Preschooler Wont Stay in Bed or Crib.

I would definitely make sure that his room is safe if he gets up/ out. I think at 3 he is probably ready for a toddler bed/ twin bed with rails. You might have to spend the first few days outside his room, taking him back to his bed and putting him back in it- over and over. I would not trust him given his history, but being there and on top of it, and able to take him back to his bed should eventually help him get the picture. I would talk about how he's a big boy, and big boys stay in bed. Leave him with some books or cars in his bed to keep him occupied until he falls asleep. Also, if he is getting any kind of help for his autism, I would talk to your doctor/ OT/ PT and see what they suggest given where he is. Sounds like he is very smart, so you just need to be a bit smarter and stay one step ahead of him. ;)

Good luck,
T.

No offense, but who is in charge here? If he "destroys" his room, then there shouldn't be anything in it for him to destroy. A mattress on the floor, and that's it. Even three year olds can understand consequences for bad behavior. If he stays in bed each night, he gets one thing back. Get a door that locks, or a double gate. Make sure there is a baby monitor in his room, and you will know when he gets up. There are gates that he won't be able to get out of.

If his behavior problems are really that bad (and it sounds like they might be), then you need to be seeking much more advanced help. If you can't control him at 3, what are you going to do at 6 or 10? Don't be afraid to ask for help-- it sounds like you have a challenging situation, and there will be professionals who can get you all on the right track. I'd check with his pediatrician for a referral to a behavioral specialist.

When my son was that age we cut a door in half, right above the middle hinges and reversed the knob so that it would lock on the outside. He also had a bin system for toys that I had to move out into the hallway so that he wouldn't dump them all everynight. I also would unscrew his light bulb at bedtime so that even if he flipped the switch, no light would come on. Basically, I took away all options for him, so that all there was for him to do, was go to sleep. Sometimes he fell asleep on the floor at first, so I would leave an extra blanket and pillow in there for him. The gate in the door way didn't work for him because he could climb it. His bedroom is upstairs and I hated the thought of him wondering around at night, so for me, the locked half door worked great. After about 6 mo I put the toys back and by then he was going to sleep in his bed with no problems. I never had to do any of this with my daughter.

J.,
Do you have wrap-around services yet for your son? The therapist and behavioral specialist would have some good practical ideas on how to redirect your son. I'm wondering, for instance, if you could put other puzzles and things for him to dismantle in his room that you don't care about and wouldn't be dangerous, just to keep him occupied? I know from experience with my ASD son that it's very difficult to get them to understand consequences and comply at this age. I try to go with his interests/passions but tilt them so that they're not destructive and verge on being more generally acceptable to others. Best of luck!