 6 months. But you know what, a couple of days later, I was OK! and kinda relieved in a way that I didn't have to worry about pumping and my supply and ect ect ect.....when i developed PPD with DD2 I was told that in order to take anti depressants(Lexapro) i had to quit bfing,again I was soooo heartbroken and it was a really hard decision to make, so you might want to do some research on that.I wish you the best and don't worry everything will fall into place.

First of all, whatever you end up doing...don't feel guilty...it doesn't make you less of a mom if you go with formula!

I struggled with breastfeeding the first week or so. My mom suggested I give it a good 3 weeks or so before I dropped the whole thing. It did end up working out and being a great thing :).

Another suggestion...it doesn't have to be an all or nothing either way. With our last little guy, I had horrible thrush...one side in particular was a nightmare to nurse on! So I supplemented. I loved it. I really enjoy the closeness of breastfeeding...the health benefits...the convenience of not having to get up and make a bottle or bring a bottle, etc. But it was really nice to be able to have someone else give him a bottle on occasion...even if it was just twice a day. The kids loved it...and there were definitely times where it made things a little easier. I did get sick at one point and although the doctor said the meds were fine for the baby...she also suggested when to breastfeed so that the least amount would get into the babies system.

He was still exclusively breastfed in the beginning...and I do think that that helped. There was no nipple confusion...it did toughen my nipples up a little quicker than had I supplemented early on...and if it had been my first and I had had the option to give her a bottle...I probably would have ended up nursing very little. Once things were established...I found it extremely relaxing and therapeutic :)

I would suggest giving it a try for the first month or so....or maybe until you go back to work...at that point you may find you love it so much you want to continue exclusively breastfeeding...you may find it works better to supplement...or you may find that for you, it just works better to use formula. And any of those are perfectly acceptable!

Congratulations on your pregnancy :)

I didn't bf my first child for exactly the reasons you didn't. I found out the second time that the reasons I didn't do it were all easy to work around. I just kept her in a bassinet in my room at night. When she woke to eat she was right next to me- so easy! I could pump milk at work (be sure to pay the extra money for a GOOD pump and it goes quickly). And not all medications are excreted in breast milk - check with the pedi or your ob. I had absolutely NO problems with cracked or bleeding nipples, so don't let others scare you as it doesn't happen to everyone. The sucking sensation is gentle, and you get used to it quickly. BF babies do eat more often, but that's only an inconvenience for a little while in the scheme of things. Your hospital will have a lactaction consultant. Let her help you to begin, try it out and see if it is workable for you! You can always go to formula or breast milk formula combo later. Congrats and good luck

You need to be confident in your decision. Whichever way you choose, you have to be confident. If you are unsure, uncomfortable, afraid of breastfeeding, you will NOT be successful with it.

I tried to BF my first. (more like pressured in to it from a lactation nurse). I was unsure of what I wanted to do at the delivery and the nurse said you need to feed your child is what you need to do and stuck him right up there. Well, okay, I'll try. I was unsure, uncomfortable. I was depressed. I was a mess. I finally switched to formula because I realized that BF was just not working for me and my child.

For my second child I knew that I did not want to BF. She was on formula the whole time. I do not regret my decision because it is what worked best for me and my life situation.

How much time will you have off from work to give breast feeding a fair chance to even become established? I think it takes a good 2 months for everything to feel natural and easy between baby and mommy.

If you are planning on only a couple of months, that might not be enough time to get into a rhythm with your baby before going back to work, and then you'd be a set up for the other issues you describe very openly and honestly.

Ditto OneAndDone...there's nothing with giving it the ol' college try and re-assess after a few weeks of effort. Don't sabotage yourself and breastfeeding now before you've had a chance to attempt.

Regarding your sensitive nipples. discuss that with a lactation consultant. I have inverted nipples and when the baby successfully pulled them out all I did was curl my toes the entire first month. Ow, ow, ow. But afterwards, it was smooth sailing.

If your family routine and your sleep habits are going smoothly and if sleep deprivation can aggravate your symptoms, it sounds like you know the best answer. Formula's are a healthy alternative to unusual circumstances. Don't think you have to do it all. Drop the super-mom complex today.

Congratulations on your bundle of boy!!!

Do what makes you most comfortable and your baby happy. There is nothing wrong with trying it and if it does not work out it is ok.

Personally, I chose not to BF because it was not for me. I knew from the get go that it was not for me and I went with the saying.... happy mamma=happy baby.

I got a lot of grief at the hospital from the La Leche people... enough that I had to call security to get them to leave me alone and my husband left the hospital to purchase formula because they would not give me any. My Dr. had a lot of words with those BF la leches that I call other names but will remain nice here.

I have a very healthy 17 yr old who is not scarred because she was not BF.

Bottom line, do what is best for you. You know your schedule, etc and you'll get a feel for how things are going pretty quickly.

Best wishes.

First...RELAX!! It is important, but stressing out about it is not helping you or the baby!

Relax and make a plan. What will you try, how long will you try. What happens if you can't? What happens if it bothers your nipples too much? Would you consider supplementing w formula? If so, what formula/bottles will you use? Definitely talk to your doc, see if you can talk to the lactation consultant before you deliver. Get some questions answered, go to a bfing class if they have any in your area. Prepare yourself and go with it, don't stress it will just make it that much harder on you!

Pumping and then feeding in a bottle can be a great compromise. It can be time consuming though. I did that with my kids, cause I just couldn't get my kids to latch on correctly and I got sore.

No matter if you can or can't bf you are doing the very best you can for your baby. THAT is most important!!

Good Luck!