Pro-active or Re-active?

Probably both. The problem with being proactive is that I tend to over explain things and suck the fun out of things.

I think I honestly fall into both camps depending on the situation. I try overall to be proactive. I'm a planner and I like to deeply analyze things before making a decision, think about the possibly consequences, put a lot of thought into the future, etc. Sometimes things just side-swipe you though and you become re-active!

I find myself without a lot of sympathy for the ones who are entirely re-active. I mean, think once in awhile! It's hard for me to feel sorry for those who completely fail to ever think or plan ahead.

I also think I'm a very proactive person. But there are plusses and minuses to that too.

I have a very hard time just "going with the flow" and, because of that, I think I miss out on some potentially joyful events. Sometimes I think that I "overthink" situations, and can become paralyzed by possibilities, or I get overwhelmed and frustrated when there are too many unknowns (and I've had a lot of those in my life lately). So yes, like you, I feel like I can shape my destiny and I like that. But it also sometimes makes me feel frustrated by the fact that there is so much that I cannot control, and I think other people do a better job with that.

I think you need to have a little of both to stay on a happy track.

Wow. A lot of judgemental comments about how people should all be planners. I completely disagree with thinking that everyone should think and organize and preplan the way you do. The world needs planners, the creative types that bounce from idea to idea, the lets look at the large picture and go for it people, and the lets observe how things are going and then suggest changes types. Everyone who isnt detail oriented, preplanning analyzers are not losers. We just think and function differently and add good to the world too.

Hi Denise
I am a re-active as I don't like to plan life too much (I do a bit more now since I am married with a child)
That doesn't make me less intelligent,quite the opposite,I am very intelligent and have little fear.
I go with the flow of energy which relates to my life.
I view life quite different to alot of people.
I see it through colours,vibrations,energy levels, a strong spiritual view,different dimensions.
Being re-active certainly doesn't automatically mean O. wallows.That a tad judgemental I think!!
I certainly don't wallow. I find it makes life more interesting. I use it for material for writing.
The times I am proactive is when I face a situation that I had previously learned from.
B.

I do both. I'm proactive for things that I can think about and plan about ahead of time... and I'm reactive to the things that crop up out of the blue.

I'm not a wallower though... just very adaptive, and pretty Gallic. S happens. Okay, how do we deal with it, and what's funny about it? When I can't find what's funny... I'm in trouble. And then I seek help of those around me. <grinning> Like all you lovely ladies and gents!

I think it's a really good Q, however. For myself I don't believe that there is such a thing as "over thinking" or "over analyzng" . I think that's just good planning. Sure, 99% will never happen... but tracing out all the possibilities (as long as O. can avoid getting wrapped up in them)... means that very little drops from the sky.

I'm completely biased, of course. I've been the fool who rushes in so often that I generally try and avoid that course whenever possible.

Both, depends on the situation.
Sometimes things do "just happen" without you playing part in any of it and sometimes you make a clear path and follow it through.
C.

The older I get, the less I count on things going as planned. I think it is a matter of expectation, you do what you can, try to think ahead, stay as infomrmed as you can, but don't plan any particular outcome, or you will be disapointed.

I read a whole lot of questions on this site from Mom's who are devistated by O. thing or another. Sometimes, you don't get what you want, no matter how much you plan, and I think it should be stressed, early and often, that life has it's own idea...you really have much less impact on outcome than is popular to think right now.

My husband and I have done pre marriage counseling for couples in our church, and our biggest job is to be real, tell them that they need to let go of the picture perfect ideal, because nobody really gets that, and life, is what you make of it, no mater what your plan was. So many people confuse plans and dreams. All we can really plan to do is work on how much grace can muster when things unfold, and grace, in and of itself, is proactive.

M.

O. could also say that Pro-active people are boring, stick in the mud planners who never stop to smell the roses. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Re-active people don't all 'wallow' in it (what exactly you mean by that was not very clear, although you claim to make things clear).

My take on your post is that you're a bit narrow minded with the 'two camps of people in the world' statement. You know, Adolph Hitler thought much like you do - the worthy people and the rest of the world.

***Don't put questions/statements out there that you're not prepared to hear opinions on.

You've just described me and my husband.

ME:
Plan ahead, and "things could be worse!" (I had a poor childhood so most things won't phase me so much)

HUSBAND:
Procrastinate, and then complain! (he had a nice childhood so when things go wrong he's not equipped to deal with it cuz for him it's worse than he's ever know)

These things do not mix! Be someone who plans ahead may be annoying to some but it beats being a procrastinator to the point where it damages your family's well being. Blah!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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