My 4 year old son wants to pick a flower from our yard and give it to his "girlfriend" at preschool. They are always coloring pictures for one another, we are friendly with her family outside of school, and I'm inclined to let him. But I wanted to get some other opinions. I see it as harmless but does it have an ick factor to it?
I let him pick her a tulip for her this morning. It was cute and he told her she was his best friend. They are like two old souls. I appreciate the feedback, I was definitely overthinking. The other five children in their class didn't even notice. I did not take one for each child. To each their own, but I definitely didn't feel that was necessary.
Harmless and sweet.
Oh, and like Marda said, at this age she is a "girl friend" (not a "girlfriend"). Just a friend, who happens to be a girl. And girls tend to like flowers. He's just being nice to his friend. Nothing more, most likely.
And even if it is more (he wants to marry her!) then it will pass. Really.
I think that it is very sweet and innocent. My daughter gives and receives "gifts" from both the boys and the girls in her preschool classroom. I think that they are learning about forging friendships. I view it as a positive.
Why does every little thing have to have a question mark and a possible "taboo" behind it? I think it's so sweet and very gentlemanly of your little guy to want to give this little girl a flower - obviously you're raising him right! I don't think this has to be an overly thought out situation...just let him give the girl a flower...what a sweet memory!
Don't over analyze this harmless act of kindness.
It's sweet and innocent.
No ick factor - very sweet!
Completely harmless. It's sweet. :)
Before too long, girls will have cooties... ;)
I would not have any issues with that. He could easily pick a dandelion off the playground and give it to her. I imagine yours are much prettier....lol.
I not only see this as harmless but also as a good thing. He's learning how to be a good friend. Because she's a girl she's a girl friend. It's the adult world that's relating the term to sex. At his age the term has nothing to do with romantic love.
Let him!.
This is his idea let him roll with it. Nothing wrong.
It's fine.
My daughter had a boyfriend in preschool. She came home one day and the following conversation happened.
"I'm going to marry Bo."
"Who is Bo?"
"A boy in my class."
"Does Bo know about this?"
"Not yet."
Two weeks later, Bo was no longer her intended. Preschoolers are fickle that way.
It's just cute! Let him! Like Gamma G. said, he could just give her a dandelion... Don't read too much into little kids' ideas
I don't think it's a problem at all. My dd likes to bring flowers for both girl & boy friends in her class (depending on who is her "best" friend that week). The only times I've been bothered is when I overheard another parent teasing their son & my dd, saying that their son is my daughter's "hubba-hubba" (as they sat, arm-in-arm in the corner, reading a book together). And, now, in the pre-K class, the kids are going the rounds of who is going to marry whom (it changes from day-to-day, and sometimes includes a discussion of whether or not a girl can marry a girl, or a girl can marry 2 boys). I have very open and honest conversations with my dd, but also tell her that she is too young to be worrying about these things!
If the term "girlfriend" bothers you, just remind your son that "friends" are friends, and they can be girls or boys.
This is very sweet. In not very many years your son will most likely face peer pressure against this sort of thing. I encourage you to enjoy this innocent stage when your son doesn't feel inhibited about expressing his feelings.
Yes he can give her a flower. But it's just a gift, not a symbol of anything. Please encourage him to call her his "friend" and not his girlfriend, and don't let family members tease him or even compliment him because he has a girlfriend. No jokes about engagement or marriage or exclusivity. He's just giving a friend a flower.
awwwwww, i'm so sad that anyone, anywhere, might see ick in a tiny fellow doing something sweet for a little friend.
ETA i utterly disagree that friends doing nice things for each other is 'selective' and should be discouraged unless every single child in the class is included. there's not one thing wrong with little friends doing sweet things for each other.
:( khairete
S.
Seriously sweet and adorable. There's no harm in this, nor is there harm in encouraging gentlemanly behaviors such as opening the door for her or letting her go in front of him in line.
Awwww. He's so cool. He's going to make an awesome boyfriend some day.
Do four-year-old boys know the commonly-held difference between girls they likes who are friends and "girlfriends"? I don't know. He may use the word "girlfriend" (or "girl friend") in a very innocent way.
You might ask him why he wants to give the girl a flower. If it's because he likes to play with her or because she has a nice smile, there's no "ick" factor to that.
Yes to the yard flower. No to a mom buying a flower for a young boy to give.
Hi, J.:
If he wants to give his friend a flower, he needs to do it in the company of both families present not at school. Giving one child a flower in front of the other children is really unkind. This kind of selectivity needs to be discouraged at school. If he wants to pick flowers for all the children that would be nice by presenting them to the teacher for the whole class.
Good luck.
D.
I'd ask the parents of the little girl maybe, but it's cute. Let him do it and get your camera ready!!
