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More people get notices and fill out paperwork and go to interviews then the actual number of people that get the visa. The fact that your husband's family got so far is a good sign that they may eventually come to US. There are many requirements they need to fulfill but they are not that outlandish so many people do get to the point where they are awarded with a permanent US residence. So get ready.
Another food for though: When you marry a person - you marry the whole family. If it is the custom and the culture that your husband needs to support his relatives - that this is what you married into. Too late to fret.

I think this is a battle your husband needs to take with his family. And it is up to you to make sure he understands how his wife feels.

It is a long stressful process and like the others have said, don't get upset yet. I believe that most people need to start their residency requests in their own country unless they have some sort of circumstances as to why they can be in the US. My husband is Swedish and we are planning on obtaining residency for him in the US so that our family can be close to my parents for a period of our lives. During this time, he will need to be in Sweden and only come to the US with express permission from the embassy for an emergency situation. So until this is all done, we are staying in Sweden.

I myself am a Polish immigrant to the US. Please have some understanding for how difficult it is to try to move to improve your life. It takes alot of guts to pick and move your whole life. I have done it twice and am sure I have shaved some years of my life with all the stress. Good Luck to you, I hope it works out well for all parties involved.--V

My husband is the child of Asian immigrants (actually Pacific Islander). His mother got her visa and came here in the mid-60s and then served as the sponsor for a few of her siblings and cousins throughout the years after she married (because how crappy would it be to be in a whole new country with no family whatsoever?!). For a few months at a time, each new-to-the-US person would stay in the basement at my MIL's house while my husband was young--they did eventually move out once they got their own feet under them (granted most of them moved into homes in the same block or neighborhood, which was a new concept to me). This is what family does, though--especially family in pretty much every country outside the US. Each of these family members came here to make a better life for themselves and every single one did. They became nurses and lawyers and accountants and engineers. And they ALL became naturalized citizens of the U.S.A. and started their own families with kids that have gone on to be nurses, accountants, lawyers, teachers, business people.

I am caucasian. Born and raised in the US. I have very little relationship with family outside my immediate family. After spending the last 15 years with my husband and therefore his family, I realized that I'VE BEEN MISSING OUT!!! These people are each other's best friends and support. Even friends are treated as family. They hang out all the time, but without the feeling of "ugh, we have to spend time together AGAIN?!" the way I feel about my own family. This is a big difference between other cultures and us loner Americans. Now, my husband and I are not as into all the hanging out as some of the others in the family because we do have our own lives with our own house and own kids and our own responsibilities. We set our own limits. And that's ok. His family accepts us anyway...unconditionally.

Perhaps we could all stand to learn something from the way other cultures treat and respect what "family" is all about.

wait... I am confused. Are you concerned because they are moving to the USA and would be in close proximity or would they be moving into your home?
If you are having issues with them just living in the USA (Not in your home) perhaps you should think about how your husband is feeling about all of this. His family is obviously not near and his relationship has been strained from this. Perhaps he remembers when he was younger and they were closer and how he enjoyed having family near to him. If you have a good relationship with your family, perhaps he just wants to keep a good relationship with his family as well.
If the issue is that they will be moving into your home, things might get a little more complicated. It is difficult to live with new people, especially for the first couple of years. If there is question about finances and financial pressures coming from the new additions to the home, maybe you should talk to your husband about who would be financially responsible. Would they live with you for the rest of their lives, or just until they were able to get a home of their own?
I would not panic about his family moving here. Let the walls down and embrace it. If he is happy about this, then you should be as well, just to see your husband happy. If he is fretting and miserable about it, that is something else entirely.
From what I can tell, it is for people who already met the qualifications for a Visa, and were chosen because of where they are from. They are very real and it is very permanent. But I just looked at the website for it and read about it. It may not be ideal for you, but make the best of it.

I don't know about visas or getting into the U.S. I've heard that at least in some circumstances the person/people wanting in has to have a state side sponsor. Are they asking you to do that? If so you would be personally involved with them. If not you would not be responsible for financially supporting them.

Otherwise I doubt that you'd have to be involved at all. Seems kinda selfish to not want to help them out but then I don't know the circumstances. The ones you mentioned don't have to prevent you from helping in other ways. Tho you would have to figure out how to have a relationship with your in-laws. Since you don't know them why do you think having them around as in-laws would be difficult. They could be really nice people who would greatly appreciate being part of your extended family. After all they raised the man you married and you love him. What does he think about your attitude? It could damage your marriage.

Later: Oh, S. S. None of us, M., Jo, and Sandra said you were racists. We wondered why you weren't more open minded and sympathetic to your husband's family, even to your husband. I think "you doth protest too much." And I think that you have made some assumptions that are most likely not true. I suggest that if you could have a more open and loving heart you could work this out.

Okay, to other people's defense, I think perhaps people may be getting confused with your wording. If you read your post, it kind of sounds harsh as to not want to live with and embrace your extended family. Most of your frustration sounds like its coming from inconvenience and your exclamatory, "NO"s. It sounds a little close-minded when you say you don't want to "deal with an extended family". :( You only mention finances at the end. So not sure where your stress is coming from.
If it is about money, I totally understand. We are doing okay, but with so many expenses (daycare, grad school, 2 mortgages, etc.) we are not saving anything. So I feel for you on that level.
On the upside, an extended family can bring a lot of help and love into the home. I'm also asian, and I understand about people coming over and staying for a few months at a time as they transition to the states. It's very common practice among asians. Its really expected that family takes care of family. If they do come, they can help with the kids, cleaning, cooking, etc. If I'm stereotyping—we are not a lazy bunch! Most likely, they will want to get on their feet as soon as possible.
Try not to freak out and go over expectations with your hubby. Talk about what will be manageable and what will be stressful. At least then both your expectations will be out on the table, even if you don't agree. Hopefully you'll find some happy median to the situation.
Good luck! And try and see the upside (even if there are downsides, too).

Nobody is putting you down. You are just not hearing what you wanted to hear. Sometimes the things that are the hardest to hear are the things we really need to listen to and think about.

S. S, I am in a mixed marriage. So maybe you should think before you write. My husband is from the Carribean and I am of European descent and we have been through this situation exactly. Seven of his brothers and sisters and his mother immigrated after we were married.
You always make room for family and you make it work. I promise you, they are not trying to stay with your forever and mooch off of you and your husband. Both my husband I work full time and it was nice to have help with the cooking and housework for awhile. Not to mention the benefit to the kids having extended family around.
In terms of financial supports, once we counted the family into our family size I was able to get WIC and a LINK card for a while and that took care of feeding everyone. Especially if you know how to shop.
Once your family gets here they will likely link into their community here and they get support from their community and make friends and make their own way. Everyone is on their own now. Open up and calm down.

So "white" people never have to deal with their extended families? Kind of racist and totally untrue remark.

How wonderful it would be for your children to know their paternal grandparents and learn more about their Asian culture.

In the Asian culture elders are revered and respected for their wisdom and life experiences. America, with no doubt, would be a better place if as a society we did the same.

Who said they would be living with you permanently?
What business is it of yours if they apply for a visa to come to the USA anyway. They are grown people, they don't need your permission or blessing.

Show your husband some respect and some respect for your in-laws. You make it sound like they practice ritual cannibalism or something.

Maybe you just misworded this post.

Stereotyping your own family or have they said they are moving in with you?

It is a given they got it but they don't actually have to move in with you, or the same area. It is a big country.

There are a mess of different visas so without more detail I couldn't give you any more detail.

I checked online - Have they been granted the lottery visa or are they just applying?
It looks like the application period is Oct 4th - Nov 5th, so it would seem they are just applying.
http://www.google.com/search?q=lottery+visa+usa&ie=ut...

But - ....don't get excited yet.
"The U.S. Department of State received 8.7 million entries last year, of which the Department of State rejected over 2.5 million entries for not complying with the guidelines and regulations. Based on historical data, we anticipate that over 12 million people would send in their entries for the DV-2011."
http://greencardlottery.visapro.com/DV-Green-Card-Lottery...

The US grants 50,000 visas each year via the "diversity lottery". There are pre-qualifiers / requirements to apply. However, ANYONE who is determined eligible and meets the requirements can apply. If their name is drawn, yes they receive a "green card" and are granted permanent residence and work status in the USA. Forever.

But they only grant 50,000 out of 6.2 million eligible applicants in 2010. So last year ONE applicant out of every 124 eligible applicant was granted a greencard

If either spouse wins the lottery, the other is entitled to derivative status.

I would have a conversation with hubby about what his expectations are as well as what he thinks the expectations are of his parents in terms of what your responsibilities will be if they move to the US.

But, it's a long shot.... so at this point I wouldn't loose sleep over it. They have a year from the point they are selected to transfer their residency and 'apply' for green card status.

Lottery is no guarantee. Only a certain quota from each part of the world is granted-Yearly.
They would have a better chance of getting it from your husband, who sounds like he is here on legal terms?
It is time to spell it out to your husband - how you feel I mean.
Good Luck!