It's been a while since I posted about my two-year-old not napping or doing quiet time but here goes again.
What is the best way to transition into quiet time that worked for you? Most moms I know have got it figured out but not this one!
I tried last week and she screamed for 25 minutes and I couldn't take it. I went into the room and she was laying down and I felt awful. Like the only reason she laid down was that she felt defeated :-(
It wasn't worth the battle since she goes to sleep wonderfully at night.
DH will still hold her for an hour and have her sleep on him, while my inlaws have it down pat where she goes down awake! I envy them!
Since I don't get one break from the second she gets up until DH comes home at night, I need to do something. I do feel it is necessary for mother and child to get some separate time, even if it's just 30 minutes.
I'm guessing I have to be consistent with quiet time. Do it daily and give her things to play with. I might also wait until we transition to a toddler bed so she feels she has command of her own room.
But yeah, I spent the whole summer having her nap in the car and being exhausted.
Sigh.
ETA: DH helsps out immensely. I can make dinner in peace when he gets home and he does the bedtime ritual. Oh, and yes, DH is wonderful on weekends. He takes DD out both days and does his own version of quiet time--having her sleep on him...this is me, not him.
Perhaps try to have quiet time somewhere other than her room. You go off and have your 30 minutes of peace while she plays in the family room or colors at the kitchen table or watches an episode of Dora in the living room. Good luck.
*Well nice to know your DH helps.
So the key thing now, is to express to him... that you need a BREAK... besides while doing dinner. Actually go out by yourself, hang out at a coffee shop, read a book etc. Or have Hubby take your child out on weekends. My Hubby does that. If not, I go BONKERS. My kids are real active and verbal, even if they are mostly good kids. I still go bonkers.
Make it a ONCE a week thing... and you and Hubby agree. It is good for the Wife and as a Mom, to have your own time.
Oh adding this too: when my daughter is having a hard time going to sleep, even if she is tired... I massage her feet. That helps her to relax. If a kid is OVER-tired... they actually have a harder time to calm down or sleep. My son, when tired... actually gets more "hyper." But I know him and know that that is WHEN... he is actually VERY tired or over-tired.
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Quite time to me... is doing quiet calm things.
I don't sequester my kids in a certain room.
They can be or do whatever or wherever they want, but "quiet" time is quiet time... and for Mommy too. I tell them, it is for ME, too. WE ALL DO IT TOGETHER.
My kids are now 5 and 9... and I have always done it that way.
It works for me and my kids.
BUT... if one of my kids is having a bad day or bad moment, fine.
Per naps, well my kids have always napped. It was just the routine I have had since they were babies and even through age-stages and transitions.
I didn't battle about it.
They didn't really battle about it either... because it was a daily routine.
Of course my kids are 5 and 9 now... so naps are obsolete. And because they are in school. BUT... my 5 yr. old son, on weekends, if he is tired he will nap. And my daughter even last year, would sometimes fall asleep.
I mostly just go by their cues... and "nap" was always a daily routine. So it was like auto-pilot for my kids.
Your Hubby... once he comes home, NEEDS to help.
I am a SAHM and work part-time... my Hubby works. BUT he is a PART of the house, a part of the family, it is his kids too... and a Husband whether he works or not, is not "exempt" from doing things in the house or for the kids etc. They are not hotel, guests.
TELL your Husband, and make it a "routine"... that after he comes home and puts his things away etc., that YOU are off the clock, even for at least 1/2 hour. Talk with him about it first, calmly... because Men don't often even think... about it, unless it is brought up. AND they CANNOT read a woman's mind.
You poor thing, I remember those days and it is hard, I used to just want 30 mins with no one needing my constant attention.
have you tried something were she has to stay in her room ( your choice if you choose to fight about her staying in her bed or if it's just in her room),
But you keep the door open so she can see that you are sitting right on the other side of the doorway, reading, or cutting coupons or just doing something boring. and if she tries to engage you, you just tell her over and over and over again " this is quiet time, stay in your room"
It's hard but if you can do this for a week or two, she will get it and will learn to stay in her room.
I like Elizabeth Pantley's books for gentel sleep training.
Being consistent and ignoring the fits was key for us. If you can't bear the screaming get earplugs. She's just trying to see if she can get out of it if she cries long enough. Don't teach her that she can.
If she's already 2 then she's really too big for a toddler bed. She does need to be in a regular bed by now.
I think it is important for her body to have rest time. I would just be consistent. She is the child, you are the adult who knows what her body needs. She is not able to know how not resting will effect her growth and intelligence. She needs to rest and you need to have a break.
Have you thought about a Mother's Day Out program? They are programs for moms who want to have 1-3 days per week to do their shopping, doc appointments, deep cleaning time, etc...and the kids only enroll for one day or how ever many days per week the mom wants. It is not child care and is usually pretty reasonable. It is set up so the mom can get a break to get stuff done, even if it's to take a nap herself.
I loved ours. The ladies were so nice and loving. Since it's in a church they are just a different species of care giver. I think all moms should use them.
I gate my son in his room for quiet time. I set a timer outside and tell him when it goes off quiet time is over.h
