So my friend went to basic training and doesn't know I am pregnant i will be 30 weeks when he gets home. Should I tell him or no? Please help!!!!!
Thank you all so much I just wanted to add that it was just a friend we were not in a relationship. And I have had heard he is out from sun up to sun down and even past then and didnt know if it would make things worse. This baby is not about our relationship it is about him knowing he will be having a baby. I already plan to keep the baby with or without him I am a mother of one already and I was just trying to figure out for his best intrest if it would over do him or not. I have planned the paternity test and all so he would not have to work about that at all. But once again thank you all so much for your input it does help alot!!!!
Well I finally got ahold of the dad and he is actually happy and involved with the pregnancy as much as possible. We are not together for the fact it was not that relationship but all is well.
New update: Baby was born her father is now married him and his wife are both excepting and I found an amazing man that as well was excepting to the pregnancy and there the whole time. Even though she has a biologic dad he is also her daddy and loved her with or without dna.
Is this for real? Yes, you should tell him. You are about to be a mother very shortly. Mothers have to be responsible. (I'm not telling you something, that you don't already know. I'm not trying to be rude.) Be responsible. He has the right to know.
If you DON'T tell him, he is going to be seriously confused and probably upset by the time he gets home and finds out. Or, even worse, someone else will let him know that you're pregnant and he'll be even more mad that YOU weren't the one to tell him. So, yes, I would say you need to tell him, especially if you're going to want him involved with the baby.
uhhh yeah ... like yesterday.
Yes. It is his baby too.
Good luck and best wishes at doing what is best for your baby.
Yes tell him. Do you really want to start out co-parenting with this guy by keeping secrests?
Yes, let him know so he can have time to let it sink in and hopefully figure out how to make things work out the best they can.
If he's the father? Then yes you should!
Is this a friend, or a boyfriend? Is this a committed relationship or a casual thing? Either way, you need to tell him - if he is the father, he has a right to know. Do you think he should come back on leave to that kind of a "surprise"? What are his plans after basic training as far as his time in the military? Do you think he would be willing to at least provide financial support for his child? Do you want to even keep this baby to raise yourself, even though it may mean doing it alone? Needless to say, you two have A LOT to discuss!
I would say you have to. 30 weeks is a long time, if it was only 12-15 weeks I might say to wait but it is his child, his responsibility, and his right to know. That would be one bad surprise to come back and see you huge and not have been told.
He needs to know. This affects his life as well. Congratulations!
This is a toughie, my husband just got back from basic and let me tell you he was under so much stress I don't think I would have added to it even if it were a pregnancy!
The difference is that we are married, have two kids already, and even if it were a surprize we would have definitely been keeping it and thrilled for an extra baby to love, so waiting until he got home wouldn't change any of the decisions about "what to do."
It sounds like you and he have some big decisions to make, but right now he is just unable to make them. We only had 10 minute phone calls once a week, that certainly isn't enough time for you to figure out what you are going to do with your relationship, what kind of involvement you want from him as a father....
I guess though, he really *does* need to know. I would tell him, but make sure he knows that you won't make any decisions regarding this child and the life you will build around it until he gets home.
You need to tell him. It is not fair to wait until he is home to tell him. He deserves time to process the fact that he's going to be a dad, to deal with his emotions. The sooner, the better.
If you decide to tell him, I would consider going through "official" channels to do it. Maybe the chaplain's office. I think his superiors need to know that he will be dealing with this while he's there. I know for other sorts of things (births, deaths, serious illness, etc.), you can go through the American Red Cross, but I doubt it would be appropriate in this situation; you could give them a call to see. If a message goes through AMCROSS it always goes through the chain of command and through the chaplain's office. So he would be getting some support while dealing with the information. If you don't go through his chain of command to deliver this news, please encourage him to tell his drill sargeant and/or commanding officer so they are aware.
If you need help figuring out who to contact, should you decide to go the official route, PM me and I'll see what I can find out.
he has the right to know, and it sounds like you dont care either way if he is involved so tell him just that. you are pregnant its his and you are leaving the rest up to him. congrats!!
He has a right to know that he has a child coming into the world. What he chooses to do with that information is up to him.
if you are thirty weeks pregnant, don't you think he will 1) know you are pregnant, and 2) wonder if it is his? Why have you waited so long to tell him? If you are planning to keep the child regardless of his reaction, don't you think that he should know that he is the father? I would certainly tell him (I would have told him much earlier than now)
