Question for Those of You That Are an Only Child

My only issue with not having any siblings is that it will be entirely up to me to care for my parents should they become debilitated as they age. I never wanted a sibling growing up, but then I've never been a very social person, maybe if I had been I'd have missed it.

If you do a search, I made a similar request on 5/08/07. I was wanting another and not sure if I should. My son had such a perfect life! All the only children I talked to wanted siblings. One response really got to me. What if both my husband and I were taken away from my son. He would have no siblings to go through it with. Extended family is good, but not the same! I had also never met anyone who had another child and then said " I really wish I hadn't done that". So in August last year i gave birth to our second child. I physically start to get sick when I think about a life without her. She is my son's world! No jealousy at all (I'm not promising that, just saying how it is with me). My #1 suggestion is have him be older! My son was 3.5 when she was born and idependantly in his big boy room, potty trained etc... I think this helps with jealousy because they aren't still babies themselves. If you want to send me your email, I can email the request and responses to you.
The night before I went to have my daughter (induction), I put my son to sleep and cried. He was going to sleep for the last time in his perfect world, what have I done?! It is more amazing and rewarding than I could ever tell you. good luck!

I am an only child and I have always wanted siblings as it did get lonely on rain days. I did not have anyone to play with when it was raining outside. Otherwise, I was very active with the community kids.

My mom always says that she wishes she would have had another child and I wish she would have too. I would have liked to have a brother or sister that I could bond with and confide in but it is what it is and I was happy then and am happy now. I have a loving husband, great son, great stepdaughter and great friends.

There is no right or wrong answer here. The best thing is that you raise your child/children with the best morales, values, and mold them to have character that shines.

Best wishes!

Hi. I am an only child and I would have loved to have had a sibling. Even though I had cousins, and good friends from the neighborhood, I still felt a bit "alone". Now I have 2 girls, 22 months apart. They squabble, fuss, etc. but I love to see them play together, giggle at night in their room, share their "secrets" and just the all around happiness they seem to be when together. Your son will adapt the way you will adapt at having another child in the home. We have told our girls that they are each other's best friends. If you and hubby are on board, and can swing it, go for it! God Bless.

I'm not an only child.But I'm the oldest with alot of years in between us - one sister is 7 yrs younger than me and the other is 10 yrs younger. I'll say that growing up I didn't miss having sisters around to play with (I was with my friends and my sisters were playing with each other) - I am 30 now and my sisters are my best friends. Way back when I wouldn't have cared about having siblings. But now, I'd be lost without them. We are super close as we've gotten older :)

I will apologize up front for not being an only child and still posting anyway.
But, I wanted to address something that I haven't seen mentioned here yet. I was very sick with our first and wasn't sure I could handle going through it a 2nd time, and our first was a boy and a handful, so the idea of a 2nd to take care of was a little stress inducing.

But, we never wanted our child to grow up alone. So we have 2. And I must say that it affected ME (in a good way) in ways I wouldn't have expected. I am a better parent now. Why? Because having more than one forces you to keep things in proper perspective for your children. It is very easy to succumb to today's societal pressures and let your child rule your world. But that is not what is best for the child. They need to be taught how the world does NOT revolve around them, which is completely counter to what they instinctively believe. They learn to share and care for others at a very early age.. so that THOSE concepts become normal, not a forced effort later on. And there will never in this world, EVER, be another person who will have the same shared experiences as your child, except for a sibling. When they are 25 and getting married, no other person in this world (except for a sibling) will be able to share the memories they have. No, mom and dad, their memories are not the same as yours... you are the authority.. they are the children... VERY different perspectives and memories of the same things. I am not really close close with my siblings, but we were close at different times growing up, and the closeness waxes and wanes with the stages of our lives. I can even recall long distance phone calls from college to each other (at different colleges). Now that my parents are aging, I am glad that I have my brothers (and their wives) to share in the process.

Fwiw, my son (3 yrs older than his sister, now 11 yrs and 8 yrs) are BEST FRIENDS and get along famously. There is the occasional typical squabble, but by and large, they play together and love each other in an awesome way. There is nothing sweeter than the sound of the two of them whispering in the back seat and laughing together, when I don't even know what they are talking about. Or when one is with me shopping and gets some sort of treat and asks me for another to take home for their sibling.

It seems that no one who was an only child has responded yet. I am an only child, the only daughter (and the only girl grand-daughter). There are times when I think I would have like a sibling, someone to spend time with, be close with, etc. However, I feel truly blessed and would not change my childhood one bit. My parents and I are very close and my mom has always been one of my best friends, since she is the one I talked to and spent time with after school at home instead of a sibling. I truly appreciate that. Being an only child, when I spent time with them it was always one on one (or two on one, if I was with both of them), and I always felt extremely loved.

As far as being only one person to care for my parents as they get older, that can unfortunately happen even if there are two kids. My mother has always and is now taking care of her parents alone. Her brother was no help when he was alive, and now he has passed. I do not worry about taking care of my parents alone in the future, I know that I can do it as my mother does.

I have the same concerns for my only child so far, an almost three year old daughter. I have had two miscarriages and it's making me think that okay, I'll just leave it at one. My husband desperately wants her to have a sibling because he and I had her late in life -- he's 42 and I'm 40 -- and he does not want to see her care for us alone and to grieve alone when we pass. So yes, I think it would be nice for your child to have a sibling. I say let it happen naturally. If you get pregnant, great. If not, that's okay too. To tell you the truth, everyone that I've met who is an only child is quirky in one way or another -- sorry, no offense.

Hi Michelle,
I am an only child. I wish that I had siblings. My mom could not have anymore kids so it was not her fault. However, I would have another child asap. I have two and they are 10 years apart and they dont really spend that much time playing together or anything. I think that your son would love a little brother or sister. Good luck.
C.

I am an only child and I have always wished for siblings. My husband is also an only child and he never wanted them. So it seems it is an individual preference of whether or not it matters to you. Personally, I have always wanted them, starting from being a young child and being jealous of friends with siblings who always had playmates around. And now as an adult, wishing I had siblings that I was close with to share the joy of having my own children with. And as my parents age and their health deteriorates, it is a growing concern that I alone will be responsible for their care (especially since they are divorced and neither remarried).

I always see my friends with siblings and even when they don't always get along, I am jealous of the bond they have with their siblings and wish that I had been lucky enough to have that. Now that I am a mother I decided immediately that I did not want my daughter to be an only child. I think there are so many benefits to having siblings, from learning about sharing as a child, and always having a playmate, to hopefully being close as adults and not having to deal with the loss of parents alone (or care for elderly parents alone).

One of the huge deciding factors for me was also that fact that BOTH my husband and I are only children, meaning my daughter will have no aunts, uncles, or cousins. I was not ok with denying her siblings as well. Of course there is no guarantee that siblings will be friends, or close at all as adults, but I can't see that as a reason to not have more children - there's always a chance that they will be close and I have never heard of anyone regretting the decision to have a second child once that child is here.

I will be monitoring your answers here because I too wonder about having my son as an only child. I do not have any urges to have another one and my husband thinks our son needs a sibling/playmate. But I am looking forward to doing things with Nolan (age 3)that I won't be able to do if a newborn comes. I have talked to one friend of my husbands who is an only child and he said it was lonely growing up and even now he doesn't have any family other than his wife and her 2 kids. It is a real issue and I hope you (and I) find some great responses to this topic. Thanks for posting!