Really Need Advice Regarding Incident

I agree, fight it. She needs to understand that there are consequences to her actions. It's like a toddler throwing a tantrum. If she gets away with it, she hasn't learned a thing.

I would file!!! I would not let it drop. Even to annoy her I would not let it drop. Seems like people like her always get away with this stuff. I however would not let her upset me anymore.

Call your own insurance company. The proper way to handle this is to let a big corporation with tons of lawyers handle another big corporation with tons of lawyers. Your insurance company will be happy to help you out.

I feel your pain on the lying. My ex just sat in court on Monday and lied under oath several times for which I have proof, so now I have to go through having him charged with perjury. It isn't pretty. I don't know why people can't just be honest.

Also, ask your son's teacher if she would give a statement and ask if she heard the other mom yelling from her son's room about giving you her info. Also ask the teacher from that room. Someone heard something. Guaranteed.

OK....if nothing happened, how did you end up with her insurance info? She had to give it to you .... plus, the company probably uses this tactic all the time to get people to back down.

I honestly think you handled it fine. Just keep following your lead with this. I had an accident about a year ago when cars pulled over to the side of the street for emergency. I have a van and where I pulled over, I was not able to pull to the curb. The car that pulled in front of me started backing up after the ambulance passed. I had just looked in my mirror to see if I could pull to the street and I turn my head and the car in front of me is backing up. I trioed to do a quick reverse but he hit me. He tried to say I hit him! It turned out he filed a clain against me and he lost because his story did not match up to any of the people investigating. She will probably trip up too. Keep after it. If you have not taken pictures, do it now. Even better if you have pictures from recent days with no scratches.

She sounds like an real witch who is an idiot(LOL). She also appeared to be terrified of you filing that claim. It may be that her insurance co. will probably drop her for someone else files one more claim against her. If she goes around bumping cars like that (twice with one car) she probably got many people filing claims with her insurance co.

I agree with filing the claim. The woman sounds like a great person! She reminds me of a parent i know...always fun dealing with her. Sure one bump can happen to anyone. But after the first time you think twice and are more observant. Who has opened 2 car doors into someones vehicle twice???? come on! She is only thinking of herself then trying to bully you into not filing the claim. She also has some lying issues!
You did the right thing. Keep pursuing it. No need for you to pay for the damage caused by her.

Ugh. Just let your insurance company handle it. Avoid her at all costs. You don't need her toxicity.
On a brighter note- Aren't you glad you don't have to live her life?

File that claim, mama. Some people need to be reminded that they have to follow the rules just like the rest of us. I think this woman needs a wake-up call, big time.

People KNOW when they have hit another car. The passenger side of my car has a dent from some careless person who couldn't be bothered to park properly and exit their car carefully.

Quite honestly, I think you handled the situation very well and showed great strength in front of your child. Who says bullies are only kids? That's exactly what that woman was, and I'm proud of you for standing up to a bully.

Even if nothing comes of this, hopefully, this woman will think twice and show a little more respect for others. Good luck to you. Let us know how this turns out.

Wow.
Take a deep breath.
There are always two sides to the story. You say your son's teacher saw you visibly upset and you reported it to her then other peopel saw her giving you insurance info. THat is good, the teacher or the daycare director may be able to say something in your behalf to the insurance company.
You didi the right thing. She was caught this time. Im sure she's done it before.
Take pictures of the scratch. You have a police report, I'm sure her car is mentioned. I really hope insurance takes care of you and her rates go way up. (OK that was catty)

She sounds like a real "winner"
File a police report, and call your insurance agent right away. It is your insurance company's job to go after hers. Unfotunately you encountered a really mean, self centered person. You were there and you witnessed her doing it. She can be held accountable. Stick to your guns!
Not all people who ding cars are like her. One time one of my kids did it to someone's car. and I found them, apologised and offered my insurance info. I also reported it to my insurance for them to know it was coming. They chose to not file it. The point is, she should have apologized nicely and offered you her info!

Bottom line is she damaged your car. Let your insurance company fight it out with hers. That's what you pay them for. If you have an adjuster, just give them the facts-she hit your car twice with her door and then got aggressive with you when you asked for her information. I wouldn't go into heavy detail with them but let them know she was verbally aggressive and reluctant to give you her complete info. The insurance company will take it from there.

And she's sleeps at night because she probably thinks the world revolves around her and is an inconsiderate bafoon. Unfortunately there are far too many of them out there.

what a beep beep beep! that lady is just rude! good for you for staying calm! i cant stand when people cant admit their faults especially when they are caught red handed! i know i would have blown my lid lol

I had a situation in which someone dented my car and they denied that it happened. I called my insurance company and reported the incident, I gave my insurance company the persons insurance info and my insurance company some how dealt with the persons insurance and the other persons insurance ended up paying for the dent. I was told to call the police next time, so that they can write up a report which could be used as proof when making a claim. I suggest that you talk to your insurance agent and see if they could do the same for you.

That lady sounds like an @$$ and she needs to pay for the damage, she should learn that she can't treat people like that.

Let us know how it goes

I would fight it and make sure she pays for the dent & scratch in my car to be fixed! She is crazy.

Dollars to donuts, she IS often "like this". It's a learned behavior, and comes from people who haven't had to be responsible for their actions in the past.

I agree with the person who said to let the insurance company deal with it. Don't stress yourself out. And I don't spend a lot of time trying to prove you're right, unless ot serves to get the claim approved. Under no circumstances should you try to justify yourself to her.

You DID stand up to her by not backing down. She probably expected (and what is accustomed to) people backing down. And if it turns out she WAS just hormonal, in about 2 months she will either apologize or you'll find she can't make eye contact with you.

You did right. Ugly begats ugly. if you were maliciously trying to fill a claim i would say you were wrong, but since say had she just been decent about it you would have forgave and forgot. so now who the idiot!??? good luck!

What Dori said. You are better off having absolutely no contact with such an obviously toxic person. Let the insurance company handle it, and handle any further encounters with her as neutrally as possible. She is who she is. I feel very, very sorry for her child though!!! If she's hard for you, an adult, to deal with, it's got to be ten times worse for her family.

I would safe my self the stress and strain an drop it.. if it is raising your blood pressure one point -- it is not worth it..

It doesnt sound like your car was severely damaged... It can probably be repaired for a bit of money.. or not repaired and the car will be fine.

I would call my insurance company and let them take care of it, that's what they are there for. But without a police at the scene it seems like a lot more work than needed. But personally, I would let it go. I would be happy that I am not nasty like she. You are only doing it out of spite and nothing good comes out of spite. It really isn't your job to "teach her"- and a few dollars out of her pocket wouldn't do it anyway.
This case would never go to 'court' and at most you could take her to small claims court which would be a huge hassle.
If your insurance company can't handle it, then let it go.

I would keep pursuing it. There is no more you can do on the scene (it would have been overkill to call a police officer at the time to do a report) and the damage to your car costs you money, both in repairs and in the value of your vehicle if you do not get it repaired. Your feelings might have been angry when you filed the claim, but I honestly probably would have said something like, "It is an understandable mistake, slamming two doors into somebody's car. I know you're sorry. At least you have insurance so we can get this settled more easily." Well, I might not have been snarky if she were nice. But nice or not, when we damage somebody's property, we are in the wrong and your best action was to do what you did.

As an aside, I was actually hit while approaching a red light when I was 7 months pregnant. Somebody was turning left out of a parking lot across traffic and the cars were stopped to leave room, but the drivers stopped waved the man pulling out across traffic--not realizing that my lane was completely clear up to the light, so the front ends of our cars hit. Nothing too bad, but it was a horrible headache. The guy was very nice once I got him calmed down and my experience with the insurance companies was great. This situation for you was an accident, it just happened to be an accident caused by someone who was not being polite or courteous. Who knows what her situation was to make her in that mood? Either way, you file the claim. When we drive or do anything we take responsibility for our actions, intentional or not.

It is funny, if I were in your shoes and she were apologetic or took responsibility I would probably have let it go as you said you would.

However, I would pursue the issue now. Continue to be honest and don’t embellish the story. Don’t sacrifice your integrity because of her behavior.
Please call your insurance, let them fight on your behalf. Her insurance will bully you and try to get out of the claim.

Also, and most importantly here, you set an excellent example for your children. Way to go mama

FIle the report. It is wrong and you were there, damage is done to your car. I would not drop the case out of spite at this point. The more you pursue, the more $$ the insurance company spends on paperwork, employees, etc. I agree if she had been remotely nice and apologetic, I wouldn't be a tough. I say get your car fixed.

I admire you for maintinaing your cool. My experience below a few weeks ago is similar but I was unable to maintain my cool.

A few weeks ago, I was in carpool line at high school. An elderly woman routinely avoids the line and drives closely to those of us in line while waiting on her grandson to get out of school. When the police officer is out there, she does not do this (she KNOWS she'll be reprimanded) People have blown horns, etc because she gets so close to cars. WELL it was me that she got. My mirror was banged up pretty badly. She said "sorry". I immediately began taking pics of her car and damage done to mine. She barely missed my door. Her insurance agent called me and said "she said she bumped your car and no damage". I said my mirror was damaged and I expected it to be perfect because that is how it was when I drove up that day. Then, the agent said "she said you have a little white car. What model is it". When I replied that my little white car is a sport Mercedes model, the tone of the agent changed. In the end, I got my mirror back to perfect condition and it was not cheap.

Follow through with your claim. Good luck. Keep us posted.

I would keep going, try to get the evidence you need. You should have taken pictures of the scene, with her car parked next to you and close ups of the damage, but it is too late for that now. (good for future knowledge)

You can report this as a hit and run with the police. If you see my previous post about the woman who hit my BODY with her car, you may get some good information on how to proceed with your case. How horrible that you had to go through this... You were much nicer about it than I would have been if that woman was speaking to me like that!! Good luck and keep everyone posted :) Also, file this with YOUR insurance company too... they will pay to get your car fixed, then go after her to pay them back. Best wishes!

I just asked my husband what your options are as he is in insurance claims. The damage to your car would probably be less than your deductible, so take her to court. The filing fee is small(compared to the damage of your car) and would probably be paid along with the damage done. My husband said if you take her to court, her insurance company would then get involved and pay for your car and you'll be out the filing fee or maybe nothing at all. Don't back down or feel guilty. Make her take responsibility for her actions.

she is mean, and you have a claim...don't know what they'll give you for it, but even when I was beastly huge, I was cautious opening any door in my car, and I require the same of my children...I wouldn't want anyone to have to drive with a dent simply because of my lack of care..

file away!! and do not be ashamed..you played all your cards right

I would fight it and see where it goes. At least she will see that you didn't and won't back down from her being a bully. Good luck!

Also, document everything you can remember. NOW! And if you have any more encounters with her, write it down. IF they are bad enough, call the police to file a report.

PS> You COULD also call a lawyer and just ask for advice. This is free over the phone and see what they tell you. That way you would know LEGALLY where your standpoint is.

Wow! Lots of judgment passed in the responses below about this woman.
First of all, let me say that I totally understand why you are upset by this and I validate and can justify your feelings. I can also tell that you are a thoughtful and caring person who is very bothered by the negative interaction you had with this woman and I suspect that if you are like me, that negative interaction is what is perhaps bothering you more than the incident itself.
As women, we are taught to smooth things over and we expect other women to do so in kind and to behave in a certain way. After 10 years of working with women in customer service in a childcare agency, I have seen the most polished and professional women in some of their darkest moments. I learned early to try to assume positive intent or at least to employ empathy where I could--although it can be really hard.
I try to think of people who behave like this woman did in a different light. Who knows what her life is like...maybe she showed up that day 8 months pregnant after finding out that her husband is cheating on her or that she is losing her job or her baby has something wrong with it. Maybe she just lost a parent or her husband is out of work and they are facing foreclosure. It is hard to find empathy for people when they act this way, but I try to remind myself that we are all human.
I know that there have been some times in my own life since I have become a parent that I have felt pushed to the edge and not my best. And while I have not necessarily acted the same as she did, I have exposed a side of myself to my colleagues or to customer service agents that I am not proud of.
As mothers who want to set a good example, I think it is important for us to acknowledge that people are human, moms are human and that sometimes they have bad days/bad months. And as tough as it may be to not take it personally, the reality is that this woman sounds like she needs some serious support.
I would ask around at your kid's school to see if anyone knows her and can tell you if this is normal for her or not. If it is an abnormal behavior, I would suggest reaching out to her via email and recognizing that neither one of you intended for things to end up the way they did and suggest a resolution.
One thing I think we can all say we learn as moms is that it is best to try and not judge others....because no matter what we say we would never do, until we have been there ourselves, we can't really know what we would do.
And any mom who hasn't been pushed to the edge at some point and behaved in a totally deplorable manner must be super-human or their time just hasn't come yet. I just hope that what comes around goes around and that when it is me acting less than charming, someone will extend the same empathy and courtesy.

persue it.. don't let that B**** get away with it also follow up with a police report if she lies to them big trouble. if insursnce company wont handle it you can always do small claims court. dont let her get away with this!! stand TALL we've got your back lol.

I'd run her through the ringer (Even though I realize there isn't enough damage to do so) But it's people acting like this and being allowed to act like this that make them feel entitled.
I would guess her pregnancy hormones were on overload and she probably had the mentality that she was preggers so she could act however she wanted....I'd teach her a lesson =)

.

First off, good for you for standing up to her and good for you for filing the claim! I would have to. yes this type of thing can happen to anyone, however to hit your doors with hers hard enough to leave a dent is not that common. I have accidentally bumped a car with my door, but it has NEVER been that hard to leave a dent! She obviously doesnt care and was not paying attention at all. Im sure this is not the first time she has done this to someones car either. Im sure if she hit your car hard enough to scratch it and leave a dent there is some of her paint on your door. Maybe tell the insurance company if they dont believe you to come test the paint left on your door and they will see it matches hers. If they wont do anything then i guess if this were to happen again call the cops and file the report right there so then there will be no denying it. I definatly dont blame you for being mad. I dont know if i would have been quite as calm as you were, but you did the right thing and maybe next time she will pay closer attention.

You should have had the police come out. She could blame you for the accident. I would always call the police to the scene! Good Luck! Gotta love people.

M.

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I would be REALLY MAD--initially. You were in the right...she was in the wrong. But...as I tell my students, "You never know what your classmate had to do or go through to get to school this morning...so treat each other with kindness." No one ever knows what another person has had to deal with prior to their encounter.

You are certainly within your rights to file a claim. But I would do it from the vein of it's the thing to do to get your car right again--not because it's the thing to do to get even.

Good luck...I hope it works out!

Way to go. You are a great Mom. The most important thing is while your son was in the car, you did the best you could to keep him safe and protected in that situation. I worked in a couple different daycares and everyone that I worked at had security cameras inside and outside the facility, especially outside for various reasons. Talk to the center director and explain the situation. Her attitude demonstrates a person with no regard for anyone, and I wouldn't doubt there have been other issues with her at the daycare. You should be able to drop your child off in a safe and comfortable environment and it is the job of the daycare to ensure that can happen. Don't give up....do everything you can to make sure she is responsible for her actions. I bet if you see her again, she may be angry, but she will respect you and stay away from you for sure, that's why she tried to be nice in the end. I read this and was mad for you.....bleep bleep bleep is right.

Good for you for standing up for yourself and being a good role model for the kids! Kids need to see that problems get worked out and so they will know how to deal with things when there is conflict.

The school teacher observed you upset and heard your story. I would get that teacher to put that in writing to a letter to you and to her insurance company. Have you spoken to the Daycare Director about this Mother and the troubles you are having? I know it happened out in the parking lot, but it was on their property. The Daycare Director may be able to speak to the Mother and get something worked out that way. If the teacher refuses to put something in writing, maybe she would be willing to talk to the Insurance company. This is where getting the Director or Manager/Owner of the Daycare involved would help out.

We have Pre-Paid Legal and access to an attorney 24 hours a day, if ever there is an emergency after hours. We have saved tons of money by using our attorney to get us out of a contract and agreements. There is power with an atty and a letter from an atty. Do you know anyone who is an atty, like a friend? You could call an atty and see if they would be willing to write a letter to this Mom? The atty can tell you your rights and legally what you can do. She didn't harass you, but wonder how she will treat you when she sees you again at the daycare? There may be a future encounter with her. If you continue to have problems with her, I would definitely call the police, if she is harassing you.

Call your insurance company, deal with her insurance company. I would call an atty just to see what can be done, if insurance won't pay for your dents. You might be able to take her to small claims court. I would call the Director of the Daycare and ask for a letter to be written by the teacher or for the teacher from the Daycare center on their letterhead, that will help. You might ask the Director what other teachers were there that day, and if you could talk to them or if the Director could talk to them and ask if they heard anything or if they saw you upset,etc... If they say yes, get a letter from them or ask if they can talk to your insurance company.

It is sad that people don't want to take responsibility for what they do, especially when it is wrong. I'm sorry you had to go thru this. I was involved in a 5 car accident and found out the hard way that insurance compnanies don't want to pay for anything! They want to wait it out and see if you will go away. I was hit by 2 cars in the back of me and I hit the car in front of me, which hit the car in front of them (domino type effect). I had to fight tooth and nail to get my settlements. It took 5 long, long years to get my settlements. I was innocent, I slowed down on the highway and the jerks behind were going way too fast and hit me when I put on my brakes. With perserverence, faith and strength you can get what you want. You have to have patience, it might not be right away, like you want it to be. Stick it out and get your car repaired/fixed, because you don't deserve that kind of treatment from a stranger/another Mom and your car doesn't deserve that either.

I would highly recommend Pre-Paid Legal, it is awesome. I wish I had PPL when I was involved in the 5 car accident, it didn't know it existed. I feel my case would have been handled in a more speedier type method. They return phone calls within 6 hours (that's their policy). Where the atty I had, I never talked to on the phone. It would take a few days to get a paralegal to talk to me about my case. A lot of companies offer it as a benefit to their employees, check your workplace or your husband's workplace for it and get it, if you can afford the monthly payment. You can get it, if they don't offer it to your work. It is like insurance, you never know when you will need an attorney. However, you sign lots of legal documents-contracts, agreements, releases,etc.. They are written by an atty, however it isn't your atty, it is someone else's atty written to protect their client. You get a free will and other important documents concerning medical issues and power of atty,etc... We have seen a lot of benefit, however you do have to use the plan and call the atty's and ask questions/seek out the help. They don't call you, you have to call them. If you need more info on Pre-Paid Legal, contact me and I'll get you more info. Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now. Hope things improve on this situation.

With no witnesses, it might end up being your word against hers. It might be the kind of thing you have to let go of, since the anger and frustration of continuing to deal with this person will be worse than just leaving the dent in your car.

She's a nut job. Karma will get her. I say let it go, for your own sake.

After reading your post I remembered one incident kind of similar where it was MY FAULT.
It was in a parking lot at work, I pulled into a parking spot and underestimated how much space I had and I hit the other car, the back bumper of the other car nearly fell off. OMG!! I was horrified.
I got the car's description and went inside to ask the receptionist if she could intercom the car's owner to come up front, while I sat there like a little school girl waiting on the principal. lol
So the owner comes up and I'm almost in tears that I caused damage to his back bumper. We walked outside and he looks at his car, looks at my reaction, and just smiles and told me " not to worry, I can fix that myself ". I felt so bad , and he didn't even get mad , he wouldn't let me pay him for it, he just said " accidents happen and you already feel bad enough".
( I ended up baking him a big batch of cookies , the day after ) We worked in the same building.

If that crazy lady you encountered showed ANY remorse at all, things would have turned out differently.
I'm sorry you had to deal with this, good luck with everything.

Of course you're upset – there is nothing about this event that wouldn't be considered upsetting by your average sane person.

I've known a number of people in my life who, when frightened and in the wrong, behave very aggressively. It's just one of the things people do. I was married to a man like that, once upon a time. This woman may have been further off her bearings because of being pregnant and hormonal, but that's not an excuse. It's a shame she behaved that way toward you. It's an even bigger shame she behaved that way in front of her son. But she did, and that's done.

If you are unlikely to be able to laugh this off anytime soon, if you'll likely be kicking yourself for letting it go, go ahead and make your claim. Be calm with her insurance company, and keep restating simply and clearly what happened. Report it to your own insurance, as well. After the way she behaved with you, of course she's going to deny it happened. Your son's teacher heard your side of the story, and possibly other daycare folks as well.

She may win; the insurance and justice systems can be pretty fickle, but you may win. At least you will have tried, and she may be less careless or aggressive the next time she has to share a parking lot with other people. Good luck.

Keep trying to get that claim filed! If she is going to be completely Rude and arrogant like that then she deserves whatever she gets. I cannot stand rude people. Its not your fault that she was having a bad day and was being careless. She damaged your property and now us trying to refuse to take responsibility for her actions, just as you said. PURSUE IT! Don't stop! If the insurance company refuses, then take her to small claims court!

Kudos to you for haning in there in a respectful manner and standing your ground. Unfortunately you encountered a classic adult bully. They take zero responsibility for their actions and lie if they think they can get away with it. She tried to intimidate you into dropping it. I am sure that's how she handles everything in her life. And to think, she's a mom. Great role model.

You are right: She gave you her info so that shows guilt. Take a picture of your car and her car if you can. If she catches you taking a pic of her car tell her you have right to take a picture of whatever you want to outside. Her car just happened to be in your line of camera sight. That's the law. That's why journalist can shoot whatever.

Hang in there with this one. My blood was boiling reading it cause I've come across unjust people like this before, and you just wanna tackle em but you can't so you're just ticked off wondering exactly how to handle these morons that cross your path.

You've done all you can do up to this point. Just follow through with it and expect her to lie. I am sure insurance companies deal with people like that all the time.

Let us know how it goes.

I wouldnt forget it at all... forgive her for it BUT DONT FORGET IT.... Dont continue to let it bother you, but definelty get after her insurance company, or make a deal with her that she can pay for it. I admire your patience... I wish I had some... my 3 year old now yells at drivers becuase she hears me do it! I try and resist... but some of them do not deserve license.

Keep us posted as to what happens.. and good luck with it!

Her being eight months pregnant jumped out at me. She could be really hormonal at this point and her emotions would be all out of whack. It's very possible that she over-reacted due to her pregnancy.

If I were in your situation, I would let the insurance company handle it. That's what insurance companies are for - claims on auto damage. They will go through their procedure and you can see what happens. I would also keep telling myself "she is wrong. it is not me" and not take it personally. Sometimes people that are upset about other things will take it out on a "safe" situation, which you happened to be.

There are a lot of types of people in the world. I can't change them but I can choose how I will be.

i agree we women(especially moms) are quick to judge we don't know what that mom is going through BUT that is no excuse for her behavior.

Wow, there are a lot of unhappy people in these answers. Do you really want to spend so much of your life "teaching her a lesson?" I wouldn't.

At this point, I think you should stop pursuing it for your own emotional well-being. There's no telling why she acted the way she did in the beginning. When people act like that, I try not to take it personally (especially living in NYC) and realize I have no idea what kind of potentially horrible day, week, month, or life that person may be living.

Is the car really damaged that badly? If she is just a nasty, lying human being, then it sounds like you are the one suffering, not her. Is it worth it? It's a car.

Good luck!