Question for Those Who Have or Are Going Through Perimenopause

Updated on May 08, 2009
B.L. asks from Ojai, CA
30 answers

I'm 43 years old and I believe I've started to go through perimenopause. As I am adopted I do not know when my biological mother went through this process, so I have no idea if this is early or late for my genetics. I have noticed over the past 6 months a radical change in my periods. They are now very heavy, sometimes with blood clots, and I get a lot of cramps (which I never had before). The first day of my periods are so heavy, I have ruined clothes as a result. I also have pain when I ovulate, which I never had before, and throughout my cycle I have shooting pains in my breasts which I had before but not to this degree.

I have talked to my OB and he feels it is normal. To calm me I had a pelvic ultrasound and nothing out of order was found. I did have a mammogram last summer, and again all was normal. Blood tests all normal.

So I wonder if these changes are due to perimenopause. Has anybody else had them? If so, is there anything I can do to help these symptoms? It's just made me hyper aware of my cycle, and it's really uncomfortable. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks,
B.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Wow, thank you everybody for the amazing responses!! It is a relief to hear this all so normal, and great to hear all the fabulous resources for keeping things more in balance. I did end up going to my OB who referred me back to my endocrinologist. My endo ran a bunch of tests, and my FSH (ovulating hormone?) is high, which means I am in the beginning stages of menopause. He also said my progesterone is low and estrogen high, another indicator. He wants to try me on hormone replacement therapy, but I want to do some more research before commencing. He does do bio-identical replacement therapy, which I've heard is the best if you do it at all. I'd like to try some of the suggestions for relief of symptoms before I become attached to another prescription. Thanks again for such a wealth of information!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am an "older mom" of an adopted son so I never went thru a pregnancy and don't even know if that's relevant. But I can tell you that when I was going thru various signs (depression, etc.) my gynocologist did a blood test that tells you if in fact you are perimenopausel. And how far along. At the time, about 10 years ago, perimenopause was not even talked about. Fairly new in the discussion world. If you need a shoulder I would be honored (and experienced) to help with any advice.
N.
____@____.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am so eager to see responses! I was just waiting to call my doctor to report the shooting breast pain. Never considered that it might be associated with perimenopause. Have had the same tests including a biopsy, all normal. Looking forward to any suggestions. Thanks for posting.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.Y.

answers from San Diego on

I had the same thing happen to me. It doesn't last a real long time before the periods start to go away for good. I was a light bleeder then all of a sudden I was heavy and a 7 day bleeder. It was hard for me to deal with. Now I'm threw it all. Yes this is very normal.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

B.,
Yes, you are going through perimenopause. There is nothing "peri" about it, I am sure men must have come up with this name. You are getting some excellent advice from so many. So rather than go through all of my experiences with it, I would recommend some things to get you through it: 1) Don't be afraid to get a second opinion on your options for getting through this without losing your mind. 2)If you have a mate, constantly keep your communication lines open. Do not be afraid to share this with them. They will have more patience with you if you keep them in the loop. 3)Different things will work at different times as you move through this time in your life. Try different remedies, when one stops working or doesn't work at all, try another. 4)Read as much as you can on the subject, being informed, and educated on the matter helps a lot. You feel empowered. 5)If you bite off someone's head that you love; such as your husband's, friends, parents, siblings, coworkers, total strangers,and your children that you love so much, DON'T be afraid to apologize, they will forgive you. 6)Form a support group,a good friend, sista, and/or keep writing on Mamasource, whatever it takes to keep you sane. 7)EXERCISE! Great relief. 8)SEX. Better relief! 9)Do something for yourself, whatever that may be. Walking on the beach, reading a book, watching a movie, playing with your kids, cooking, exercising, shopping, doing crossword puzzles, sudoku, take a luxurious bath with candlelight, etc. You get the idea. 10)Last, but not least, nurture the Spiritual side of you. Sometimes we forget this part, and it is very important in making us a complete person.
(I feel like this is a top 10 list)
YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS AND BE READY FOR MENOPAUSE...and that is another story for another time.

Hope this helps. Oh yes, Laugh long and hard, you'll need that sense of humor.

E.:)

1 mom found this helpful

S.I.

answers from San Diego on

Hi B.,

Perimenopause is not a disease. That being said, this process is different for every woman and lasts a variable number of years. Sometimes women with your symptoms are in the early stages of developing fibroids. There are many natural approaches that successfully reverse these problems, including acupuncture and homeopathy. See if you can find a solid practitioner in your area. If an acupuncturist, interview them to find out if they specialize in women's health issues. I also have the name of a great homeopath in Santa Monica I can refer you to if you e-mail me.

Best wishes,

S. I., L.Ac.
Lotus Wellspring Healthcare
456 E. Mission Road, Suite 100
San Marcos, CA 92069
###-###-####
____@____.com
www.lotuswellspring.com

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B. ~ I experienced all of the same syptoms you describe plus hot flashes and horrible mood swings. I have thought since I was in my mid to late 30's that I was perimenopausal. My doctor suggested Evening Prim Rose Oil which is purchased at any drug store, vitamin store, or grocery store, target, anywhere they sell vitamins. It is fantastic. I have no symptoms whatsoever. Since it is a vitamin, I can take it every day for the rest of my life. I never had back pain, tenderness in my breasts, cramps, hot flashes and especially not moodiness any longer. I love it and highly recommend it to everyone.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, B.,

I started to experience perimenopause when I was 37. My main symptom was a shortened cycle. My cycle length abruptly dropped from 28 days to 23 days. I think that I felt slightly more uncomfortable premenstrual symptoms for a few months. A year later, my Follicular Stimulating Hormone (FSH) and Estrogen 2 (E2) levels went way up. Based on the dramatic increases, I thought that I would not be able to have any kids. Fortunately for me, I had a child when I was 40 1/2 and another, amazingly and naturally, when I was just six weeks short of my 42nd birthday.

I'm sorry that Cheri, another respondent, has had trouble with male OB/GYNs. I've experienced the opposite. My male OB/GYNs have been great; some of my female OB/GYNs have been terrible (inconsiderate, judgmental and not knowledgeable).

Good luck. Hope you feel better soon.

Lynne E

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

May I suggest a second opinion from a FEMALE doctor. Male doctors have a habit of not listening to women, especially about menopause. Heavy periods can be a sign of changing hormonal levels, they can also be from fibroids, which might not show up on ultrasounds. I had to have a D&C to get a diagnois of polyps and fibroids. The size of the fibroid was guesstimated from preop physical and the photos taken during the D&C and they were WAY off when I had a hysterectomy six months later. I had one the size of a grapefruit and my sister had one the size of a basketball and they did not show up on normal tests. So go find a good OB/GYN female doctor that specializes in menopausal related problems. Then you will know for sure.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,
I just turned 40 this year and was diagnosed with perimenopause at 37 although I believe I started to get some of the symptoms at 35. In addition to my periods changing, some of the symptoms I experienced were night sweats, awful mood swings (especially depression), vaginal dryness, and lessened desire for sex. A great book that I bought is called: What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Perimenopause. They discuss hormone replacement therapy, specifically Progesterone creams.
May I suggest you visit you OB again and have your hormones checked? Once we discovered I was low on all spectrums (estrogen, progesterone, etc) I was put on hormone replacement therapy, with bioidenticals,and I felt worlds better in about a month.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

i am not going through peirmenopause, but i have wicked periods and i was recommended pineapple. it has something in it that helps with regulating bloodflow and cramps and boy does it work... manganese that was it.
good luck
R.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

What you have told us is defiantly within the realm of normal Perimenopause. It’s possible to undergo a plethora of uncomfortable symptoms. They usually get worse before they get better. There are a number of over the counter products people use as well as hormone replacement or birth control pills doctors recommend. Over the counter herb products are hit or miss. HRTs are linked to breast cancer. An acupuncturist can treat all your symptoms and was the most helpful in treating all of mine. It’s been over ten years of considerable irritation for me. Hang on; you may be in for a bumpy ride.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hi B.,

I have been going through the same thing for a few years. I think you need to see another doctor. When I finally found a doctor specializing in more of a natural approach I feel wonderful. In my case I was estrogen dominant so my doctor put me on a progestrone cream and my ovulation pain that would have me on the floor for two days is gone. Also my heavy cycles have calm down along with my moods and being an overall freak (that is what I have been called).

Their is also a website called Women to Women, I have never used their vitamins but I hear they are great. If anything the website has alot of info on what we are going through.

Good luck look for a medical doctor with a suffix of DO.

S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi B., I was in my 40's when i started going through meopuuse, my symptons were a little different, but I did have the discomfort when i would ovulate. Menepause is early in life for some women and later in life for others. I got the night sweats, insomnia, hot flashes, and the tender breast, it was so painful everytime I took off my bra and they would relax, soo painful, about I'm 52, abd about 3 years ago my daughter inlaws mother told me she was taking Flaxseed oil for her menepause symptons, so i started taking them, and i have no symptoms at all, and also I have no more Heart burn or restless leg syndrom. I looked Flaxseed on the internet and it has so many health benifits to it, in fact when our dog went down due to old age, we started her on a welness diet and the main ingredent in her food for flaxseed, after 3 days she was a new dog, and lived another 6 months a happy dog. J. l.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it is normal, but, there is a procedure, and I have no idea what it is called. Your gyn can cauterize your uteris so that your periods are light and less crampy. I am seriously considering it. It may help.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,
It sounds like perimenopause. My mom had the same symptoms you are having at around the same age. I am 46 and going through it also but my symptoms are different - my periods are further apart and less bleeding. A blood test showed that my hormones are down. You are doing all the right things by going for checkups and tests. Just keep doing it and keep track of your cycles and keep checking in with the doctor if you have concerns. Change doctors if you feel your needs are being met.

I don't get any PMS or cramps anymore since I started going to acupuncture 15 years ago... you might want to try it.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.A.

answers from Visalia on

Hi B.! I turned 50 in January and have been having these symptoms for tha last 3-4 years now. My doctor has said my hormones are normal, but I know they are going crazy because I know my body pretty well. Tests can be wrong!

Someone else here mentioned books by Dr. Christiane Northrup and Suzanne Sommers, both are excellent choices. I just started reading a book called Master Your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels, Personal Trainer and Trainer on the Biggest Loser. It is awesome! She covers every possible hormone disruptor your body could ever be exposed to and she tells you how to fix the problem, naturally through your own eating habits, etc., which is the best way to go first, before surgery or prescription drugs. Good luck on your journey B.. Menopause is not a bad thing, we just need to understand how to make it an enjoyable experience : )

Live Healthy, Happy and Smart!

T.
www.sharethecause.com/T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,
Welcome to perimenopause..I know quite a bit about it,and take some amazing supplements that have really helped with the symptoms.This "phase" is a 10-15 year cycle...Please feel free to contact me.I'm turning 50 this year,so I'm with you!

In Health

K.

____@____.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,

Another great resource I did not see mentioned is www.drjohnlee.com Dr. Northrup, Suzanne Summers, Robyn McGraw (Dr. Phil's wife) have all written about bio-identical hormones but long after several books from Dr. Lee. Check out "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About PREmenopause." Even if it is not perimenopause, you don't have to live with these symptoms.

EVERYONE should read this recent article from the Wall Street Journal. Doctors mean well but they do not know everything - stick up for yourself!
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123717056802137143.html
Arbonne was one of the first companies to come out with hormone balancing creams for men & women, formulated with the same high standards they've had for 29 years. I can direct you to other useful article if you like. Just let me know.

M. Montgomery, Executive District Manager
ARBONNE INTERNATIONAL
Pure, Safe, Beneficial - No Harmful Chemicals - 100% Vegan
C. ###-###-####
www.4dwellness.myarbonne.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi B.: I am 47 and last year I went through similar symptoms just like you. I also went to have an ultra sound done and all was normal. This year it got worse so I had a hormone level check done and another ultra sound. The hormone levels came back a little low but not enough to trigger menopause. However the dr. found systs on my right overy, so I may be having a hysterrectomy soon. Soooooo go have your hormone levels checked to see if there might be a problem and have another ultra sound done in 6 months. Eventually whatever is causing your sysmtoms will make itself known. But be proactive don't wait.
Sincerely,
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

What you describe is fairly normal for the beginning of perimenopause and caused by fluctuating hormones.

If you decide you want to take hormones, please don't let a doctor prescribe HRTs for you until you have been without a period for year. That can cause you more problems like you are experiencing now.

A lot of women find relief of menopause symptoms with products like Estoven, which you can buy over the counter.

Hope you feel better soon!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Reno on

B. L

I went through menopause when I was about 39 yrs old. It lasted for about 7 yrs. It was the pits for me, the mood swings were stressful, and the hot flashes that came after or near the end have been very persistent. Each person has begin and end these sessions very differently than our parents. So don't stress it too much. My bio mother never talked to me about anything and I found out for myself when it began and from others who had already gone through the life change. Good Luck, and try to lower your stress levels for a few years, it makes it easier to handle all the hormone changes that take place.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I started with night sweats at around 37 then progressed to hot flashes and for the next almost 10 years felt like a crazy woman! I'm pretty even-tempered so for me to lash out at someone unexpectedly was horrifying not only for them but for me as well. During this time I took (on and off) Remifemin, which is a black cohosh based herbal supplement. I say on and off because they actually recommend that you don't take it constantly. I then had my first child at 46 (who knew?) and the symptoms have changed, but now I'm heading for the real thing (lighter periods, no periods for 2-3 months). Like everyone else said, blood tests are not all that accurate as mine still come back "normal". The books that have been suggested are all wonderful and do try to exercise and make time for yourself. This is the second phase of your life cycle and we all need to embrace the possibilities.
All the best.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B...Welcome to the trials and surprises of being a woman..lol You are not too young to be experiencing all the symtoms that you relate. I too was adopted and have no history. I can only suspect that from my own experience of have two easy births and regular periods that I must of followed my mom, as I was the youngest of 5 and she went on to have more kids after she had remarried.
I went through memopause at a early age..began at 37, then at 40 had a DNC due to bleeding nonstop for 10 days, not my normal every 28 day cycle like clockwork. After that I only had periods for 3 months and that was it. No more periods and not even heavy hot flashes. Never went on hormones, and now at 20 years later..it is just a fague memory.
I hope you can have as easy a time as I did with the process. Of course I never missed not having the monthly visitor..lol Drink a lot of water and glad you had your mammogram..just had my first one last month..shame on me!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Bonny,
I'm 40 and have been going through what you described for a few years now. The Dr. did a blood test and said my hormones were fine. I read blood tests aren't very acurate, you should do a saliva test. Like a HMO will pay for that. The Dr. put me on birth control pills which helped but I don't need them as I had a tubal over 8 years ago which is what seems to have started all this. Of course the Dr. says it has nothing to do with it. Any way just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I don't know much about this issue, but just thought I would throw it out there that cycles can also change and be considered normal. I know mine do. What you describe sounds like me. One month it seems heavier, or has more clots (clots are normal) or one month i will have hardly any cramps, etc. And I feel(ache) when I ovulate almost every month. I think the main thing with menopause is the cycles get closer and closer together or you simply stop having a period. I dont think it has a lot to do with intensity of the actual period. At least that is what I remember reading. But I guess when I really think about it, hormones go haywire therefore cycles get all funky. I know diet, weight, stress, activity level can all have an impact on the chemicals in our bodies. Normalcy is quite the balancing act of so many hormones/chemicals in us. What has been different in your life in these last 6 months than the previous? Who knows, Im 36, maybe i have been in perimenopause for years now! I do realize perimenoupause can happen for years before actual menopause and maybe that is what you are expereincing. 43 does seem a bit young to me tho. But not having family history, you'll never know. Have your hormones checked if you need to know, that should tell you something about where you are in this process. I know there are plenty of herbal remedies claiming to help with feminine issues. I have heard of evening primrose old to help with cycles and also fertility. Oprah has done plenty of shows on this, Dr. Northrop has books that are supposed to be great, one I think is considered the bible of menopause. My MIL has it. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear B.,

I am 59 years old and am the other side of this although not completely -- I have suffered a lot during this time. I am taking biodentical hormone replacement and feel normal finally. At this time in your life you need to become educated about hormones and what's going on. Not all doctors know or understand menopause so you're going to have to be your own advocate. I would suggest going on Oprah.com and in Search plug in "Biodentical Hormone Replacement". Even if that's not where you end up going you will learn what's going on with you. It doesn't necessarily get bettter on its own.

Heavy bleeding is normal during perimenopause. But you don't have to suffer. Did they test all your hormone levels and tell you they're normal? If they are then it might be your pituitary and endocrine glands and you might need to go see a gynecological endocrinologist or even a regular endocrinologist.

Either way, one book that helped me understand what I was going through and where I learned a lot about hormones was Suzanne Somers book, "The Sexy Years". In the back of the book they have a website where you can find a compounding pharmacy in your area -- I called the pharmacy and asked them who dealt with them with biodentical hormones -- not all were doctors, but the Physician's Assistant I ended up seeing was excellent, and after being on them for three months I started to feel like a normal human being again. Biodenticals, because they are natural, are not covered on an insurance plan, you have to pay out of pocket, but as I said it's worth it.

I know this is a long reply, but it's best to become educated yourself ahead of time.

L. from San Diego

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

This just makes me want to scream that doctors are still not doing what they need to be doing, listening to the patient.

Here are two books that I recommend to women as they are going through ANYTHING related to their bodies and heads:

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup
The Sexy Years by Suzanne Sommers (yes that one, she is amazingly smart ladies and has done the research, has some very smart doctors in her corner)

You should have some very indepth hormone panels done that include checking for unbound/free hormones of more than one estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone. A urine test will also be on the list for the hormones. Do some reading so that you can have more understanding of what your body is going through. Start eating a more 'clean' diet with no preservatives, no dyes, less red meat and all organic meat and chicken. Another thing that happens to a lot of women as they start all of this is they become more sensitive to wheat/gluten. It causes bloating, digestive irritation, pain in some areas.

Ok, you've got homework now and know that it does not need to be like this and don't let the doctor just put you on the pill as that is truly one of the worst things to do at this point. Once you find out what is going on with your body and the hormones THEN you use the 'bio-identical' hormones to balance you. A big difference.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.C.

answers from San Diego on

Oh, yeah, welcome to Perimenopause. The best book with lots of info on this is called "What your Doctor may NOT tell you about Premenopause" by John R. Lee, MD. I got my copy for about 10 bucks on Amazon.com. It's got a lot of info to help you sort your symptoms out & see what you need.

I started with the non-stop, heavy peroids about 4 yrs ago, with CRAZY mood swings..the dr put me on a higher dose of the pill. I was on the pill after a miscarriage, although my husband did get "fixed", they recommended I stay on it, for the moodiness I was starting to experience. It was supposed to stop the mood swings & regulate the bleeding back to normal periods but I got full-on nuts--the "Maybe we need to divorce nuts"...& bled more, if that is possible (I had a 6 week super heavy period!)..it was a horrible time!

Finally, I talked to my mom & she recommended this book & it has changed my life. I am currently using a natural progesterone cream to help regulate the bleeding & trying to follow a healthful diet & life style. Because I was also experiencing severe anxiety--I couldn't talk about anything w/o crying anymore--I was eventually put on an anti-drepressant, too. I resisted that for a while, but just progestrone, diet & exercise wasn't enough for me. I really am not into meds, but sometimes, after a lot of trial & error, it's the necessary thing to do.

ps And I'v found that if you have any ADHD tendencies--they amp up due to the hormonal changes of perimenopause.

Anyway, good luck sorting through this, everyone is different, it just takes some time finding what works for your body.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Now you have an excuse for crazy moments. I've heard from some friends that it can last 10 years or more.

What helps me is exercise. I go up in the hills and hike for an hour or so. Try to stay away from soy products too. The crazy-emotional thing will happen soon enough, so you'll need to figure healthy-er physical releases.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,

I will be 43 in a month and I ALSO am going through the same symptoms you are!!! Welcome to perimenopause!!! I started about a year ago noticing more cramping,(not just during my periods but all month off and on), more breast tenderness, slight depression,decreased sex drive, etc...I took matters into my own hands and made my Dr. do a hormone work-up on me...He didn't want to..said I was TOO YOUNG!!...SURPRISE!!...My Estrogen and Testerone were way off! I have since then found a really good Nurse Practioner(She is in Pasadena, CA) that SPECIALIZES in Perimenopause and Menopause and am feeling better than I have in awhile! I am on "Bio-identical" hormones and doing great. She assured me that "I was in the normal age group for this...mid 30's to mid 40's. and that just because I was going through this didn't mean that I had to feel like ***** in the process!" Like the other responses, there are some really good books out there so educate yourself... Find a Dr. or someone that specializes in this and feel better!!! Good luck!!

P.S. I am ALSO adopted!!!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches