I have never been away from my daughter (currently 18 months) overnight. I'm a bit worried about how she will react when I stay overnight at the hospital for 2 nights (if all goes well) when I deliver my 2nd this June. Should I do a trial run for her first - like have her stay overnight at grandma's house without me and my husband before the 2nd baby is born?
She'll be fine. I had never been away from my son when his little sis was born. He was 24mo old. Whoever watches her, have them stay at your house. Have them bring her up to the hospital to see you and make sure to show her ALL the attention and have someone else take care of baby while she is there.
I'm sure she will be just fine. Our situation was very similar. Our daughter was 2 1/2 when our son was born. We opted to have grandma come to our house and stay with our daughter. That way, she was in her house with all her toys and got to sleep in her room. My son was also born in June, so the weather was gorgeous and she had a fantastic time being spoiled by her grandma while mommy and daddy were at the hospital having the baby. I also asked that she not come to the hospital. I know that most will find that very very odd, but for us....it was best. I had a friend who had just had her second baby right before me. Her firstborn was brought to the hospital by the grandparents and absolutely flipped the heck out when it was time for her to go back home with the grandparents. Didn't understand why mommy & daddy & the baby got to stay at the hospital and she couldn't. I think her situation kinda traumatized me. LOL That's why we opted to bring her baby brother to her at her house. I didn' t want the first time she met her brother to immediately result in jealousy and sadness b/c the baby got to stay with mommy and she had to leave. So, the next day, the other granparents came to our house and spent a day with her also. When we got home after the delivery with our son....it was precious. She made him some crafts and he of course brought his big sister a present. =0) She took him on the tour of the house and showed him his bedroom and it was just really nice for her. We were all together for the first time and she didn't have to leave us because of any hospital rules. =0)
When you are in the hospital giving birth... your Husband should be the primary one to take care of her, AT HOME, when you are away.
Make sure he knows her routines... and KEEP her routines as normal.
I, wrote down for my Husband, everything about my daughter's routines prior when I was in the hospital for my son's birth. I was int the hospital for 3 days. I had had a c-section.
My daughter, was fine. My Husband did fine.
They called me on the phone to say good night, they visited me in the hospital as soon as it was allowed after I recovered, we bought my daughter some gifts for herself as a "big sister" and for her to bring for her new baby brother etc. I made sure to praise her... and she slept with my t-shirt etc.
I had never been away from my daughter either prior to my 2nd child's birth... but my daughter did real well.
Sure, Hubby will be with you at the birth. Mine was too. In that time, Grandma took care of her at home... and as soon as it was fine... after the birth, they came to visit me. But, after that... I would, have Hubby take care of your girl... at home, and spend a special time together.
I did not expect my Hubby to be at the hospital all the time nor all day... because I'd rather have him with my daughter, helping her... and being with her. They actually had fun together... and it was a nice bonding thing for them.
If your daughter is made to stay at Grandmas' for that whole time... she may feel left out, ignored, pushed to the side etc. I would think, staying home with Daddy, would be better. That way, she is a PART of you/Daddy/her new baby sibling... not out of the way at Grandma's.
All the best,
Susan
Where is she staying when you deliver? My mom is going to come up to stay with my son while I am in the hospital, and my husband and she will either swap between me and him, or just leave me for a couple hours to make sure he gets to bed okay, and then my husband can come back. In the meantime, can you try having just dad there, and maybe spend the night at a friend's house? I travel for work, so my son is fine if it is just dad putting him down. I just don't know how he will do if it is just grandma, and I want him to be okay with everything.
I think you have a good idea by prepping her over the next few weeks.
Our kids are 21 months apart, and we'd been away from our son a few times on business trips, but without grandparents nearby, his entire life has been with us primarily.
We had my mom come visit to take care of him while we were in the hospital with our daughter. This was 2 years ago, before H1N1, so he was allowed to visit. He did great with Grandma. It was a good bonding experience for them and for us with our new daughter.
Best wishes. It's a challenge to have 2 kids so dependent on you at once, but mine are best friends, and I wouldn't trade that for the world.
When I had my second daughter my first one was 22 months too. The first night she actually slept in the hospital (which I guess was a no no) but I delivered at 1:00 in the morning so that's just how it happened. The second night she stayed with daddy at home. She had never been away from me either and she was fine.
