Problems with the Neighbor

I am thinking I would invite the kids to play at your house but not let them back over there. Sounds like your kids are turning in to witnesses instead of friends. Yea for you that she recognized abusive behavior AND told you about it. I guess I would tell my child that she needs to stay sensitive to the neighbors kids and see if they really need them one day but never to confront the neighbor themselves. This is an adult situation and she should let the adults do any action required.

I would tell them that they will not be going to that house anymore. I would let the wife know her children are welcome to your home to play. I would ask her if she needs some help. If so help her find some agencies that can give her the information and help she may need to get herself and her children "safely" out of an absive and possibly a dangerous situation.

I would tell my children that it is normal for moms and dads to disagree, but it is NOT normal for them to behave in the manner in which you have described. The man pulling his child by the hair out of the pool.....That is abusive behavior.

yes, i would tell them that what they are seeing is wrong and I would call CPS! Somebody needs to be an advocate for those girls!

I would tell my kids that if they felt it was abusive, while being in the moment and hearing/witnessing it, then it most likely was abusive. Then I would have a long talk about the whole thing and how now that they have seen some of what it looks like and feels like, that they are better armed for their future and to steer clear of it, and know what to watch and listen for when it comes to their own personal relationships...and how it doesn't even have to be romantic relationships in the far distant future, how you can be verbally assaulted by peers, co-workers and even bosses and complete strangers on the street for crying out loud.

Then Dad and I would have a discussion with them about how playing with neighbor's kids might need to be done outside or at our house for awhile.

~I would particularly reinforce the notion that any adult calling a child stupid, idiot or dumb baby is SO NOT COOL...like EVER!!!!

I think that their reactions have shown the truth, and what type of people they really are. Normal people don't get that defensive about something that is completely untrue.

That is a really tough one. First off, I'd stop letting my kids go over there to play. If the kids get along well, invite them over to your house.

I would be as honest as possible. But it's so hard because if you tell the whole truth - yes, that is abusive and mean and unacceptable, then young mouths repeat what you say and it's won't go over well if your kids are telling their kids who then tell their parents what their friends across the street really think of them.

But my guess is that the marriage is in serious trouble and what you are seeing from across the street is only a drop in the bucket. I guess I think say as little as possible, but make sure your kids know it's unacceptable to be around that. I'd probably start to distance the kids from them a bit, but keep an eye out incase you start to think DCFS needs to be called.