Realationship Between MIL and Husband's Ex

I don't think it's so much a disrespect to you as to him. Yeah it's weird, not so much that they stay in touch with her, but that they stay in touch with her AFTER WHAT SHE DID to him. But different people act...well, different! My family tends to be a little more a "stick together" kind of family.....I was pretty friendly with my brother's ex until I found out she wasn't treating him right. After that, she was immediately on my "black list", ya know? In my husband's case, he and his exwife weren't exactly amicable, but the dissolution of their marriage was really both their faults. So it wasn't a big deal to me that his mother and a friend stayed in touch with her for awhile. It was a long distance thing and there were no kids involved, so it faded away, but it didn't bother me because my husband was honest and let me know they were BOTH wrong. I suppose it wouldn't be fair or right to take sides or kick someone out of the family if they're both in the wrong, and some families take it seriously when they "adopt" a person into their family during a marriage. But it would make sense to me that if there's no children in the marriage and one person leaves under the circumstances you described, that loyalty should go to the person that's actually related to you. (Different rules if kids are in the picture though).

I think it's wierd too. And, I think its disrespectful to you. It would be one thing to exchange Christmas/Birthday cards but to talk about her in front of you and your husband isn't right. I call "foul"!

While it may be uncomfortable at times, it is not all that weird. Yes most break ups end in just that a complete break. But just because the relantionship didnt work between them, does not mean that it wasn't a healthy relantionship between some of his family and his ex.
Unles his family is treating you rude, I would think it would say allot of good about his family to be able to be mature enough to maintain their own relantionships outside of his.
As long as he is aware that they still have bonds, it should not be considered rude not to consult him on inviting her.

My dad and his ex-wife divorced over 30 years ago. His mother is still fairly close to her and her current boyfriend. She has been a pain in the rear since the get go. What it has boiled down to is that my grandmother has chosen the ex-wife over my dad, and one of the children from the first marriage. My two younger sisters and I (from the 2nd and still goin marriage) have almost no contact with our grandmother anymore because of the favoritism.

For us, the worst part is the complete cluelessness on our grandmothers part, even though we have all told her quite clearly more than once how we felt. My dad has even spoken to her about the disrespectfulness of it towards him considering how they split up. She still doesn't get it.

I'm glad to hear that it isn't a problem for you guys like it has been for us. :) I'm somewhat (ok, totally!) envious!

I also think it is a bit weird and disrespectful not only to you but to your husband. They have to know how much she hurt him. I just got married and discussed with my husband before we got married if it was okay if I invite my ex-boyfriends sister-in-law since we were still friends. She came to our wedding and it was not a big deal since we discussed it before getting married.