Question About Pets

Updated on August 15, 2011
A.C. asks from Cordova, TN
20 answers

Hey everyone, I have 3 dogs (a schnauzer, scottie, and beagle). My scottie is absolutely terrified of my husband. He has bitten my husband before(while my husband was trying to give him a bath) so of course my husband hates the dog now. He is a house dog, but refuses to be in the same room as my husband. In order to let him outside, I have to pick him up and carry him outside. The poor dog has to be miserable. I was talking to my mother in law about it and she said that she would love to have the scottie. My question is this....would it be more benefitial to the dog to go somewhere that he is not terrified? I hate to just give him away, but I also know that he has to be miserable and that is no life for a dog. What would you guys do?

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I would give the dog to my MIL. For two reasons... firstly, my husband, I'd want my husband to be happy. and secondly the dog, I'd want the dog to be happy. It actually sounds like a good situation you are in because there already is an offer for a nice home. Some families are faced with a decision about a pet w/o already knowing where the pet could find a home... And, since it will be family, you can still visit or at least hear updates on how the dog is doing, etc.

More Answers

S.B.

answers from Topeka on

I would give the dog to the mother in law. If the dog is THAT stressed out and causing your husband to be stressed out, it's really not worth it. Give the dog up.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

that is pretty much a no brainer, give the dog away. your husband should come before a dog.

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

It would be helpful to know more about the dog's relationship with your husband. Did you raise him from puppyhood? Was he a rescue? Has he ALWAYS been like this around your husband or is this new behavior? Or more pronounced behavior that has always sort of been lurking? Is it specific to YOUR HUSBAND or ANY man?

I would suggest that there are probably things you could do to work through whatever the issues are, but if you (and mainly) your husband aren't willing to put in the time/effort and possibly expense (trainer?) then you should probably look into your mom's proposal. But consider if this behavior is NOT specific to only your husband (do you even know? Does the dog get exposed to other men?) what happens then? Is it then just your mom's problem to deal with? What about visits to your mom's house with hubby? How will that go if dog is still afraid of your husband?

I would try to figure this out more before deciding which way to go. Dogs do not typically just become afraid of someone (particularly to the point you describe where he won't even be in the same room) unless something happened that caused it. That does not mean that your husband "did" anything to the dog... but maybe something happened that hurt your dog or scared him when your husband was the only one in the room and the dog associates that experience with your husband.. ? Does your husband have any insight into something that might have upset the dog at some point? Or was the dog this way when you brought him home? In which case, maybe the dog has issues that should be addressed before re-homing him with anyone else.
Sorry... it's not fun when they can't talk and tell us what the problem is...

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Yes, something is going on with the dog. He deserves to be happy. So do you. Did something happen that made the dog afraid of your husband? Is he a rescue dog who perhaps had a problem in the past with a man? The only problem with giving the dog to your mother in law is that your husband will no doubt visit her from time to time.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

If MIL will love him and be his master then it will all be good. Then you can still see him every so often and you'll never have to worry if he isn't getting the attention he needs.
Plus it can't hurt your marriage either. ;o)

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S.L.

answers from Lexington on

the dog should absolutely be somewhere where he will feel loved and unafraid. You do not mention if you have children, but the reality is that a dog that has bitten once will likely bite again, particularly if kept in an environment where s/he is afraid. By all means give the dog to you MIL if and only if she is willing to put the dog in a separate room when you and your husband are over there.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

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A.T.

answers from Memphis on

I'd be grateful someone you know so well wants to take the dog, because you know he will have a good home. Your husband stays, the dog goes!

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

If your MIL will take good care of him, I would definitely give to your MIL... He's not happy at your house with your husband.. Does he "like" your MIL?

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R.C.

answers from Nashville on

Why in the world is the poor dog afraid of your husband. Is this a new marriage? How long has this been going on? Would your husband be willing to take the time to overcome the dog's fear? Can he feed them? I would try that route before giving the dog away. It is unusual for a dog to continue to be fearful for a long time unless he's been harmed or is unwell.

M.M.

answers from Tampa on

I would be questioning WHY a pet of mine would be so fearful and threatened by my husband. What did/does your husband do to your scottie to make him so distrustful and scared of your husband?

Let me tell you 2 stories:

#1 - a girl and guy become a steady live in couple... he has 2 hunting dogs (labs) she has a cute smallish mix dog. The smallish dog becomes fearful of the guy because he yells at him, shoves his nose in the occassional mess he made, etc. Dog begins growling and hiding from her boyfriend. One day, bf takes her dog for a walk and it 'suddenly runs into traffic in a slow residential neighbor hood and is hit by a car'. The bf who makes a lot of money said he'd pay for the dog to be put down, but not to heal him from the injuries. This man most likely ran the poor dog into a frenzy and into the path of a car... problem dog taken care of and now his dogs rule the house.

#2 - again, man and woman move in together... girl's cats are starting to pee and poop in hiding areas and are not as quick to roam the house as they did before man moved in. Gf finds out bf had been terrorizing the cats and hurting them while gf was at work.

Both times, the man was abusive and harming the animals in one way or another which caused the animals to be fearful, threatened and agressive when cornered by this person.

I'd really be asking your husband what the hell he did to your dog! Then once the truth comes out - I'd consider possibly charging him with animal cruelty. In #1 story, girl married man and continues to lie about his behavior and manipulation being the source of her dogs death. Story #2, gf kicked out bf and found out later he had a background of harming animals and past gfs as well...

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Aw poor poochie.
Hmm I know this is tough for you. Is there any way you could keep him and just have your hubby stay away from him. I've gone through this before. I don't recommend giving the hubby away. I'M JUST KIDDING. :)
I've had a dog that did that. I just kept him away from the dog.
I took on ALL the responsibility for the dog: bathing, hair trimming (he did help me w/this), walking, having him go out to pee and he wakes me up early ha ha).
Can you try to keep him and do all the above?
How old is the dog?
I would hate for him to feel abandoned.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Does the Scottie generally get along with your mother in law? Do you have a Father in Law he might be scared of? I think if everyone is miserable, it might be worth trying it. And you'll still get to visit him, which would be nice.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Yes, it would be better for the dog to be happy in a happy home.

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I would DEFINITELY give the dog to my MIL - knowing that he would be taken care of there and loved...

If this situation continues - it will end up blowing up and ending badly...VERY badly...

Give the dog to your MIL - then you can see him when you want, the dog will get the attention that he needs and craves and won't be nippy...

Your husband will be happy and he won't have to move to another room because the dog doesn't like him....

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

let him go to a happy place.

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L.L.

answers from Lexington on

If it were me, I would legally retain ownership of the dog and do a trial basis and see how it goes. If the dog seems happier there, then roll with it. If his behavior worsens in the new enviroment, bring him home.

I would sit down with each party involved (MIL, Hubby, kids) and explain that this is only a trial and we all are searching for what is best for this dog. Otherwise there will be hurt feelings if it doesn;t work out. The last thing you want is for MIL to be offended that you take the dog back because it is not working out or for hubby to get angry that the dog is back if it doesn;t work out. You also don;t want the kids to be confused by this process (not sure how old your kids are)

Hopefully all will go smoothly and scottie wil love new home and MIL, but I am in the prepare for the worst, hope for the best camp.

Good luck!!!

A.H.

answers from Portland on

I would give him to your MIL if she can take care of him. It may be that the scottie was abused by a male or saw male abusing his beloved female owner in the past (we had a dachsund growing up that was in that situation and acted like that to my dad).

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Give the dog to your MIL. Your husband should be happy too!

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