Question for Teachers Re: Mothers/Father's Day

I'm not a teacher, but I think it depends on the child and their relationship with the step M.. As a teacher, I don't think it's their decision or role to point out who they should make things for. I wouldn't expect anything, so as not to feel bad, but when a step child gives something, then it should mean a whole lot more.

I teach third grade. This year my students wrote poems and got to type them in the computer lab and add clip art for their special "mom-like" person. They then mounted it on scrapbook paper that I purchased with my own money from the craft store. Now, I'm happy to do this, but I cannot allow kids to take unlimited amounts of paper. I allowed each child to choose one piece of scrapbook paper for their poems.

I told them that they could write their poems to any woman that was special to them in some way for Mother's Day. Some kids had extra time and were able to hand write a second poem or create a card with construction paper for someone else. I have no idea who they created them for. To be honest, I don't have the time or the energy to remind kids to make cards for certain people. A lot of kids ask if they can make one for this person or that person instead or in addition to their moms and I tell them that it doesn't matter to me who they make their gifts for. Plus, the amount of time that it takes for most of my students to write and type up a single poem is agonizing!! I just simply can't take up any extra class time allowing for tons of extra gift making - as soon as everyone has completed one project for someone, we move on.

We really don't have any problem with our students making gifts for step parents and many do. A lot of times, we even offer a list of ideas for who the kids could make a gift for. However, with so many requirements and standards we're expected to teach it's just one of those things that we have to be able to let go of and not feel guilty about.

I'm not a teacher, but I have friends who are.
You know, this is a sticky situation.
With so many blended families, kids being raised by aunts and uncles or grandmas and grandpas, there just is really no way for a teacher to get into who the gift is made or intended for or worrying about if they don't make at least two of something, somebody will feel left out. It's just not possible. And I know for a fact that funding for so many things have been cut to the extent that teachers often spend their own money for the little craft projects that kids make for these things. It's just not possible to make everybody happy.
I know of one little kid who made something and he wanted it specifically to be given to his mother. Well, he didn't live with his mother, hadn't seen her in quite some time, and his "step" mother was quite offended because after all, SHE was the one who took him to school every day and picked him up, SHE was the one who took treats to class and did everything for him....SHE was his mother. I could see her point to an extent, but, it seemed kind of immature to me, and it certainly wasn't the teacher's place to tell the little boy who the gift should have been intended for. He wasn't having a melt down about it, it was the step mom.

Step parents are no doubt very important and integral to children's lives, but as far as teachers taking the "extra step".....take a good look at how many kids are in each of your children's classes and consider how many of them have more than one family and then add up the time and expense it would take for each of those kids to make something for everyone. Then add in the questions from the other kids about why someone gets to make more than one thing. I don't think it's intentional rudeness on the part of any teacher to just have each kid make one thing.
My kids have made things for Mother's Day and wanted to give it to my mom. I was totally fine with it. It was part of my gift to her.

Adults are adults. At least we should be. The classroom isn't the place for familial political correctness on top of everything else.

It sounds like you all have great relationships between the adults in your blended family and you should be really glad about that. You can have fun with the kids at home making cards or even taking ideas from the class craft and making more than one to give to other people or keep for yourself.

Just have a wonderful Mother's Day and Father's Day and know that your kids all love you.

Can I just simply say that kids are not at school to be making Mother's & Father's day crafts.

I have volunteered for over 20 yrs. in my children's classrooms/schools and teachers have too much to handle already. I have seen such an enormous change in how teachers are forced to find sane and creative ways to deal with stressed out kids from divorce, unruly, disrespectful, special needs kids who are mainstreamed...the issues go on and on.

My recommendation to ALL parents who have such ideas as above...you should volunteer to make it happen. Don't ask the teacher to add one more angle to the project. Make yourself available, research kid friendly, school friendly Mother's day crafts and cards, put it all together and go for it. The teacher will be beyond appreciative. And while you are there, remind the kids from divorced family's to make an extra set for the step parent.

But be forewarned, those kids listed above are typically sick more often, so your chances of them all being there on the day you do the project is slim. Now you can return to include those absent children. Which is more time on your part. And remember to do a project that lasts no more than 20-30 minutes, as kids don't have the attention span to work longer than that.

I'm not a teacher so... maybe its as simple as there is only time for each kid makes one of something. There is nothing that says that a child can't make a special something for a step-parent outside of school art class.

M.

It really depends on the amount of material and the time for making a project. Usually the budget is super tight is it is ONE project per child and obviouslly it is encouraged to go to mom/dad. Plus with the time given there is SO much to do during the limited amount of school time so the schedule is tight and the time goes by quickly.

Honestly it is not the shcools job to even do something for the parents specail days, it is nice that most have time/money to do something. I was only a teachers aid and the poor teacher was always complained to that oh but he/she has step parents too, what about grandma, why do they not have something for them... well no time and NO extra money to buy the extra supplies.

Our teacher lets the kids make things if they have extra time but for the most part there is only time for one thing to be made. It's not that they don't care about the step parents, there's just not enough time. I volunteer and ask such questions :)
This year the kids did something as simple as writing poems. :) It was stinking cute.

I am a teacher and I buy things for crafts with my own money as we have major budget cuts. I also have many many kiddos with divorced parents and lots situations with parents who do not get along. I simply have them make one Mother's Day present (because I do not get paid enough to buy craft material for more than one). This year we made two projects. One girl decided to give one present to her mom and one to her step-mom. It is not my place to dictate who presents should go to because I don't even want to hear about it from the parents. It is for sure not to be mean; it is just another issue to tiptoe around. If kids ask me, they can get paper I have and make a card for step-mom or dad's gf, etc. I also want to thank Jennifer R. for seeing how much a teacher's job has changed and for acknowledging that.

I teach fifth grade and I honestly don't work any kind of craft or project in for Mother's or Father's Day, or any holidays for that matter. My students exchange Valentine's cards (if they want) and that is really it. I have learned over the years that all kids have unique family backgrounds and situations, and it's not up to us as public school teachers to take away from the demands of the curriculum to tackle what can be sensitive for some. Granted, by 5th grade, it's different in that they are not as little anymore and the curriculum is WAY beyond what we can cover in a typical day, week, or year! I also have had many adopted kids over the years, and have one right now, and at age 11, they start questioning the fact that their birth mom is not their "mom" mom, and who is the "real" one, etc. I have seen this repeatedly and Im seeing it play out with a female student right now.

All of this being said, I still feel the kids should be reminded that it IS Mother's Day and their moms work hard to take good care of them, so we have a little chat about what they can do over the weekend to help out at home and show appreciation. We stress the "special Mom figure" in their lives because it's not always the biological mom who is their primary caretaker, and fifth graders are old enough to acknowledge more than one if need be. Being a working mom myself, I always (half jokingly of course!!) tell the kids to clean the house or cook something simple and their moms will LOVE it as a gift! I hope this helps a little... I know it doesn't answer the step-parent question exactly but it's my perspective as a veteran public school teacher.

I've never offered my kids to make something for their step-mom. But, I've never thought of it until now. I don't think teachers do it to be mean, I honestly don't think many of us think about it.

I'm also a teacher that is so forgetful with most holidays, anyway! I almost forgot to have my students make something for mom this week!

F., I am a teacher and I agree that there is no time nor budget to make gifts for everyone who (rightly so) would feel slighted if they did not receive acknowledgment of their importance in a child's life. But, I do not believe that should stop the child's parents from making sure that everyone who should be acknowledged is. Your husband is doing a great job by making sure that his kids are showing their appreciation for you, as are you for your kids' step mom.

As teachers, we do our best to get to know our students' lives and family situations, but you have to realize how difficult it becomes for us to keep up with so many kids. Family situations can change from one day to the next and we really do our best with what time and resources we have. And yes, we DO end up shelling out a ton of our own $ for art supplies. If in your class of 23 kids you have 16 kids with blended families, it adds up. If your school gives you a certain level of reimbursement it is based on the # of kids in the class, and does not account for extras. We have mother's day, father's day, grandparent's day, valentine's day, thanksgiving, christmas, easter...among others.

Happy Mother's Day!

I am a step-mom too and as stepparents we have to resign ourselves to knowing that even though we may do more for the child, their biological mom will ALWAYS be the Mom. You will not always have the physical place of honor, but know you have a place of honor in their hearts.

I am the homeschool teacher for my stepdaughter and we did a Mother's Day project in our homeschool and it went to her mom!

I read the response and I understand that teachers only have so much time and resources. Imagine how hard it is for the child to have to choose between two wonderful women in his/her life?

My stepdaughter tells me her secrets, her fears, her loves and her dreams. I take care of her and she loves me. That's better than any Home-made Mother's Day gift!

I am an aide in a kindg classroom after teaching pschool for many years. As a preschool teacher, I was privy to family information for the most part and could accomadate stuff like step families. But in this kindg class the teacher didn't even ask if they wanted to make two. I didn't want to push it with her due to over stepping my bounds but it kind of bothered me too. Although in this class the teacher doesn't have contact with hteh families, most don't show for confrences etc, so maybe that had somethign to do with it.

But i will say, I worked with a girl once that had no clue who her actual relatives were and had about 20 people she would swear were her mother. It's great that so many people loved her but no way was she going to get 20 little marigold seeds planted while everyone else got one.