Preschool Activities/learning Delays?

my son has a strong personality, and although he is smart if he is not interested in learning something he WILL NOT get it-- deliberately. We just let him follow his interests, and he did get interested in reading and writing lately and it was an instant thing-- i've been shocked at how much he knows!!! but i'm glad i didn't fight with him over it because it would've just made us all frustrated.

one thing he totally loved was a lightning mcqueen math book... it was so "cool" because it was all about cars... and before that book he had no interest in workbooks.

don't stress, he'll get it when he gets it. be ok with learning being a gradual process!!

candyland and duck duck goose and preschool worksheets are all things that my almost 4 year old kind of gets but not quite-- i would say that those are more for 5 year olds as far as development and interest. so don't worry, it's ok if he doesn't quite get it.

i would say let him be physical and just wait till he wants to learn the school skills. present these things as fun options but don't force it-- that will make him not want to learn even more! he still has plenty of time and sounds a lot like my son who is now thriving in kindergarten...

enjoy your time at home with your kids! remember that a loving relationship with mom is MUCH more important than holding a pencil or circling the 4s. laugh and play together, read books, enjoy each other!

I think he's fine - you said he's not even 4 yet!! My daughter has been in preschool since she was 2. This year she'll be in the pre-k class. She just turned 4 in July. This year is when they start teaching them how to correctly hold a pencil, write their name, learn/write numbers and learn how to write all the letters. (my son went through the same preschool and was mroe than ready for kindergarten... he's in 2nd grade this year). Most kids do not hold a pencil correctly until age 4 or 5. Most kids do not 'get' games like duck duck goose or candyland until age 4 or 5 (if they do play, most need constant reminders about the rules). There are exceptions of course, but everything you describe is well within the normal range... heck, most 3 year olds can't even recognize all the numbers yet!

I'm with 3-5 year olds all the time (2 part-time teaching jobs) so I see a wide range. As for the example of holding a spoon - many kids are like that in many areas. If you want him to hold a pencil correctly, break it in half so it fits in the palm of his hand... so when he holds it his hand is over the end. It forces the fingers into almost the correct position.

The best way to teach him to hold a pencil is to work on his fine motor skills and hand/finger strength first. Play-doh is one of the best ways to do that -- why do you think every preschool classroom has a playdoh out almost everyday? Sure it's fun, but it's a necessary pre-writing activity. As for numbers, the best pre-math activity is recognizing patterns. That is why most preschool classrooms for 2 & 3 year olds stress pattern recognition. It's also necessary for pre-reading skills. If you jump right to the numbers and letters without the backbone basics, he will miss out on important concepts (that may not be realized until later on when harder concepts are introduced). There's a difference between memorization and learning... you want to teach him how to learn (problem-solving, connections, etc) instead of just rote memorization.

Anyways... he sounds normal. Put him in a preschool classroom and I think you'll find he fits right in.

Don't get discouraged. It will take him some time to get used to you being home. I suggest having him evaluated by a professional. When my girls were little, I took them to a playgroup. It was for children newborn up to kindergarten age. They did crafts, games and sang songs. It was great! It prepared them for preschool. Once a month, the teacher would come to my house and spend an hour with my child. She would read to her, do crafts, and also evaluate her on different things she should be doing at a particular age. At the end of the hour she would give ideas of things to do to help with development. Anyone could go and it was free!!! You might want to check to see if there is anything like this available to you in your area. I'm sorry, but I cannot remember the official name of the group. I just got so used to calling it "Playgroup". Good Luck, T.

My son is 3 and I feel I am in the same boat with you. My son is very much the kid that one day he has no clue what he is doing and the next day it is like he has done it for years, haha. I struggle with his attention b/c he is always eager to get to the next thing. I just recently enrolled him into a 40 min gymnastics class with only 6 kids in the group to see if it will help him slow down listen to instructions and follow through on instructions. They say it will take about 4 to 5 weeks for the kids to actually start doing all that. We are going into week 3 and he is as excited as could be to go to his classes. Ha Ha. Anyways, my suggestion was to see about enrolling him into a similar activity once a week and see if that might help. So far at home with us we remind him "remember in gym class" and it seems to help. Anyways... good luck with everything and enjoy your time with him!!

Here's an idea for working on the pencil grasp-break up a crayon into very small pieces or use a very short pencil (golf pencil sharpened down) and he won't have room on the utensil to use a fisted grasp! As far as the listening goes, I think you're probably right about him adjusting to you and your expectations at home (vs. the nanny). I've heard the book "Parenting with Love and Logic Age 2-4" is great, and I loved the original "Parenting with Love and Logic" book-may give you some ideas. It's about giving kids choices and it makes a lot of sense. Hope things go well-happy SAHM time!

Hi K.,

Welcome to life as a SAHM! I was one for quite awhile and have taught music in Catholic elementary schools. I am now a substitute teacher (all ages). Believe me, there are kindergarteners who don't draw circles very well, and who need to be reminded of the rules for Duck Duck Goose. And your guy is not even 4, and was a preemie--I wouldn't stress too much about that. As one Mom said, let him work with lots of writing utensils and let him scribble to his heart's content. Follow his lead on how he wants to use the writing utensils (within reason, of course--not up his nose!).

If he can count and recognize all the numbers, that is good. I think that many kids don't recognize the numbers in print at this age.

I think it is also true that with boys, the gross motor skills are way ahead of the fine motor skills. That was certainly true with my 2.

If you are concerned it is probably wise to have him evaluated (trust your instincts). Meanwhile, just enrich his life with trips to library, grocery, park, beach/pool, friends' houses; making cookies, gardening, picking apples, reading books, chalk drawing on sidewalk, watching trains and construction sites, trike riding, sledding, walks, etc. etc.

The Mom's Day Out groups might be another good idea--we liked those. And it's not quite as structured as a pre-school.

Keep working with him on picking up toys (it was a never-ending struggle at our house, so it may not be just him--lol!). How does he do on directions that are not paper-&-Pencil related? if he does well with those, I 'd hold off trying to force him into Paper-&-pencil stuff for awhile.

good luck and enjoy him! Please let us know what happens

K. Z.

hi K....i am a SAHM with 3 boys (18, 15, and 5). so i know alil bout the age gap thing also. from wut i read yer lil boy seems fine, alot like mine in some ways. i understand the not wanting to put him in preschool becuz of all the changes, but i would maybe check around and see if there is any learning/activitiy areas around you where maybe you could both go together, like the library. they have story hour and stuff like that, get him around other children, and they do crafts too. So he would be in a lil structured area, would help learn to hold pencil/crayons, scissors, etc. And it might then be fun and not learning. if ya get wut i mean :) but my lil boy also knew his numbers/letters etc when he was 4, but had no interest in actually writing them, and did not learn to hold a pencil good until kindergarten. also maybe try, set up play school at home, 10 mins in afternoon, and maybe 10 min in evening. simple stuff, don't worry how he holds pencil, if he can still write, have alil bowl of choc chips, each time he does it right, he gets a chip. its fun, he gets a treat, and it's not so long that anyone gets frustrated. adjust the time as you think he can do. Well i know that was lomg winded, i hope it helps. :) GL and god bless. and i commend you for being a SAHM :)

Talk to your pediatrician. Many states have programs that can evaluate him and he could be placed in a sort of occupational therapy privately or in a school setting if needed.
I'd get him in preschool ASAP. He sounds like he has little socialization and prolonging it will just make it worse.

Hi K.,

I can relate to you as well...I have a three year old son that I'm wondering about his speech and some of his fine motor skills as well. I agree with one of the posts - if you have a concern, call your pediatrician and go from there. I'm checking into getting my son evaluated for speech therapy. It's better to find out now and try to make any corrections than later. Your son does sound fine to me too as he fits a lot of little boy descriptions, but better to have it checked out now.

As far as staying at home and being with your son - kudos to you! I love staying at home. I don' t know if you have checked into any mom's clubs, but they are great for you and your son. I belong to a chapter of MOMS Club International. You can google it and see if there is a chapter in your areas. There is also MOPS - Mother's of preschoolers - you can do the same. This way it will keep your son interactive with other children making the transition to school a little easier. I love our MOMS Club - it's been a huge thing in our lives since my kids were infants. It helps me too!

Good luck - listen to your heart and your mother's instincts!
T.

Part of it could be a combination of both. Perhaps his nanny didn't do any activities like that with him and so he doesn't know what to do or maybe what is expected of him. Some of what you are talking about, kids have been able to pick up when they are around other kids, they learn from each other and watch each other.

I can understand wanting to transition him from one to the other. But what if you just put him into a day care/preschool for half a day so he can start meeting other kids. Maybe have the nanny drop him off in the morning. Stay with him until he finds something that grabs his attention and then in the afternoon or a few hours later you are there to pick him up. Instead of transition from the nanny to you and then you to the preschool.

I worked in childcare for several years and with kids that age sometimes it is a hit and miss trying to get them to clean up. But create a game out of it. Like I remember giving the kids "high fives" for every toy they put away. And they loved that. Or when they were done we played with bubbles. Something like that. Is it that easy? No, but small steps.

I'm reading your post as I respond. He was a 8 week premie? Part of what you are seeing could be because of that. He'll catch up but it might take a little longer than you'd like.

Have you thought about taking him to a Head Start program? Or something similiar? They could help him to reach where he should be and all of that.

It's something to look into.

K.,
I work with young children every day as an early childhood educator. He sounds perfectly fine to me! Definitely within the norms. Children learn best through play. My advice is to not worry about the letters and numbers and just play, play, play! Serously, I could go on for paragraphs about how important play is and how important it is to NOT push our children academically.

Oh, and as far as Duck, Duck, Goose goes, I have learned NEVER to play it with my preschool classes. They never get it and it ends up the same as it does for you! Wait til he's five or six to expect that to get better.

You're in Newport, I see. I would highly recommend you buy a family pass to the Cinti Museum Center (if you don't already have one) and take him to the Children's Museum once a week. He will learn plenty of things by playing there, and you will have fun, too! It's awesome!

Blessings, J.

I understand your need to transition your son, but preschool doesn't mean he has to be away from you all day, every day. And just because he hasn't learned the things you think he should know means he has a learning delay! In my experience, I started my daughter in daycare when I returned to work (she was an infant then), but just seeing how the classroom runs and patterning after the older children has taught her so much that I had not been able to at home. There is a lot of good value in "peer pressure". Now that I'm home full-time and she's 2 1/2 I still send her 2 days to a mom's day out program and preschool so she can get exposed to the stuff I don't even think about teaching her at home--art, counting, letters (I'll be honest, I didn't know she was capable of counting past 3, haha). For what it's worth, you might check out some preschools or church programs in your area to get him in and see how he does just being around the other kids on a regular basis! If you're still concerned, definitely talk to your dr. to see if he needs to be further evaluated.

All children go through stages of learning to use writing materials. The best way, in my opinion, is to give the child a wealth of experiences with writing utencils. It has little to do with intelegence and much more to do with experiences. If your child is scribbling he simply needs to use the materials more. Drawing and making marks comes before making circles and using "workbooks". I am sure that he ccan count the number of cars on his trains and count his jumps etc. I suggest that you incorporate his learning into his play and wait a little longer to do the paper and pencil activities.Give him opportunities to use writing materials like crayons, markers, pencils and accept his "work" as he completes it. Scribbling is the first stage of writing and I would be willing to bet that all of us scribbled in our early years. Relax and enjoy your child. He sounds like so much fun.

Hi K.!

I know how frustrating that must be!!! My daughter was born very premature and is delayed in many areas...fine motor being one of them. She also has motor planning problems. It is very hard for her to get her hands to do what her brain wants her to do...we have had a lot of those very same issues. I would call your local school district and tell them you have some concerns with your child's fine motor abilities and would like him tested for Occupational Therapy. I am an Occupational Therapy Assistant and there is a lot that can be done for him, and very simple things you can do with him. For example make it fun...use shaving cream and "play" in it while making circles, stick people, letters. Play- "do you know what letter I am making?" and see if he can figure it out before you finish the letter and then let him try. Make it a game and he will learn and it won't be so frustrating for him.

The other thing we did for our daughter is support her nutritionally with supplements to feed her brain and it has made a HUGE difference. Once you feed the brain what it is lacking good results follow!!! Our story is on my website- check it out www.shaklee.net/amy_healthyconcepts
That is our old testimony she has changed a lot since I lst updated our page, I am hoping to get it updated here in the next couple of days. Please feel free to contact me with any questions, I would be happy to help you out in any way or give you any other reccommendations on supplemental or therapy ideas. Good Luck!
A.
____@____.com

You have not said whether you have talked with any doctors. My son was like that and I had him tested with a school psychologist at the school district we live in. That enabled him to enroll in a preschool where they had the resources to help him. We also met with a ped neurologist to make sure we were doing what we needed to. We worked with speech pathologists and some behavioral psychologists. We had him evaluated again when he was older with an independent behavioral psychologist to make sure the school was not overlooking anything and they were. So at age 10 he was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. From age 3 and a half to now I have documented everything we did for him. If you need any suggestions or help please do not to hesitate to ask. But start with getting him evaluated.