Problems in School.

There was another mom asking about this in a sense recently, oh by the way hi Jonave!

But just stick with it and make it a consistent routine and do the same thing every morning with drop off and before you know it she will be running into school and you will be sad because she seems not to care about you leaving any more. IT WILL COME!!!! My two go to a private school (Montessori) and they both have done this and have had relapses...just keep it consistent...you will be fine! Hang in there A.

She is in a new environment and you are going to have to just let her cry. She will be fine. It is a form of separation anxiety and she will eventually be ok. Just give her a hug and leave. The longer you stay the worse it is for both of you.

Why do you want her to grow up so fast anyway? She needs to have fun until she goes to school not be in school from birth up. She will learn everything she needs to know at what you call the expensive day care before she starts kindergarten and they wil make sure of it. My 18 month old can count to 5 already and say his ABC's.

I work at home so I do get a little more time with them to let them play after being cooped up all day as school. But they love it. The teachers are great and they love the children. That is more important that making sure she is going to LEARN.

Are you kidding? Why in the world would you want to put a 12 month old in such a structured environment? I'm really not being judgmental, it just seems to me, that at 12 months, she's still a baby. She needs love and cuddling, not little mini-desks. If she's not getting that, then there's probably not anything you can do to make the transition easier. I guess she'll just get used to it. I know that you stated that traditional daycare is nothing more than "expensive babysitting," but Madison IS still just a baby. For some kids, that kind of structure might be ok, but it doesn't seem like it's right for your child. I understand that you HAVE to work, but I would pull her out and put her in a more "loveable" daycare. They will back you up on the potty training... most of them will do what the parent wants. And even traditional daycares teach numbers, colors, abc's, etc. Most of them have computer classes and some even teach spanish as a second language. The difference is, there is very little structure, there is no uniform, and there are no little mini-desks, but there is love and kindness. Again, I am not judging you, just putting in my 2 cents worth of advice!

I am on staff as the counselor at a premier child development center in Kennesaw so I am very familiar with what you are facing. I've been a mom on your side of the day care door as well! So, please know I empathize with your situation. I can assure you that children this age are all struggling with the internal crisis (also growth opportunity) of independence vs. dependence. Giving your daughter the experience of knowing she can separate from you and survive is critical to her development into an independent person. I find that it is truly best that parents have close and special time with their child upon waking but when you arrive at that classroom door, it's crucial to be all smiles, one big hug and a kiss and a vote of confidence in and for your daughter that she CAN do this! "I believe in you! You can do this!" and then blow a kiss, a smile and turn and walk out quickly. She needs to feel the anxiety of seeing you walk away but also remember your smile and vote of confidence and then have the experience of recovering from the anxiety and succeeding independently. It's not as if you are leaving her by the road side! She will be cared for.... Our child care center separates children by developmental stage rather than simply age much more than those you are describing so children are in their own developmental groups. It is good for them not damaging! And parents guilt and misconception that they are the only one who will truly love your child actually impedes the child's positive development. I counsel parents on this in my private practice and at the child development center (Foundations for the Future) on this and will be happy to help further if I can. Just send me an email! Good luck! - L.

My daughter went through that aslo. The best advice I have is to keep you drop off routine consistant. While you dirve to school talk about what she can expect. Park the car, walk inside, put your things up, etc. Try to stick to the steps you told her even if she starts screaming. This will reinforce who is in control and she will know that you follow through with what you say. Although she is expressing her feelings, she is also trying to get attention from you. Let her teachers know what your drop of routine is and ask them to help distract her or simply to hold her for a moment while you get out the door.
Once you leave she'll probably stop crying soon. I use to wait outside her classroom door for a few minuites to make sure she was okay and a few times I called the school after an hour or two to make sure she was okay. Also you can make sure that the teachers and staff are treating her nicely. If she is having trouble with a teacher you can talk to the centers director about what is going on. Hope this helps.

You are to be applauded to have created this type of bond with your daughter. You both have enjoyed that time spent together. Now, this time of separation can be difficult but children adjust better than we think. You have made a decision that pulls at the heart string of any loving mother and especially us who are single. My son is now thirteen and he have always been educated through the private school arena. I was torn as well in those early days and truth be told even now during special weekend events, I am torn between that emotional side and the professional side. All in all my son have grown up to be a great young man who know that his mother loves him. Your daughter will continue to have a bond that is special and you have made a wonderful choice to be both a mother and a career woman.
Keep up the good work and know God will guide you and give you the strenght you need to endure.

I know what you are talking about. The only thing you can do is give her time. My daughter used to scream as if someone was strangling her at that age. It is going to last for a while, but as soon as she gets into the routine and gets comfortable with the teachers, I promise you it will end. My daughter grew to like her teachers so much that she still says she loves them. I would just give it time.

Also, if you would drop her off and not linger around the class that would help alot. I know it is hard, but you staying around after dropping her off will only make it worse. I am sure her teachers can handle her well. I have always been taught the parents who don't immediately drop the child off and stay around longer are the ones with the kids who have the hardest time adjusting. It is also frustrating to the teachers. So I would kiss her and hand her off to her teacher, and leave. It ia going to break your heart at first, but you will see a quicker adjustment if you let the teachers handle it without you. I have been guilty of that with my first, but thankfully I had a relationship with his old teacher who felt comfortable telling me that. I noticed a change after I stopped, and I noticed the parents who continued had children that had problems adjusting, even through Pre-K. It may give the child hope that if they cry and scream, mommy will not leave. Good luck to you and welcome to the coming toddler motherhood. :)

shes in a new enviroment and shes prob got a bit of seperation anxity.

shes 12 months old she a baby shes not a child yet shes a baby she should be playing and figuring out how to crawl and walk not being trained. dont push her to grow up faster than she will, it happens too quickly as it is. By the time my daughter was 2 yrs old she was counting in english and spanish and knew shapes and colors and her alphabet. she also did sign language. relax your daughter will be fine being a baby first like shes supposed to be, shes only been in this world for 12 months thats a pretty short time. shes still getting used to being out here.

as far as the seperation anxity goes theres not much you can do. you can go early and stay a few minutes with her talking to the teacher playing with her if they let her play.

I know what your going through. My son just went through that phaze and he has been going to the same daycare for about a year. I do teach in his daycare and what we tell our parents to do is bring a piture of them in and we tape in their cubby so they can look and see you anytime they want. You could also try taking a small toy or stuffed animal from home. Alot of children will hang on to it for a few minutes then drop it to go play then we just put it in their cubby. I have also learned to do this from my early childhood courses that i took. i do agree that you do want to smile and blow a kiss as you walk out the door and that you don't want to hang in the classroom with very long. She will soon start to expect that every day and when are running late oneday and don't have the time to spend with her she is going to be even more upset.