Realization

Yes, I've had it happen, about a few thing. The question now is, what are you going to do with this new insight?

Like or your husband? Love your husband? Like your kids? Love your kids?

Everyone I know of has these moments, the one you describe about not liking your spouce. That's when you put your big girl pants on and get in the woman mode and get out of the little girl mode.

What is it that you don't like about your husband? What was your contribution to that feeling? How do you want him to change? How does he want you to change? And how are you going to improve things?

You didn't give us enough information to seriously help you, but not liking your DH much is a real good reason to get started on making your marriage better.

If you are in the child mode, you say, "He did this thng I didn't like to me so I'm going to do something bad to him to 'teach him a lesson'". Get the movie, "Fireproof" and its companion manual, "The Love Dare". I'm on day 13,000+ in the Love Dare.

Be nice. Be loving. Be kind.
And you'll always be on his mind.

Good luck to you and yours.

Meh...my belief is that no O. runs on ALL cylinders at the same time. Sometimes career is booming, marriage not so much.
Or marriage is fulfilling, job stinks, etc.

If your life has not been "leveling out" over a substantial length of time...something's definitely up.

What about marriage counseling? Is that an option?

Good luck!

i actually laughed out loud when I read this. Sorry, not at YOU but your post. I guess it's time for some soul searching....

Does your husband know this?

yikes!!! I've had moments of clarity about a job. but not about my husband. I know he's the one - I just read your question to my husband who said "Lucky me! One day you are going to wake up and I'll be in trouble!!" - I love my man!!!

I'm sorry this is happening to you. With my ex-husband - it started the day we got married - seriously - sad, right? I was walking down the aisle to him and stopped with my parents on either side of me and said "this isn't right - I can't do this" - they thought it was just cold feet...we (obviously) went through with it - we lasted just over 7 years, together 9. it was a combination of things...we loved each other, just brought out the worst in each other.

Now that you have this realization - what are you going to do about it?

not to get all "wordy" on you, but it is called an epiphany - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Yes, typically when I least expect it like when I am moving wash into the dryer.

Of course, don't we all have moments when we go "my soul is being sucked dry by my life."

I frequently don't like my hubby, and then I decide to like him again. I cook a nice dinner, we have an at home date night, and then I decide to like him again.

The question is, do you want to like him? do you want things to change? If so, tell him, say.

Hubby and I have done this a few times, and then things get great again. Relationships require work. So do you want to do some work or do you want to call it quits. Only you know what to do. All i know is that relationships are like gardens, if you don't tend to them, they get destroyed by weeds.

I had this epiphany after being married for 25 years. I'm now a divorced mom of two men - 23 and 27.

I loved my kids but didn't like being around my husband anymore. He was a drinker and did some other things that didn't hold water in my cup (drugs). He refused to quit so I said "enough"...i'm a pharmacy technician..I could lose my license if he got jailed for doing drugs.

Many have asked you this question. Now that you have had this epiphany - what are you going to do? Work on salvaging your marriage or walk away?

I can tell you as someone who was married for 25 years that just walking away won't change things. You have children together so you will have to deal with this man for the rest of your life. If you don't understand why you feel this way - it will be an unresolved issue that will follow you to other relationships. Get to the root of the problem on how and why you feel this way...give him a chance to make it right. you might have to make some changes yourself.

This could be temporary; it could be long-term. It could be a sign of depression; it could be a sign you and your husband aren't and never really were compatible. It could be solved with an effort to be a couple again, instead of parents who live in the same house. But if you can't sort it out yourself, seek a professional. Someone posted that "Counseling is very expensive. Listen to your heart." Well, if you're confused and unhappy you can't be sure whether your heart is seeing things clearly. Counseling does not have to cost a fortune. It may be covered by insurance. Or if you don't want to go that route, see if there' is a "women's center" near you. These are usually non-profit organizations that provide advice, counseling and legal help at low or no cost to women in cases like divorce, custody, financial problems and, yes, just plain emotional help with their lives. If there's no women's center type of organization, try your county health services office.

Seeing a professional who is not part of your circle -- not a friend, not a relative -- can put things into perspective. Sometimes hearing your own situation laid out by a third party with no personal stake in it can clarify things. You may find you can work this out and do still love your husband, or you may find you need to leave, or you may find that both you and he need couples counseling. But if you "follow your heart" you may end up staying when you shouldn't, or going when you shouldn't. Get outside your own head and, yes, outside your own heart.

That is really sad to hear. I am sure at one time or another you loved your husband because you chose to marry him and have kids. If that is not the case then I would get out now. But if at one point in your life you truly loved your husband, I would definitely want to work things out and try to find out what will work for both of you to be happy. I know it is sometimes hard to talk about feelings but you need to get it out because it is not healthy to keep it in. I hope you can make the right decision for you and your family, good luck.

:-)
My husband is annoying me right now too.

Absolutely. I feel the same.

I hear ya, sister! Definitely do some soul searching! I've decided to take 2 months away to do some of that.
btw, counseling is very expensive. just listen to your heart.

Thanks for the addl info. I have been in your position, where I started to withdraw from my relationship. And is it a downward spiral. The more you pull away, the more critical you will become of him. I have never been good at 'working on the relationship,' as in talking over what's bothering me, etc. But I have found if you invest in your relationship with time and emotional energy -- stay engaged, do nice things with no expectation of reciprocation, go to the movies, play a card game, and, definitely, have sex, I "like" my husband a lot more.

With three kids, do you two really spend that much time with your friends? Has that been a mechanism to avoid spending time alone together? I'm all for a weekend alone (sounds like heaven to me), but the next time, take him to the cabin with you.