Private Vs. Public Schooling

Updated on March 02, 2008
C.M. asks from Galesburg, IL
10 answers

My 5 year old will be starting kindergarten this fall and I am torn on whether to send her to public or private school. Here is my town, the public school system is very highly regarded, but my child is somewhat different. She likes to be in charge all the time, very much a leader, and doesn't like to listen much. However, she is very intelligent (she's the most advanced student in her preschool class). Her preschool teacher is always telling us that she has to remind herself that she is only 4 (just turned 5 last week). We discipline her at home, but she still tries to do her own thing and gets in her moods (alot more lately). There is a private catholic school in town (which I started out in, the went to public school when I was in 3rd grade) and they have a stricter policy and more advance classes than the public schools. Public school is free, but the private school is not. I'm torn on which way to go. Any advise??????

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So What Happened?

Thank you to all who responded. Everyone really did make my husband and I think about a lot of things to consider. We have decided that if our little girl matures a little more over the summer, we are definitely sending her to the private school. We have realized that she is a leader, but still trying to figure out when to say when. She will probably do very well with the more structured private school curriculum and she has made a "new friend" that goes to the private school, so she won't feel too alone. So again I want to say thank you for all the advise.

More Answers

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K.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh man - we just got done with our private school search so maybe I can be of some help. We are from the cities so I am not sure where you are from so someo f this may not apply. We looked at over 60 schools on paper and we ended up touring 12 of them personally. In the end we did end up finding a school in Eagan. In talking to other parents in the area and doing my own research, we found that the Eagan school district is outstanding and so we are sending him to public instead.

You should tour both the public and private schools that you are looking at. Ask lots of questions and base your decison on what feel best. Take money completely out of it and ask yourself which one you want to send her to.

Private does not always mean better so make sure you ask specific questions about your conerns. If your worried about the fact that she may get kicked out of public, she is going to be more likely to get kicked out of private if she acts up. Private can be very particular in who attends their schools and tend not to want to deal with kids who will be problems.

I could go on and on so if you have specific questions just send me a PM and I will be more than happy to answer them.

But I would not make any decision before touring both the schools and meeting with the principals of both.

K.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.H.

answers from Fargo on

That is a very tough decision. I went to a private Catholic school grades K-12, and it was a huge financial burden on my family. It was a small school, very safe, but didn't have access to all the funding that the local public schools did. So, our classes were limited. I will be sending my children to public school for many reasons... you daughter sounds wonderful, and I think that a public school or private school will be good for her in different ways. If you can afford the private school and you are Catholic, then that would not be bad. But, there really isn't anything wrong with the public school option- teachers there might even be better equipt to handle all sorts of situations because they have more funding and higher pay plans! Good luck!!

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C.H.

answers from Fargo on

I too was torn between public and private education. I started the oldest of my four daughters in private school and fell in love...the amount of participation expected from parents guarantees that families will be involved. I truly enjoy being a part of my children's educations, so if you have some time to give and feel strongly about being involved, this is one benefit. The moral influence in the classroom is stressed at a level we find essential for our family...public schools, who are often underfunded, and don't have involved parents don't have the time to deal with little things we don't tolerate...such as name calling, foul language, bullying, inappropriate clothing, etc. As my children got older and we were enrolling our third child we decided the cost was too great and tried public school...this decision lasted 6 months, by christmas break we were back at our private setting. Our oldest daughter witnessed a knife fight, saw a child urinating in another childs locker, and developed an affinity for all black clothing! our youngest, also 5 years old, came home asking what it meant to stick your middle finger up at people, was made fun of for her manners, and was told that it was wrong to address teachers as "M'am". Ugh! I'm not sure if this is how all schools are now...I was raised going to public school and it was a nightmare of racism and bullying...if you can afford it SEND YOUR KIDS...if you can't, apply for scholarships, work at the school to help pay tuition, or meet with the priest to ask for a tuition waiver...Good Luck!

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A.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hello. I know what a hard decision this can be, and one that I know alot of parents struggle with. For me, I have never known anything but private schools because that's all I went to, K-8, 9-12, and even college. But for my husband his whole schooling experience was public schools, and now's he's been a public high school teacher for over 6 years. Keeping all this in mind, I've realized through my own experiences as well as my husband's and other family members, that I was pretty sheltered in private schools, and I think I would've benefited alot more from public schools; had more opportunities; had more chances to meet friends that were more like me; had teachers who actually were certified in what they taught (this was not required at the schools I went to and I don't believe it is at any private school), etc. We are definitely sending our daughter to public school, for several reasons. The main one being that we believe she will have more opportunities to be the person she wants to be; she'll be able to develop more easily because she won't be limited to what she can participate in, as I was in private schools, with very limited opportunities. Some private schools are bigger and have more things to offer, so I'm not just bashing them. I think it's up to each parent to decide what's important to them personally; maybe for religious reasons private schools are better for some and not others. We are Lutheran and that's how I was raised, but regardless, my daughter will still get to learn about religion from Sunday school and Bible classes and us. To us, education is very important and we just want our daughter to have all the opportunities that we can offer her; many of which I didn't have.

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M.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you can afford private I would go that route. Maybe it will help her in following the procedures laid out instead of doing her own thing. Having a religious teaching in the day doesn't hurt either. You can try public but if she gets out of hand they may want to diagnose her or kick her out of school. My younger brother had this happen to him. Public schools are bent on trying to make everybody happy and I don't believe in some of the teachings.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is the exact same way. I would never send mine to private though. Her public school has been able to "handle" my daughter and has directed her just fine. My daughter is in gifted programs at school too.

Doesn't like to listen, leader, bossy, has to have her way is a immaturity thing. Your daughter may be ready for kindergarten academically and be very intelligent as is mine but they may not be ready emotionally and socially. Your daughter maybe flying threw preschool but she may still not be ready for kindergarten. If you can't get along with other's, share etc... you need to wait for the maturity factor to catch up to the other children.

One of the worst things I ever did was send my daughter to kindergarten last year thinking oh she's an only child she'll grow out of her behavior issues but I realize now it was a lack of maturity. If I had sent my child to K this year she would have done so much better.

I don't think a "strict" environment will help it may only frustrate your child more and make her withdrawn or hate school. That's what happened with my child she had a very very strict K teacher and now a strict 1st grade teacher and that made matters 10x worse. I ended up putting my daughter in counseling and that's where I informed about brain devlopment and maturity etc.

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Q.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi C., my name is Q. T. i just moved to this area myself.. i hav a 9 year old and he attends lincoln center.. I would like to tlk to tou more about your situation.. if would help my # is off as of today but i will send you a mess.. n a couple of days.... when my phne is on .. Bye***

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P.L.

answers from Duluth on

hi, my daughter was the exact same way!! she is currently in Kindergarten now and I am so glad she is in public school. Being in a large class with other children, who all think the same, was a great learning tool for her. She has learned she will not get her way all the time because there are 15 other kids for her to share the spotlight with. Her teacher was actually shocked to hear that she Used to act the way she did! Public is the way to go in my opinion..... At least give it a shot.

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R.S.

answers from Sheboygan on

My daughter is the same way (and about to turn 5). But being in a public school has helped her learn that she does not always get her way and that rules are set into place for a reason. When talking with some teacher friends of mine, who teach private, they actually directed me to public school for our daughter. Plain and simply because she has more of a chance to learn and make more friends like herself. Just being in 4K right now has made her make HUGE leaps and bounds in who she is. We, and she, too has to remind people she is only 4. An example I have for you is... my daughter did not put her valentines in the other childrens mailboxes. When asked why she did not do it, she replied to myself and her teacher, "you (the teacher) said "everyone go put your valentines in" my name is not everyone."
First and foremost, whatever your decision is, go visit the school, even if you went there. Talk with the teachers let them know what you see in your child.
Good luck!!

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Hi C.!
I would say that if you can afford it then send her to the private school. Often private schools offer smaller class size and your daughter would probably benefit from that. Also, a more advanced class would give her the challenge that she needs.
I would do a little digging if I were you to "scope out" the teachers that your daughter would have in both schools and mabey that would help you find the best fit for your child. Good luck!

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