Ranting 1-Year Old

Have you ruled out motion sickness? I had a friend whose kid did this for years until she was finally old enough to explain to her mom that she felt sick every time she rode in the car.

My son is turning one in a couple of weeks. He also hates being in the carseat. I think my son is super active and hates being strapped seated anywhere. He also hates the highchair and stroller.

My son seems to do a bit better if someone is sitting with him next to his carseat but when I am out alone with him and there is no one sitting next to him to entertain him then he fusses and cries and screams. I would also give him toys and he would throw them away. Luckily the pacifier works for us to keep him calm. He still fuss and would try to scream with the pacifier in his mouth but he would eventually stop with it in his mouth. I am not advocating the pacifier especially if your son doesn't use one or have been weaned off from it.

I am hoping that once we turn his carseat to forward facing he will be better. Maybe it is because he is backward facing he gets bored or it feels weird when the car is moving that he is looking backwards?

Good luck !

I strongly recommend The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp (you can also google this for some great little videos showing him putting his techniques into action). He suggests empathizing strongly with your little guy, and in his videos he shows you how to do it. Often babies will be able to settle down and submit to life's requirements once they are convinced their parents have really understood their objections.

Good luck! This isn't an easy problem.

ditto Laurie.
Observe HIS cues... and go by his indications.

Also, at any cusp age change, kids get tweaked. They are changing. They don't know how to cope or express, articulately, themselves.

Does he nap? He seems over-tired as well. Over tired kids get more tweaked... and fussy... and actually, over tired kids cannot fall asleep better, and wake more, and get more 'hyper.'
He needs to nap, if he is not.

And, he may just be OVER-stimulated, in conjunction with being over-tired. These 2 combined, make for a fussy child.... and he probably gets even more tweaked being confined in the car.
Get him a cute helium balloon... and tie it to something in the car where he can't get tangled in it. That is what I did with my son, at that age. It kept him 'happy' in the car. But ONLY use it in the car. Helium balloons last a long time. Tell him it is HIS balloon, for in the car.

Him pushing AWAY any toys/his siblings playing with him/his bottle... are all signs of frustration and/or tiredness... and NOT what he wants... and him pushing them/the toys away is him TELLING you to stop it. Just leave him alone.... or he may just want NO one bothering him. My son is like that... and we taught him how to SAY it... when he wants to be NOT bothered or played with. Or teach your son sign language... so he can 'tell' you things too.
ie: Stop, hungry, tired, quiet, go away, etc.

good luck,
Susan

Our daughter went through this for a while. She hated being strapped in rather than able to "walk" around. She would squirm to not have to get into the seat. Then she would scream. We used diversions.

We would give her a heads up. "We get to go in the car!" " We are going to the store to get some apples!" We used the tone of our voices to make everything sound like an adventure!

We noticed she did not like the sun in her eyes, so we got a pair of sunglasses. She always played some sort of childrens music and sang. We also asked her lots of questions so she knew we had not forgotten her back there. We pointed out familiar sights when possible.

We also did try to add some new toys every once in a while.

It took a lot of effort, but eventually she calmed down. I can only remember one time she cried and screamed straight for an hour in the car. We had other people with us, and we had her placed in the very last row of seats. It was dark and I sat next to her, but she was not pleased. It was a ride from hell..

This is typical behavior from a kid that has learned to be on the move. He doesn't want to sit still and is throwing a temper tantrum about it. Pushing away all attempts to console him is a dead givaway for a tantrum. Unfortunately, there are times in life when one must sit still. Riding in a car is one of them and he may as well get used to it now. Just ignore him and stop trying to console him. If he's going to throw a fit anyway, why waste time? Just buckle him in and get going to your destination. If he cries, he cries. It shouldn't take long for him to figure it out.

If he is still throwing fits in a couple of days it's time to up the ante. Plan a trip to the park specially for this purpose. When you arrive at the park, allow everyone out and if he has calmed down by then he can get out too (lots of praise for calming down and being a happy boy). However, if he is still crying and making a fuss, I'd tell him that only happy kids get to leave the car. People come to the park to play and have fun and no one wants to listen to you screaming and throwing a fit. When you are happy, you may get out. Park in the shade and leave the windows down (except his) and stand patiently outside the car where he can easily see you and you can see the other kids playing, and wait for him to calm down. About every 5 mins, pop your head in and repeat the rule that only happy boys get to go play. Some kids are more stubborn than others, but you need to be more stubborn than them! :) Be brave!

It is a phase where he wants to be on the move and doesn't want to be strapped in. You'll have to experiment to see if there is anything you can do to keep him quiet, or you may just have to do your best to tune out the screaming, but whatever you do DO NOT give in to the rule that seats must be buckled when the car is running. Let him out just once and you will have a never ending battle on your hands. Stay consistent and he will figure it out and learn to accept it.

R., you have recieved some great answers and the one about motion sickness is making me think about my own grandchild while turned back vs. forward it sounds like him. One thing my son did was pull in by a Highway Patrol Officer while on the road. Talked to the officer and then the officer came and really firmly talked to the child about why she had to wear a sealt belt and what the rules dad and mom have obey just like she has to obey. He checked her seat to be sure it was ok. Then told her to be good. This changed everything becasue when she gets fussy they remind her what the officer said.
Car seats are so confining for safety but small bodies don't think about that part. One child to make her stay in the carseat they got a dvd player that can only be on when in the seat belt. It has worked great for the past year and one can live with vegie tales and planet earth instead of a cryig child, while driving!

Hi R.,
I'm sorry to hear how hard a time your having with the baby and carseat. I've discussed this issue with before with a friend of mine whose kids were the same way when they were young, which is opposite of my child, who cant get enough of the carseat and gets mad when we don't get into the car when we go outside.. Her children are now early teens and still don't care much for the car because they get carsick! So our assumption was they've had carsickness since they were babies and that's why they hated the carseats. Not sure really what one does in that situation, because i don't know if you want to give drugs to him, however there are probably some homeopathic remedies that you may be able to give him before you go on drives and that may help him in the seat. I hope this helps you and the little guy out some.
Good luck!