T.O.
My only advice is to try again... and make it CLEAR you are not amused by her "joking" about you and your family. Explain to her that you are at the end of your rope with her comments and have literally had to seek the advice of strangers because you are so frustrated. Offer her whatever ultimatum you are willing to follow through with. If you tell her it is so serious that you are willing to cut her out of your life then be prepared to follow through, no matter how painful the thought. If you tell her that you will have to seriously cut back on the amount of time you spend with her because of your pain, then be willing to cut back if she continues. I think that those who continue to invite people to walk all over them, generally get what they invite. Evil requires the sanction of the victim. Put a stop to her "joking" ways however you must, or in the end you and your family will be the ones to suffer. It certainly doesn't seem she is suffering much. Harsh, I know, but this has been a reality in my life with family. Good luck and best wishes.