Pull up Dilemma.....

Updated on July 25, 2011
D.S. asks from San Bruno, CA
8 answers

my son is 3 been potty training him off and on since October 2010. A month into his potty training I stopped. Until recently (about two months ago) I started again. He is now in day care part time (3 days a week 8:30-3:30p) and they want him in pull ups.

I want to potty train my son in regular underware but how does a parent continue this method if the school he goes to want him in pull ups?

He sees pull ups as diapers and in not moving forward in his potty training and i know the pull ups have A LOT to do with it.

HELP!!!!

UPDATED:

** I trained my son full time for a week solid of potty training and he did NOT pick it up. Continued it for an entire month of constantly taking him to the potty every 10minutes to every hour. He was even in regular underware and went nude. My son just did not get it. Still today, we have to bring him to the potty, he will not tell us he has to go. Nor has him seeing other kids who do use the potty encourage him to go. ITs a battle to just get him to use the potty. Rewards do not help him. He was into them the first week, now nothing works. That is why he was stopped in 2010 and tried it again two months ago, and nothing....i have had him in underware throughout the day and battles with me to use the potty even when I remind him he needs to not go in his underware. He receives nothing put praise and rewards when he does go. When he doesn't well....i just tell him, next time buddy!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Just keep him home for one week. NO PULL-UPS just underwear. Be consistent put up with the mess and it will be done. If he has accidents at daycare then oh well they have to put up with it. I own a childcare center and have encouraged, and assisted hundreds of children in potty training. I am the opposite. I do not allow pull ups we go straight to underwear after the parents commit to a weekend of potty training with just underwear. It works great, usually within a few days its done. If you remain consistent it will work. It is very confusing to a child when you go back and forth, they are busy playing they don't remember what they are wearing. A daycare usually does not insist on pull ups, unless their policy states a child has to be potty trained to attend. If your son is not using the potty at all then he should just be in diapers until you continue with the potty training. Pull ups are going help. Most times children have to be potty trained in a preschool only environment not a daycare center. Cleaning up accidents is part of preschool and daycare. if you have successfully potty trained your child there is no guarantee he will never have accidents Children have accidents, it is the daycare workers job to clean a child if one should occur. I have had 4 year old out of the blue wet their pants and I would never suggest pull ups. If it is a good daycare center they will work with you. To me pull ups are confusing and just a glorified diaper. Give him a week home and work with him. Bring him back to school with extra clothing and tell them they are for accidents.

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

No using a pull up is messy for the daycare, but underware is the way to go for potty training. When my kids were at the training stage our provider said no pull ups allowed. The thought was, bring in 6-8 pairs of pants, undies, socks and a spare pair of shoes. They had the kids pull off their own wet soiled clothes (or at least help). It happens pretty quick where the kids realize going in their pants does not feel good, it's wet and icky and they don't want to touch the clothing.

If your provider is not on board, I would try and take a Friday & Monday off work and for 4 days straight have him in underware only. I bet he will be ready to go. He will still have accidents every now and again, but hopefully it will not be all day every day.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

No offense, but the pull-ups have less to do with not moving forward than the fact that you've "been potty training him off and on since October 2010."

If you're putting him in daycare you'll have to follow their rules about diapers/pull-ups/undies. Think of it like he wears diapers at daycare until he is potty-trained. The only benefit to pull-ups is that he CAN pull them up and down IF he uses the potty there (which he might... peer pressure's amazing).

Since he's only there 3 days a week, you've got plenty of time at home to do bare bottom. Spend a weekend, and get him potty-trained!

HTH
T.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Talk to the school about why, you did not give a reason, and discuss an alternative game plan wiht them. They must know why you do not want to use pull ups, but then again they must have a good reason.

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K.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It took two days, twenty plus pair of underwear, a whole lot of baths and a carpet cleaning to potty train my twin daughters at age 2 1/2. I, too, wanted to underwear train. Time was limited and so I spent Saturday and Sunday letting them run around in underwear. We didn't leave the house for those two days. I had their potty ready. As soon as they "let loose", I waited a minute so they could feel the wetness and then took them to their potty and had them try and go again. Then we would get them cleaned up. We did our best to let the accidents happen in the areas of the house where there wasn't carpeting. Easier said than done. I would ask them if they felt like they had to go and then they would try. By Saturday evening, they were getting the hang of it. Of course, I wanted them dry at night so they wore diapers. Sunday morning, one of my girls woke up announcing that she needed to go potty. By late morning, the other followed suit. By Sunday night they were pretty much potty trained and had only a handful of accidents in the next few weeks. On Monday I had my carpet cleaned. On Tuesday I had my sanity back. A month later we had a lot more money in our checking account:-). Good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Norfolk on

I agree w/ the moms who say take a couple days off and let him run around in just underwear or naked even. It took a couple days for my boys to get it. I tried pull ups and when they realized they can still go in them, you get no where.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Ok... why have you been doing this since October? It takes a week- tops- if you do it consistently.

Take a week and JUST STAY HOME to do it. Seriously, I took three days off of work (ended up with 5 days at home incl the weekend) and did nothing but potty train. Let him run around in undies and put him on the potty every hour. Give him an M&M or another very small treat every time he sits and "tries". Starting on whatever day you pick, no diapers (except for sleeping).

I will get slammed for saying this, but it's really likely that his lack of independent toileting is more a reflection on your consistency and interest than his. Just pick a few days and stay home with him until you see that he's going every two hours or so and starting to initiate it on his own.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Sounds like his body is not mature enough to know and control his need to urinate.

Lots of kids get trained in pull-ups. You cannot change the day care policy. If it's important to you to not use pull ups you'll have to find a different day care.

When you describe the situation as him having battles with you, I suggest that training has become a power struggle and the best way to handle it is to back off and wait until his body is ready and he is willing.

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