My son has always used my hair as a soothing mechanism. Since he was just a few weeks old he has stroked my hair before he goes to sleep or when he is upset. He has never been attached to anything else. He is now almost 2 and at day care they are having problems with him pulling hair. Since I found out that he has been pulling hair at home I have been working to keep him from playing with my hair, but it is a huge struggle. I guess I just got used to it and didn't realize how much he actually grabs my hair.
What should I do to fix the problem at day care with him pulling hair? Do you think there is a connection between him using my hair as a soothing device and him pulling hair at day care? My initial thought is to try to find something for him to touch or grab instead of my hair like a soft blanket or stuffed animal, it just seems that nothing seems to stick.
Anyone have a similar situation or any advise for me?
My friend's son was attached to one of those ponytail holders with fake hair around it for a while. He used it instead of a blanket or pacifier. I thought it was odd that he carried it everywhere he went, but it might help soothe your son, then you could gradually transition away from that.
A mom I know started making dolls to get her own kids to stop using her hair to soothe themselves. Because other kids had the same need, she started www.loveybabies.com The business is run by a Dallas mom of 3.
Give him a good substitute, then start training him not to touch your hair, or anyone else's. It will probably be clearer to him if you make hair off limits totally rather than trying to differentiate between "gentle" is ok, but "rough" is not. Too complicated for his age.
Good luck,
S.
(SAHM of 3)
My daughted started pulling her hair out right before she turned 1 year and continued to do so until right after she turned 3. I took her to dr's, they told me she would out grow it that it was her way to soothe herself. I worried about it constantly and tried the dolls with hair, stuffed animals, etc. I just decided that I would take the dr's advice and let her grow out of it because I was worrying myself sick about it and didn't that to reflect on my daughter. She has a beautiful head of thick hair now!! At one point in time, she had pulled all of it out. My advice would be to give him time, he will eventually find other ways to soothe himself. I hope this helps you.
How about a doll with long hair? Just a thought...
i have two children in daycare as well. when my first was having issues at daycare saying "no" to the teacher everytime she asked my daughter to do something I had a conversation with the teacher to determine how they discipline her when she does that at school. She was a young two at the time. The teacher told me they put her in time-out; so I followed that same discipline at home when she told me "no" when I asked her to do something. She stopped the behavior within a couple of days. I followed up with the teacher and asked how she was doing; she said that she was doing much better and was not doing it anymore. I guess the key is to be consistent with what they are doing at daycare. I would warn him not to pull hair; if he continues with the behavior then put him in time-out. I would give him a chance to correct the behavior on his own first before you put him time-out. it will probably take a week or so before he is not doing it 100% anymore. i would also have a conversation with him prior to starting the discipline to explain that pulling hair hurts and if he wants to pull something then he can pull this blanket, or stuffed animal, whatever you give him. that way everyone is on the same page and he has a fair chance to correct the behavior. good luck!
Does your son play with his own hair? My daughter was also only soothed by my hair when she was young to the point that no one else could comfort her but me. I was so thankful when she finally had enough of her own hair that I could encourage her to touch her own hair rather than mine. Any time she would reach for my hair, I would gently move her hand to her own hair. It took a while but eventually worked. I now find her twirling and stroking her own hair when she is going to sleep or needs soothing. Maybe you could suggest to the teachers that they encourage him to touch his own hair rather than the hair of others. Good luck!
Is he pulling his OWN hair or the hair of other children?
If he is pulling his own hair, that's a sign of anxiety and maybe an anxiety disorder called Trichchotillomania. Several members of my family suffered from it.
It may be a transitional problem that will go away or a sign of distress. DO NOT PUNISH HIM OR SCOLD HIM. He will begin to see himself as weird and that only ascerbates the situation.
Take him to your doctor (if he or she is knowledgeable about anxiety disorders) and go from there.
I truly hope this is a phase. But, I wouldn't take any chances.
Definite connection. Add to all you've said so far the fact that he may be VERY upset that you have left him at daycare and this is his way of "acting out." Try the time-honored speech of "Mommy will be back to get you (after snack this afternoon, after naptime this afternoon, however your schedule and his coincide.)Make a big deal of it and make the connection between your coming back to get him and NOT pulling hair. He doesn't have to pull hair. Mommy will be back. You may have to do this for a few days and bring the daycare staff in on this. This has to be a team effort. (Then the daycare staff knows you are actively trying to rectify the situation. Later, Hope this helps.
