Reaching the "Terrible Twos" at 19 Months!

My oldest son used to lie in the floor and beat his fist (or his head) against the floor. We walked away and refused to acknowledge it. After a while he just stopped. They all want to assert some kind of control over their lives and it seems at first by throwing fits they get the attention they think they want. I understand you can't walk away during a diaper change but you can either not change it, or let him sleep in the clothes he doesn't want to change etc.

It worked for me.

Welcome to the terrible twos (this stage actually starts well before age 2)! I have a 16 month old and am experiencing some of the same things. Please know that this is just a stage and it will get better (I also have a 3 year old). I am reading the book "Happiest Toddler on the Block." It is a terrific book for explaining the stages toddlers from 1-4 years go through so that you understand why they do certain things. The book also explains the best ways to deal with these behaviors (I am only halfway thru the book). Otherwise, just have patience, don't let these things upset you, and praise the good behavior that you want to increase. In a few months, things will improve :)

That sure is a tough one! I recommend the book Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland (should be at your library). It explains what is going on with your child physically (in addition to emotionally) to cause the hitting and screaming and gives advice on how to deal with it. It has really helped me with my children.
Good luck!

Your son is begging you for boundries. I am the mother of 2 yr. old boy/girl twins. I prayed for them for 11.5 yrs.. We had a hard time getting these children here & they are very desired. I am also 44 yrs. old! I said all that to give me a little step up when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. Also, I was brought up in a nice Christian family & I am a Christian lady.

I started "spanking" my kids when they were 3 mos. old in the diaper changer when they would try to roll over or kick or whatever.... I say that term "spanking" very loosely. When they were at such a young age & seemed to be squirming, I let them know that was NOT acceptable. These small actions as a small child have paid off immensly. I have NEVER had a problem with diapers & my kids are now 2 yrs. 8 mos. old. Matter of fact, they go get their diapers & wipes, & bring them to me & lay down on the floor waiting on me to change them.

The tight boundries I have put on my kids in other areas are also paying off. Some parents start the discipline later but the kids are too smart at a later age. They've figured out what buttons to push to make you fussy. Don't give in. You are investing in his future. This investment, like the stock market starts paying dividends real soon. You'll be thankful you did.

Good luck. J.

I took the advice of my daycare worker on this. When we first started with her she told us that in 20 years or more she's never had any terrible twos. How? The moment they start acting out, she send them to bed and tells them they can't come out until they calm down. Her philosophy is that they're welcome to throw fits, but she doesn't have to be around them when they do (and she tells them that too). Now, my four-year-old is a master at calming herself down.

As for the terrible twos, sure there were some power struggles, but that's what's supposed to happen at that stage of development. If you relate to it like it's normal (and it is), it's not any more pleasant, but it is less stressful. Keep reminding yourself, he's can't communicate his needs, but you can. Tell him what you want from him. Repeat generously. Remind yourself that he doesn't think like you do....actually they never do that. Good luck.