Question for Moms with Kids Fighing Cancer....

Updated on February 04, 2015
M.Q. asks from Perris, CA
9 answers

Hello friends, last night as I was selling some of my kids stuff online I came across a Mom wanting to purchase it all from me for her two young daughters, one of them I found out is 6 years old and fighting cancer and currently staying at the children's hospital where I take my kids for check ups, so I told her she could have it all for free for her babies and I'll be dropping it off for her at the hospital on Monday after my daughter's appointment. My boyfriend is a police officer and the moment I told him about this family he wanted to help, he and his department would like to purchase a very special gift for Chealsey, but we have no idea what? So I was hoping someone who has been through this could possibly guide us, is there something that your child found super helpful to have during their hospital stays? I know sometimes the kids get pulled around in wagons and I was thinking maybe a really cool custom wagon for her, but I have no idea if the hospital would allow it? I was also thinking a tablet? or maybe a Nintendo ds?? any suggestions?? Mom mentioned to me that Chealsey has not had many visitors, I was thinking how cool would it be to set up an address for her where she can receive get well cards, that idea seems to do really well, what do you guys think?? Thank you so much!!

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So What Happened?

Ms. May- I believe her 100%, we befriended each other on facebook and the her pictures tell the story, we we will be visiting her ourselves too. But you are absolutely right, there are so many scammers out there, it's very sad.

More Answers

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I would call the hospital she is in and ask for guidance. They will tell you what can be used in their hospital and what a patient might need.

I would hate to believe it's a scam, but heck there was a girl who pretended to have cancer to have her wedding paid for.

Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Possibly the department social worker could help you. I am sure they are in direct contact with the family and know their needs. There will be privacy issues, though.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Nice that you want to help ... However.,. It's sad but now you have to cross check things like this for being legit.

Probably not what you want to hear but neither was my last response to you when you royally flamed me :). I don't forget things!!

Hope your children are ok and you got the settlement you were after.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

When my older son was abpout to turn 11, he was in the hospital for a few days. My son has a bleeding disorder and usually hematology and oncology patients are in the same ward. It broke my heart that the floor was almost completely full--and most of the kids were cancer patients. There was a little boy in the room that had cancer. Luckily it was one easily treated but of course the meds are not nice. He would cry when he had to take it and do the barium treatments. Mom and dad stayed at the RMc House while there and they were exhausted with just the 2 weeks in.

I would see what mom thinks. You could connect with the social worker for suggestions as well. Does she have a favorite character? Maybe something along those lines--or even a visitor to cheer her on. An address for get well cards would be awesome.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Our son was hospitalized when he was six. Wasn't cancer (thank God) but the days were long and the time passed slowly. I would send word via Facebook, e-mail or whatever that she needs to hear from as many friends as possible who can share love and encouragement. My son got lots of cards and letters from his class at school and that was a big help. Also, the hospital has Starbucks, McDonald's etc. Gift cards to these places help cause the parents can emerge with a "treat" periodically.

Bless you for spearheading such a kind thing.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

How heart warming. I bet the little girl would love to get cards in the mail. Also, having a child in the hospital is expensive. Perhaps you could purchase parking vouchers (if you know the child is not being discharged soon and they will be used.). I would also think that gift cards for food would be useful. I'm betting the mom has already made sure her daughter has everything she needs and wants. It is probably the mom who could use the gifts.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Assuming you have verified that this is all true (because people do create bogus profiles and bogus charities), I'd focus my time on finding out if there are already services that exist to connect this mom and other parents to the generosity of others. Start with the hospital social workers and sew what they already do to provide respite care, parking vouchers, toys, activities, etc. for sick kids. Then start a neighborhood or school-wide effort to support that charity. You will get more participation from your friends because they will know it's a real organization or charity they are supporting. You will get better suggests that are relevant to the actual kids being serviced, instead of just guessing at what they need. Individual circumstances vary so much, you can't possibly identify or anticipate all of them. So work with the people who are already in the trenches, and you will make sure your efforts are multiplied.

I've seen FB pages set up for kids getting treatment - it protects their privacy to some degree. One kid was not able to continue his animal therapy for some reason, so they set up a page letting people post "greetings" from their own dogs with a message like, "Hi Billy, hope you enjoy this picture while you are getting chemo. My name is Rufus and I'm a Boston terrier, I like to play fetch and take naps." That sort of thing - priceless, warm encouragement and entertainment without loading a kid up with 20 Nintendos that he might not even like or need.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Because childhood cancer is so rare, I doubt any moms here have personal experience, and even if they do, their experience could be much different than the woman you have spoken with. So why not just ask her? I'm sure she'd appreciate the gesture.

Also, not to sound awful, but some people do lie on craigslist about their personal circumstances in order to get things for free. I really hope that's not the case for this person, but I would check up on her story if you haven't already.

:)

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

It is nice for you to want to help. I agree with the suggestions to contact the hospital social workers for suggestions on what is allowed and what isn't. Many children's hospitals do have a lot of resources there to entertain the children. If you are going to go visit her (with her mother's permission), you might ask if there is a social worker available. Many children battling cancer are allowed few visitors because their immune systems may be compromised. I think requesting cards would be fun for Chealsey, but again, check on the hospital policy. I have sent greeting cards to people I did not know for different occasions (like this or for a 100th birthday). Our friend's child was at St Jude for many months before he lost his battle with cancer. His whole school, local churches and the whole community sent cards for his birthday and kind of overwhelmed their mail delivery system.

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