Pyramid Scheme Has Put a Wedge Between My Husband and Son with Me.

My ex-husband got caught up in something like this. I have no advice, just {{{HUGS}}}

Just looked it up:

http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2008/0811/050.html

Pyramids are illegal. Get the information on this company and report it to your state's attorney general's office.

No legitimate company should require so much money up front. I'm not sure what it is that motivates people to give money to this - is there a product or service being sold? Direct sales is a legitimate business but make sure the company is a member of the Direct Selling Association before you get involved - that is an invitation-only organization and companies are only admitted after a year of scrutiny when there books are reviewed and their distributors/reps are interviewed to be sure they get paid properly and regularly. I have no idea why your husband's company is asking people to purchase "life or team"! Sounds really ridiculous.

And take immediate steps to shelter your money so he can't put any more into it. Get his name off the credit cards. See a lawyer. Open up another bank account in just your name and get a safety deposit box where you can put stock certificates, bonds, anything else he could cash in. Get a post office box so that any correspondence from your lawyer and any bank statements can be sent there where he can't get at them.

Good luck! This sounds awful.

Is there anything else in your family's life that comes close to the power that this scheme has over them? I'm thinking here about something like church, synagogue or other house of worship, if you so inclined. If this happened to me, I would get not just our current pastor but some former ones my husband greatly respects and have them do a bit of an "intervention" with him, talking to him about how this scheme is taking him away from his family, potentially damaging his marriage, etc. Sometimes an outsider can come in and make a person see things that he just won't see when the spouse brings them up. If you don't have a spiritual leader you would turn to in this way, is there perhaps a former boss your husband respects enough to listen to? (I say former because I would not let his current boss know about this mess; it could affect your husband's standing at work, frankly, assuming here that he has a job other than this scheme.) Is there a sibling with whom he gets along and whose word he might take at this point? A close, longtime friend who agrees with you that this is a damaging scheme and who might talk to your husband about it?

You say it has a "cult like hold" over him and you're right. It's operating like a cult does -- get people to be utter devotees and to begin excluding those (including family) who won't buy into the "gospel" they preach. For your own sake, try to get at least a few sessions with a counselor who could help you more than we can with specific strategies and things to say to your husband.

Others are right: Do not let your son quit his activities. Any group that would allow a kid his age to be involved in a pyramid is very, very suspect. He may be 14 but he's still a minor and YOU are still the boss. You don't say it but I figure maybe your husband is backing your son in dropping things to focus on this scheme.

Have you sat down with your husband and TOLD him that your marriage is at risk?

I think you probably need to pull money out of your accounts and hide it, because you're going to end up broke. If they have THIS much hold on him that you think that he might forge your signature on legal documents (I know a guy who took out education loans in his wife's name so that she was sidled with debt that she couldn't get out of because they were married), including maybe getting a second mortgage on the house, then you had better get yourself to a lawyer fast. I really think that you need to separate yourself from any credit cards quickly, and file legal separation papers so that you can separate yourself from HIS creditors. He will have many creditors when this thing comes crashing down on his head.

You should talk to social services about your son and how to get him back into school.

Maybe your husband will "see the light" and stop going to these meetings if he realizes that he's going to lose his wife, his bank account, and social services is up his rearend over his son going into business with him at 14.

Good luck - you are going to need it!

Dawn

I thought it might've been Amway. At any rate, you are not alone. I would consider marital/family counseling. It's basically a gambling addiction. My xSF was a gambler and would justify his behavior with not being at the slots, so what was wrong? What was wrong was that he played games with money and left my mother destitute when she finally kicked him out.

I agree with another poster that you need to protect YOUR money and your assets. Don't let him mortgage the house or clean out your joint accounts. If he's going to go down this path, then he does it on his own, after the bills are paid. I've supported my DH through a lot of ideas, but I will not support him through something that could make us destitute.

I think that the 14 yr old doesn't know better and just wants to be like dad. I would tell him that he needs to go to college and then if he wants to do whatever, so be it. We told the kids that college or trade school or some life skill was mandatory and beyond that they just had to do a job that supported themselves - no living in our basement at 25 playing video games. You can always decide to change a career. It is a LOT harder to go to college once you've taken a 10 yr detour.

Can you contact the BBB in your area? Find out what they know and have them investigate.. Also your state Attorney General should be contacted about this ASAP.

You don't mention what company it is or how long your husband has been a part of it.

You and your husband are a team, so a sit down with him about where your boundaries are with YOUR money and his should be happening. You can very easily go into debt purchasing the training materials, product, demo equipment etc...because people who are in it will tell you that you need to "invest in your business" in order to succeed.

My guess is that he will fall out of it in a fairly short amount of time, but in the meantime, you should be sure that you have some control over your joint finances, credit cards etc... and your son should absolutely not drop out of things to pursue a career in this. If he wants to learn about it, fine, but he needs to continue doing the sports that he likes and plan for college. No matter how good something sounds, education is important to have under your belt (even if they currently want to consider it a "back-up" plan.)

Good luck~

oh dear. i sold primerica for a while, and still remember (shuddering) what it was like. yes, these companies are very good at what they do. i lost a friend or two over that one.
the good thing is that after a while, when you are only spending money and earning back pennies for every dollar you spend, you wake up.
i sure hope your family wakes up soon.
khairete
S.

The best thing is to be supportive. If your husband and son are going to the meetings, they are learning great skills about how to talk to people. If it is not a fit, your husband will figure it out on his own. That is the best way to learn something. If he doesn't think that you believe in him, then you are not demonstrating it very well. Ask them both what their goals are and then tell them that you really admire how they are setting goals and making a plan to reach them. Don't be upset about them going to meetings. When they get back, ask what they learned and genuinely listen. Stop being negative about the business. Start asking what is positive about the business and then behave like you are changing your mind (even if you don't). Of course, tell him them you don't feel comfortable doing it but you are glad they found something they are passionate about. Our job as wives is to support our husbands and then if it fails, don't say you told him so, but that you admire his efforts and that you will always admire that great work ethic. His heart is probably in the right place, to provide a good life for you.

Tell your son that he will do better in any career, this one or anything else if he is well-rounded. Tell him that this is the perfect career to do along with sports and college. Sports teach so many good life skills and that you want him to experience those as well as the business. He needs to learn how to set goals, to train, to work as a team, to learn how to handle victory well as well as defeat, to deal with people that are not like him, to be an encourager as well as accept encouragement, etc. Also, tell him that in college he will learn more skills that will make him even better at the business, and will give him more contacts, which he will need to do this business better. In college he will learn how to stick with something, through the difficult times, and come out ahead. People will have more respect for him if he has completed a tough challenge like getting a degree.

Stop fighting it. Just let them be. I don't know what company he is with but if done right network marketing can be very lucrative. IF you are in the right one and you treat it the right way. If this is an MLM he may not make money but he has to figure that out. You won't change his mind. In network marketing they teach to remain positive which I believe you need to do in life in general. He will hate you for being so negative. It's ok to not be on board but you need to tell him that you don't believe this is the path for your family and that you don't want to be involved but you will let him give it a try. He will quit if he doesn't make money. You get burnt out very quickly if you're not making money.
How long has he been involved? What company is it? I may be able to give you more insight. I have a lot of experience with them.
And you son will figure out he needs to go to college. Most networking companies still promote going to college. Mine does anyway.
There are a lot of crappy things out there but there a few good ones too.

I do not have a lot of years under my belt being married but I do believe in some wisdom I heard from someone who has. follow your husband as he follows what he calls his dream and if it works it works if it does not be there with your support! I am confident that is easier said than done when you inpart your money and religious beliefs.

Pray pray pray for a good outcome and pray that your son decides to go to college even if it is on the side while doing the business. You have made it clear how you feel so now support and go to the meetings with him so that you can keep a watchful eye on the business and PRAY!

If you support while praying about what you see wrong things may change before you know it...Let God talk to the hubby now

The reason it has a cult like hold on your husband and son is because it IS a cult.

There is another mom on here who asked a similar question. It took me a while to dig back through and find my answer, but I wanted to give you the info because that day I did some research, because it intrigued me..... here is the link to that question and part of my reply:

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/5436350339794272257#re...

I googled this and this really seems like an MLM scam, I'm sorry to say. I am glad that it has inspired your husband to read, cults like this are quite motivating to individuals who fit their 'criteria'.... That's how people get in much too deep and then can't get out. I hope he hasn't given them much money.

I would not be a part of this, and I am particularly sensitive to scams like these, because my mom's ex-fiance was really involved in Peak Potentials, which is a HUGE scam. These are very dangerous - because once they have sucked someone in... the cult like mentality makes it very difficult for the person involved to see the truth.

I would do a LOT more research, if I were you. Once you have researched it - you will have to decide what to do about your husband.... it sounds like he is already drinkin' the kool-aid, as they say.

http://amthrax.wordpress.com/anatomy-of-the-team-life-bus...
http://amthrax.wordpress.com/fifty-questions-for-team-life/
http://www.teamscam.com/team-pyramid-scheme-forbes/

also - Forbes magazine indicated that this is a scheme ontop of a scheme... .on of the worst pyramid models around.
http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2008/0811/050.html

Forbes also has this to say "The reality is that a mere 1% of Team members make any money from involvement with the firm."

Sorry