Preschool Issue-what Would You Do?

I am surprised that the teacher allowed your daughter to do this in the first place, it was not a good idea even though you had her ok. How do you think the other kids felt that did not get a purse from your daughter? I teach preschool and it is better if kids do this at their homes, not at school. The aide was right in taking the purses away since she was not told by the teacher that she had approved the gift giving. The teacher was really the one in my opinion who was in error in this case, She did not informing her aide that it was ok'd. In the future Mom it is not a great idea to bring things for others from home when not all the children will get something it causes lots of hurt feelings. For this reason our preschool does not allow it nor will they distrbiute party invitations unless all children are invited. Young childen are quite sensitive to this Mom. Hope this helps

OK, I mean this nicely, but what about the other little girls in the class that didn't get purses, or the boys who maybe wanted a little something and didn't get it. So first i guess, i think you were wrong in thinking this was ok to do on school time, I have NO idea why one teacher would have said it was ok. But she did.
the second teacher (the old lady), I'm assuminghere, she probably thought the friend had taken it from your child or even if your child had given it, she had no idea that YOU were ok with it. Parents get upset about things like that IF your daughter had brought that to school and given it away and then wanted it back or you went to look for it and it was gone etc etc.

So it sounds like the two teachers need to get on board with what it ok. Personally, i like the rule of no toys from home, just so stuff like this doesn't happen. Since it did, i would speak to the teacher and to --the old lady-- it is your right to know all the names of the adults working with your daughter and to know their roles. I would talk to both of them, and explain that your daughter was upset because one teacher said it was ok and one did not. BUt i also wouldn't try to do something like that with purses again.

If the school has a policy against gifting that is fine and dandy but then the first teacher should not have said it was ok. The lady's reaction wasn't appropriate even if gifting is against the school's policy. I would have said something then. It is a little late now so I would just ask the teacher so you are clear on the policy. As for what else your daughter said about the "mean old lady" since you didn't specify what that was I don't know if I would talk to her or not...you'll have to decide.

As for the gifts, maybe hang around one morning or afternoon and catch the kids coming out w/ their parents and left your daughter give them the gift then (or schedule a play date and share then).

Talk to the one who did the "snatching" of the purse. She may have not known you and the other teacher said it was OK.
When I was a teacher and as a mother, I never allow or allowed children to "gift" things. If your daughter wants to go play with the other little girls at your house and you are fine with her giving away things and the other mother is OK with it then go ahead, but not in school.
Incidently I also do not allow my children to bring things home from others' houses.

I would go to the one who was involved and explain that it was what your daughter wanted to do. The teacher thought she was following rules, or that the girl snatched it from your daughter. I'm sure she would've been mortified and apologic to both girls if YOU had stepped in. I know sometimes we see things and don't know how to respond, so we don't do anything. Three little girls went home sad and have bad feelings for a teacher who doesn't even know she did anything wrong. I'm sure after you've seen your daughter's face after school and had a chance to think, you'll be right there the next time someone wrongs your daughter. You're her hero, Mom.

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Well......playing devil's advocate....sometimes school just plain do not allow "trading" of stuff because it gets out of hand...like with squishees, silly bandz, etc....so maybe she was not aware that you had pre-OK'd it.
If I were you I would have your daughter give them to the other girls after pickup--like in the parking lot, etc. HOWEVER--keep in mind that if other little girls see this it could cause hurt feelings....I know her heart is in the right place though......

It sounds like a misunderstanding. I would talk to the teacher that snatched the purse about your daughter's intentions, and your conversation with the other teacher who said it was OK. But like some others have said, it really wasn't a good idea to allow your child to bring something special to school for just 2 friends, I think that should have been done outside of school. Tell her you are sorry you made the mistake of allowing your daughter to bring the purses to school, and tell her the whole incident of having them taken away was upsetting to her. Perhaps she could talk with your daughter in a gentle way about what a kind and thoughtful friend she is to give some extra purses to her friends, but school is not the right place for this, since she doesn't have a special purse to give to everyone, the other children's feelings would be hurt, so that is why the purses had to be taken away at school.

I read the other responses, and I would suggest speaking with the teacher of the class first. As others wrote, perhaps the school has a policy against gift giving. After you know what the policy is, then you can speak with the "old lady" and explain that you understand the policy now, and ask her about her actions toward your daughter. She needs to respond appropriately. After speaking directly with the people involved, then proceed up the chain of command, so that the administrator of the school knows what happened from you point of view. Then, I'd let it all go.

On a more personal note, I believe that the generosity your daughter showed was genuine and sweet. I think it is too bad that so many parents spend time trying to make everything in children's lives "FAIR". Life, after all, is not fair. Parents need to start explaining this to children right away. For example, at my son's birthday parties (he's only 3) I have not given "goody bags" to the children. When my son goes to a party, he does not expect to go home with a goody bag from the host. He understands that it is the other child's special day. Perhaps I'm too old school for some, but I really think that we need to teach our children behaviors and manners that are not so self-serving. If other little ones in your daughter's class MIGHT have ended up with hurt feelings, then their parents need to explain that to them.
I'd be interested to know how things go.