Preschooler Woes

I am in the same situation with my little one. I teach and have an almost 4 year old. I can't wait to read what people suggest for you.

I think you are experiencing very normal, preschooler behavior. As a mother of two girls myself and a preschool teacher--that is typical behavior in my book. Our parents who are teachers and bring their kids in for a day during the week--the younger kids never want the mom to leave. I think they are out of their normal routine and now that you are around all day, they don't want you to leave. They are gaining back all that time they have missed with you. You might try having a play date during the week with another friend so she still gets some time with other kids but knowing you are still their too. Its funny how a mother's idea of how something is suppose to go one way but alot of times goes a different way. that is the joy and challenge of motherhood. Ain't it great!!:) Hope this helps.

Honestly, this is perfectly normal. But, you also need to nip it in the bud. 3.5 is PLENTY old enough to have firm rules and guidelines. I use a timeout with 1 minute per year of age. So, her timeout would be 3.5 minutes. Sometimes, my son would go into timeout 6 times a day. I did it until he modified his behavior. Trust me, it is a ton of work to correct them and enforce good behavior, but it is totally worth it. And, your next pre-school teacher will really appreciate it if you don't bring her a whiny child when school starts in the fall.

Also, in addition to just correction behavior, you try to start giving her responsibilities. When my son was around this age, I moved all of the juice boxes and snacks into a cabinet that he could reach. He still had to ask permission for a snack, but he had to get it himself. There is SO much that a 3.5 year old can do for themselves!

-L.

Also, it could be as simple as being bored! Im a teacher too and realize when Im home with my 2 year old, we get stuck in the same routine and he is always so much better when we are out of the house or doing something different, even if its as simple as visiting a pet shop or playing in the mall play area. Good luck dear! Im sure she will return to her sweet self soon!

When things change, mama pays for it! Make sure that she has plenty of interaction with other kids her age! I do in-home daycare and because she's used to kids here all day, at 4pm when they leave, she's nothing but a whine-bucket until bed! They really need that interaction at this age.
Take her to the museum, library, etc. Places where she can hang out with kids her age. Or, like the other poster said, totally make some play dates!

Maybe put her in day care a couple of days a week. She may feel out of sorts with this big change. she also needs to have interaction with other kids, this will help her to be more independent.

Good luck,
Rev. G. Hudson.

i have something to add about the whining. Dont' let her whine! if she asks something in a whiny voice either ignore her till she says it right or tell her she is whining and ask her to say it normal. never give her anything she is asking for if she is whining. i tell my two year old that and it amazes me how she turns off the whiny voice and immediatly says it in a normal voice! they know and understand what it means to whine. i know so many teenagers and they don't even know how to ask something without whining. they just been doing it their whole lives. drives me crazy.

Hi B.,
You took away her friends, her routine, and her constant care givers and you want your own space. I can see the whiny thing happenning.
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Try this to keep you both happy and on track. Sit and make a schedule for the day. Include times, snacks and lunch so all thought out. Plan your outings and what to do when you are in like crafts, sit with her time to play her games, quiet and rest time for you, and even Sesame street TV time. You'll both feel better when she feels secure in the new schedule.

Right now she's hanging out there feeling insecure and unsure of her new daily caregiver (that's you).

Be sure to get enough rest so you are in a good mood.

Also, the disrespect thing, kids will mimic. Be careful how you speak to her - always use please and thank you, I'm sorry, Are you okay? Yes ma'am, No ma'am. Limit the word no instead try to use distractions.

You'll do fine. Parenting is not a piece of cake; it takes a lot of work and sanity! :)

Don't forget the unlimited daily hugs!

PS: try this book too - 5 languages of love for children (something like that). You can find out what motivates her and makes her feel special and use that to your advantage too.

Hi B.!
I think this is totally normal, and not even a rebellion kind of thing. We've done the same thing with my son (11 months old and in daycare during the academic year), so I am home with him for the summer. He's an angel, but I feel that he has gotten a little more demanding in this time - that he doesn't want to be put down or left alone at all. But I do need to get things done - even if it's just preparing his meals, and so if I hear him simply throwing a tantrum, I let him work it out (I do not want him to get into the habit of "getting his way" by throwing tantrums, so I've never run to him when he tries out what screaming at me or whining will do). It usually stops very fast and he finds a toy to entertain himself. If he is really in need of something or hurt, his complaints are different - they sound different. I think it's really just an adjustment from being around other kids and people constantly to just being with me most of the time. In your case, your daughter can communicate with you and you can reason with her a little more, so stick to your guns. You know how it sounds if she is really in need, so during the other times, let her figure it out and encourage her to be a little more independent and self-sufficient again. And before we know it, the summer will be up, and the kids back in school, and we will miss them terribly!
Good luck! :)
-Christina