Problems Sleeping?

Updated on July 25, 2008
C.R. asks from Turlock, CA
26 answers

Hello, I am a mother of four, I am in my late-thirties and I have problems going to sleep. Does anyone else have this problem?? Any suggestions??

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the advice!!!! I have found that a nice, hot shower plus, the warm milk w/ vanilla and cinnamon worked like a tranqualizer..... even have given my kids some of that milk concoction.... thanks a bunch.... C. R

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I get horrible insomnia and I found a mouth spray at Longs that has Valerian and Melatonin that works pretty well. I can't recall the exact name of it, but it is an oral spray you take 15-30 minutes before bed. Don't take it too early, or it won't work. It really helped me to just settle and go to sleep so much quicker. It doesn't have the best taste (it is tea flavored) but I just take a swig of water on nights when I use it and it doesn't seem too bad.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

hi C.,

there is an awesome ayervedic formula called Deep Rest: mapi.com 800 516-2148/800 ###-###-####. also their is Calm, a calcium/magnesium supplement that really calms the body and muscles - in most grocery stores and supplement departments.

good luck!

A. m

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

C.,

I have trouble sleeping and the only thing that has consistently helped me is sleepy time tea by celestial seasonings and then homeopathic tablets called Calms Forte its by Hylands. I bought the pills at Whole Foods for about 10 dollars I think. No side effects and helps you to sleep.

Good luck!

Molly

1 mom found this helpful

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.,

If it were me, i'd try Camomile tea first, and if that doesn't help, then I would try 2 Valerian Root capsules 30 minutes before bed. You can get the Valerian Root at any health food or vitamin store. The Valerian is very strong.
When your life settles down a bit, you'll sleep better. I'll bet you are just really stressed out. And we ALL know that stress wreaks havoc with our bodies and minds.
I hope it gets better for you and yours...

Take care,

T.

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S.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi C.,
I have been going through the same thing for the last 3 months. Let me tell you the things I have tried that have helped. Peter Gillham's Natural Calm Plus Calcium, Solaray's Sleep and Doctor's Best Best L-Tryptophan Enhanced with Vitamin B6 & Niacinamide. I have also heard that taking Melatonin with the L-Tryptophan is even more effective. I haven't tried the Melatonin yet. I have also used St. John's wort with a lot of success in the past. Also, for the first time last night I used Sleep MD and got the best sleep I have had in weeks so maybe I am on to something there. You can get all this cheapest on the web at http://www.vitacost.com/

I have used Ambien and Xanex in the past and they helped a little but it was horrible getting off them. Plus, I don't believe prescriptions are good for our bodies anyway.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C., I have had success with some natural products that are liquid: One is a liquid melatonin supplement and the other is an herbal tincture with a unique combination of herbs that help not only with sleep but stress also. I have also used valerian tincture. Also I take a (delicious by the way) liquid calcium before bed and that is also helpful. I have read other suggestions from women on the site and I really want to encourage you to find a natural remedy. They CAN work. Being on any kind of drug or synthetic to cure a habitual problem can have long standing raminfications!
I have raised 3 children and I have used these products on my children as well. I would be happy to give you more information. You can e-mail me at ____@____.com
I'd love to hear from you!
K.

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm 43, and I've had sleep problems since my early 30s. Yes, some of it is stress, because the more stressed I am the more frequently it occurs. My problem is not falling asleep, it is staying asleep. I am almost out when I hit the pillow, but after about 4 hours of sleep, I'm awake and can't go back to sleep. Then I'm tired in the morning. I've talked to my doctor(s) about it. I've been thru 2 since this started. They both give me different answers. I've never taken any prescribed medication. I have on occasion taken otc sleep medication like tylenol pm. Both doctors seemed to think if I exercised daily it would help. The second one did tell me not to exercise after 4pm, because exercise will confuse your internal clock. The exercise actually does help, but I'm just not very physical. I just don't obsess on it much anymore. If I wake up and don't go back to sleep in about 20 minutes, I read, clean house or watch tv. It seems that if I do something else it doesn't cause me as much anxiety. I've noticed my neighbors light on in the middle of the night when I'm awake, and asked her. She is in her late 60s. She says it has been this way for her also for years. Same thing with my mother-in-law. They take the same approach. Get up and clean or read. Even if you're tired, at least you'll have a clean house.

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V.R.

answers from Redding on

you can also take melatonin in pill or liquid form about an hour before you want to go to sleep. It is a natural hormone in your body that helps you fall asleep and stay asleep.

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K.B.

answers from Stockton on

Dear C.,
My name is also K. and I just wanted to see if this helps....STEP BACK AND BREATH!!!! I was to this way and I let it get to a Anxiety Attack and let me be the first to tell you, as a 23 year old mom of two aslo working full-time and am with a alcoholic boyfriend, I just need to step back and breath. Life is stressful and I just started going to a really BEAUTIFUL Church and am learning that any problems you have give to the Lord. What ever is going to happen will happen and there is nothing we casn do about that. I respect you for asking for help that is one thing I didn't do, and ended up with Anxiety.
You have alot to be proud of, you are a single mom of four kids and you embrace the Lord!!!! So my advise would be to just take some time out for you and BREATH!!! It is so healthy to take time for yourself.
Anyway I hope this helps....Take care and may God bless you and your children.

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J.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.! Wow - you sure have your hands full. It does not surprise me that you have troubles sleeping - probably have a lot on your mind when you finally lay your head down at night!! I also believe that the Lord helps us along and I am inspired by your faith.
I have five children and have also struggled with the sleep thing. My doctor finally prescribed trazadone for me. This used to be used as an anti-depressant, but was discontinued because it made people a bit drowsy. I only take half of a pill (the smallest does possible) and it has worked miracles for me. I never feel drugged out, I can always get up if my kids need me, but I'm able to relax and fall asleep easily - and feel like a "normal" person might when they try to go to sleep! :) Trazadone has been around forever so there have been years of study about this drug. No bad side affects or addictive properties. Maybe ask your doctor about it. It boosts your seratonin and - for me - helped me beyond what I can describe.
Depression sets in quickly when we are sleep deprived so I'm so glad you're trying to find a way to combat that. I hope that between my response and others you can find the right approach for you and get back to some good REM's! best of luck to you.
J.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Whatever you do, don't take Ambien!!! It is a killer. My husband just died from it. He had all the side effects of the drug and took his own life. Try natural things like a lavender bath before bedtime, soothing music or white noise, a massage before bedtime, etc.

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L.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I've had problems with sleep on and off for most of my life. A therapist just suggested sleep glasses to me. Google "sleep glasses" or go to www.sleepglasses.com. You basically wear these "blue-blocking" glasses for a couple of hours before going to bed. By blocking the blue light, it allows melatonin to flow even when you are exposed to light. They also have light bulbs and nightlights.

I just got this suggestion last week so I haven't had time to get them or try them yet. Good luck! -L.

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B.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, it usually happens when I have too much on my ming and not enough time to wind down. Sounds like given your situation that might be the case. Do what you can to try not to take on more than you can. When I can't sleep I try a warm half glass of milk with vanilla and cinnamin. Sometimes I just get out of bed and sit yoga style cross legged and focus on breathing. Hang in there, take care and try to get some rest.

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T.D.

answers from Sacramento on

My heart goes out to you. Sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life, no wonder you can't sleep. My best advice is to remember to take care of yourself. It's really hard to make time for you when everyone and everything around is demanding something from you. But you can't give anything of real worth if you don't have it to give. Spend some time alone, maybe doing the things suggested here, do them with the Lord and He will replenish you and give you what you need. Mat. 11:28-30
Hang in there!

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P.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like you have reason to be stressed. You have to be very careful to not overuse but a mild tranquilizer such as Lorezepram helps a ton. It just relaxes your mind a bit. You can function normally as people take it during the day but I find it "turns my mind off" at night. I limit to once or twice a week, 1/2 a milligram, but knowing I have it as a back-up helps other nights. I think it is 10x better than any sleeping pill and know many people who agree. Melatonin is natural and also helps.

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S.T.

answers from Fresno on

Dear C.,

The problem with not being able to fall asleep is that it’s self-perpetuates. You’re stressed, you can’t sleep, you’re stressed because you can’t sleep!

Does it sound like I’ve been there? I have. I’m a single mom of five. When the doctors say take it easy or you need rest, it sounds like a foreign language. How exactly am I suppose to do that? My problem, sometimes I don't know I am stressed because it's a constant state of one thing or the other. It catches up. I have used the over the counter sleep aids in the past, but I just don't like the way they make me feel.So I did some research.

You received some good advice but I’m going to go in a slightly different direction and let you know what works for me. First: Aromatherapy. I know it sounds out there but our brains do respond to different scents. Lavender will relax you. They make wonderful sprays. My favorite is Bath and Body Works Lavender Vanilla. Spray it on your pillow and your sheets. If you want something more organic, you can go to a health food store and buy lavender oil (which also works on headaches) or I’m sure they have something else there.

Go to sleep at the same time every night. Exercise during the day, even if it’s just a walk, and make sure you get sunlight. (not through a window)to reset your biorhythms.

Chamomile tea with 3 cloves right before bed works wonders. Crush the cloves with the back of a spoon and let them soak for 3-5 minutes with the tea. And if you don’t practice yoga, or anything like it, deep breathe. Breathe in peace, breath out stress. It sounds like you have faith in God so I’ll add when you breathe out, give everything to God, take in his peace, but concentrate on that only.

Believe it or not: Warm milk works. The calcium… go figure. You might also take St John’s wort and Valerian root. If the cause is partly hormonal, these will help.
Good luck, God bless.
S.

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D.A.

answers from Sacramento on

stop all caffeine intake. it worked for me. i drink mint or sleepytime tea in the morning and juice and water the rest of the time.

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K.B.

answers from Yuba City on

You may be perimenopausal. sleep disorders are common thru menopause. also worrying can cause this, and teenagers add to the worry.
so in a way it is very normal. I got "fixed" when I had my last kid, did you? If so you cut two of the 4 blood supply to ovaries. Body clock can get a bit wacky. I use herbal black cohosh Estroven PM before bed, plain black cohosh in the am. I used to have trouble falling asleep, another problem I still have occasionally is waking up WIDE AWAKE in the wee hours. I read before bed til I get drowsy - I hope this helps!

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear C.,
Bless your heart.
I am a single mom as well and I know it's difficult with two children, let alone 4. My kids are just shy of 10 years apart.
My ex-husband makes things as difficult as humanly possible because he's not over me leaving him 12 frigging years ago and working full time on top of it all....
I'm not working right now as I'm recovering from a broken leg, but I know all about the no sleeping problem.
I've become a full blown insomniac.
I am one of those people that is devoted to everything I do. When I am at work, I still have to make sure things are fine with my kids. When I'm at home, my mind is still at work. In fact, many a night, I've dealt with phone calls and clients and appointments in the middle of trying to get dinner ready.
I am going to be honest right up front and say that I do not practice what I preach. But, you have to try to find some YOU time. Even if it means going and getting a manicure on your lunch hour.
I don't know if you have ever tried Valerian root. You can get it just about anywhere and at health food stores. It's supposed to help with sleep. I will warn you, it tastes horrible. St. John's Wart is also supposed to help.
The thing that really worked for me, up until I broke my leg, was walking. When you get home from work, change your clothes, and get the kids outside. Even if it's cold. I don't know where you live, but surely there is somewhere you can make some loops around the neighborhood and talk and chill with your kids. Let them talk about their day and what homework they have, etc. Then, come back and make dinner together and work on school projects, etc.
I am always so go-go-go that doing that with my kids really helps me to get into a different mind set once I'm home. Also, a nice long hot shower or bath before you slip into bed is very calming. If I can't turn my mind off, I think of a favorite song and hum it or sing it to myself while I'm relaxing. You know what's funny? I got my kids Schoolhouse Rock educational videos and even bought some for my friends little boy who is struggling with school. Lately I have the schoolhouse rock songs in my head.
Just take care. I really know exactly how much you struggle except for the fact you have double the children. And, since you mentioned the Lord, I guess it's okay to say that I do a lot of praying and having faith and believing as well. I don't think I could get through a day without it.
If you ever just need someone to talk to....let me know.

Best of blessings to you.

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D.H.

answers from Fresno on

I havn't slept well since my daughter of 21 months was born!!! Anyway I take 2 benedril every night to help me go to sleep. Slaying asleep is more my problem... always checking on my girl!!! And I believe the Lord will work everything out... In His time!! Hope this helps!

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V.T.

answers from Redding on

I manage a medical spa in Redding, CA and make a line of natural therapeutic essential oil products from my organic farm.

One of my products, sleep salts, is an effective aromatherapy solution for sleepless nights. I use it to get to sleep and to get back to sleep if I awaken in the middle of the night. (Due to fatigue and stress I have suffered from insomnia for years and developed this product in an effort to avoid pharmaceuticals (which I thankfully have)). I make the product in a lavender-based scent and a bergamot-based scent and it has proven effective for men and women alike of all ages.

It's available through my website: www.mccluckfarms.com, or you are welcome to email me directly with questions.

Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I have had trouble sleeping for years. I started with Tylenol PM, which is totally harmless. Now I alternate between Ambien and Lunesta and have no side affects. I am resolved that this is a lifetime problem and I will do what I need to to get a decent nights rest. I have also tried most of the herbal remedies, teas over the counter stuff with little luck. Good luck.

I am a SAHM of 4, ages 14, 10, 7 and 4.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I see a lot of people recommending melatonin... that's not a good idea. Your body should produce this on its own and if you start to supplement it from outside yourself then your body will cease to produce it for you... then you REALLY WILL BE EXHAUSTED!
I would recommend increasing your physical activity during the day, consuming no sugar (natural or artificial) 3 hours before bed and then if you still have issues get yourself some 5-HTP. It's the precursor to seratonin which is the precursor to melatonin. It will trigger your body to make melatonin instead of infusing your body with it via pill or liquid.

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N.R.

answers from Redding on

Hi C.,

I have 2 teens myself and I teach first grade this summer. I was having all kinds of health problems as well as trouble sleeping. A friend gave me a sample of MaxGXL and it worked GREAT!! Now I sleep through the night, and my other health problems, aches & pains, are all under control. It's been GREAT!! MaxGXL is all natural too. I get mine from www.maxgxl.com/maxmagic. Maybe it can help you too.

Good luck!!
N. :o)

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D.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Christy.

Your entire life right now is probably to blame for your lack of sleep. I am also a single mom. I have two boys, but they are a handfull. I've had trouble sleeping since my divorce and I'm not sure if it is just the stress, or if my biological clock is sending me toward peri-menopause. I'm older than you, 48, but was in my early 40s when this started happening. I usually lay in bed dead-tired but unable to sleep for an hour or more and then wake up every morning at 3:00am. I don't have to get up until 7:00am, so I do get a little sleep. But I think it is mostly just all the things going on in life with work, kids, money, etc. that keep us up.

I know the Lord cares because He's done some major miracles in our lives. I wish He would take all the burdens away at once, but it seems there is always something to worry about. I think the solution is to destress, whether that means talking it out, exercising, or just giving it over to God. I know it doesn't go away completely, but it is helpful to consciously destress. I'll pray for you. Where do you go to church? If you ever want to talk, please email back and we can exchange phone numbers.

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K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

You are obviously not tired enough. JUST KIDDING!!! I use Excedrin PM because my Obstitrician reccomended it as gentle enough for a baby when I was pregnant.

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