When my first son was about 14-15 months old, I let him go at a bowl of strawberry yogurt with a spoon. He didn't spill a drop or get any on his face! He is still that way, knowing not to waste something that he loves :)
My second son is definitely not that conscientious. I took off his shirt and bib and just planned on his getting a bath after he tried the spoon the first time. I have some cute pictures of "the yogurt monster" though!
You can limit her milk so she doesn't fill up on it. After she's had a certain amount, give her water. She'll probably throw a fit or two (my kids never did like to drink plain water) but she'll get over it.
My boys loved grilled cheese sandwiches, fruit cocktail (look for no sugar added--WalMart has one of their brand), bananas, buttered whole wheat toast, quesadillas (plop a tortilla in a frying pan and put grated cheese on half, fold it over and toast both sides. Then use a pizza cutter to cut it into small bite-sized squares), canned mandarin oranges, pineapple chunks (or tidbits), diced peaches and pears, corn, brown rice, rice and refried beans, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, frosted mini wheats, granola, raisins, grapes, diced dried apricots, and I used to flavor applesauce with pureed frozen blueberries or strawberries. Maybe your daughter would like it better flavored.
You may want to ask your daughter if she wants you to feed her, of if she'd like to feed herself. Sometimes all kids need is to feel like it's their choice, and that one of the choices makes them a big kid.
Good luck!