Problem with Child Wiping His Own Bottom

As hard as it may be, it may just take someone making fun of him to drive the point home. My friend's son went through the same thing at the same age, and they talked to him til they were blue in the face, but it still didn't matter. He wouldn't use the bathroom at school to do #2 and it got to a point that he would have some "leakage", and some kids started teasing him for having a stinky butt. He got upset, but his parents just told him, "Well, that's what happens when you hold it too long and won't go at school!" I would think what happened before would have caused him sufficient embarrassment for him to realize what he needs to do - if not, maybe a talk with the pediatrician is in order. Or maybe at home he is not allowed to leave the bathroom until he makes an attempt to do it himself.

The only thing I can think of is that you need to talk with him about it...and how important it is that he learn to do it himself...and then maybe having him do it himself when he asks for help at home? I would start by having him at least try to do the wiping himself and then you finish or give a final wipe (so he feels like you are wiping) at first and then slowly stop helping all together?

That's all I got. Sorry.

Not exactly sure if this will help but maybe u can do a star chart with him like every time he does wipe he gts a stick and when he gets 10 or mayb start out with 5. So then once he gets the 5 stars he gets to go somewhere or do something he realy enjoys:) I dont have any other ideas hope it helps and good luck for both

I had a similar - and similarly embarrassing - situation with my son who is the same age and who is a collossal failure at pulling up his pants. What I finally did, out of sheer desperation, was give him a ten-day challenge. If he pulled his pants up as high as they could go every single time for ten days, I'd buy him a big present - his choice. He was so delirious over the prospect of whatever present - I honestly forget what he chose - that he overcame the aversion he had to the sensation of pants above hip level. We've had some slippage (literally) since, but the problem is about 90% solved.

For your son, one thought I just had is: Does he know HOW to wipe? Kids don't, always, and I can picture a 6 yr old being so embarrassed about the whole situation he'd rather put it out of his mind than ask for help.

there are times that peer pressure is a good thing.

having said that, of course it breaks your heart to think others might notice. just keep in mind that 6 year olds are pretty forgiving, with short memories.

i can tell you, i am in the exact same boat with my 6 year old. he "forgets" ALL the time.

yesterday i made the mistake of getting up late for church, so we were super rushed. i admit it, i saw the poop in the toilet ("luckily", mine also forgets to flush) with no tp and was too rushed to stop him and correct it. UGH! we sat in church yesterday and i could smell it a bit. just a whiff here and there.

i discreetly told him that he needed to go to the restroom and take care of it, that i could smell it and he wouldn't want anyone else to smell it on him. he seemed to "get it", and disappeared into the restroom. (optimistically, i'm hoping he even seemed a little embarrassed...)

i feel guilty because, he has SUCH a short attention span, and no focus, so i am always putting him back on task, "let's go buddy, get done and come on out. hurry up..." otherwise he's in the bathroom for 10 minutes and half the time forgets why he went in there. SO i feel like i rush him. i am trying really hard to focus on it with him. #1 letting him take his time, and #2, reminding him, when he gets done (SO hard to remember, for some reason)

good luck to us both!

Since this incident, has he had any further issues at school? If not, he's probably too embarrassed to let that happen again. Pack an extra pair of underwear and sweatpants in his backpack and tell him they are there in case of an emergency, but you expect he probably won't need them since he has already learned it would be much better just to use the toilet and wipe himself up in the future. Don't wipe his butt for him at home. That fosters the belief that "he can't" do this independently. If he stains his underwear, that's OK. He'll figure it out. If they get very messy, have a basket in the laundry room for them, and make him be the one to have to go out of his way to put them in that bin if they are really messy. Don't do it for him. He'll grow tired of this "chore" at home and figure out its much easier to just take an extra few seconds and clean himself up. Good luck!

My grandson, at 9, always wanted me to wipe him. I told him he was a big boy and could wipe himself. At first I stood in the room while he wiped. (4-5 times) Then I just told him, he had to do it himself. After a few times of telling him this and walking away he wiped himself.

I strongly believe that we have to put up with streaks in the undies until a child is able to wipe themselves. Because he holds it instead of pooping at school, I think that you've probably scolded him for not wiping good enough. I urge you to tell him that streaks are OK; that he just needs to do his best. Then expect to have streaks for a few months. I suggest he may be refusing to wipe because he's afraid he won't do it good enough.