Preschoolers and Emotions

I have a 32 month old daughter that is EXTREMELY articulate and just starting to learn all about these complex emotions she is feeling as well. Despite being very articulate, sometimes she will apply a word to something that may not exactly be appropriate. For example every flavorful food is refered to as "spicy".

Your daughter saying she's sad may very well be her categorizing her feelings as "not being happy" (ie the opposite of happy is sad). When in fact she may be bored, frustrated, mad, etc but she knows she is certainly not happy.

Melissa and Doug make a great toy that had these little emotion dolls (looks like little eggs) and we have been working with them for about a month now. We talk about what each emotion is, when we both experienced it recently, and how we resolved or enjoyed it. We are having fewer "woe is me" meltdowns because she is better identifying herself and we are getting better with working with her too. Puppets and baby dolls are a great tool to help teach emotions and especially what you can do to change them if you don't like them. There are great books you can find too (we love the LLama LLama Mad At Momma book).

Another thing that has made our little one more emotional is that she is on the verge of dropping her nap so the days when she doesn't nap are a bit more emotional. Sleep, activity and diet can effect the state of being too. On those days helps to reward the good behavior extra often (special Mommy time, or favorite activity etc).

Good luck!

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. From the start my daughter (now 3 yrs 2 mos) always cried and needed so much attention just as you say. I knew she was a little different because with friends and family I was surrounded with other children all within 2 years, younger and older and none of them acted like her. My best friend with a little boy that is 5 mos older couldn't understand why I didn't like to bring her to parties or even stay at her house very long or why I needed to have her in bed by 7 or to stay home to get her nap in. Just being around her son, who is very loud and highstrung was a complete overload for my daughter and she would just end up crying. He fueled it by growling or hitting just because he knew it would cause her to cry more. It broke my heart to see that she couldn't get along with him. After a few of those visits and many other times of being around other children and at daycare (where the provider was very loving but very stern.) I knew something was off. The tiniest thing would set her off...a drop of water in her face at bath time, the slightest bump (that we knew didn't hurt) anything and everything would set her off on a screaming crying fit. I knew there was something that wasn't 'normal' about her. I put it to the moms on here first and one of them suggested the book "Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron. For me it was amazing. It was so like her in every way. It's teaching me to see those extra special qualities that highly sensitive children can have that make them so unique. I also realized that the highly sensitive nature comes from me (which explains a ton of stuff from the past). I wish I had only known about this earlier. I'm so happy to know that she is different in a normal way.
I also have a 10 month old that is completely different. My older child is also trying to do whatever she does.
We often threaten timeouts or taking something away so she will stop crying. The just let them cry thing doesn't work. Sometimes I feel so bad because I've heard making them stop can stifle emotion but you know there is only so much you can deal with before you want to go insane.
Back to dealing with spending time with my friend and her child. We have found that sending her into a quiet room to rest works wonders. We say she needs a reset because when she comes out she's fine. It's like hitting the reset button. I've also felt more comfortable telling him to back off and not forcing her into playing. As she gets older I'm noticing that she is gradually learning how to express herself more in words. When situations arise sometimes she will get overwhelmed and start crying. Most often I can recognize what is going on and I will calmly explain it to her and try asking her if that's what the problem is. If she agrees then I will help her try to figure out a solution which usually has a good outcome.

Kind of funny just before lunch today she comes out with I'm sad and just kept saying it. What I think she was feeling was that it was hectic getting lunch together quickly because daddy came home unexpectedly during lunch. The baby was crying, I was running around, he was on the phone and she was trying to get his attention. (He is very good with her.) I think she was so happy to see him but knew that she wasn't going to have much time to be with him it was overwhelming. I also must add that during the time it took me to write this she had a crying fit because she spilled a little yogurt on her stomach. :o) Sounds like you got some good responses. I hope we put you at a little more ease knowing that she is normal. Good luck!

I do think what you describe is very unusual behavior and more self-awareness than a toddler usually has. How does she know to describe her feelings as sad? How does she know the word sad? How did she learn to put herself to bed when she feels this way?

My mother went to bed when she was sad and I learned to do that as a way of handling my emotions. I didn't put myself to bed as a child. My mother may have done so but I don't remember. Have you put her to bed as a way of handling emotions?

I read books about feelings to my granddaughter, starting around that age but I don't think she actually described herself as feeling sad until she was 4 or 5. She would say she was sad if someone asked her if she was sad.

I do know that young children are not always happy and that just as with older children and adults there doesn't need to be anything identifiably wrong for them to feel sad. They also pick up on the feelings of people around them, they can appear to be sad when they're bored, and things to happen to them to cause them to feel sad. For example, they can feel sad after watching a movie or having a story read to them or when thinking about them later. They can feel sad because there is no one to play with them. She certainly does feel sad when she remembers the time when she was the only child. Have you asked her why she feels sad? How does she answer?

Could she be aware of identifying her feeling as being sad because she's heard you or someone else describe either her feelings or their own feelings as being sad? She sounds bright and would pick up on what is modeled by others.

Lying down when feeling sad and getting up 10 minutes later feeling happy is an excellent way to deal with her sad feelings! She is successfully self-soothing.

I suggest that some of her sensitivity and her longing for extra attention is related to now having a baby brother. Each one of us is born with our own personality and her personality includes self awareness and a sensitivity to feelings. This is not unusual. It's just unusual that she's aware of her feelings and found a way to manage the feeling at such a young age when she hasn't been taught to do so by you and/or her Dad. Perhaps she has a sensitive care taker or relative with whom she is often?

If your home life is stable and most of the time peaceful and loving then I wouldn't be concerned about it. It is good to be aware that she is a sensitive child and able to gear the way you parent to her sensitivity. Some kids need firm voices and definite consequences to learn how to behave. Others are sensitive enough that a gentle reminder will put them on the right path.

From your description of how you respond when she tells you she is sad I believe that you're handling it well. Unless she is sad most of the time I wouldn't be concerned. But if she's mostly sad or sad every day, I'd consult with a child psychiatrist.

When you say that you feel "empty inside" when she tells you she is sad, I am concerned about you. I've spent much of my life being overly sensitive to the feelings of people close to me. In therapy I learned that doing this usually indicates that one has poor boundaries. It is good to be empathic and able to relate to the person and their feelings but it's not healthy to "take on" their feelings. It sounds like you may "take on" or feel your daughter's feelings for yourself.

Perhaps you feel sad because she feels sad. You wish that she could be happy and don't know how to help her feel happier. It's important to know that we are not responsible for making anyone else, including our children happy. It is our responsibility to provide a stable home, sufficient food, love and attention, sound parenting practices, that sort of thing so that the child can be happy. However, we are not in control of our child's feelings. Each one of us has our own reactions to life's events. The same situation can cause one child to be happy and another to be sad. Then it's our responsibility to respond appropriately to the feeling while allowing the feeling to remain which allows the child to work out the feeling for herself.

We also need to be aware that the child and the parent are separate individuals and we will not always respond in the best way to how our child feels. That's OK. Both the child and the parent are human and a part of parenting a child is to allow the child to learn how to live in an imperfect world with imperfect people, including themselves.

I learned much of this while in counseling with my foster daughter whom I later adopted. Her birth parent's parental rights had been terminated which naturally caused her to have some very strong emotions. When she was sad, I was sad as I tried to comfort her. She refused my comfort which then made me feel inadequate. When she was angry I worked very hard to teach her how to deal with her anger which eventually led me to be angry because she would only get angrier, What I eventually learned to do was to tell her I loved her and then leave her to work out the feeling for herself. This is what you're describing as you doing when your daughter goes to bed when she's feeling sad.

What complicated the issue with my daughter is that even tho she didn't want my help she also didn't want me to leave her. I had to learn how to stay emotionally uninvolved while still being there for her emotionally. I had to separate my emotions from her emotions. I had to put aside my emotions that were triggered by her emotions and then deal with my emotions later. It can be very tricky.

Eventually I learned better ways of protecting myself so that I didn't have my own strong emotions triggered by her emotions. I'm trying to describe for you the possibility that you may need to learn how to do this. It's very complicated and you may want to talk with a counselor about the way you feel when your daughter feels sad.

For me, my daughter's feelings often triggered my feelings from the past. She was dealing with a sense of abandonment. My mother was often ill and emotionally unavailable to me when I was the age that my daughter was when she was expressing her emotions. Once I realized this, I worked on my own feelings of abandonment with a counselor. When my daughter was 10 and sobbed with a broken heart I also felt that my own heart was broken which made it difficult to respond just to my daughter's feelings. I would get my own experiences and feelings tangled up with hers. I did too much talking. The result was that she felt that I didn't understand and that I was thinking more about myself than I was about her.

Now, I'm able to just sit and listen. Rarely do I even verbally sympathize. My sympathetic listening is all that she needs to resolve the situation.
Your daughter is nearly 3 and probably needs something different than my daughter needed at 10 but this is the idea. Realize that your empty feeling is the result of your own life experiences. Deal with those and you'll feel less empty when your child is sad.

You are doing a good job allowing your daughter express and deal with her feelings. Now, perhaps you need help learning how to deal with your feelings that are brought to the surface by your daughter's feelings.

Also, you probably are not doing anything to cause her to feel sad. It is normal for her to feel sad. It's just not usual for someone that young to be so aware and know how to manage it. You may have even, without knowing it, taught her how to do this. You have, at the very least, provided a healthy environment for her to mature in this way

I just noticed you used the words "emotionally intense" when describing your daughter. Keeping in mind that she does have a baby brother and the usual life of a toddler to stress her, is she more emotionally stressed than is healthy? Life, even for a toddler, is stressful. She is learning new things everyday. Change is stressful, more so for some than others. You can see the ways she's grown and changed quickly in her short years. Good changes, to be sure, but still stressful. Some personalities do have intense feelings while others don't.

I suggest that if it seems to you that she is more often sad than happy and that this combination is noticeably different for her than other children that you should talk with a child psychiatrist. Talk with her pediatrician about this.

I don't think this one is about sadness I think its about getting your attention more than anything, maybe she has found the best way to get your attention yet!

M.-I was so glad to see your post. Your daughter sounds EXACTLY like mine. Mine is 2 years 9 months and is quite advanced verbally and physically (or so her preschool teachers and other parents, grandparents have told us). Because she is so verbally competant, her father and I talk with her much the way most people talk with older children and adults, not about adult topics of course, just full conversations. She too will sometimes withdraw emotionally and say she is sad. Although she typically does not remove herself from the situation the way your daughter does. I am sure that my daughter got saying she was sad from us. Because I have always tried to help her label her emotions, as a way of validating them. When I think the way she is EXPRESSING her emotions is inappropriate, I will often say something like, "I know you are sad that you can't blow bubbles right now, but I promise we will blow bubbles as soon as you get home from school. How about a hug?" So perhaps you or your husband do something similar, without thinking about it.

My daughter also cried A LOT as a young infant and is very demanding of our time and attention. But the good side of all that is that she CAN express clearly to us what she is feeling and she is such a joy when we do have time to fully devote to her, because she is so fully engaged in her relationship and interactions with us. She is also very observant and bright, so she is constantly asking questions like, "did you hear that noise, mommy" or "what is that, up there in the sky, by the wires?" Or catching us off guard with comments about her observations, like "Look that bird caught that fish. I don't think that fish wants to be eaten. I think he wants to swim in the pond with his family." It is a wonderful opportunity to not only experience life from your child's point of you, but to open their word to new things and a new level of empathy and understanding. But YES, it is very taxing and stressful when she is constantly craving/demanding our attention because we cannot drop everything we are doing to focus solely on her, or when her questions are endless and thought provoking, when I am already mentally exhausted from the day. So I know exactly how you feel.

As for "feeling empty inside", I can't imagine a parent NOT feeling heartbroken when their child is sad and withdrawn. I think most children your daughter's age just aren't able to express themselves as well as she is. I imagine many children might throw a tempertantrum, or cry, or get mad, because they aren't yet able to understand their feelings, or at least not able to convey them verbally. It's very frustrating for anyone to feel like their emotions aren't understood. And I'm sure many parents of children this age feel frustration and confusion over what seems to be "acting out", while the children feel the same way, because their parents can't understand how they feel. I actually think your daughter is handling her emotions amazingly well. She is able to acknowledge them and has even found a way to deal with them and then move past them. What a blessing! I wish I was so proficient at dealing with my own emotions! It sounds to me like you are dealing with it beautifully.

As for whether or not to try and help your daughter feel happy when she is sad, I take this on a case by case basis. Maybe you could teach her the word "disappointed" and help her subsitute that for "sad", as appropriate. We are all disappointed when we don't get what we want, and it might hurt your heart a little less to hear her say she is disappointed. Yesterday my daughter was sad because I gave the dog his dog biscuit before I realized she wanted to do it. In this case, I was able to acknowledge her disappointment, explain that I didn't realize she wanted to do it and then quickly think up something fun for her do. And then she was happy again. So redirection can be VERY helpful. But there are times when I can fully understand or appreciate that she is indeed sad (whether I think it is warrented or not). At those times I try to offer her comfort (briefly) and then try to let her deal with her emotions herself and find her own way out of her "sadness". Sometimes it works and sometimes I end up having to hug/hold her again. But then usually after some brief period of time I can distract her with something she enjoys, like "helping" me do something. (Which of course means it will take me at least twice as long to do it!)

You have the added difficulty of a second child, who is also on the move and in need of your time and attention. So I can only imagine that it must be even harder on you than it is on us. I know you will continue to find the strength to get through each of the day's battles as they present themselves. That is the best we can do as parents. But know you have my best wishes and support along the way!

As others have said, you can always discuss this with your pediatrician at your daughter's 3-year check up. He/she should be able to determine wether or not you need a referral to child psychologist, therapist, etc. Based on what you have shared here, I wouldn't be worried. But if she is "emotionally intense" in other ways that are less healthy, your ped. might have some excellent advice or a referral to offer you. All children whine, at least mine certainly does. So treat it much the same way you do. We tell her to stop and we don't respond until she can stop whining and use her words to nicely express how she is feeling or what she wants.

(I do worry that mine might be ADD, since I'm sure her father is/was, though he was never diagnosed. But that is something I will discuss with my own pediatrician as time goes on.)

Keep up the good work, Mama! And, geeeeez...sorry to be so long!

It is very normal for kid #1 to be upset and jealous about the new baby. Give her a few "Big Girl" privileges, such as a later bedtime (10 mins will even make a difference), let her pick her lunch or clothes, or whatever works for you. Make sure to give her some alone time.
On to her emotions.... If she feels better after a few minutes alone and comes out happy, then you might want to let her be. She may have an emotional or sensitive temperament and if she has figured out how to "re-calibrate" herself at 3, great. When she says that you are sad, simply tell her how you are really feeling and why. Take a little time to express how you are feeling and why during the day with her.
"I am happy because I am spending time with family."
"I am frustrated that I cannot get the top off of this jar."
"I am excited to go to the park."
She may not know the difference between all of the emotions, so when she is not feeling great, she says that she is sad. Unless something big has happened, let her go into her room and let her come out on her own. If a half hour or so goes by, check in. If she will come back on her own in 10 minutes or so, then let her be. Welcome her back and move on.
You can also ask her what will make her happy. (Sending her brother to the moon is an OK answer but cannot happen. Help her find other things that can lift her spirits.) When she whines, tell her that you cannot understand what she is saying and that when she can speak calmly and clearly you will be happy to listen and end there. Some kids are emotional, as are some grown ups. She may need to learn how to express and manage the emotions.

B. Davis

http://www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com
Because nothing is more important than family

you have one of these to, huh? :). my daughter is now 6. she was this way also when she was your daughters age. and even now to this day, she'll tell me, "I'm never happy" "I don't ever smile", etc. I let it upset me a lot, and think that I was doing something wrong as a parent. But one night she was laughing and cutting up with her brother, and I told her "See what your doing now? You're smiling, and you feel happy". And she just smiled and looked away. I realized that night that maybe her thoughts of what happy is aren't the same as mine. Maybe she expects to feel a rush of adrenalin or a huge surge of emotion. your daughter is almost 3 and while she is articulate, etc. her emotions are still immature and forming. I wouldn't worry about it. I would ask her to explain what's going on and why she feels unhappy. I have always tried to foster a very good relationship between my children (6 and 4). Once my son started walking and being able to play, my daughter was very happy. While they have moments, they have an awesome relationship, and love eachother greatly. You didn't say, but I would get her involved with helping your son walk or play. Focus attention on BOTH of them together, so she learns he's her brother and not her rival for your attention.
Also when my son was born, my husband spent the time I had to take care of baby with my daughter. That way she always had someone there with her. She had her one on one time with someone.

I'm not sure, it's so hard to say. If it concerns you, ask her pediatrician, or a child psychologist. It's probably nothing, but if it is something it's best to find out sooner so that u know the best way to handle it, and what behaviors to keep an eye out for. My daughter is 5 mo., and she is the same way. She needs constant attention. May I ask how you handed that when she was a baby? Did you give her all of the attention she wanted, or did u let her "cry it out"?

She might have a problem modulating her emotions to the environment. See an OT and maybe get a sensory diet of activities to rev her up a bit. It might also be a vie for attention (behavioral) but I would check both out since it's hard to tell. Also do not let your son walk at 10 months. He needs to crawl 4-6 months to integrate all systems and be ready for school.

Hi M.,
I have a daughter just a few months younger than yours and a son 17 months older than her. And my daughter acts the same way! I am doing the same things you are and I believe that to be the right responses but sometimes it really gets to me. I keep thinking that she'll eventually out grow this and see that she confirm our love for her everyday but that we won't be minipulated or guilted into making her the center of the universe. I spend alot of time with her and tons of affection and verbal affirmation- but nothing seems to be enough! I think we are doing right thing- affirm her but make her aware of others feelings and needs and not always putting herself first.
I also recomend reading the Bible to her (a kids Bible) so she also knows that God loves her too!

Are you feeding her well? REally no sugar- that will make her sad.
WestonPrice is a good resource.Nourshing Traditions is a great cook book.
best, k

First off, not all children are happy....you have the grumpy ones, the touchy ones and so on. My son is your daughters age is always talking about how he feels and we feel. It's a developmental thing and a great thing indeed. The difference is, my son usually tells me he is happy, we are all happy. At times he'll say scared or when he sees someone sad, he'll say sad and mad, so on. Has she mentioned other emotions too? If she is focusing on sadness, maybe she needs to learn to verbalize other emotions. When she claims you are sad redirect her observation and say, no I'm happy with a great big smile. Play games with her and make different faces representing different emotions. Have her guess them,show pictures of different emotions and have her pick out the one she likes best, the happy child hopefully. If she chooses the sad child, ask her why she thinks the child is sad.....let her talk and think. Then ask her how to make that child happy again and listen.....if she doesn't know what to say, help with ideas......playing a special game or eating a yummy treat, dancing, flying, going to the park, etc. and see what she likes.
You mentioned she is competing with her brother, I suggest having one on one time with her as well. Find activities for the two of you to do together.....girls have to stick together. This will help her understand that she is still important and has your attention, plus the time you put in with her now will be super beneficial during the teenage years! I suggest a class you do together not just watching her from another room. A music class is a good idea since she has so many emotions. It provides an emotional outlet, learns different feelings and you can bond together while enjoying yourselves and learning. I can send you a private message regarding classes I offer at home. I'm also a preschool teacher and hope this has helped a bit.

It sounds like she has learned to use her emotions to manipulate you and your husband for attention. My son was the same way and at times he is still is (he's 25 lol) Children that bright can learn how to work those emotions to their benefit and trust me because we are so connected it pulls at our heart strings. Does she act this way for others or just you and hubby? My son was a completely different child out. At school he would sing, dance, laugh, and at home when he wanted what he wanted the emotions would come out, from anger, to sadness, to tears. He changed when I changed. Try not to pay attention to these negative emotions and comment on her positive actions. For instance when she does something kind for her brother, tell her how proud of her you are and what a great big sister she is. Give her age appropriate chores to do with you, let her cook with you, set aside a special mommy and me time to read a story. She will learn that she can have your attention in a positive way without the drama. When she goes in her room to be sad just let her be, I bet she will come out looking for you when you don't follow her. She has learned that her actions are getting her attention. It could also be with the new baby so I think setting aside some time for just you and her can be a positive thing. Good luck, raising a child that bright and intuitive is VERY difficult, but rewarding.

In my case, my son (turned 3 ystrday), is realizing how to express his emotions. Although he is the type that many would say is very happy, he has his days when he feels sad. Lately he's gets sad because his younger sister (1 1/2) doesnt want to be bothered by him. He says she doesn't want to be his friend. Which lately has been a big thing with him.
When he first started expressing sadness @ around 2 1/2 there were days that he would wake up and say he was sad. When asked why he would say it was the stories in his sleep. So either dad or I would tell him a happy or funny story, or take time and play with him to get his mind off of what he dreamt. After that he'd go about his day.
There have been other things that have set off his sadness for instance he watched Open Season and he got really overwhelmed when the park ranger returned the bear and deer to the forest. When I asked him what he was feeling, tears flooded his eyes as he said he was sad because his mom left them. It caught me off gaurd because at 2 1/2 i didn't think he could absorb the concept of the bear being left behind by his "mother". So being caught off gaurd I just held him and said that they would be alright because she still loved him and he had his friend and they would make more friends.
After seeing that movie he did become clingy for a few weeks. When dad would leave for work he would hold on to his legs and say daddy, please don't leave me. So we then had to start taking/picking him up at work. When we would get home we would set an alarm that would go off 15min before we had to leave and periodically he would check the clock to make sure it was working. :) We still do this but only because he loves taking daddy to work.
Like those that have posted before me it could be many things. If possible try having mommy/daughter time and/or daddy/daughter time. That way she has some quality one-on-one time with both of you. If it is something that seems to be getting worse or more frequent you may need to talk to her dr. But if its something that your not overly concerned with, you may want to ask your dr about it whenever you take your son in for his next appt. Im sure your dr will take the time to talk with you. When we take our daughter in for her appointments, if we have any concerns with our son our dr adresses them also.
What ever you decide to do I wish you and your family well.:)

Your daughter sounds so much like mine! Between the ages of two and a half and three and a half was quite a trip at our house :-)

Really, my mom gave me the best tip. She raised four kids (three girls) and says that at that age, they are "trying on emotions"--just like you'd try on clothes. They're becoming aware of their feelings and what goes with them (sad faces, etc) and they have words for the feelings now.

So, whatever emotion she "tries on" that gets the most attention...she'll keep trying. And that's positive or negative attention! My daughter would just melt down and I finally realized she wasn't THAT upset, she just wanted my attention. So we made a deal that she would touch my arm and I would pay attention to her. The novelty wore off after a bit and she didn't do it much, but it gave her a "normal" way to definitely get my 100% focus. No more meltdowns.

My son's that age now (his issues are different), but I still try to remember it's the same goal--don't change them, just channel their behavior the way you want it to go. So, yes, if they're going to whine and cry they have to go to their rooms until they can be calm and polite. When my daughter got a little older, we talked about how to handle strong feelings. She likes to draw pictures, but we also talked about jumping up and down on the floor, saying "I need a hug" and some other stuff. They say kids should have one coping mechanism for every year old they are.

And I don't give anything in response to whining--they have to speak politely!

No one's always happy! Not even little kids and my daughter definitely has strong feelings. The first time we saw Charlotte's Web, I sat next to her toward the end. (She was five at the time.) She was intensely quiet and still, lost in the story. When it was over, we looked at each other and we both started crying and then we laughed. She loves the movie and asks for it all the time!

Things will even out :-)

sounds like she's a bit of a drama queen. often very smart, emotional, sensitive children are a little bit more dramatic. (or a lot - my son is one). i tell my son constantly he can feel how he feels, but i don't need to listen to the constant whining, fussing, complaining....when he gets in these "oh poor me" moods i send him to his room for some down time. not as punishment, just until he's done with his little "fit"....i tell him if he wants to whine and cry he needs to do it in his room, and when he's ready to be calm and talk about how he feels, like a big boy, he's welcome to come back. it works. most times his toes barely hit the carpet before he says, "i am calm mommy". worth a shot maybe...good luck!

Wow, I have baby sit since I was 12 years old. Kept all 16 of my neices and nephews a lot. Have two girls of my own and have never heard anything like this. Of course it is natural for a child to say they are sad from time to time but not like you describe. Are you giving her one on one time? I would put aside a half hour every day for reading time, Just Mommy and Me time. Even if that means your husband having to cook dinner or do dishes. Also there should be a Daddy and Me time with just the two of them. It is possible she is feeling left out. A baby always requires lots of time. Do you let her help with the baby and housework? I let my older daughter help do everything with the baby. They were not quite two years a part. I also purchased a childs broom, dust pan, mop, etc... to let her help me with my chores. My girls both loved dance time. We would put the music on and just dance and have fun. Do happy things with her. They also loved the sing a long video's..When she says she is sad and goes to her room don't run in there, leave her alone. It sounds to me like she may possibly be doing this for attention. Ignore her when she does this little routine and it may just stop. When she starts her crying start singing or draw her attention elsewhere. Good Luck!!