A.D.
I'm in almost exactly the same boat. What drives me to try to find my birthparents is the need for medical information, not only for me, but for my children. I am from NJ, and the records are still closed and SEALED. I have a search ongoing with a private investigator thru the adoption agency, but so far, almost a year, and no finds. It's frustrating.
I find myself just wanting to say, "Thank you" for being willing to give me life and for being willing to let me have a GREAT life with my parents (my mom and dad). If we could find them, and they did not want any contact, I would be more than happy with a medical history (as extensive as possible) and would not "bother" them again. If they did want some sort of contact, I'd be happy to meet, but I wouldn't expect a "relationship".
The day I held my firstborn, a wonderful DD, I imagined my birth mother (for the first time really) and thought about how there was NO WAY you could take this baby from my arms. I cried. I thought about how hard it must have been to give up a child. Or, maybe it wasn't for her. Who knows. I also know that I would think of my child all the time, or at least on his or her birthday. (Mine is coming up in a couple weeks...and I do wonder if my birthmother thinks of me on that day). I only started to think about any of this after I had children of my own.
Good luck to all of you.