Preparing to Miscarry

So sorry you are going through this. When I miscarried the baby died at 5 weeks I should have been ten weeks when it came out. I will suggest that when that happens to have the D & C then. I did not and had some of the placenta left behind and all kinds of problems after that.

I too am sorry love,
I miscarried at 11 weeks but I did the d&c. I was sad and disappointed and I didn't want to go through all of that. I was sedated and did not feel a thing and was back to "normal" within 2 days. I have birth 9 months and a week to my now 6 yr old after my miscarriage. Don't lose hope!

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I'm truly sorry for your loss. I'm surprised the doctor didn't offer a D&C. It helps to ensure all tissue is taken care of and no infections.

All three of my miscarriages were followed by D&Cs, so I really can't offer any advice on how long it would take.

I am sorry.

I am sorry to read this. I know how difficult this experience was for me.

We found out at 13 weeks, that our baby died around 10 weeks along. I went in because of light bleeding. For me, the actual miscarriage happened three days after we found out. The waiting game was absolutely miserable.

I too chose to pass the baby naturally. In all honesty, I wish I did a D&C. I don't want to be too graphic. Basically, I expected a heavy period. What I went through was much harder physically. Please be prepared for that. I adore my doctor, but I wish he had been more blatant with me regarding what may happen.

The day after, I was back in my Dr's office. I was having issues from blood loss. Fortunately, my problems could be handled outpatient with rest and medication. I saw the Dr. that Friday and had a follow up appointment that Monday. Then another several weeks later and one more after that. I can't remember when they did sonograms, but I know they did more than one to make sure I had passed all the tissue.

Feel free to pm me if I can help in any way.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope that you are able to find some peace in the chaos. I also wish you a speedy recovery. Best wishes.

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you ((hugs)))

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you. I lost 4 precious babies and chose the natural method each time. Each one took a differant time frame. The longest was in fact 4 weeks as your OB told you, it took about 10 days to start bleeding and went on for about 21/2 weeks. Bleeding, heavy cramping at times, of course large amounts of tissue. After that amount of time I learned your body begins to break down and absorb tissue so it may never pass the baby in a large amount of tissue. I would share with you that one of my miscarriages did in fact pass in 3 days after my US showed fetal demise in a complete sack which was really rough. Both to see the baby that way and the 2-3 hours of labor cramping to pass the baby. I needed the time to process and grieve and be in my own environment but everyone is so different. I hope you can find comfort in whatever faith you practice. It is a horrible time and I feel for you. I took Motrin for the pain during the heavy cramping and bleeding and drank tons of rasberry leaf tea. Please call your OB if the bleeding gets really heavy or bright red. It should be dark red. I did have acupuncture to help the process along and I believe it helps a great deal. If you proceed naturally you will need a follow up US to check for retained tissue after you stop bleeding. When your OB stated 4 weeks that is an average dating from when they date the baby died by checking growth. I think it is usually an average of 7-10 days after your US but I did bleed once starting the day after my US and lost the baby within 5 days. I'm sending you prayers of healing and loving thoughts. I am so very sorry. Please pm me if you need support.

I don't have any information, but I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. :(

I had a D&C after my miscarriage and it went fine. Recovered quickly. I went on to have two kids. Best wishes with whatever you decide. Sending comforting hugs.

First, I am so very sorry for your loss.

I've had three miscarriages; the last was around what would have been week 9; the baby only developed until around the seventh week. I knew something was up due to spotting and then a confirmation ultrasound.

What helped me was to organize myself the best I could. My husband was out of town visiting family and was going to fly home as soon as he could. I did some light shopping (get lots of pads, more than you think you will need), made sure I had enough painkillers (do ask for something stronger than tylenol-- they prescribed vicodin for me at that time-- and get foods that will help you tolerate the meds) and called a couple of friends to let them know what was going on, in case I needed help. And then I waited.

In your situation, you may want to organize friend/family to take your kids if possible when things start to progress. I know that our children can give us comfort, and it's also important that when we are experiencing a lot of pain, they not be present if possible.

My miscarriage came on its own and started that evening and I was able to manage solo. I don't recommend this for most people. I almost passed out a couple of times. Very heavy cramping for about 4-5 days...it's sort of a blur. It took me about a week before my body felt 'normal' again. My heart, though, that took a long while. No one tells you that it feels like you are in an alternate universe for a while... there was a lot of grieving going on. Your gyn may be able to refer you to a grief counselor who has experience dealing with miscarriage if you feel this would be helpful for you.

No one ever told me, either, that my husband and I would both process this differently. I will say this: communication about your needs is very important at this time because despite their composure, guys are usually trying to just hold things together too. They aren't dealing with the physical part of the loss, they may try to comfort and console in the worst ways, or try to 'just get on with life'... know that he is hurting too.

As for 'what to expect'... I cannot tell you that. I have a sister who opted to let things pass naturally and then finally went in for a D&C. She has done this twice and had good experiences (as much as possible) both times. Everyone has to do what is right for them.

My heart goes out to you. Please take good care of yourself.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I too had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I went the natural route and honestly under my circumstances I can't imagine doing it any other way.

Compared to giving birth it was not painful. Just cramping and lots of heavy bleeding and clotting, it took about 10 days. I think you'll know if you need any other medical intervention. Be sure to take it easy and give yourself time to heal both physically and emotionally.

I found the loss of our expectations and having to tell friends and family was hardest. I know what I miscarried was not a baby...yet. It had the potentional to be a person but really it was just a lot of blood and clots.My husband was so sweet and supportive. Going through it all reminded me more of what I have then what I lost. Without that sad event I would not have my beautiful second born girl, something I can't imagine.

Hang in there, you're in for some tears I'm sure. Just take the love people offer and remember you can't know abundance if you don't know loss. Sending positive thoughts your way.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I'm so sorry you are at this place right now.

The last one I went through happened near 16 weeks my baby died at around 8-10 weeks. I passed naturally. It took a very long time, about a month for everything finally be done and over with. I had very light spotting at first and it didn't progress quickly. However, I'm happy with that decision as hard and trying as it was because it enabled me to do what was in my heart.

I was never offered any other option but I wouldn't have taken it either. I wish you the best in this situation.

So sorry for your loss.
I was only 8 weeks along when I lost a pregnancy. I hadn't even gone to the midwife yet. I don't know when the pregnancy ended vs when it was passed or anything.
For me I had 2 days of uncomfortable cramps, passing clots etc, and then bled more like a period for about a week.
My SIL has had numerous miscarriages and those that she's let pass naturally have all been very different so there is no real way to tell exactly when it's going to happen.

I am sorry for your loss. I miscarried twice at around 11-12 weeks. Both times it was like an extra heavy period that lasted about 10-14 days. I did not need a d&c.

Sorry you are going through this. I also miscarried at 11 weeks with baby measuring 7.5-8 weeks. I have also miscarried at 8 weeks with no fetus (its called a missed abortion, there is a sac but no baby), and my first miscarriage at 4 weeks. I have never done the D&C. If you have started bleeding the process won't take too long until you pass the yolk sac (a few days or a week). However what can take long is when the baby had died, but you are not yet bleeding naturally. Thats what can take 4 weeks. If you have any natural bleeding it won't be long. I passed mine before my scheduled D&C. More on that later.

My most recent miscarriage we detected at 7.5 weeks but I went to 9 insisting on one more ultrasound to find the fetus. When it was not there and i was not bleeding naturally, my dr. gave me pills that I inserted vaginally to start the process. The bleeding started a few hours later but I had to take the dose 3 times over a course of 6 days before the yolk sac passed. I felt no more pain than a regular period, but because my previous miscarriage was a bit of a production, I had to have my SIL and MIL over to care for my children because I just didn't know. I had heard you can be sick in bed with the meds, but that just wasn't the case for me. I did light housework the whole time.

I can see where D & C's are preferred for working mothers. Natural miscarriages are unpredictable , you have to stay home, and it can go on a good week of active bleeding and passing large clots and tissue.

That said, I'm very glad to have passed mine naturally. I notice a lot of women struggling to move on from the loss of miscarriage and it seems to me the ones who struggle the most are the ones who had the D&C. I think the D&C does not lend itself well to the grieving process. More on that latter.

My first miscarriage at 11 weeks was painful. I don't want to lie. I cramped up pretty good, and for about 10 minutes I would say I went through a micro mini child birth to pass the sac. I found out later that I had passed a sac in tact (which is very rare), this made me need to dilate more , which is why it was painful. At the time it was freighting and I'm so thankful my MIL had come out that day, I would not have wanted to be alone in the house. Looking back I know for me the natural miscarriage was cathartic and helpful to my grief. The physical pain mirrored my emotional pain. Going through the pain released my feelings. I suspect that women who have the D&C don't experience this release. After the sac passed there was bleeding for a week or two after, but nothing painful. Somehow my grief followed my blood flow. That may sound strange, but when the bleeding stopped, I stopped grieving so badly. It was like a cue.

This is going to be TMI for some so don't read if you are squeamish. I'm also thankful I got to go through the products of conception. I cut open the sac and looked inside. The baby was no longer in there. I also believe I saw the baby, though it was not much to look at. They will not show you any baby or products of conception with a D&C. I can't explain it, but I just needed to see. It was confirmation that the pregnancy was real, that my pain and loss were real.

If you are not bleeding yet, ask your dr. about medications that can start the process. If you have family support and a grandma who can come watch your kids, I recommend natural miscarriage.

I'm so sorry, mom.

I haven't experienced this, so I can't answer your question, but I just want to say to call back and get clarification. It's important that you understand this so that you can change your mind if this goes on too long. And it's okay to change your mind. It's good that you have options.

Again, so very sorry.

Hi...I'm very sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage not too long ago. The doctors knew right away that I was having a miscarriage. With it, I bled for almost 3 weeks. It wasn't very painful, but came with a lot of cramping.

On the positive side, my husband and I tried again shortly after the miscarriage and I'm going through another pregnancy that is thriving. So, don't give up hope.

I suffered a miscarriage around 12 weeks, and the bleeding began at that time. It lasted for 3 or 4 weeks with a full week or so feeling like the worst period I had ever had. I passed tissue, placenta, had severe cramping, back pain, nausea, and it was an all around miserable experience. I sincerely wish that I had not naturally passed and chosen to get the D&C. The physical exhaustion and pain was nothing compared to the drawn out emotional pain and drama.

I've had two miscarriages that happened around that timeframe. I chose to wait the first time. I bled on and off (not heavily) for over 3 Months. I also had bad acne and just didn't feel good. THEN, I finally chose to have the D&C. It wasn't pleasant, but my body was back to normal in just days.

The second time, I had cramping and bleeding, passed a few clots, and it was all over within 2-3 days. I never bled heavily or had any complications. I never missed a day of work or bled much more than a normal period. I felt fine immediately after.

Good luck with this. Be sure to monitor how you are feeling and check in with your doctor if you notice any fever or other unusual symptoms.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been through it too and I opted for it to pass naturally also. The U/S was on a Tuesday and I passed the brunt of it on the following Saturday, in the middle of the night. After that it seemed like a heavy period for around a week and my levels were down to 1 at the end of the following week. They should follow your levels so they know that everything has passed. Like you said, every situation is different, I think that's why your doc told you 4 weeks. Take care.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is one of the most difficult things i ever went through. I did opt for a D&E and felt this was the best option for us. The procedure was essentially painless and had very little recovery time after. It helped us mourn and move on instead of a prolonged waiting period. My levels were still elevated for 3+ months after so I think to pass it naturally would have taken quite some time. I wish you good luck in whatever you choose. Please hang in there.

I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know that there is anything you can do to prepare yourself for something like this. I've miscarried three times. The first I bled for several weeks, had extreme pain and, ultimately, had a D&C. The next two, I chose to have a D&E. A D&E is gentler on your uterus than a D&C (the "c" is a scraping of the uterus, while the "e" is extraction), and is just what my high risk doctor uses. The next two were so emotional anyway, I just wanted it to be over and chose to have the D&E right away.

It's different for everyone, and a 7-8 week fetus might not be as hard on your body as one that was further along. But, emotionally, the drawn out process is very hard to deal with.

Sweetie I am SO sorry for your loss! It's a horrible thing. My son passed at 28 weeks approximately. It took me a week to go to the doctor, and we waited a week to induce delivery, knowing that i could naturally deliver at any given time- he also told me it could take up to 4 weeks- and I am sorry, I don't know if that was from loss date or the date we were having the discussion. I was thankful for that week, it was difficult, but I had to bury my son- I think anything after 20 weeks its required, so I had time to plan his funeral and make those arrangements. Delivery was an all day affair for us, we induced at 6 am and I delivered about 9:30 pm, it wasn't a difficult delivery though- just emotional. Good luck and GOD bless you & your family.

after reading the other responses, I want to agree with another mom- please know that you and your husband will grieve differently- it's normal and this loss is one of the hardest things a marriage will ever go through. Talk to each other- hold each other and pray together- you will make it through.

S.,
I have not experienced a miscarriage before, so unfortunately I do cannot help with information. But I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray that you may experience peace in your grieving, strength during this difficult time, and healing throughout the months to come.
J.