Question for Moms with Children in Daycare....

Yes, if you feel you have the patience teach her to nap, or at least play quietly in the confines of a space. I say this as the mom of a child who quit napping early. Mom and Dad can try making minor adjustments to her schedule at home, but remember, they are no more magicians than you are! Yes, I agree that childcare providers need a break, and if this girl needs to go to daycare she will need to learn the "skill" of napping or playing quietly for a period of time. Otherwise she is likely to be bounced from daycare to daycare - and I think that's cruel!

I think you should continue to work with her. Everyone will feel so much better once you're got her trained to take a nap. Kudo's to you for being willing to work with her.

You leave her in there for TWO HOURS?! If I found out someone was doing that to my child, I would raise holy hell.

If you have so many kids and are so busy that you can't work with this child, then please, simply tell the parents it's not working out.

What you're doing is just cruel. Would you do that if it was your own child?! Of course not! Don't try to justify it by 'the parents say she's happier than ever'... she's happy to get the heck out of there!

Ask the parents what her schedule is like at home, and adhere to that. It's not fair of you to ask a 1 year old to go by YOUR schedule just because it works for everyone else. Every child is different. If she needs to nap at a different time, go by that, don't make up new rules that a 1 year old doesn't understand.

ETA: Big deal if you change her, the issue here is SLEEP. You're letting the crib babysit and you're concerned more with your quiet time than the well being of the child, There's clearly an underlying issue here, which you're ignoring by leaving her in there for 2 hours. Why is she going to the bathroom so much in 2 hours? I don't remember any of my kids having BMs during nap time after infancy.

You completely ignored what I said: You're not going by the CHILD'S NORMAL SCHEDULE, you're going by what suites YOU, and it's clearly not working. It's not about you, it's about the child. You get paid to take care of the child... so take care of her. I've clearly hit a nerve here: the innocent don't feel the need to defend themselves.

If it's not working out with this kid, just tell the parents. It's not the first time in the history of the world it's happened; no big deal. You're not happy, the kid's not happy while she's there, end the professional relationship. And maybe she doesn't need to sleep (and definitely not for 2 hours!!)... my son is 21 months and takes about one 30 minute nap a day. Give this kid a break. Leaving her in a crib for 2 hours is just cruel. You can't remember what the mom said about naps on the weekends... ASK HER! That's your job!! Just because you haven't 'let go of a high needs child' doesn't mean that you shouldn't, doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.

Don't single me out just because you didn't like my opinion on it. If that was my child, you'd be out of a job.

I think 2 hours is too long.

I would be upset if my child was left in a crib for two hours because it's the provider's "only quiet time"...while I get it - I used to work for Kindercare as an Assistant Director and we were not allowed to leave a child who was crying in a crib for more than 15 minutes....

If she can't sleep - I would think it's a problem. My son, Nicky, screamed when he was laying down and would FINE sitting up...he ended up having an inner ear issue that required tubes in the ears...after that - he slept FINE...

I find it odd that in a two hour time frame this child has bowel movements and urinating that frequently. I don't remember my kids doing that...even the kids at Kindercare - they would have their BM before or after nap - rarely during...things that make you go hmmmmm...

If you are not connecting with the child and aren't able to do your job with the other kids, then I would tell the parents it's not working out and let them find someone else to care for their child....two hours in a crib when not sleeping is too long for me.

Sounds like this is more of an issue for you than for her, her parents, or the other kids.

If you need your quiet time, then send her on to somewhere else.

However, my guess is keeping her in her crib during naptime will eventually get through to her. Some babies just don't sleep - I'm sure you've run into that before. However, it does teach her that just because she doesn't sleep doesn't mean she doesn't have to follow the routine just like everyone else.

My best guess is that eventually, she'll figure out she doesn't get to get out and play when everyone else is sleeping. What about a mat on the floor instead of a crib? You could be right next to her and rub her back or something until she's calm and then again when she wakes up. Worked for another child at my daughter's daycare.

are you thinking developmental issues? Or have you even considered it?

I think what gets me is the "little fussy cry" comment. At 11 months, I would think that she could work up quite a rampage of a cry!

Have you tried a really sturdy swing? I know it's not the best solution, but perhaps swinging would soothe her to the point where she can relax....? Several years ago, I had a child with severe food allergies & his parents allowed him to sleep in the swing until ??15??18 months. Seemed kinda ridiculous, but I saw 1sthand how much it helped him.

& I totally get the whole naptime issue.....naptime is my sacred time....do not mess with it nor me!

As a parent, I'd much prefer you continue to work on teaching her to nap. But that's just me - I have always felt good naps are extremely important. I'm sure with as much childcare experience that you have, you have a good idea what she needs and how to get her there. It does suck that it ruins your quiet time - thats why I have such respect for childcare providers, I couldn't do it! I guess my only thought is that you shouldn't need to go in there multiple times for diaper changes or whatever else during a single nap time. I'd get her settled once then let her be until nap time is over! Especially because she is not wailing, like you said. She needs to learn to sleep through a little pee in her diaper. Also - it sounds like you're giving her one nap...? In my opinion, my son was no where near ready for just one nap until about 15 months old. Maybe she's getting overtired and making it harder for her to settle into a solid afternoon nap. I'd try one around 9 and one around 1:30

My child has been in childcare his entire life and thankfully we've had great caregivers. As a parent who's had a child in childcare, my opinion would be to just keep working with her. I honestly think that you are doing what needs to be done, regardless of what others are saying to you. I think you should continue to train her to nap. And some kids are good nappers and others, not so much. She's only been there for 2 months, so she is still learning you and you her. Maybe after she's better aquainted, she will settle into a routine with the other kids. I know that it took a bit for my little guy (not so little anymore, he's 4 1/2 years old now) to settle in with the sitter, but he did and was all because of his sitter.

I think you are doing great in going in there and checking on her and changing her, so keep up the good work. The only other thing I would suggest is talk to her parents and ask them what her schedule is like on the weekends and see if she naps for them like she's doing for you. If that's the case, then that's just how she is made. :)

Like I said, keep your head up and ya'll will get each other figured out soon. And ignore all the other ugly statements that are made. People can be just ugly!

If it is the only nap she gets during your day time together, keep her napping like you are. What her mom and dad say matters and the grumpies are bad for all of you, specially her. She is just a bad napper. But don't give up.

Like you said, she is teething, so give her some all natural teething gel like Hylands and give her some relief.

Also, if she is sleeping just fine at home then maybe she doesnt sleep well for you because she is not comfortable in the area, crib that you have her sleep in. Have her parents bring in extra cozy blankets that she sleeps with regularly and her favorite comfy's etc, whatever she is used to and try that. She might be scared to be in there alone. Your house is not her house, and being alone in your house can be scary for such a young one. Try and give her what she wants and needs.

Maybe putting her down for a nap with all her comfy things will make her feel better. Have the same music as she gets at home too. Maybe she needs some warm milk to go down with.

I think you need to ask her parents what their normal sleep routine is and then you might find your answer to her sleeping a little better. My bet is teething, and not being comfortable.

And yes, why is she messing her diaper so much? Doesnt seem normal to me, she might have a problem there that needs to be checked out. I also think if it is just a little pee then she can sleep through it. You going in there so much isnt good for her. You are confusing her into thinking she can get out and play instead of nap. If you continuously feed her before nap then she isnt hungry and you dont need to go in there and feed her.

Ask the parents their routine and hope you find something to help.

as long as shes not ignored, and she gets plenty of play time, also if the parents are fine with it, I would continue. However she is disrupting your daily activity. So for your peace of mind and sanity, is it worth having this baby as a client? She might be a child that needs one on one care and not a daycare situation. I dont know If I would really want my 11 month old stuck in a crib for 2 hours. My 11 month old doesnt nap for 2 hours straight, he is a on the fly kinda guy... 15 here 10 there... and he sleeps the night through so I would only want him in a crib for that period of time.

Maybe someone already suggested this, but the book by Elizabeth Pantly called The No Cry Sleep Solution has worked well for us. As you probably know, routines work great, but I could never get my daughter to nap in her crib. She naps in a little Infant to Toddler Rocker and falls asleep watching Strawberry Shortcake. It works for her :)

If you are able to teach her how to take a nap, even a little bit, it will serve her well when she's older. I say, keep doing what you're doing.

My one quibble is that I might not change her so often. Maybe once during naptime. I'd clear this one with the momma first, though.

Has any of this been discussed with her doctor and why she doesn't sleep. Is she sleeping too long at night? Maybe they should cut her night sleep a little so she can nap and not be grumpy. It seems like this has all been put on your shoulders and the parents should be playing more of a role. What do they do on weekends?

Since she is only 11 months, I would continue doing what you are doing....encouraging the nap and keeping her comfortable/clean during that time as she is awake. If she was an older child, I would suggest letting her be free and play quietly with you. I am a working Mom but I had a sitter at home until 2 (I work from home). I saw firsthand how he would sleep/rest better for her than me. He did start preschool/aftercare (daycare) program at 2. He napped most of the time there as well (does not nap anywhere at 3). My husband thinks he just did not want to give up all day mommy time to sleep. Even if she is not sleeping, it sounds like she is at least 'resting" and you all say she seems happier because of it. Why change a good thing?

The thing I loved the MOST about my first daycare lady was that she was very communicative with me and worked with my son really well, even though he came to her pretty "high needs." He was pretty colicky his first two months. She was the one who actually taught him to sleep in a crib, taught him to nap long term and not in spurts, etc. etc. Every day when I picked him up and he was happy and smiley at night so I was happy. I say as long as you tell mom or dad about her day when they pick her up (i.e. she slept this long, I had to check on her a few times, blah blah) and they seem happy with you, keep going along with trying to teach her to nap. Chances are you'll help mom and dad do better too. As far as the crying and such, I think if you check to see if she needs anything and take care of it, then your doing nothing wrong there if she cries a little. My son almost never cries anymore, but there are several kids who cry at his current daycare. Unfortunately, with only two workers, it's a little unreasonable to assume that they can have INSTANT response to every peep of a child cause once one is crying, so is another. They check to see if it's an emergency and handle them in priority order. They're great too. So I think what your doing is perfect :)

Other people's kids are difficult. I think that as long as you are checking on her and the mom doesn't mind her crying it out, it should be okay. I need the break in my day too. God blessed me with 3 kids that still love their naps/quiet time (8, 6, and 4). I'd say that as long as you and mom are on the same page, keep trying to make progress with her.

There is a 2 year old at my sitter's house that cries for 30 minutes at nap every day. I couldn't have patience for that, but our sitter does. Luckily the other kids go to sleep quickly, so she is able to comfort him almost immediately. Just keep trying with her, and maybe cut back your hours.

Have you tried patting her back?
I guess considering the fact that her parents say she is happier then she has ever been I would continue the way you have been. I think most children crave routine, and she is getting that in your care. I do not think a 2 hour quiet time is unreasonable, she needs the rest and you are not neglecting her.

I don't think you are cruel or wrong at all! 1.5-2 hours at her age is more than acceptable. She has to learn about quiet time. If you are consistent eventually she will earn. I am glad that you are checking on her and making sure she is fine. I would do the same.

I agree with "Henrys Mamma 1".

Neither of my kids took one solid nap in the middle of the day until nearly 18mos old. I think it might be a good idea for 2 naps too. One in the morning and one in the early afternoon.

Just wondering if she might be better in another area--like a pack & play away from the others?
Is there someone else home to supervise nap time?? How many kids are there? Just thinking you or a helper could take her out in a stroller for a walk at nap time--maybe the fresh air will conk her out?

I would want you to continue to teach her to nap since its only been appx. a month since care started. My 21 month old took months to adjust to a new daycare naptime routine. But I wouldn't just leave you to teach. Although children do need to learn there are different rules for different places i.e. home vs. daycare I still wouldn't leave you to teach to nap without following up at home with a naptime too. I'd also tell you what home naptime routine I use + see what I can do to help get my baby settled in the new daycare.

My son started daycare at 9 weeks of age. We told our provider that at home, he napped when he was tired - we never 'put him down' during the day. It seemed to confuse them a little until they saw that pretty much, he would sleep when tired - generally after eating - and often 2 hours at a pop. And it didn't matter whether he was playing on a mat, being held or (at home) in the stroller or car. It didn't matter if the lights were on or off.

I would want you to pick up and hold my son when he fussed, not leave him in a crib. I don't see why infants all need to be on a 'schedule' and no need for them to be on the same schedule. Isn't it much more difficult for you if they are all hungry at the same time?