Reading to Preschoolers

Not only should you be reading to him but you should be playing games, teaching him how to tie shoes, how to speak properly, how to read, how to be responsible for picking up his toys, etc. Hopefully you're doing some of these things.

Yes, do your best to read to him, daily. You are not behind. Get him to want to read. Since this seems like a real concern for you, why don't you bring him to the library when you can - even Saturdays have cute little library programs. Make sure he has his own library card (he can get one if he can write his own name.) In fact, many libraries are starting their summer reading programs where kids can earn little incentives by reading a certain number of books or reading for certain number of minutes/hours. Find that comfy spot on the sofa with the nice blanket, pour up a drink for yourself and cuddle. You are gearing him up to a lifetime of reading - it's half the battle if you can get him to enjoy it now.

When my children were that age, I loved Berenstain Bears books because many of them have great morals and deal with timely concerns in funny situations, like bossiness, lying, stage fright, sibling rivalry. Good short books that hold his attention. Anything that he wants to learn more about (and it helps if you enjoy the subject too - otherwise, reading gets boring for you, too!)

You seem to be very hard on yourself. It's hard parenting when you feel like you are an island and that's why these web-sites, like Mamasource, are such a help. Your life is probably very exhausting. As moms, we all do our best, and yet, we still walk away with thinking "I should/could have done more" Mamaguilt!..... If your son has a great sense of curiousity, he's happy and still loves you - you are doing great! Don't worry about him "paying for it", he's resilient and you're addressing his needs by asking good questions like this.

Good luck.

EDIT: Someone already said this - I got my kids to read by reading cereal boxes too. Comic, in the newspaper (these are both good morning reads!) and, if you pack a lunch, put a small note in his lunch box. Also, you can look around your kitchen and make "flash cards" of simple words - a flash card under your "clock" "door" "picture" "window" "sink" will help him make the word associations. Make reading a game too.

Make going to the library part of your activities. Let him pick out some books.

Like everyone else says, read at bedtime. If you're really desperate and tired, it's ok to skip some pages or words. Sshhh! I didn't tell you that! :-)

Also, leave some books laying around for him to pick up and look at. I have a basket in my kitchen with books in it, so when I'm cooking or on the phone, my youngest can look at them by himself.

You know, us Moms, we do the best we can and that's great. Don't beat yourself up. You have a hard job doing it all alone.

M.

The "experts" would say yes, that you should be reading to him daily. But the reality is, that as a working single mom, you just can't do it all. Read to him as much as you can. Choose books that are age appropriate. Ones that have pictures that help explian what the book is about and that are short & simple enough to keep him interested.
Don't feel guilty about not keeping your son super busy. Sometimes children just need the simple things. Quality time should be the focus more than quantity.

I am in a simuliar boat. I am a single mom of 2 little girls. Most of my close friends do not have children, and for those that do, none have the struggles I face. They are blessed to have supportive husbands who share their loads and help raise their children. Hang in there. Trust your instincts, seek as much information as you can, so you can make educated choices. It will all work out.

As a teacher I must respond with a resounding yes. When books are a regular part of a child's life, literacy usually just comes easily. If you find that an every other day schedule would be more feasible, though, I would definitely commit to that. Perhaps you could have him tell you the stories by looking at the pictures and making one up. This is an important skill for little ones to learn, too. Rotate different books in and out of the car for more exposure if you are really crunched for time when you get home nightly. The best way for him to become a good reader is to hear you reading with expression and good pausing. He will mimic however you or his daycare teachers read.

As for the kind of books to read, I would take advantage of the rummage sale season and start collecting a variety of books so you can see what genre interests him. I would get a mix of non-fiction books about animals, fire trucks, trains, etc. as well as fiction books. At four my son really enjoyed Thomas the Tank Engine, Bad Kitty, Poor Puppy, Diego, Backyardigans, Clifford, Ruby & Max, and other books that either had him solve a mystery or learn a lesson. If there are particular shows he likes, start with books in those areas and build up.

The fact that you are worried about this tells me that you have his best interests in mind. Start with baby steps. Perhaps you could even work in a trip to the library to visit the children's section a couple of times each month. I'm sure you can sneak reading into your schedule in a sneaky way that won't take additional time during the week (i.e. during bathtime, at the dinner table, etc.) Good luck!

A.

P.S. If he is in a daycare, perhaps you could ask his teacher(s) how much reading they do in a day with him. It is possible that he is getting oodles of time already.

Try to read to him, but don't beat yourself too much about it. Does he get read to at preschool? Does he spend time with babysitters who you could ask to read to him? I don't read to my 4-year-old every day. It kind of goes in waves. But I do tell her stories, usually plots from books we read or movies she likes (many Disney movies are based on really good books anyway, like Winnie the Pooh and Jungle Book and Little Mermaid). The idea is to (a) connect and (b) engage the imagination, and there are many way to do that. I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about exactly how many minutes you read or don't read to him. Likewise with the weekend activities. Both my husband and I have PhDs, I'm a professor. We're obviously educated and intelligent, and our parents didn't set a timer to read to us for 20 minutes a day, if you know what I mean. We both come from families of three children and two working parents. If we went somewhere on a weekend, we would remember it for years ;). So give yourself a break and do what you need to do to rejuvinate and rest and be your best with him. What you are doing is very difficult. I honestly think that being connected and calm is more important than any number of minutes reading from a page.

Good luck!
R.

After years working in a school, having numerous teachers in my family, and my mother was a librarian...I can honestly say with absolutely certainty that reading is one of the single most important skills your child can possess. And it might just be the most important. A child that can't read or comprehend well is doomed to being average and struggling in all subjects areas outside of art, music and math....and even math can give them a time when it comes to word problems.

The single best way to encourage reading skills and develop those skills is to read to your children every day (or most days) from the time they will sit still. I read to mine even when they didn't sit still for as long as they would listen. It is very important that you make it a priority in your home.

My husband does the reading at night and I read to them during the day if they are home (oldest now reads for herself with mommy). He was hit or miss for awhile and we sat down and talked. I told him this is something I know and he needs to take me seriously on this one (typical man when it comes to many things...wife doesn't know anything...I know better) Anyway that's another topic.

He now reads to the kids almost every night. He even has the boy in there with him and he's only one. He doesn't really pay any attention but we want to develop the habit early and eventually he will sit still and listen.

Here is how my husband does it (and I think he does a fantastic job..the girls are super readers...my oldest is in kindergarten and she tested very high in reading, comprehension, and vocabulary)

1.) He lets them pick a story each.
2.) He reads to them a little lesson from a Bible devotional book first and then he guides them through reading their stories...at first he read them, but they both read now so he guides them)
3.) He asks questions as he reads and as they read to see if they are paying attention...asks about details in the story along the way. They get points for every question they get right (they don't get prizes or anything so I'm not sure why they like that game so much.)
4.) He then asks questions that they have to think about...mommy does this a lot too. What do you think will happen next? Why do you think the main character did that? How would you feel?
5.) At home we have even started writing and illustrating our own stories. I have a book that my MIL got from a thrift store that has lots of ideas for kids to create their own books...templates to copy and instructions for pop-up books, accordian books and so on...
6.) Look up some info about books like title page, author, illustrator, glossary, index, and so forth...familiarize yourself with all the parts of a book so you can teach your little guy as well.
7.) Take a trip to your local library at least once a month or so and let him check out books and participate in library activities....the library over here in Huntley is phenomenal for activities, assistance in finding books, and they have tons of resources like books with tapes for read along time.

Really make time for reading. It is soooo important to a child's success in school and life.

Hi S.! I too am a working mom and always have the nagging questions if I am doing everything ok! As far as reading, me or my husband try to read at least one book to my daughter before bedtime. It also is helpful in establishing a bedtime routine that allows my daughter to fall asleep faster - she knows that every night we put on our PJs, brush our teeth, read a book and off to bed (no exceptions)! I find little ones like to know what is going to happen next! It also gets them interested in reading - which will help develop reading skills. Any books he will love. Most importantly - try not to stress (I have to remind myself of this as well). The most important thing is that he knows you are there for him and love him. It must be hard as a single mom – so don’t worry if you can’t every night. We all do the best we can under the circumstances at the time. Our children will someday recognize this and be appreciative of our love. I know I am now with my parents, which always seemed to have to work (and were so tired). Good luck.

Yes, please try to read to him every day, even if it's just for 5 minutes. Of course, Dr. Seuss, but how about Eric Carle books or anything by Sandra Boynton? Also, Audrey Penn, David SHannon, Jan Brett (great illustrations), Tomie diPaola, Mercer Mayer (Little Critter series), Laura Numeroff and mst alphabet books are great. You don't always have to "read" either--look at the pictures, ask questions about the setting, colors, characters, what looks like might happen.
Have him see *you* reading; again, even five minutes with your own book/magazine while he "reads" his own is a good change of pace--and a five-minute break for you! If he won't make too much of a mess, sit him down with a four-sided cookie sheet that has some rice so he can practice making his letters while you make dinner. Just some idea to encourage the love of reading. Hang in there and best of luck to you!!

S.,

Read to your son every day and read every thing. The backs of cereal boxes, directions to a game, the back of a DVD cover, stop signs, junk mail, magazine covers, anything you can get your hands on. Expose him to words and sounds every chance you get. Kids learn from the world around them as well as books. Expose him to the things that you like, and chances are, he will like them too. You can make a time to read books with him every night, or you can have him dictate a story to you, you write it, and read it back to him. There are all kinds of ways to read to kids, but be sure to do it in some form every day. Hope this helps!

S.

S.,

You are such a good person. It was great to read your words about you and Seth before I respond.

There is no "have to" in reading to Seth. If you read when you are exhaused and don't want to he will sense it. Maybe swith your thoughts to "I get to read to Seth..." and you will find that it is moe enjoyable.

Read while he is bathing, read while you are eating, just teach him from your heart and be good to yourself too.

Take lots of pictures of you and Seth together - doing fun, simple things.

Reading is important but not as important as missing out on talking to him.

My thoughts... oh, and do yoga and breathe and relax as best you can.

Blessings to you both.

don't feel guilty! some kids love to be read to, some don't.
check out the preschool section at the library. the berestain bears are great. they also have some that come with the cassette tape that they can listen and "read along".
since my kids are 20 and 14, I haven't checked that section out in a long time, but there are also the disney books etc. my kids, both boys, loved the berestain bears!

It would be nice but who has the time? I suggest that he watches educational programs like noggin, pbs and sprout. My 2 year old knows some of her letters just from watching sesame street. I also like www.starfall.org and www.learntoreadfree.com. I let my 5 year old work on the latter for about 30 min. daily. I'm not on a schedule either we just go with the flow. Maybe on Sun after you rest you guys can take a trip to the library they have early reading material. Your doing good!

We have been reading to our daughter since the day she came home from the hospital. It's a great way to expose them to language and develop their vocabulary. It doesn't have to be a huge time committment - 5 or 10 minutes at a time - maybe make it a part of a bedtime routine. If you don't have time to read, tell him stories you know or make some up while riding in the car, grocery shopping, etc. He might enjoy telling stories together - you start a story, he adds the next part...just have fun with it!

Try reading to him daily. Take him to the library and let him choose the books. Do not go out and spend a lot of money buying books. you also can ask the daycare provider if she reads to them during the day. The more reading they get the better they will be in school.

Good Luck

Here are some books your son might like:
Goodnight Gorilla, A Mother for Choco, The Cat in the Hat Comes Back, The Mysterious Tadpole, Curious George, Clifford, Goldilocks, Gingerbread Man, Jack and the Beanstalk, Little Red Riding Hood, and Clay Boy.

By the way, I'm 42 with a 2 year old and I work full time. Books are the one thing I can do with my son when I am exhausted and he's not. They are my salvation play activity. Good luck!

You definitely should be reading to him. It doesn't have to be daily. Some days I don't read at all to my little one and then others she and I read lots. But this is a great way to expand vocabulary and to start early phonics. Also the website www.starfall.com is a great early reading and alphabet recognition tool. I wouldn't let him use it excessively but many children love it and learn a lot about the alphabet that way. Also, are there others in your life who can also read to your little one. The things to do while reading is to ask him little questions about the pictures and the words. In a full way he learns vocabulary, grammar, reading comprehension and lots about the world. Some of our favorites for my daughter who is only 2 but these books are actually for early readers eg. 4-7 are: any of the cat in the hat series, Dora early readers, Thomas books, Toad and the Frog. I would look for books that your son is interested in. Bring him to the library and let him pick out books. A lot of helping a child to love reading is going with his or her interests. So while my little one is hooked on angelina ballerina, your little boy may have other interests. 4 and 5 are tricky because the child may be able to read a little and so the text needs to be simple but then again the simple board books have a plot that is too simple. If you go to your book store, you will also find lots of books in the early reader series.
Also, if you are a single mom by choice, there are two great groups in chicago for single moms by choice and you might like to attend some of the meetings. You will meet lots of women your age who have decided to have children and are either trying to conceive or adopt or have children. The group is a great resource and lovely women who really help each other. Many have a lot of experience and know what it is like to be a single mom. send me a note if you are interested in more info. good luck.

I found the best way to be sure to read to my little ones was to have a book that I'd read to them at bedtime. At that age a Dr. Seuss or short book is good each night or you can start a chapter book that you read a chapter or two (depending on the length) each night. It's a good way to connect (esp if you are working)one on one and wind down for the day.

Hi S.,

I would absolutely encourage you to read to your son, whenever you can. If you can do it daily, great. If not, don't beat yourself up.

We seem to be similar! I am also a single mother 41 yrs, with a 4 yr old son, without a lot of immediate friends with kids.

What I do with my son now is take him to the library, let him pick out X number of books and then I pick out X number of books that I think he would like. Then when we read them, I judge his reaction and adjust my choices appropriately. If it's a book he really loves (and I know because he keeps asking me to renew it), then many times I will buy it. He has a pretty big library of his own by now (but nowhere near the size of mine!!!). You'll have a much easier time picking out books if you start with topics of interest (my son: cats, math, and elevators!) and go from there. I go onto the CPL website (chipublib.org) and search "juvenile XXX" where XXX is the topic. Then, if you don't have a lot of time to spend at the library, you can just put them on hold and have them ready for pickup!

We do also read everything else - signs, food packaging labels, whatever. We play work games like thinking of all kinds of words that begin with the letter "C" or word association. Really, once you get your "interest" topic you can do all kinds of different stuff. When my son was totally into numbers and maps, we went to the maps floor at the library and I taught him all about the sounding maps (water depths). He still likes to go and pull those out.

Good luck! And have fun.

Yes, Yes Yes. I was an Early Childhood Education Teacher. (gave it up when I had kids and started doing in home daycare) Reading to your child every day is very important. You should start reading to your kids at birth. Believe it or not studies have shown that kids that are read to not only do better in school but have fewer behavior issues. Simple books are fine. Try 10 little Lady Bugs (great for learning to read and to start early math skills) or there are some great Dinasaure books like Dinosaurumpus, How do Dinousaurs Eat Their Food?, How do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon? These are all by Jane Yolen & Mark Teague. Another favorite is Stop Elephant Stop! by Andrea Shavick and Mark Marshall. My girls love these books so I'm sure your son will probably love them even more. Get in to the habit of reading at bedtime. This way you both can be laying down (or sitting up) and just spending some quiet time reading together. My husband and I have two girls and we switch off each night reading. One of us will read to our oldest while the other is reading to the little one. Once you get in to the routine of reading at bedtime it really becomes second nature. They don't mind going to bed a little earlier just so that we have time to read. It also helps kids wind down before they go to sleep.

Good luck. Trust me, this will be fun for both of you. That is until he wants you to read the same book over and over again because it's his favorite! lol That's okay to. It might drive you crazy but they actually get a great deal out of that as well.

READ EVERYTHING!!!! to him especially Dr.Suess...go to your local library and ask them......we read to our son everyday & EVERY night at bedtime (it is a great "day is done" routine), he witnesses us reading everyday. He has over 400 books (garage sales)I have bought him EVERY type of book even those considered "for girls". My son LOVES&ADORES READING!!!! he has just finished 1st grade and is reading at middle of 3rd grade level, he is a voracious reader!!! Never to late to start....remember to make "Reading" time EXCITING, never appear that it is a chore or that yu're guilty for not starting sooner....kids are VERY perseptive and pick up on these thing quickly. As for activities...spending time will your child, engaging him, playing with him is more beneficial and fun for him as well as memorable, than a mom who feels like she is tired and "MUST" be dragged around "for" her child. Stop worring if he is happy, growing, thriving then you ARE doing a GREAT JOB!!! We moms are toooo hard on ourselves. Sit back and ENJOY this time with him all to soon he WILL be a pre-teen/teenager and yuo will want these days back. Mine will be 8 soon and I want him to be 4 again (after he potty trained of course!). RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR CHILD!!

Yes, you should be reading to him everyday. (Keep in mind that I am a reading teacher, so this is my passiion) But, there is also a lot of research out there that backs this up. ...and it is a great time to bond/have fun with your child. I highly recommend for you to read the book "Reading Magic" by Mem Fox. It is a quick read and will give you great advice on how and why you should read to a young child and it will also give you age appropriate book title suggestions. Don't feel guilty and hang in there. I have two boys of my own, and I know how overwhelming it can be!!! Happy reading! :)

YES!!! Read!!! If he is not used to you reading I would begin with books that have topics that interest him, and then worry about other titles. There are lists online of the best picture books for children. Go to www.familyeducation.com it is a great site and has lots of tips on how to read to your child. Reading trains the brain and as a teacher at the middle school level the kids that are really behind. When I ask them did your parents read to you...the answer was usually no or not much...In the long run this will impact him tremendously. Reading helps with so many areas including problem solving so, do it daily and often. Having a schedule is important too. I suggest that you begin there and decide where you will incorporate it even if it is at bedtime. We are a busy working family so, I know about time but this is one thing you can not leave out trust me! I can share so many stories. I work in an urban district and serve the poorest kids and reading changes so much!

In a word, YES!
You should be reading to your child for at least 20 minutes everyday. A great time to do this is part of a naptime and bedtime routine. I have a 4 year old that we've been reading to since probably 6 months old or sooner. We read to him a naptime and bedtime and easily spend 45 minutes to hour a day reading books. He loves them and has an enormous vocabulary!
It's never too late to start.
If you're looking for recommendations, try looking at the children's section at Barnes and Noble. You could ask for ideas or simply look at their section on award winning children's books.
Our son is really into Jack and the Beanstalk, Hansel and Gretel, Alexander and the No-Good Very Bad Day, Jumanji, the Jungle Book, books from the Cars Movie and Finding Nemo... Shel Silverstien books... that should give you some ideas. Our son also loves books about trains and trucks. Think about your son's interests and go from there.
My husband and I both work full time and have different schedules, meaning there's usually only one of us around for bedtime, and we have an 11 month old also. It's a challenge to do it all. But this is one of the most important things you can do for your child. Plus it's one of the most enjoyable parts of our day : )

you should try to read to him everyday. any books that he seems interested in will do. anything at all. take him to the library and let him choose enough books to fill up a bag. make it part of your bedtime routine. little kid books are quick and a nice way to unwind.

S.,
I just read through the other posts really quickly and it seems you got some good advice. I just want to say though that if you haven't been reading to your son since birth and still can't manage it every day, relax. It doesn't make you a bad mom and it doesn't have to set your child back. Of course it's great to expose our kids to as much learning as we can, but there's a lot of pressure to be super mom and sometimes that just makes you feel bad because it's easy to fall short! Do what you can. Try reading to him at bedtime - I find that's the easiest way to fit it in if the day's busy. And it's a nice routine that sometimes results in my daughter falling asleep! We snuggle in her bed and read - nice for us both. Sometimes I could fall asleep, too. We also do silly rhyming games in the car, sing songs, etc. -- all good for language development. There is no one right way to do things and just the fact that you're concerned means your a mom with her heart in the right place. Good luck to you both!

Yes, you should be reading to him every day. I'd say for at least 20 minutes. At this point, you want pretty simple books with lots of pictures. If he likes the Backyardigans, you can read him books on that. You can also go to the library and let him pick out some books. My son is 4.5 and his 2 favorite books now are Peter Pan and The Perfect Nest. Last night, we went to Borders and he picked out 2 Spiderman books.

After about 2 weeks of reading to him, you can ask him if he can read to you and you'll be amazed at how much he can "read" back to you. He really isn't reading, but it's all about memory. He'll look at the picture and know exactly what you have read to him. Every 3 or so weeks, he'll ask for another book. So, going to the library would work out great.

I read to him as part of the bedtime routine. He loves books so much that he no longer wants toys in the car, he wants to bring one of his books.

S.

You should absolutely be reading to him everyday, it's so very important. Don't feel guilty just start some sort of schedule 20 minutes a day to read to him. I have read to my Daughter 30 minutes minimum a day since she was about 1 & 1/2 before that just for short periods throughout the day because she was too little. I have to say the reading has paid off she has read her first book to me and she was 4 1/2 when she did, it was truly priceless. I have alot of the girly books however you can look online at Barnes & Noble or Borders they will have a list of the top books for preschoolers. The Pigeon books by Mo Willems are sooo cute (boy or girl), My Daughter also loves Mouse Paint and Mouse count, There really are so very many I am drawing a blank. You will get lots of responds because there are some great books out there. If he is in preschool ask the teacher he/she will be able to offer suggestions also check the library.
Try to take it easy, this time goes by so very quickly. You do the best you can, Reach out to teachers and other parents, we truly all want the best for our own and everyone elses children. You have support you just have to ask it's there!
Good luck and Happy Reading

V.

As a teacher, I always recommend reading to the little ones. It helps develop language and a love for reading! But I completely understand where you are coming from about feeling like you don't have time! It always seems like that is the first thing to get cut after a long day!

What I did starting when my daughter was about a year old, was start a routine. She would pick out a book, and we would either read the whole book or a few pages if it was a long one. This was always done right before bed--it served as a winding down activity, too. Also, sometimes it helps to get books on tape/CD's so that if you're particularly exhausted, all you need to do is flip the pages, and someone else does the reading for you!

I am sure you are doing a wonderful job!! :)

I can tell you that with our older son, we started reading to him nightly at about 18M. Sometimes it was just sitting and letting him turn the pages. By the time he turned two, he was "reading" books with us - in the way that we would start, "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish..." and he'd shout "Blue Fish". He loved to read with us.

I agree with the other poster, just make it a part of the night routine. We used to get him ready for bed and let him pick THREE books that we would read together. That's now been cut down to ONE and he can "read" quietly on his own for 15 minutes. He's turning four this month.

Our second son is 21M and he's just starting to enjoy the book-time with us. He's more interested in turning the pages, but it's a nice, quiet, calming time before bed.

T.

OH - some favorite books...One Fish Two Fish, Good Night Moon, any picture books that you can point out and say the word with him. Sounds simple, but at four, he'll love to show you how much he knows. Then you can work into some stories. Some favorites of Jacob's (our 4 y/o) - Where The Wild Things Are; Three Billy Goats Gruff; anything with trucks, fire trucks, police cars; Mommy's Are For...; Cat in the Hat; Green Eggs and Ham...

You don't have to read to hi daily, perhaps 3 or 4 days a week. Also, get some flash cards for him to learn to read, speall and count. Kids really enjoy these. For change up teach him how to count coins, fruit, etc.

And, mom, don't be so hard on yourself. Being a single working mom or a mom period is hard but rewarding work. We sometimes don't realize that we grow with our kids and as I am sure you have heard, they do not come with an instruction manual. The main ingredient is that you love and care for him.

Have a great day and goodness sake, get some rest! (smile)

If you can make the time, yes! If it's not possible, play word games in the car, during meals, on walks, whatever. Language building doesn't just come from books. The fact that you are concerned says a lot about the good job you are already doing. He is at the age where he might want to "read" to you so get some easy to follow picture books and have fun with it. My son just turned 5 and he loves the Sandra Boynton books. We got "Fifteen Animals" recently and I love it because he is also learning numbers.