Preparing for Potty Training

I've only potty trained a boy, so it might be different; but I spent a lot of time pulling pants up and down, and at 4 1/2 I still don't send him any where in button pants because he can't undo them him self. He is still in a pull up at night, but I did have a friend tell me that the reason they put their daughter in a bed was because she couldn't get out of her crib to go potty.

Are you ready for the potty training? Get her some pretty panties, pull ups and her own special poty chair. Tell her how pretty the big girl panties are and that she doesn't want to get them dirty. Let her pick all the stuff out. You'll want to start this when you have a few days off so that the first few days can be spent at home to get a little routine started. If she can pull her own pants up and down she is more then ready. Pull ups on days out and naps. A diaper at night but just for a week or so. Until she gets into a routine. It will be hectic for awhile but she will need support from MOM AND DAD. But an occasional accident shouldn't be punished. Explain that she learning to be a big girl. Good Luck and many patients.

Potty training is a long process. With my first, he showed the readiness signs at about 18mo, so we got started. He would go periodically, was dry at night (from about 6mo), understood flushing, wasn't afraid of the potty, etc. However, it's not an overnight process. At 22 mo, she's probably ready to get started with her own potty at say bathtime, first thing in the morning, when you think about it. I like to PT in the summer. I can let the kids run around in regular underpants or trainers (NOT pull ups) outside. Then if they have an accident, oh well, no mess, just new pants. Also, the less they are wearing, the easier it is to make it on time. Plus, when we're outside, both my son and daughter have learned to run to the big tree and go potty. Sounds crazy, but it worked! Both of my older two were day trained just after 2 years. My baby (16mo) has just started being interested and he has his little potty in the bathroom. I'll be using the same summer technique with him starting in a couple of months.
Best advice: be patient. It takes time and there WILL be accidents. BTW: I don't think you have to wait until she can pull up her own pants, get them down, is out of the crib or anything else. You'll be her cheerleader for about a year. And you'll be teaching her how to wipe for a LONG time. With my girl, I'm still repeating "front to back, pee-pee to butt" to help her remember the correct way to wipe. Wow, the things we do as parents. You couldn't have warned me 10 years ago that I'd be having THIS discussion! :) good luck!

Yes, the child needs to be somewhat capable of pulling down their Pull-ups when they need to go. They are not ready unles they have some sense of independence. They also should be in a regular bed if you want this to be successful. Otherwise, you are sending them mixed messages that they use the toilet during the day but do not have to worry about it at night. The training process goes so much smoother and quicker if they are ready and feeling independent.

lol, there are a thousand ways this has been done and it mostly depends on your child and what you want to deal with. good luck!

She should at least be able to tell you when she has to go so you can assist her, if she can't get her own pants off herself. My daughter is 21 months and I plan to start training her this summer. She's shown signs of being ready. Has your daughter shown any signs? Does she dislike being in a wet or messy diaper? Does she have interest in the potty? Does she tell you when she is wetting her diaper or shortly after? Get her her own little potty chair. And as far as night time goes, she most likely won't be able to go all night without a pull up or diaper until she is closer to 4 or 5. My son is nearing 5 and he still needs a pull up at night, even though he is completely trained during the day. But right now is a great time to introduce the potty, even if full out potty training is a little while away. I set my daughter on it before bath time. She hasn't gone yet, but we at least sit down on it. Give her a couple days to play with and experiment with her new potty chair when you get one for her. Make it a fun experience and let her be in control as much as you can. It will be a big time power struggle otherwise. Also, teach her to go often, instead of holding it and staying dry. Like setting a timer and helping her go every time the timer goes off. And reward her for effort as well as when she does go for you. Good luck!

One thing that really helped prepare my son was watching us go on the potty. It sounds kind of gross, but he learned many things from observation and explanation: that pee and poop come out your bottom, that big kids don't use diapers, you need to pull down your pants, mommy sits to pee and poop, daddy can stand to pee (not relevant for a girl) but can sit too, daddy sits to poop, how we wipe and flush, then wash hands, etc. It wasn't that he was gawking at our private parts, but it was a lesson in how boys and girls are different.

The bottom line is that we did not pressure him to learn to use the potty, we presented it as a part of life. We let him watch us, ask questions, look in the potty. Every now and then we would ask him if he wanted to sit on the big kid potty. In turn, it wasn't a scary, new thing. He just did it. Kind of like eating with a spoon or fork, you just do it. It takes practice, but they learn!

We also put a little potty out for him to become familiar with, but he didn't use it much. He liked to pretend to go in it. He was in day care at the time and they took the toddler kids to the potty very regularly. Some of the older toddlers were already trained. One day his teacher told me he had been in underwear all day with no accidents! I went to Target and bought tons of undies and he had very few accidents after that! Talk about positive peer influence!!

I bought my daughter a potty when she was 18 months, it ususally takes a child a while to get used to a potty, so she didn't know how to take her diaper off that well. I had her sit on it a few times a day until she was used to it, then more frequently, before and after meals and before and after she was napping, within 6 months she was completly potty trained. Then we went to visit family for christmas, driving across country and she refused to do it anymore. Now we are actually in panties. she is 26 months old. So if you think she is ready to start experimenting, then go for it, i dont think it is ever to soon to start as long as the pressure isnt there and she is having fun with it!

Potty training is a lot about their bodies sending a signal to their brains that they need to go to the potty. So her being able to recognize that she needs to go is the key. The actually learning to sit on the potty and get the diaper off and all of that is really minor and easy. And then, once she has the idea of potty training, you can put her in pull ups so she can get them off easily to go potty herself.

Then, the night time potty training could take longer because it often takes longer for the brain to realize that they need to go while they are sleeping. My son was 4 before he all of a sudden woke up one night when he needed to go potty and from then on, he could do it. before that he would just sleep right through it and no amount of "training" could help him learn it sooner because his body and brain hadn't developed that connection yet. But I hear girls get these things sooner, so it probably won't take as long with your daughter.

The biggest indicator that she is ready if she goes dry at naptime, wakes up dry in the mornings, and understands what the "urge" is. She is young and it takes time and she has to be ready. Pulling her pants up and down is important but more important is her even knowing when to hold her bladder and know when she has to go ahead of time. It is always okay to get her a little potty and put her on it several times a day, however don't push it so much yet. NEVER ask her if she has to go, as 90% of the time it will be the answer "NO", just set her on it, if she goes make it a big deal, if not tell her you are happy she tried.
If she isn't in a regular bed I would transition her first in that, any changes in daily life can cause regression. Get her used to a big girl bed first.
I used pullups in both of my kids training, I can say it is a lot less stressful and it was just as successful as underwear. If you cannot handle pee or poop messes I suggest pullups at first. I also waited for both of my kids to be ready and it took only a matter of weeks and it was all done, pooping/peeing 100% and they were in underwear. I continued to use pullups at night for a few weeks after during the day was complete and I am happy to say I really didn't have potty issues. The key I found though is to wait.
I started with my daughter at 22 mos and it was WAY too early and we started all over again at 3 and the second time it was over with.

Hi A.!

You're questions aren't stupid; you're just inquisitive. I have four boys and let me assure you that every child is different. Girls are much easier to potty train than boys (so I've been told; I wouldn't know!). My first son was potty trained by 18 months. I knew he was ready because at 15 months, he began taking off his diaper and going to the bathroom behind the curtains in his room. I bought him a little potty chair and put it in front of the tv and he'd sit on it until he went. He was too young to tell me when he had to go, so I'd just sit him there until he went. He stayed on the potty because his favorite movie was playing. When he went, he'd get really excited, run around the potty in circles, clapping and cheering for himself. My second son was 2 1/2 before he was potty trained. My third one is now 2 1/2 and he is finally completely potty trained throughout the day but will not

Hi! You had good questions. I have three children ages 4, 3, and 1. Keep in mind that each child is different so don't worry if your child isn't potty trained yet while someone esles child is. My oldest was traied at 18 months while my three year old just got trained. When they are ready they will go potty for you. It may take a little bit of time, but she will catch on. Also, if she is not ready (and you'll know after a while) then don't sweat it and I suggest waiting until she is ready. I give treats (a few m&m's for example) when they have gone potty in the chair. And a bigger prize for poopy. As for potty training at night, that takes longer. So, just wait on that one and work on the day time training first. You'll figure it out as time goes on. Good luck!!

That's up to you. Ithink it makes it much easier if they can pull dowm their own pants and sit on the potty themselves. It's still a good idea to havve to know how to tell you that she needs to go so that when you're out in public you can help her find one.
For me daughter showed interest long before she was two. So we just started to show her the vidoes from the local library and started to sit her on the potty but didn't force the issue. She learned to strip herself so I made sure she could get to the bathroom to try to potty train but when we went any were I made sure she had a diaper on. As she became more accustom to the process it just kind of all feel in place with out me realizing it.
My daughters still in pull ups for night time. But she's only three though, we ask the dr aboout it she said night time is up to us when try. But if she's a deep sleeper it'll be harder to train at night.
Hope that helps and good luck.

potty training is a process that CAN take years. my opinion is that you take whatever you can get with a child this young. if they are willing to sit on the toilet but you have to do everything else for them, do it. it will at least save you some diapers. and they will feel good about what they can do. encourage anything she's willing to do and add in little by little another step for her to do herself. my 30 month old was so into potty training at 22 months, we couldn't get him off the toilet. he has regressed a little in his interest lately so i have to push a little more, but at the same time, he is now able to do more of it on his own. at the beginning, i had to turn on and off the lights, lift him onto the toilet, help him turn on the water and get soap for his hands, help him off the toilet, all the time telling him to stop touching all the things he could reach from the toilet. now i can ask him to go and he will turn on the light, take off his pullup, get on the toilet himself, tell me when he's done so i can help wipe and help put on the pull up, then i can tell him to flush and wash his hands and walk out of the room because he can do the rest himself. even though he was really excited to use the toilet in the beginning, he still used his pull up for #1 & #2 at times. it has been a long time now since he did #2 in his pull up, even when we're away from the house. he doesn't get out of bed to go to the bathroom at night yet, but he's getting better about holding it in in the morning until he gets to the toilet. i just told you all that so you'd have an idea of how it could go. every child is different with potty training.

A.,

You're starting at the right time. I unfortunately am in the process of potty training my almost 3 YO. I've started researching what I need to do. I don't know if your child is in day care but what I've read is that every 20 minutes you need to put them on the potty to get them in the routine. If they are in day care you need to see if the staff will help you do this. I also read that if you get them videos/dvd's or books on the subject it helps them.

Wish you the best of luck! I know I'm in for a long haul!

Lorraine

Hi A.:

My fourth child just finished potty training. I have found that it is best to not stress about it so much and to just let it happen when it happens. All of my children didn't really get it until just at age 3. I found that when I pushed it and tried the panties and pull ups it just made it worse. My children would go pee n the potty just great but when it came time for the other they would ask for a diaper. I showed them the pile of diapers that I had and said that once the diapers were gone they would have to go on the potty. It worked. I think sometimes it just seems scary to them. I don't think it is worth pushing until they can actually start to realize when they need to go and be able to tell you. I say just relax it will happen. Save yourself and your child the stress. Good luck!
S. A.

go to easypottytraining.com. You have to pay for an online book, but it is SOOOOOOOOOO worth it! My daughter was potty trained at 20 months, and it only took 5 days. My only change is that the book says to just stay home while you are doing it. I say stay in the actual bathroom for as much of the day as you can possibly stand...bring toys and books and snacks, and just camp out there. Also, please don't bother with pull ups...they are SUCH A BIG WASTE OF MONEY, and to the kids, they are just another kind of diaper. And I would totally make sure she is in a big girl bed first. You never want them to not be able to go potty

I've read parts of Potty Training in a Day. It seems to be for older kids. The one we use and I have friends that use is "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" by Azrin. It's great. You can use it as young as 20 months with great success. We took it a little slower and did it in 3 days, but only ever had two accidents after that. I didn't worry about night dryness, and it kind of took care of itself. I understand from other moms that use this method that it is great, but night dryness depends more on the kids than on the method of training you use. We love the system because you don't have months and months of the issue. It truly is just one day, even taking it slower. We have our 21 month old scheduled to do it next week.

In my opinion, you are dealing with two separate things. If you deal with them at the same time --- you might not have success. You know when your child is ready to potty train when she shows interest, doesn't like having wet/dirty diapers, and/or when you change her diapers in the morning they are dry. Fortunately for you, I've heard that girls are easier to potty train than boys. There are lots of potty training theories out there. Pick one that makes sense for you. I would think she would need to be able to pull down her own pants & panties/pull-ups (pull-ups are easier for her to get on and off than diapers) and sit herself on the potty. Some kids like potty chairs while others like the special seats on the big potty. I had both available. Have something available for her to see if she is even interested. Don't pressure/punish her because she'll resist. Make this a positive experience. Kids potty train at different ages when THEY are good and ready. Good luck. As far as transitiong from a crib to a bed. If your child is able to climb out of the crib --- that's a sign she's ready. Also, if she can climb in and out of a bed --- she's ready. You can use a toddler bed. I, frankly, think it's a waste of money. You can put a mattress on the floor or you can put a side railing on the bed to prevent falls from the bed. Which thing do you tackle first --- potty or bed? That's up to you and your child. But don't do both.

The only advise I can give that nobody else addressed is that when your daughter shows the interest of being potty trained and you make the decision to do it use up or thow away all the diapers and NEVER go back. That is definately sending mixed signals to them. My daughter was 20 months when she made the decision "no more diapers" and we never looked back. We had a few accidents at night but never during the day. You just have to make sure that they go right before bed and if they wake up in the middle of the night it is for a reason. My son is now potty trained and is 2 1/2. It took a little more patience on my part with him. We used pullups for a couple of months but I made the decision to go with underwear because he was just treating the pullups like a diaper. Just be prepaired to clean messes and not to get too upset. Remember they are only young for a little while. Enjoy everything you can.

There is a great book that lets you know what to look for when preparing for potty training called Potty Training in a Day (or something like that) It is important that they know how to do all those things when training, because they don't have much time once they "feel" like they need to go. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and frustration if you wait till they have the physical capacity to go on the potty themselves. (i.e. pulling down their own pants and getting up at night to do it themselves.
It's very tempting to get the ball rolling, just don't expect much if they are really young.

Hi A.,
I have been working with toddler's for over twenty years now and I can tell you a thing or two about this first hand, I have been right behind many little tykes when they succeeded, and the first one would be: Do not force them, let it be their decision. Forcing them just makes the process alot longer. You take them to the store to pick out their own new underwear and then it only takes a couple of times having an accident before they get the hang of it. But their is 7 signs they need to meet before you even start. When they have an accident do not scold or show disappointment, just say uh oh, it was just an accident, you can try again next time. When they do succeed and get it in the potty, internalize their success for them. I know that you want to jump up and down and hoop and holler but contain it, they have little control over alot of things in their life, this needs to be their accomplishment and idea, so to internalize it, when they do it, you say to them (calmy) wow! how does that make you feel? You put your Poop and Pee in the potty, that is yours isn't it? Another thing I do is I have them sit on the potty backwards so that they feel more secure sitting and they see the BM and urine leave their body which is another internal cue for them. The reason why it is called Potty Training is because the parent is trained to ask if they have to go incesently, and that is a drain on their little self esteem, I know that none of us would want to be asked over and over again or lead in there every hour or so, it's humiliating for them, think about it from their perspective, so if you are reminding him/her or taking them in all the time you are training yourself and humiliating them. We do not give these intelligent little people the credit they deserve, their biggest wish it to please you as a parent so why wouldn't they do it on their own when they are ready, instead of being made to. I do not know if you are familiar with Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, but he has a book called,"Toilet training the Brazelton way" and in his book he has the seven signs to watch for readiness in your child that I mentioned and his philosophy is the one I adopted and I can promise you that it has worked for my children and for countless children in my care for years.
Best of luck in whatever you decide.
These are the beautiful years. (Poop and all)
J. P.